Saturday, May 24, 2014
As they say-What a difference a day makes. I really wallowed yesterday. I got home had two huge Bloody Mary's, 2lbs of crab legs, a pint of raspberry chocolate chip gelato, McDonald's Fish with a large fry, and a double cheeseburger from Burger King. When I got on the scale this morning I have gained 3 lbs. That's 2 weeks in a row of weight gain.
Today is a much calmer day. As I was riding my recumbent bike I decided for the rest of the day I would only have a soothing music. I got in some stretching and strengthening exercises in as well.
Isn't it fantastic we wake up and get to start fresh? Clean Slate. Yesterday gone. We can spend thinking about right now. Not tomorrow but, now. If we could just stop, take a deep breathe and think, just now,breathe,just now. Not a minute, an hour, or tomorrow, just now.
I plan on doing that JUST NOW!
Does that mean every day is day one? I might try that. Maybe I won't spend my days beating myself up for all the mistakes of yesterday.
on this Memorial Day weekend I will honor those who fought for us by honoring myself,spending time in worship and being thankful for our freedom!!
Being grateful for the chance to learn to be better everyday!!!
Wednesday, May 07, 2014
We're supposed to write about what is stopping us from achieving our goals. I think my main thing is still self sabotage. I am taking the stress challenge and doing (somewhat) the 10 steps on emotional eating. I am confident that continuing (notice) I didn't say if, to keep tracking,exercising,and being part of my teams with the challenges I have committed to the goals will happen!!!
Friday, May 02, 2014
This update has been challenging me all week to write. I don't journal well and I never done any food tracking. I realized that has been a part of what has been keeping me from succeeding in my journey. Not just weight-loss but, every aspect of my life. I had exercised 133 days straight until I injured my ribs. Get on the scale and had not lost any weight. I knew then that things needed to change. Even now I keep doing other things yes, work is one of them instead of writing this blog.I started tracking mt food and exercise on SP. I found it so time consuming and still do. One of the patients at the office I work at told me about myfitnesspal app. I tried it and have found it to be a little different. I like the fact that when you put in your food and exercise it tells you how many cal you have remaining or if you have gone over. I use the tracker for 1/2 lb a week and that brought my caloric intake to 1450. That is more doable than 1200. So, the goal of losing weight can be realized.
Goal 2 and they are not in priority as I write this. Every year one of my goals is to be a better person. I am bi-polar and can no longer take medication. They cause seizures which I started having. I looked up towards God and said "Ok , it's really up to you now". He lifted my depression in mid Nov. It was incredible! I did up Thanksgiving and Christmas. I started my spring cleaning early and then hurt my ribs. The exercise streak stopped and all my other stuff. I am almost healed and have gone back to everything but, the cleaning. I hate cleaning. I think in a past life I was royalty and had that stuff done for me. I'll get back to it because I was rearranging my bedroom to be stress relieving to keep myself calm. Most people who have not had or have had a mild case doesn't understand how it can stop you from living your life. I became reclusive. Only going out when I had to. This went on for over 5 yrs. The meds when I could take them only helped with keeping me calm . Now, I am faced with the anger and poison that engulfs me. People think oh she can just stop acting like that or she's being an a***. It's like I am a different person and have no control over it at all. I have tried all my life to gain control. I am blessed to have people in my life that tell me they don't understand but, they love me and have never turned their back on me. Mental illness does not work that way. I am looking forward to the day that I can declare complete healing.
Goal 3-Continue to get the house organized. I have been doing this for 14 yrs now. Another long story. I am at the stage where if I keep pushing I can have a yard sale this Sept. After at least 100 bags of shoes and clothes, 5 dump truck, and a huge dumpster delivered to my drive, and several bulk trash pick ups (which is on going). I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Goal 4-Participate with Spark Teams more. This is very hard. I have found it is too overwhelming to check-in with all my teams. I am tired of feeling guilty over that and have decided which ones that have challenges I can join and are that I can give back as well as receive. One of them I have tried numerous times to stay active but, they rarely keep the daily challenge updated. I have even contacted one of the leaders and have not heard back. Disappointing but oh well.
Goal 5- Which I just added last month. Get off the CPAP. I have made an appt with an ent to have my deviated septum taken care of and I am hopeful by continuing to lose weight I will achieve this goal. If I can't get off of it, at least I know that I have done what I can do.
Well, That's it
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