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LADYSHERRY's Recent Blog Entries

A New Day

Saturday, May 24, 2014

As they say-What a difference a day makes. I really wallowed yesterday. I got home had two huge Bloody Mary's, 2lbs of crab legs, a pint of raspberry chocolate chip gelato, McDonald's Fish with a large fry, and a double cheeseburger from Burger King. When I got on the scale this morning I have gained 3 lbs. That's 2 weeks in a row of weight gain. emoticon

Today is a much calmer day. emoticon As I was riding my recumbent bike I decided for the rest of the day I would only have a soothing music. I got in some stretching and strengthening exercises in as well. emoticon

Isn't it fantastic we wake up and get to start fresh? Clean Slate. Yesterday gone. We can spend thinking about right now. Not tomorrow but, now. If we could just stop, take a deep breathe and think, just now,breathe,just now. Not a minute, an hour, or tomorrow, just now.

I plan on doing that JUST NOW!

Does that mean every day is day one? I might try that. Maybe I won't spend my days beating myself up for all the mistakes of yesterday.

emoticon on this Memorial Day weekend I will honor those who fought for us by honoring myself,spending time in worship and being thankful for our freedom!!

emoticon Being grateful for the chance to learn to be better everyday!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SYDLETZIII 5/24/2014 5:04PM

    emoticon one day at a time.

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TWEETYKC00 5/24/2014 11:50AM

    Yes, we can have a fresh start anytime we need one. Deep breaths and calming thoughts for you today. Hugs.

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Feeling beat down

Friday, May 23, 2014

I just feel like the title. Beat down. I forget that my boss does not realize the work I put in. He thinks my co-worker does it all. I had told myself when he had the heart attack and found out how he viewed me that I would no longer care and put forth an effort at work. That's just not me. Yesterday I was reminded and now I am trying to distance myself. I need to go back to only doing what is required since he will not acknowledge my worth to his practice. He had a heart attack in the office. Long story short I called the ambulance and he was in surgery with in the golden hour. I went to the hospital,made all the calls he wanted me to make(after he was brought up to ICU),he wanted me to call all his friends and his children over and over. I stayed at the hospital til 10:30pm. His sister,Mother and kids finally had shown up. My co-worker could not handle trying to find a dr to sub I had to help with that. My boss (dr) kept texting me all day. I had to get the subs prepped for the day and keep everything going.His family went home the next day and he expected me to pick him up from the hospital. He texted me saying he was ready to go and it was time for me to get back to work. That just deflated me. My heart sank. I was exhausted. I texted him back asking him when did I stop working. My room mate and I were having problems and still are somewhat. When I got to the hospital I asked him what he wanted me to do. Should I drive back to the Chevy Chase location or go home. He said to call my so-worker to see if she had any work for me to do. I went off on him. I told him that I know my job and that I haven't asked my co-worker's permission in a long time. I said she even comes to me for advice. Her and I are equals, we work together to get the job done. I said you don't even know what I do there do you? I said so you tell me what you want me to do because I'm not calling Pia. He told me I could go home after I took him to his car. I was crushed. I swore then that I would just do my job and not care. Like I said I'm just not that way. I am going to learn how to write a resume this weekend and start applying for jobs. I see way to much fraud in the industry. I just want to do patient care and not know the bs that goes on. My sister is a vampire and a liar. I have had to see her and interact with her more than usual which puts a lot of stress on me. I worry about my health all the time. I am actively trying to get and stay healthy. I'm just having a bad two weeks. I can't seem to keep up with the teams and challenges that I'm trying to stay active with. You guys ROCK!!!!!!!!
Sorry for my pity party. I just can't wait to get out of work so I can really have a good cry.
I'm alone this weekend which is good but I feel left out. Everyone is off doing fun and family things that I'm not part of. The day trip I had planned with a friend fell through and I don't have the gas money to go.
Speaking of money. I am now having to buy my food,meds and supplies for my other work on my charge card. Something's got to give soon. It's bad when you can't afford to feed yourself and you're trying to get healthy.

Thanks for listening

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVEN_D 5/23/2014 8:13PM

    That's a lot. Wouldn't want to be that guys patients. Maybe you should have let the co-worker call the ambulance? That's not nice I know, but hard not to poke at a jerk like that. I say find a better office to work in.

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MAVERICKDR 5/23/2014 5:37PM

    To thine own self be true. There's a lot for you to unpack, but there's obviously some inner spark on which you are leaning. I hope you can find some comfort in the midst of this trial.

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LADYSHERRY 5/23/2014 5:30PM

    AJB12199 thanks-I take it you live near or in DC.
Tweetykcoo I wish you were here to. Thanks for the support

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AJB121299 5/23/2014 5:26PM

    keep moving forward

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TWEETYKC00 5/23/2014 5:26PM

    Wish I could be there for you, you know, be there be there, but you know your sparkies will always listen. Sending hugs.

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Sunny Gal bonus challenge week 1

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

We're supposed to write about what is stopping us from achieving our goals. I think my main thing is still self sabotage. I am taking the stress challenge and doing (somewhat) the 10 steps on emotional eating. I am confident that continuing (notice) I didn't say if, to keep tracking,exercising,and being part of my teams with the challenges I have committed to the goals will happen!!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SGTSUNNY 5/9/2014 5:08PM

    You will succeed! Keep up the good work and you will reach your goals

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5/4/14 Stress blog 1

Sunday, May 04, 2014

I realized that if I don't get my stress under control I'll be serious trouble. Yesterday morning when I poured a cup of coffee instead of grabbing the creamer I poured the iced tea in it. My pain levels great stress. Wearing the CPAP creates stress . Tracking everything creates stress. Working in an environment where I see fraud every day is stress ful. I have often thought about reporting it. The insurance companies take years to finalize the investigations when they decide to do something about it. I would love to be one of those PI's following people around to catch them. I also see people very injured. The system is totally flawed. Dealing with my sister is very,very stressful. I have had to limit the amount of interaction I have with her. Unfortunately she got into a car accident and is now treating where I work. Seeing my Mom in the nursing home is stressful. In other words almost every aspect of my life is stressful including maintaining my health. I am hopeful by doing this challenge I will walk away with some tools that I don't use already.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SGTSUNNY 5/5/2014 4:39PM

    So much stress! Hoping talking about it will help. It is good to have an outlet for venting. Hope it gets better soon.

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BE-THE-CHANGE 5/4/2014 8:59PM

    I hope the new challenge is of some help to you!

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UNICORN212 5/4/2014 6:13PM

    When I have a stressful situation, I look at it and think "Can I control this? Is there something I can do right now that will change this?" If the answer is NO, I make a decision to not let it stress me out. It may still be in the back of my mind, and I still do not like it, but it makes life more bearable. But, if the answer is YES I have to figure out what I can do to change it. Maybe tracking your food and exercise on paper would be less stressful. Do a 10 minute work out. Be happy your Mom is somewhere she is cared for. Try to change your perspective. It really helps!

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SYDLETZIII 5/4/2014 3:47PM

    I am praying that you find what you need to succeed with relieving the stress.

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TWEETYKC00 5/4/2014 11:20AM

    I hope you can find some good ways to help you with all the stress in life. Hugs.

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SPATTEN2001 5/4/2014 10:55AM

    That is a lot of stress for one person .... I hope that the challenge will indeed give you some tools that will be helpful in dealing with all of it.

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Update on goals for 2014-sorry this is so long

Friday, May 02, 2014

This update has been challenging me all week to write. I don't journal well and I never done any food tracking. I realized that has been a part of what has been keeping me from succeeding in my journey. Not just weight-loss but, every aspect of my life. I had exercised 133 days straight until I injured my ribs. Get on the scale and had not lost any weight. I knew then that things needed to change. Even now I keep doing other things yes, work is one of them instead of writing this blog.I started tracking mt food and exercise on SP. I found it so time consuming and still do. One of the patients at the office I work at told me about myfitnesspal app. I tried it and have found it to be a little different. I like the fact that when you put in your food and exercise it tells you how many cal you have remaining or if you have gone over. I use the tracker for 1/2 lb a week and that brought my caloric intake to 1450. That is more doable than 1200. So, the goal of losing weight can be realized.

Goal 2 and they are not in priority as I write this. Every year one of my goals is to be a better person. I am bi-polar and can no longer take medication. They cause seizures which I started having. I looked up towards God and said "Ok , it's really up to you now". He lifted my depression in mid Nov. It was incredible! I did up Thanksgiving and Christmas. I started my spring cleaning early and then hurt my ribs. The exercise streak stopped and all my other stuff. I am almost healed and have gone back to everything but, the cleaning. I hate cleaning. I think in a past life I was royalty and had that stuff done for me. emoticon I'll get back to it because I was rearranging my bedroom to be stress relieving to keep myself calm. Most people who have not had or have had a mild case doesn't understand how it can stop you from living your life. I became reclusive. Only going out when I had to. This went on for over 5 yrs. The meds when I could take them only helped with keeping me calm . Now, I am faced with the anger and poison that engulfs me. People think oh she can just stop acting like that or she's being an a***. It's like I am a different person and have no control over it at all. I have tried all my life to gain control. I am blessed to have people in my life that tell me they don't understand but, they love me and have never turned their back on me. Mental illness does not work that way. I am looking forward to the day that I can declare complete healing.

Goal 3-Continue to get the house organized. I have been doing this for 14 yrs now. Another long story. I am at the stage where if I keep pushing I can have a yard sale this Sept. After at least 100 bags of shoes and clothes, 5 dump truck, and a huge dumpster delivered to my drive, and several bulk trash pick ups (which is on going). I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Goal 4-Participate with Spark Teams more. This is very hard. I have found it is too overwhelming to check-in with all my teams. I am tired of feeling guilty over that and have decided which ones that have challenges I can join and are that I can give back as well as receive. One of them I have tried numerous times to stay active but, they rarely keep the daily challenge updated. I have even contacted one of the leaders and have not heard back. Disappointing but oh well.

Goal 5- Which I just added last month. Get off the CPAP. I have made an appt with an ent to have my deviated septum taken care of and I am hopeful by continuing to lose weight I will achieve this goal. If I can't get off of it, at least I know that I have done what I can do.

Well, That's it emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SGTSUNNY 5/2/2014 5:48PM

    Great goals Sherry! I think tracking is so important to losing weight. Decluttering is also key! It is a Mental, Exercise and diet combination that works and you are addressing them all. WTG!

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