Monday, December 01, 2014
1st Day of my streak!! 10 minutes of exercise everday
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Main: Figure out your "real" goal weight by determining your current lean mass and adding a healthy body fat percentage to that number. For example:
Current lean mass: 125
Estimated body fat percentage at goal weight: 25%
"Real" goal weight: 125 + 25% = 156.25
* Obviously this will just be an initial estimate since lean mass may increase as one loses weight and gains muscle. (It may also decrease, but hopefully not - we want to keep all that muscle!)
Bonus: Blog about your thoughts on this (potentially) new goal weight. Also, review your end-of-challenge goal weight and adjust it if needed.
My "Real" goal weight is 100.88 Let me just say I immediately started crying. So many emotions coming on at once. I remember that weight and how hard it was to stay between 95 and 105lbs. I had a very physical job, walked to and from work, hiked, biked, canoed on the weekends, and was always hungry. The struggle of maintaining that weight was all consuming. I think what was bringing me to tears was Reliving THE LAND OF USE TO. I use to be fit. I use to be pretty. I use to be wanted. I use to be adored. I use to feel I could get anything and anybody I wanted. I use to get any job I set out to get. I use to be confident. I DON'T LIVE THERE ANYMORE!
I live here now. 32 years later I'm here. Unfit, unhealthy, struggling with staying confident, feeling ugly, unwanted and a lot of times deflated. The bad things that I endured got the better of me . I was sexually abused by my sister's fiancÚ at 11. Then again at 14, by then they were married. My sister and her husband continually said I would be pregnant by 13. I was still outgoing and they thought I didn't know how to say no. I was date raped at 19 and had just had surgery with the bandages and stitches still on. He's dead by the way. I started living with my boyfriend at 18 and he then proceeded to beat me and verbally abuse me. I just didn't know how to react. I just took it and before you know it I was convinced it was all my fault. I did try to fight back and after 4yrs I finally left. I then proceeded to find another abuser. I didn't know any other way to be in the world. I also was very into drinking and drugging. Over the next 25yrs I was addicted to many different things. I would leave one drug alone and move on to the next high. I did manage to find a good gut to live with for a few yrs who did teach me about real love. After leaving him I went back to the abusers. It was when I was with him that I gained about 50 lbs. When I left him and went back around old family and friends most of them didn't recognize me. One ex didn't know who I was until I laughed. He said "Sherry" I said yes please don't say anything. It was so humiliating to show myself to people. I just wanted to crawl in a corner and die. I have been in and out of psych wards a couple of times. Anyway, as I said I live here now. Today, knowing I can never be abused again, knowing I have a lot to offer, and trying my a** off to get healthy. I have to admit I still want to feel pretty. I am making better choices in all aspects' of my life. I still struggle with self worth and am really starting to feel the loneliness set in. I am trying very hard to make more connections with people. I am a loner but, I use to be able to have the confidence to jump right in a social situation. I'll get there. As most of us in this struggle of life we have to continually adjust to THE LAND OF NOW. We are who we are. I need to accept who I am now. I have done some great things with my life and am trying to keep those in the forethoughts of my mind. My goal weight is 125lbs. I remember being that weight and picked it because that's where my body tended to want to be.
I know I had a hard time with this challenge because I have tried to learn to stay in the here and now. I am a dweller and if you live NOW you have no regrets and you get to start new everyday. I don't want to turn around and live in the land of use to.
My next blog will be about my camping trip and my first hike in 30 years!!! WOW
Saturday, May 24, 2014
As they say-What a difference a day makes. I really wallowed yesterday. I got home had two huge Bloody Mary's, 2lbs of crab legs, a pint of raspberry chocolate chip gelato, McDonald's Fish with a large fry, and a double cheeseburger from Burger King. When I got on the scale this morning I have gained 3 lbs. That's 2 weeks in a row of weight gain.
Today is a much calmer day. As I was riding my recumbent bike I decided for the rest of the day I would only have a soothing music. I got in some stretching and strengthening exercises in as well.
Isn't it fantastic we wake up and get to start fresh? Clean Slate. Yesterday gone. We can spend thinking about right now. Not tomorrow but, now. If we could just stop, take a deep breathe and think, just now,breathe,just now. Not a minute, an hour, or tomorrow, just now.
I plan on doing that JUST NOW!
Does that mean every day is day one? I might try that. Maybe I won't spend my days beating myself up for all the mistakes of yesterday.
on this Memorial Day weekend I will honor those who fought for us by honoring myself,spending time in worship and being thankful for our freedom!!
Being grateful for the chance to learn to be better everyday!!!
Wednesday, May 07, 2014
We're supposed to write about what is stopping us from achieving our goals. I think my main thing is still self sabotage. I am taking the stress challenge and doing (somewhat) the 10 steps on emotional eating. I am confident that continuing (notice) I didn't say if, to keep tracking,exercising,and being part of my teams with the challenges I have committed to the goals will happen!!!
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