40 minutes!!

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Today was a good reminder of how up and down this journey can be. After having a crappy couple of days, today I got up to 40 minutes straight jogging on the treadmill. It was actually pretty easy! I am so proud! It was also good practice. Normally I'm an elliptical junkie, but I do try to change it up and hit the treadmill every once in a while (which is seriously simplified when, like today, someone else is on the elliptical ). Next week, however, I'm heading home and won't have access to a gym for a few weeks so I've been mentally gearing myself up for jogging on the beautiful (but cold) country roads or workout videos in my tiny childhood room. Anyway, after today I feel a heck of a lot more prepared for this coming curve ball.

I also read someone else's blog on SP today talking about how the day is filled with tiny decisions and each of those decisions matter in the overall journey. That really resonated with me. I feel like I give myself too much latitude with the whole 'just this once' or 'one little slip-up' type of decision-making. I convince myself that if I've been good all day, one little bad decision isn't that horrible. I even try to tell myself that I need to be nice to myself and that means allowing these little things. It's all just a bunch of different excuses to let myself slide. And it was a really great reminder of how I should be approaching, and prioritizing, this journey.

Thanks again, SP, for having such great members!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMURFETE09 2/5/2012 8:11AM

Yay for 40 minutes! You're awesome! Report Inappropriate Comment

COCOONGIRL 2/5/2012 8:10AM

Thank you for your blog!! I really needed to read about the individual decisions make up our total journey...I need to work it the other way though...I beat myself up for the small slips and then turn that around into "well why don't I just quit"....thanks for writing your blog and reminding me that I need to make good decisions one at a time!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Reality Check

Saturday, February 04, 2012

I was feeling so great about my progress and then got a big slap in the fact. I crunched some numbers and realized that in order to no longer be OBESE as defined by the BMI scale I need to lose 18 pounds. That's a LOT! It feels like it's going to take me forever go get that much weight off. And then, to be HEALTHY I need to lose an ADDITIONAL 24 lbs.

I guess I'm just having a down few days, but it really feels like that's impossible.

Ugh.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SMURFETE09 2/4/2012 11:07AM

Don't give up, you can do it. Yes it seems like a lot, but set small goals. 1lb at a time. And you'll get there! Report Inappropriate Comment

Success!!!...and a little scared

Sunday, January 29, 2012

So all in all I lost 4.5 lbs this week. Which is FANTASTIC. And much, much better than I had even allowed myself to hop for.

But when I figured that out this morning, my first reaction was fear. I'm afraid of that much success. And not in an 'I'm afraid to realize my full potential' made-for-TV movie sort of way. I've been thin and healthy before and I am undoubtedly ready for that again. What I'm afraid of is not having this type of success week after week and then giving up when I lose less or plateau. I haven't been able to stick this out in years and I'm truly frightened that I will lose my motivation.

I think it's inevitable that my drive will wane a bit, so I need to figure out a way to keep my heart in this. Ideas, anyone?

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SBNORMAL 1/29/2012 10:14AM

I try to do it one day at at time. Report Inappropriate Comment

YDAVIS23 1/29/2012 7:24AM

Yes, I hear you. I've come to accept that I'm going to lose some weeks, but stay the same or even (gasp) GAIN in other weeks. I think it all comes back to making progress towards health. Even if you didn't lose the weight, did you increase your health? Did you do something at the gym that you're proud of? It also comes down to non-scale goals. Run a race, get into a smaller size, etc. Those things will continue to happen even if the scale gets "stuck." Report Inappropriate Comment

Erased the past year's damage (I like to think)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

My long history of yo-yo weight loss-weight gain-weight loss-weight gain seems to have been defined by where I am living in the world. When I am living in a location where I am happy and feeling at home with a good balance of work and personal life I tend to be thinner. Conversely, when I am in a particularly tough place or where work is especially difficult over the long term I pack on the pounds. I guess that's not a surprise or a groundbreaking statement given all we know about the link between weight and things like stress hormones, depression and emotional eating, but my ability to follow the lbs. around the world really backs up these theories.

So last year I was in a very difficult place and was very unhappy in many parts of my life. And I gained a bit over 15 pounds over the course of the year. That was particularly difficult because before heading over there I had worked by butt off to lost about 20 pounds over a few months when I was on break in the States (mostly through CrossFit which was AWESOME, by the way!).

I moved to my current post three months ago and after a few weeks here I realized that my weight is something I am mentally and emotionally able to tackle here. That is also when I (re)joined SparkPeople. As of today I am officially back down to the weight I was before that mistake of a post last year. And it feels really good. I still have a long ways to go but I am pretty proud today.

  

My favorite question...

Monday, January 23, 2012

So today someone in the office finally asked my favorite question in the world--"have you lost weight?"!! It made me so happy! Of course, she asked it in front of a bunch of people which made me slightly uncomfortable, but still. She noticed the difference when I thought I was the only one who could see changes in my body.

It's the little things like that that make it so much easier to keep going with this process!