My night with the Cake Boss

Saturday, November 20, 2010

(A special thank you to the security guard at the Wells Fargo Center who took this picture with his Smart Phone -- doofus here left her camera in the glove box!)

I've been a fan of Buddy Valastro since Cake Boss premiered. I always found him to be engaging and funny. I know some people think they edit the show to make him look good. I can tell you after tonight, he doesn't need any help. He radiates energy, joy, warmth and -- love. I'm sorry if that sounds hokey, but it's the absolute truth.

The show was a lot of fun. He talked, took questions (while decorating an absolutely gorgeous wedding cake, practically without looking). He had people up on the stage for competitions to see who could frost a cupcake or make a frosting flower like he could (uh...nobody). He made a stunning frosting rosebud BLINDFOLDED. And he had the audience eating out of the palm of his hand. Two extra-nice touches -- a sign-language interpreter for the hearing-impaired in the audience, and a staffer standing by the autograph line to photograph people with Buddy with their cameras. A lot of thought and care for the audience went into this show and made it even more special.

He stayed after the show to sign autographs. I'm told the line went all the way around the perimeter of the building, and it's not a small building. I can't stand for that length of time, so I sat in one of the folding chairs out in the lobby and waited two hours for my turn to get my copy of his book signed. It was worth every minute of it. When it was my turn he held out his arms and said, "Hello, sweetheart" and gave me an amazing hug. (I get one hug a week. I'll be living off of this one for a long time.) He signed my book and chatted with me for a moment. This was nearly midnight after what had to be an exhausting time for him (he's been on tour for the last several weeks).

I've loved the man on TV ever since the show premiered. It fills my heart to know the real man is even sweeter, warmer and more wonderful.

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I feel like a bad joke

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I hate myself tonight. I feel ugly, contaminated, disgusting. I just want to crawl into a hole and hide forever.

Everything I think I want to do just sounds so stupid today. Chef? Yeah, right. Knit anything for Christmas? That seems like a cop-out because I'm broke. I failed as a wife and I failed as a mother.

I don't know why I keep trying.

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What happens next

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

They're scheduling me for a uterine biopsy, probably at the beginning of December. This will probably involve some anesthesia, something I'm very skittish about. I have a consultation on the 22nd of this month to set it up. More when I know more.

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Going to the doctor tomorrow and I'm scared

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

I'm about two years post-menopause. So imagine my delight about three weeks ago when TOM decided to pay a return visit. The problem is, three weeks later he hasn't left! So tomorrow I have to go to the doctor. At my age there are a lot of things this could be, none of them good. I am NOT looking forward to this.

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Emotional week

Sunday, November 07, 2010

I'm tired from the emotional roller coaster I spent the week riding.

Wednesday was my mid-year review at work. My annual review this year wasn't great, so I wasn't looking forward to it. Besides, my upbringing has made me very leery of the words "I need to talk to you." (When my father said it, he usually followed it up by knocking my head sideways). Well, my review glowed! My boss said she's extremely happy with how I'm doing.

But here's where it gets crazy. I knew the apartment complex would be paving my section of the parking lot on Thursday, so I had to be out for 24 hours (they said there would be parking and walkways available, but the parking filled up fast and none of it was within walking distance for ME). My ex said I could crash in his spare room overnight. Well, it DID give me a chance to see my son.

But his place IS the apartment I picked out for us when we were together. I spent the entire evening listening to him talk about his new girlfriend and watching him scratch various body parts (UGH). Well, at least I got to see my son, and ex DID let me watch Iron Chef America (he usually watches World's Dumbest Criminals -- I am not kidding). I slept very poorly, since I'm a touchy sleeper under the best of circumstances. I then had to go to work after only a sponge bath with baby wipes (his shower isn't working).

I went to work exhausted and really blue. I tried so hard to make the marriage work, but he wasn't interested. My beautiful son, who should have a career and a family now, is confined to bed and can't even talk. Mr. Can't Bother To Shower has a new relationship and I'm living on fantasies because nobody will even look at me.

I should probably stop whining now.

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