Saturday, December 20, 2014
My shoulder's giving me a lot of trouble, and I didn't injure it any way I can think of. I don't know if it's from leaning on it to push when I stand up, or what. But it's really irritating.
I've become almost obsessed with sleep lately. On weekends right after breakfast I go to my easy chair and almost try to force myself back to sleep. I've even caught myself almost dozing at my desk at work. I just feel so exhausted and wrung out.
Friday we had another storm, and it was actually worse than the big storm I wrote about last week. My commute Friday morning was absolutely terrifying. As huge and heavy as my Lincoln is, you'd think it would be as stable as a rock. But it hydroplanes like a little kid's toy sailboat. I almost lost control a couple of times.
Meantime we had our office Christmas party on Friday. We have a gift exchange that involves being able to steal. I got a beautiful insulated lunch tote with snap-lidded glass container. I totally fell in love -- and it promptly got stolen. I wasn't able to get it back, and it surprised me how much that bothered me.
I'm thinking about buying myself a lunch tote like that. In the last few months I've taken to eating only one meal a day on workdays, and that's dinner. I know that's wrong, but just can't muster the energy to make breakfast or lunch -- and even dinner is usually whatever is easiest to grab. I feel like if I had a lovely lunch tote I might feel more inspired to at least pack a lunch than when I'm carrying a used grocery bag. And then I feel stupid, like I don't really "need" the tote and it's ridiculous that I feel the want. I just don't know.
Sorry. Right now I have absolutely no Spark and no spirit for much of anything. I feel like it's all a huge waste of time. I hate that I feel that way, but I'm not going to lie about it. I just don't have any gumption for anything.