Sunday, January 02, 2011
Have you ever gotten into your car to go somewhere and miss or almost miss your get-off, or turn because you are on auto-pilot to go to work? I have.
Have you ever gotten into bed and been unable to remember what you have done or been that day? I have.
Have you said things because what you say is automatic to an outside stimulus and then later felt that you could have done a better job of expressing yourself? I have.
Have you ever found yourself so overloaded that your feeling are hurt by the pressure of these outside commitments that you don't even remember agreeing to accomplish? I have.
I put something down and a second later I have no idea of where I put it. I am often going through motions of living without enjoying the fact that I am alive and able to do what I can do and think and love.
As I found myself asking these questions of myself I had to ask as well why do I care? Why can't I just laugh off the mistake of driving, go to sleep without thinking about the day, let the words fly out of my mouth without filtering, and get on with the task at hand and stop whining about how everyone expects so much of me and blah, blah,?
Well the fact that I ask these questions means that I am dissatisfied with something in my way of living. I am trying to be a person of prayer, so I want to give credit to that prayerlife for directing me to read authors that will give me direction. I have thus read some books by Father Richard Rohr and listened to some of his talks. He is promoting a concept that sounds so simple but I find difficult but very rewarding when I am doing it. The idea is that we need to live in the moment. We are capable of being conscious of what we are doing ,where we are, with whom we are relating and why.
There is much more to this, but I find that when I practice this I feel that I am more alive. As I read more and incorporate more of the concept into my life, I am sure that I will discover that living in the moment means a great deal more, but at this point in time I am working on being conscious of what I am doing at every moment. Perhaps I will at least be able to remember where I put the car keys Maybe I will be able to stop locking them in the car.
I wonder if this will help me stop unconscious eating and emotional eating?
I will see, won't I?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Yesterday I had the privilege of going out in the rain to shop with my dear daughter. As I was walking across the puddle strewn parking lot my slacks got heavier. The fact is that they were quickly getting soaked about the hem. This would not have happened three months ago, so why now? Ah, a mystery!
As I hiked my britches up to keep from stepping on them with my heals and to keep them from getting wetter and heavier as the water wicked up the fabric, I felt the cold dampness against my ankles, I have never had to endure that discomfort and I looked down to see what might be causing the dragging on the wet ground. I saw pants that looked baggy. Surprise! When one loses weight, the parts of one that push the top of the pant out is gone and the result is that the pants effectively get longer!
With the mystery solved, I went home and put the pants in the laundry. when clean, they will be donated to someone who needs pants of that size.
Oh, guess what? I get to go shopping for pants that fit me! Let me see, Goodwil?, Ross?, Kohl"s?, Walmart? ????????
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
For years I have heard it said and I have said myself: I should write a book. I now have been bothered by a book idea for some time. I say bothered because I know that there are so many books out there written by witty and talented people that the ods of anyone actually reading any book I could write are exceedingly slim. Even more, there is a deep seated fear that someone might read what I write and by doing so expose me for the fraud I know I am. What interests me, however, is the idea that writing a book is not necessarily for others to read. I am beginning to think that writing is something that deep inside of us we want and under some circumstances need to do. I don't know that I willl ever write a book, but I am walking around the idea of a chapter, maybe.
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