Monday, September 09, 2013
I am now in the fifth month of what seems like a never-ending plateau. And I am frustrated beyond the point of anger and tears. And I am SICK to death of the well-intentioned advice/truisms from friends and acquaintances, and I'm lashing out at people who don't deserve it. And I am even MORE sick of the conflicting advice from supposed experts, some of whom don't seem to have a clue what they're talking about!
Beyond that, I have lost the joy I once had for logging in here and keeping up with friends, teammates, and the community in general. Tracking food has become a hated chore. And I feel like I'm logging on more out of a sense of obligation than any real desire to be here.
I'm still really enjoying all of the fitness activities that I'm engaging in. I'm loving the runs that I do, looking forward to climbing our first 14er later this month, and hoping for nice weather throughout the fall so we can keep getting out and enjoying the mountains. But the continued focus on weight loss (or lack thereof) is really bringing down my enjoyment of these activities.
And so, I think it is time for me to take a short hiatus. I won't be abandoning all my healthy habits. I just need to stop worrying about the weight loss and tracking and all the pressure that goes with it. It's causing a lot of stress that is seeping into other areas of my life as well. I won't be gone forever. I'm most certainly not abandoning my teams. I just need some time to recharge, so that I can return with joy and enthusiasm.
I wish all of my friends and teammates luck in the coming weeks! I look forward to seeing you all again when I return!
Monday, July 29, 2013
So yesterday morning I got up and went to the Zombie Run. It was a little tough to motivate myself to go, because it was kind of rainy, but I did get my butt out the door in the end! Here's me before the run:
The three balloons at my waist represent my "lifelines." If all three get popped along the way, I don't survive.
So off we went:
The run was SO much fun... A lot of sprinting to get around and away from the "zombies" and walking until you come to the next group. I ended up completing the run in 38 minutes, but it wasn't quite a 5K as advertised (about 0.20 miles short of that). So my pace wasn't better than previous runs, but it wasn't bad. I got pretty into the whole thing and really did everything I could to get away from the zombies (without hurting anyone of course). Here's me at the finish line:
One balloon left! I survived!!!
I didn't stay too long after the race (we had brunch plans), but here are a few shots of me with the zombies and the guys from the Umbrella Corp after the race:
After the race, we had brunch with a friend and then decided to check out "Buffalo Bill Days" in Golden. The car show was going on when we got there, which was exactly what my sweetie was hoping to see. He's off to the side of this pic of a beautiful '34 Ford:
We walked around the car show and stopped by the shop of some friends of ours, who sell hot rod memorabilia and other cool car stuff. Then we went home to rest for a bit, before going out to the "Gothnic" - a picnic at the park for those in the Goth community and their families. We have several friends in this scene and it sounded like a lot of fun.
So we stopped to get some subs and headed out to the park. We had a BLAST there. The sun finally came out, and the temperature was perfect! Lots of really awesome people, including several of our friends, were there. There was volleyball and frisbee and hula hooping and badmitton and sword fighting and all kinds of awesome fun stuff. It was so great to see our friends and make some new friends. Here's a shot of me and a friend of mine hooping:
I totally loved the hooping. I may look into getting myself one!
So overall, it was a busy and active day, but we really had a wonderful time. I feel so incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful partner to share all of these things with and who enjoys being active with me! And we have some of the most awesome friends ever!
Hope others had a great weekend!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
This is kind of a follow-up to this blog: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
I had my appointment with the doctor yesterday, and I'm still pretty frustrated. First of all, her scale showed me UP 4 pounds(!!!!!), which is just utterly disheartening. [Thankfully, I'm still under 200 - I swear if I see that number again, I might just have a breakdown!] Secondly, while she confirmed that I am doing everything right, her solution was to write me a prescription for phentermine - an amphetamine-like appetite suppressant! WTF?!! Did I say I was having problems with over eating?? NO! In fact, some days I don't even make it into my caloric range!! So why in the world do I need an appetite suppresant?!
In looking at the information about phentermine, it appears there may be some metabolic benefit, secondary to the appetite suppresant. I'm really very annoyed that that was her only solution, especially after I said that I didn't WANT to be on "speed." I guess maybe I should go ahead and try the medication... I went ahead and filled the prescription after all.
Beyond that, the doctor said my thyroid levels from my blood work in April were fine and recommended that I see my gynecologist about possible hormone imbalances. I feel like I just wasted my time by going in at all. And now my gynecologist's office is telling me that I should really see someone else! ARGH!!
So hopefully, I can get an appointment with this other doctor... And actually, from looking at her website, it seems like EXACTLY what I need. She's an OB/GYN with additional degrees in nutritional biochemistry and exercise physiology. She has a separate weight loss program that seems to be pretty decent, focusing on metabolism and hormone balancing. I'm just worried it will cost a ridiculous amount of money... *sigh* I need to stop worrying about bridges I haven't even come to yet!
Anyway, the journey continues. I will keep everyone updated. Thanks so much to my friends for all of the support and encouragement! Hugs to you all!
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Last night, I got a Living Social deal for one month of unlimited group training classes with Camp MissFits for only $25. From the website, I think their focus is awesome. The website says "Plus, we know your MIND often gets in the way of you seeing the results you've always wanted in your body. We're passionate about helping you have a healthy body image as you pursue your fitness goals." I really like that statement!
Anyway, after I'm done with my yoga classes, I'll start my month at MissFits. Looking forward to a new challenge!
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
I am getting SOOOOO frustrated. After 3 months of boot camp, running 2-3 days a week, eating right almost every day... in short, doing EVERYTHING right... I am still stuck right around 195 lbs! Steve has lost almost 20 pounds since April (and he only had 25-30 to lose!) and he's not even working out! Now I know that guys lose faster than girls and all that, but it's just maddening that he's losing and I'm not, and I'm preparing meals for both of us, plus I'm working out.
I stay in my caloric range. I'm not starving myself. I'm not over-training. I feel like I'm doing all the right things, but nothing is happening. I think what's the most frustrating is having my Body Media tell me that I'm averaging a calorie deficit of over 600 calories a day (which should equate to a little more than a pound lost a week) and NADA! No changes on the scale, no changes in measurements, no measurable results!
Now, I don't really need the "don't give up" lectures or anything. I'm NOT stopping. Even if I don't lose any weight, I know that I feel better when I'm exercising and eating right. And I know all of the advice that I would give to others in this situation, and believe me, I'm following it. I know that weight loss takes time. I know that results don't come overnight, but I haven't seen ANY changes in almost 3 months! Something just isn't adding up here! I've made an appointment with my doctor in 2 weeks to go over my food logs and Body Media reports. Maybe we can figure out where the disconnect is.
So I'm taking the steps to find the problem... Really, I just need to vent! I am so mad at myself for allowing re-gain last year! I'm so frustrated that it's not coming back off! I know that I can get down to 180 and below and that I'm doing the right things to get there, so WHY isn't it working?!! It's just exasperating!
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