Where do I begin?? Life has been CRAZY since Christmas. I hurt my back over vacation time and for the last 5 weeks I have had a bad case of sciatica. I've had this condition in the past but NEVER have I felt pain like THIS before!! Unable to move, turn, bend and crawling to the toilet...it's been a nightmare for sure. So week after painful week I kept going to the doctors wanting some relief and they handed me prescription after prescription of STEROIDS.
Wow. First there was the dose pack...that didn't touch the pain...then after the first 7 days there was 14 days of 40mg of steroids. They figured stronger would be better...WRONG! I became a BEAST of a person!!
I had NO idea how crazy these drugs would make me!
Nothing helped. Nothing worked. So I went to a specialized Doctor at a pain clinic. What did this man do??? Prescribe me STEROIDS!! Along with lots of muscle relaxers!! Fun Fun. It still didn't work.
Finally I had to resort to getting a epidural steroid shot into my back!! It's been 3 days and I feel AMAZING!!!! I'm supposed to wait 72 hours before proclaiming success. But I'm so thankful for that procedure!!!
During the last month I gained EIGHT (8) pounds on those drugs!! This devastated me but then I just pushed through the last few days and decided to be positive. Since stopping the steroids on Monday, I have lost 3 pounds!! Yeah!!!
I'm so happy for all the support I've had here on Sparkpeople and I'm very thankful for Sparkpeople because it was only by being consistent, coming here daily and even if I felt like a big, fat, swelled up failure, I knew I wasn't.
Now...let's begin again!! I see SUCCESS coming my way!!
I haven't been home (Texas) in 5 years. Last time I was there was to place my father's headstone on his grave. My father died 7 years ago and it was a catalyst to my large weight gain. Anyway...heading back south to see my mother in Texas and all these emotions are starting to overwhelm me. I know people are supposed to be all excited when they go home but what happens if when you go home that is the complete opposite of how you really feel? Many, many feelings are bubbling up inside of me. I realize a lot of my emotions have to deal with grief issues. Yes, I have therapy and I think the therapy was instrumental in me turning my life around 2 years ago when I started to get healthy again. However here I am again with all the feelings RIGHT IN MY FACE! BAM!
I'd love some suggestions, if people are willing to offer them, to how to handle grief/feelings/emotionally upheaval.
Open your eyes today to the gift of God's creation! Make a point to look UP and notice and savor what you see!
"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world" Psalm 19:1-4
The beauty of creation is crying daily for you to see and to worship the Creator in response. Live life on a different level today-a HIGHER LEVEL!
This was from an email I received through a grief support class I'm involved in. I had to share it because I don't think enough of us truly see ourselves as a CREATION. We don't look up or out at our wonderful lives and appreciate that even if we are flawed, overweight, not having the "perfect" body, that we are still creations of God. I know that I don't take enough time to truly appreciate this. I spend hours on hours using negative self talk, which at the moment I'm trying to turn it around. I try and catch myself when I'm using negative self talk and then I make numerous positive affirmations for every bad thought I just thunk.
Another thing I am trying is the "ABC" game. This is where you go through the alphabet and with every letter you have to say something positive about yourself.