LADYBUG1962   26,764
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Minor Victory

Saturday, February 11, 2012

We went to Olive Garden last night has been tough, B is missing his partner and feeling alone so he has been hanging with us alot. last night he wanted Olive garden and *small drum roll* I had ONE breadstick and no salad and ate a Lasagna classico because it was within my carb range. It was hard but I am determined.

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DIBANANA 2/11/2012 6:12PM

  Good for you! I love Olive Garden and have been out of the country for 8 months and all I can think of is those rolls and salad! I hope I have your control when I get home!

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Time to Reflect

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

It has been a little over a week since Boz died and I miss him. I miss his queenly self clutching his imaginary pearls and saying in his queenly fashion "Grrrrl!" He was indeed a gentle giant and he made the world a more colorful place. There are some people who touch your life and who you think "I was ______ when he passed". Boz is one of those people. My only regret is that I put things off. I kept thinking "I need to text him to see how he is doing today!" And yet I would forget or get distracted by something. I will not do that again.

Happy Tuesday everyone, hug those close to you and let them know you are thinking of them.


Death has taught...err...reminded me..that

Friday, February 03, 2012

Has been a long week, and has been a week of looking at true value of things as opposed to assumed/implied value. And as I analyzed, thought on and looked at various things I came to a few "aha" moments. Let me share.

1. There is no such thing as too many hugs. In fact I think there should be a hug break every hour. I know it seems simple but sometimes the best things in life are simple!

2. The things in your house are just things, they don't define you they don't make you a better person. When you are gone they will still be here. Ask a loved one who has lost someone if they want the things left behind or the person who left the things I think it is safe to say they will say the person.

3. You can never say "I love you " too many times. It doesn't matter what is going on in your life. The people around you NEED to hear it. It sounds cliche but I wish I had told Boz how much he meant. I showed him with my actions (I hope) but that could have been strengthened with my words. When I pass I do not want ANYONE I care about to say "Man I did not know she felt that way about me." I want my last words to anyone I love to be "I love you!".

4. Answer the phone. "I don't feel like talking to anyone!" I admit sometimes I do that. Why? No clue, but from here on out I will at least answer and say "Hey I will call you back later ok?" if I am too busy to talk at that time. It takes a few minutes of time to share a little with someone who is important to you. Take the time now before you cannot take the time later. At least 3 different times after Boz was released from the hospital I thought "Man I should give him a quick all to see how he is doing" but I let myself get sidetracked.

5. Do not put off tomorrow what you can do today. So many times I thought "I want to text _____ to let them know I am thinking about them" And something bright and sparkly catches my eye. Then before you know it a week has gone by and I have done nothing. There is no better time then when I think it to do it (unless I am driving!)

6. We are not guaranteed tomorrows. I guess this really goes hand in hand with the above one of not putting anything off. But I think it bares repeating. I need to get out of the mindset of "I will catch up on that tomorrow" or "I will go there tomorrow". On the same lines I will look for the adventure in my life everyday. It is there. I need to capture it like a child captures the joy in hearing the first ice cream truck of the summer.

7. Your body is your temple. I think sometimes I treat our new car Maybelline better than I treat myself. No..I KNOW...I treat Maybelline better than I treat myself. I started monitoring my blood sugars actively 3 weeks ago and exercising and being carb smart. I know I have a long way to go but I want to take two seconds to say that even with all the stress/sadness this week I did not reach for a honey bun! How can I honor life when I do not honor what gives me life?

8. Get outdoors and play more. The wonder of nature has been lost. I spend more times indoors than I do outdoors. And everytime I go outside I think "I love it" I love hearing the birds sing, feeling the wind on my face. So why do I spend more time with my face bathed in artificial computer light than awesome sunlight? Camping at least 2 times is going to happen this year.

So I know this seems kind of "well duh" but I think I let myself forget. And I think in forgetting these basic prinicples we lose our sense of wonder and delight. And I am counting on friends and family to remind of these things when I lose sight of them and get lost in work or "stuff".


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLJ35 2/3/2012 8:46PM

    How right you are! And we all need to be reminded of these things frequently!
Thanks for sharing.

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Death of a loved one...

Monday, January 30, 2012

My wifes ex husband...long day maybe i will share...lost his partner last night. We are pretty sure it is due to diabetic issues, he was a big man and he was in ICU 3 weeks ago with blood suagrs in the 830's range. They discharged him and he was on insulin. he had a new lease on life and he was watching what he was eating. More than a few times the last week his sugars dipped into the 50's. B begged him to ease up on the insulin and talk to his dr. But Boz had no health insrance and thought he would be ok. When B came home last night after being gone all day Boz was dead. My heart breaks...he was 46 years old.

I ain't going to lie my heart has been heavy and I have wanted to eat everything in the house....but I have not...I am even more determined now...I miss Boz he was hysterical...I will not make the same mistakes....but damnit...this is hard.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JERSEYTAURUS 2/2/2012 7:27AM

    Glad you came here to share. So sorry for your loss. emoticon

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RAINBOWCHARMER 1/31/2012 12:15PM

    What a horrible situation. So sorry for your loss!! I hope that you are able to keep that attitude about it though - not letting the same happen to you. At least you can turn something that is such a bad thing into a potential positive of sorts. This is a good way to try to view the hard things in life, but it sure is not easy!

Blessings to you, your partner and to your partner's ex. I'm sure it's a hard time for all involved.


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LISAMARIE1138 1/31/2012 10:10AM

    Hi Ladybug, I know no words make this any easier, but please know you, your wife and family are in my thoughts. Look up to the sun, give Boz a big smile and feel his presence in your heart. Use your support network to stay on track with your diet and health. Keep writing in SP, lean on us and know you now have a special guardian angel watching over you.

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DAWNDREGER 1/30/2012 9:17PM

    Stay strong! He wouldn't want you to honour his memory by overeating, I'm sure. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort.

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The Siren's Call

Saturday, January 28, 2012

last night I went into a little grocery store and I looked at the diet dr pepper and I walked away. I swear it was like a damn siren calling me and saying"Come taste my high fructosey goodness" and "Lover come back let me caress your tongue with my sweetness". I am not sure but my body does not like the fake sugars, they make my blood sugar spike as well, so I have been drinking water water water , well except for my daily morning cup of coffee. I will work on that next!

It has been a rough week and I think next week is going to be just as demanding. All my classes start so I will begin teaching 2 next week and then the week after that 5. And it will be five classes for 15 weeks. I am going to do this I just need to be strong and continue to work out. Will be hard because when I get home I am whooped!!


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