Tuesday, August 13, 2013
I've been very depressed lately. That would surprise people who know me personally; I'm actually a friend who lifts the spirits of those around me. My depression has come from my own inadequacies and the fear that I am, by nature, worthless. I know.... sounds really dark, but it usually doesn't last too long.
Because of SP coaching today, I'm to list three things I'm grateful for. I've kept gratitude journals in the past, but seemed to get stuck on a group of things to write down and it got too repetitive. Hence it really wasn't heartfelt gratitude.
Today, however, this is what I'm grateful for:
First, my husband. He's out of town right now, but before he left, he not only did work to prepare for the interviews he'll have this week, but filled up my car, got it washed, and straightened the kitchen, which I'd left messy the night before. He welcomes me with a hug every morning and sets an example of hard work and diligence for his somewhat more lazy wife.
My home, which consistently makes me feel good. It's well designed, kept cool in this Dallas summer heat, and because of my organic gardening habits has soil that is rich and friable.
My good night's sleep. I'm trying to establish a better sleep routine, and though last night I didn't get the 8 hours that is my goal, I feel rested and ready to work today.
Those are biggies, of course. My wish is to start noticing the little things, which is my nature, but I don't remember them long enough to write in a journal. Things like the coolness of shade on my morning walks, and the pleasure of seeing plants that are healthy and well nourished. Another blog, perhaps....
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Of the "Consistency and Maintenance" group with Spark Coaches. Today we're supposed to plan tomorrow's meals, and we're leaving tomorrow on a short two-day trip for my husband's business. I know the first meal of the day will be two eggs and a sliced tomato, and dinner will be roast beef at our favorite on-the-road restaurant, so I need to be thinking about any food we eat in the car and tomorrow's supper. Yes.... supper. I'm from the Midwest where "dinner" is at noon [promptly!!] and supper is in the evening. From all the other places I've lived, "dinner" has come to mean evening meal.... but I use the term now to mean the biggest meal of the day, which adheres to both the midwestern farmland and "big city" use of the term.
You can see here my nerd-ish tendencies. Sigh....
On a totally different matter, the skirted clown to the right is the choreographer for our chorus. The other clown is her husband. Both of Becky's parents are professional clowns as well. It's fascinating to me to see the varied jobs within our chorus. We have many teachers and nurses, several attorneys, an ObGyn, a pilot.... and those are only the ones I know about. Our director is not only a world renown chorus coach, but is on the Sweet Adeline Board of Directors and, in her "off" hours.... a Nurse/Manager.
If you like to sing, look up your local chapter of Sweet Adelines and give it a try. It's another world.... and so much fun.
Monday, July 29, 2013
Goal setting is a real challenge for me. The minute I make one, I defeat myself, knowing I will not meet the goal. Consequently, I avoid goal making 95% of the time. There ARE a few I've made that succeeded, and there's a change in the way I think about it them. Mostly, it's that the goal was MINE to choose, and wasn't in response to a goal I thought I SHOULD choose.
The biggest example of this is the fact that I've actually gained about 5 lbs. the 3 years I've been on Spark People. I comfort myself with the thought that without SP, that gain could've been 50 lbs., easily. However, I'm still nagged (by whom?) with the thought that I'm supposed to be losing, not gaining weight.
My life is full of changes. Not only do we travel a lot, the nature of my husband's work (and I'm his "First Assistant"), dictates that we have weeks at a time of intense activity then time when we have no work responsibilities; times when he is gone a week at a time, and times when he's home months at a time. Given my nature that gets bored really easily with routine, this should fit in with the way I like to live my life. However, to lose weight means consistency.
We have no help, other than lawn care (and they do no weeding). No housekeeper, no exec. sec. to make reservations for us, no financial advisor. Consequently in between times of travel we have to keep up with the minutiae of daily life. We attend church services 3 times weekly, and I now once again have weekly rehearsals.
Looking at that, it feels like we are really busy, but I know it doesn't compare with others who have successfully lost weight.
I'm just writing this down, trying to get hold of what is really keeping me from losing weight, in the mental and emotional arena. At 69, I know my age is a factor, and also my sedentary ways, although I try not to sit too long at a time. None of the advice to cut out junk food is appropriate; it's been out of my life for a long time. I've never weighed over 180 lbs., so I can make the excuse that I'm just getting the grandmother pillow soft thing going.
Do I sound like I'm just making excuses? What have some of you done to get off your duff and actually accomplish something? And goal setting? How do I prevent myself from immediately branding myself a "loser" in that department? Your comments are welcome.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
After fitting in walking so well on my trip, I have yet to take a walk since I've been home. My epiphany this morning was that maybe when you have too MUCH time, it's easier to procrastinate. It's true also that the first day home (Monday), I was pretty tired but I've found that you can walk through any amount of tiredness, and feel better for it.
I also have to fight my tendency to never be satisfied. At the end of the day my mind dwells on the things I did NOT get to rather than what I did accomplish. Eating more than you need is a syndrome with lots of hidden [negative] motivations, isn't it?
More kudos to my friends who've actually lost weight. I'm healthier and more fit, but the weight is not leaving. I'm tired of being the "fat" sister in my sister photographs.
The mother of the bride is on the right, youngest sister on the left.
The first picture was not good of Cheryl. Here's one the day before, as she waited to blow bubbles at the bride and groom as they left the chapel.
Get An Email Alert Each Time LADYBUG1943 Posts