Thursday, August 29, 2013
I finally ran my first 5K! I definitely picked a great one to start. I did the ColorVibe in August 3rd. It was one of the most wonderful events I have ever attended. It was pouring rain, but we went and I honestly do not think it would have been nearly as awesome if it hadn't been raining.
That lit the fire. I am signing up for a Zombie Run in October and the Warrior Dash in May. The Warrior Dash is going to be hard, but it is a great motivation to cross train vigorously. I am so excited. Whenever I need to pump up or get motivated, I just watch a YouTube video of the course.
I have done my research and found that there are several races a each month to choose from. My friends and I are bursting with excitement to train hard and become 5K enthusiast. I would even venture to say that we have a bit of a runner's club forming. Time will tell
Sunday, May 05, 2013
It has rained just about every weekend this spring. This has certainly put a hamper on outdoor play time. I disapprove. Today is nice and sunny though, but there is a distinctly un-springlike chill in the air.
We planned on going to the renfair this weekend, but the rain took that off the table. Next weekend isn't looking so great either.
At least I am still getting in good strength training session, the only downside is, I don't really like how tedious it is to use the tracker. Silly, I know. I am going to need to increase the weight I use, I want my muscles to be jelly by the time I finish the last reps in a set. I love the burn! It makes the cool down stretches afterwards feel like heaven.
I finally showed my boyfriend my progress via the old standard of flexing my biceps. I was really afraid he would laugh at me. I was wonderfully surprised by his enthusiastic response :D That helps reinforce my sense of achievement! I am always afraid that I delusional. I still look in the mirror and have a hard time recognizing myself.
I was stretching my back before hopping in the shower the other day and froze after glancing my reflection. There were these bulges down the middle of my back. "TUMORS!" my neurotic mind screamed. Nope, I am just able to see my backbone. Yeah, its been that long. I have a hard time adjusting to all the bony protrusions I can suddenly see jutting out here and there. Collar bones? Ribs!? Vertebrae!!? Where did these come from!? Silly, I know.
And to wrap it up, I stepped on the scale and am officially rocking 160! I don't count a weight loss until it is consistent over a few days. I have now lost 82 pounds! WOOT!
Friday, May 03, 2013
Everything in life comes down to choices. You would not choose a potentially detrimental behavior if there wasn't some kind of pay off.
I have an intriguing buffet of psychological disorders that I cope with fairly well with very little pharmaceutical intervention. It has been a lifetime of trial and error to get to a good place, and there are still "Aspie Days", the occasional panic attacks, boughts of insomnia, or a thrilling week of manic overload. But I don't just survive, I THRIVE. I have faced down too much to let my junky genetics dictate the course of my life.
As is the nature of genetics, my 4 year old daughter has long displayed symptoms of AS and ADHD. She is about to be kicked out of her 2nd daycare within the last 6 months. I understand her struggle, and having been a preschool teacher, I understand their's. I won't go into a rant about how irresponsible and negligent they have been in not informing me they were at this point. They knew in great detail her developmental issues and assured me they were comfortable taking her in. I made the choice to trust them. I also made the choice to believe things were getting better, and to assume that because I was not told in a straight forward manner that she was at risk for expulsion (don't try to "hint" things at an Aspie, we won't get it).
Yesterday I was called at work to pick up my daughter and told that she only had one more chance before she would not be welcomed back. This was the first time I have ever been called to pick her up for misbehavior. I fell apart when we got home. Childhood memories flooded in and my heart broke for the struggles I know my daughter will face. I still took action, but in between phone calls, emails, and online research, there were crying spells and plenty of chain smoking. I also made a firm choice to indulge in peanut butter with a drizzle of pecan syrup with 70% spicy dark chocolate (it is VERY good). I washed it down with a glass of milk. I could have hated and berated myself for that choice. I could have psychologically punished myself for emotional eating, but I didn't. You want to know something? Emotional eating, in strict moderation, IS OK. It isn't great, certainly not! However, sometimes we need to just give in. A tub of ice cream after a break up is gorging. A modest ice cream cone is not. An entire pie consumed in the moment of misery is terrible. A slice of pie is not.
If you hate yourself after eating your feelings, you are only going to compound the problem. You will be taking the first steps to giving up. You give up pursuing health in your head long before you give up physically. When you stop liking yourself, you stop wanting good things (health, wealth, and happiness) for yourself. You don't think you deserve or can achieve it. It will all start crumbling down as soon as you start down the path of self-loathing.
Ask yourself, why? Why should you hate yourself for feeling something? Feelings are feelings, and it is ok to try to understand them, but don't belittle or demean them. Negative feelings are a wound within the heart/psyche. Not all wounds are created equal, but we need to recognize the appropriate treatment. Food has emotional links. That is just biology, no way to circumvent it. Sometimes, we need to give in to our biological programming and "feed the beast within". It isn't the emotional eating that get you into trouble, it is the lack of control when you make that choice. Would you take triple the dosage of your prescribed pain medication if you were seriously injured? Hopefully not, pain medication is good and tremendously helpful when used as prescribed. Treat emotional eating the same way. Have your "soul food" when your soul is hurting, just don't overdose.
I didn't hate myself for indulging. I did it responsibly and recognized what the consequences could be. I thought about it before making an active decision. That is another component, making the choice actively. We like to be blameless sometimes and not be accountable for our "bad decisions" or endure the consequences. Therefore, we sometimes try to take a passive role when making a choice. We may do this by letting someone else make the choice for us: "Well, he is the one who choose McDonald's for dinner, what else could I do?" Or we just allows ourselves to be subjected to the whims of our environmets: "There isn't time to cook and the kids want something to eat right now! We have 20 minutes until soccer practice. Alright, cheeseburgers and chicken nugget time." Or we make the decisions as impulsively or while as distracted as possible so that it almost seems like someone else did it: "Wow! I didn't mean to eat that whole bag of chips...I don't even remember when I grabbed them."
Don't be passive towards the choices in your life. You deserve better than that. You should treat yourself to the same care and consideration you would give to your nearest and dearest loved ones. You would not make a half considered decision that impacts their well being. Give yourself the same respect.
So I accepted my active choice, owned it, and got on with life. I made the active choice to get in a work out this morning, though it was no where near up to par with my usual routine. Then, at work, I made an active choice to participate in food day and indulge again. It was VERY much in moderation, but I didn't feel deprived or disgusted. I struck the golden balance.
I feel empowered because while I may not have made "good choices" I made active choices. I was in control. If we are all honest with ourselves, we tend to have a very ambivalent relationship with control. We want control in our lives, but not necessarily the accountability that comes with it. Start making active choices and taking control and guess what? You will be happy with the consequences because they will be the result of the power of YOU. You made something happen, good or bad (but hopefully good).
So here is to making choices and taking control. I am not a passive player in my life, don't be one in yours.
Monday, April 29, 2013
I have been in the habit of prepping my meal for the week on Sunday and it really pays off. Homemade hummus, pre-sliced veggies, portioned yogurt, 5 salads, and ready-to-go breakfasts all mean the vending machines at work don't get a dime of my money. I also add muscle milk to my morning cup of coffee at work instead of cream and sugar. I get flavor without empty calories, just lots of protein. This technique has served me well. I do look silly coming in with two lunch bags each day, but I can live with that. I am saving money and monitoring my portions and the quality of food I eat.
This weekend I went on a cooking spree. Two types of seitan, a load of hummus, skinless crockpot chicken, minted brown rice, and fresh veggies were all done up for the week. Feels good to be proactive :)
In other news, I have started walking with some friends at work. It serves as a nice energizer and gets me a little extra motion to break up the monotony of sitting all day. I have started a team for the Color Vibe 5K and that has definitely given me extra motivation to up my cardio.
One issue I am having with my workout routine is this, my weight bench is in my room. Makes sense, right? Unfortunately, when my SO stays the night, it is hard for me to start working out with him sleeping 5 feet away. I will have to be creative. Suggestions are welcomed, if anyone still reads my page.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
I have popped on here off and on, but mostly just to use the trackers and read occasional articles. I didn't have internet for an extended period of time, so my access was limited to lunch breaks at work.
Unsurprisingly, a LOT has changed over the last year or more. One thing hasn't, I have still been living a healthier lifestyle. I've officially lost 79 pounds since I started back in 2011. I am strength training, though my cardio has been spotty. I just bought a used weight bench and free weights set (all it costs was 35$! Thank you Craigslist!), and it has really helped target some more difficult muscle groups.
I've been doing the Body 4 Life program and I really enjoy it. I did overwork my quads the other day and walking was agony the last 2 days, but today is manageable. Lesson learned, moderate my enthusiasm.
My eating habits are great. I tapped into my innate love of healthy foods and ran with it. My diet is very low in animal meat, though I still indulge in the occasional steak and seafood. I prep my meals on the weekend so that it is just a matter of tossing my breakfast, lunch, and snacks into a lunch box each morning before heading off to work. I have quite the reputation there as the girl who hates cake. What can I say? I really do hate cake!
I have been seeing someone for over a year now and he has been a great supporter of my healthy lifestyle. This makes a huge difference. Though he does have a weakness for chocolate and ice cream, but given his active lifestyle and other dietary habits, it doesn't handicap him in the least. I just try to have only one scoop of ice cream to his 3 :D
My daughter is getting the role model she needs on how to live a healthy life. We eat our salads; munch on homemade hummus with celery and cucumbers; drink water and milk (absolutely NO soda and very little juice); only buy hearty whole grain breads; and keep the fast food to a near non-existent minimum. I am glad that my daughter has a taste for the wholesome things in life. We try to get as much outdoor time as possible. We visit parks about once a week and she is currently playing soccer. She has her own pair of pink 1 lb dumbbells so that she will stop trying to lift Mommy's! Tot loves to show off her muscles and run us ragged when we are on the natural trail at the park.
I wanted to list some big influences that have helped me along the way. There is a good chance I will talk about them more in later posts...assuming I don't disappear again.
1. A supportive group of friends and family. Ignore the negative nay-sayers and self-loathing sloths. There are those who want you to fail, just ignore them. I focus on my daughter, who gasps when I were a dress and tells me I am beautiful. I focus on my sweet boyfriend who puts his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug, then laughs and says, "You're shrinking!" I focus on my work chums who invite me to walk, or donate their old clothes to me because my old ones are too big. I focus on supporting those around me. Do this and you will walk tall and never hear those pesky little mosquitos who have nothing nice to say.
2. KNOW YOUR GOALS. Keeping it general won't cut it. I have created and revised specific goals with steps on how I will achieve them. This is true for any endeavor.
3. Clean Eating - it turns out I was already leaning in this direction. I strongly recommend a diet that has a strong Clean Eating foundation. You don't have to be militant about it, but I make it a focus and my body appreciates it.
4. Body 4 Life - again, this was just a structured form of what I have already been doing, but I LOVE structure, so I love this!
5. Life Strategies by Dr. Phil - yup, just read it. Do it. Do it now
6. The Psychology of Achievement by Brian Tracy - please see above
7. Lifelong Health: Achieving Optimum Well-Being At Any Age by Dr. Anthony Goodman - whew! Long title. Also a good resource in your arsenal of healthy lifestyle education
8. The SparkPeople work out DvDs - my favorite is still Fit, Firm, and Fired Up, even though some of the workouts are just warm ups for me now.
9. Body Building. Com - this is an amazing source of a wide variety of high quality, low cost, supplements. I love the NOW brand of supplements and they have everything on this site. I get almost all my vitamins and herbal supplements here.
10. Dreams - dreams and goals are different. Dreams can be limitless in their scope. Once you whittle them down and start establishing the steps to achieve them, they become goals. I think it is good to have a few dreams floating around. You don't have to plan out your entire life, leave yourself a few dreams to be pinned down once you have reached other goals. Its kind of nice to have something grandiose and untouched by reality to day dream about from time to time.
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