Saturday, February 06, 2010
Everyone's doing these so figured I would succumb to peer pressure.
A is for Age: 34
B is for Butt: getting smaller everyday
C is for Career – Receptionist who sings classical music and musical theatre
D is for Dad: absent
E is for Essential items to bring to a party: my laughter
F is for Favourite song or music: any music with an acoustic guitar
G is for Goof off thing to do: watch movies
H is for Hometown: Now: Boston, MA Childhood:Danielsville, PA
I is for Instrument you play: piano, guitar, drums, saxophone, voice
J is for Jam or Jelly you like: Grape
K is for Kids: nieces and nieces and more nieces and two nephews.
L is for Living arrangement: condo in the city
M is for Mom's name: Carol
N is for Name of best friend: Nick
O is for Overnight Stay in a Hospital: my birth
P is for Phobias: I don't like being in malls for very long
Q is for Quote you like: “Smile. You must be happy... you're not dead yet."
R is for Relationship that lasted longest: my sister and me
S is for Siblings: just my sister.
T is for Texas, ever been? no
U is for Unique trait : making up my own words
V is for vegetable you love: All HAIL to KALE!
W is for Worst traits: sometimes I get weepy and that's worse than that rare occasion when this Taurus lets her anger get the best of her
X- is for X-rays you've had: other than the required dental, my head for sinus infections
Y is for Yummy food you make: Mommy's bread and potato filling and whole wheat dark chocolate chip and walnuts Banana Bread
Z is for Zodiac sign: Taurus
Thursday, February 04, 2010
I realize I have been beyond the tipping point for some time but it's weeks like these where I really appreciate the fact most of the time I live a healthy lifestyle and prefer it. My idea of over-eating these days is having a serving and a HALF of WHOLE WHEAT Pasta with ground turkey and organic spaghetti sauce, fresh grated parmesan cheese with 2 cups of fresh spinach and basil sprinkled on it and a fresh tomato chopped up into it. Oh and my glass of Simply Orange Juice with Pineapple with it. Then following it all with 2 chocolate VITA MUFFINS with one scoop of all natural vanilla bean ice cream. LOL. Umm ... maybe more calories than I want to spend but still within the calories for someone maintaining. It's just funny how "failure" feels like "failure" no matter what and where I am at in the process and there is always that white flag moment where I want to sound the trumpet to retreat ... give up. But then, always around the corner is another moment... another chance... to start anew.
My husband's unemployment runs out in a few weeks and this stress is weighing heavily on both our minds, wreaking havoc on both our routines, and basically we have been letting it get the best of us. Last night, we did a writing exercise that really makes me feel a lot better. I had him write down as many things he could think of that annoy him. Petty annoyances it is called. Then he wrote down his top moments from 2009. I had already done this, but I had him do the same and for whatever reason it really helps you see the forest from the trees and know really what is most important to you. From there we were able to see themes important to both of us and separately. And now we can get an idea of where we want to be in 10 years and what we want to accomplish. I feel doing this before we build a new budget is important. Because then we know what we are not willing to give up. I know I am not willing to give up eating healthy ingredients, but I know we can find ways to save more and not spend quite as much as we have been spending on groceries. And it wouldn't hurt to eat a little less ;)
Anyway, we went through each of the points and are taking our time building a new vision for our lives in the future - one that is routed in what truly feels right for both of us.
This is big stuff and it's ok to not push myself right now. Maintaining is good. I am back to yoga tonight and tomorrow and then one on saturday so I will get 3 practices in this week which is enough to maintain along with some good, old-fashioned walks in the fresh air!
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I am not going to go down into despair land. I have choice over my emotional state and over my thoughts. I can turn to the positive. Just because x,y, and z are happening in my life does NOT mean I must behave and handle x,y and z like I have in the past just because that is "comfortable". I will face life on different terms now and have much more choice than I did back then!
I over-ate last night. Consciously had food I did not want to have. I drank coffee and new I wouldn't be able to sleep. I sabotaged myself purposefully. The only way out of this behavior is to acknowledge, forgive myself and move forward in a positive direction. ANY positive direction.
Today I drink water. I do not drink coffee at all. I am done with it. In fact, I don't even like it. It is bitter and does not provide my body with any nutritional substance. Neither does the cream or the maple syrup I put in it! If I am cold, I will put warm water in a cup and hold the cup. Tomorrow I will bring myself my TULSI tea to have at work so I am armed with my weaponry against coffee.
I have a therapy appointment afterwork today and I WILL go to yoga afterward regardless of the state of affairs at my home because I will feel better after 90 minutes of yoga and have a clearer mind able to make better decisions after the class.
I will make decisions when I am ready to - not before or after and I won't beat myself up over taking time to make them.
I will be kind and gentle to myself and my loved ones but to my negative, tricky mind... I'm the terminator. Negative mind... consider yourself a terminated mother f*****! (Sorry, I love that movie and couldn't help myself.) Strong minded, tough chicks unite!
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