Thursday, February 20, 2014
I have been having a difficult time at work lately with the group I am supposed to be supervising ,I won't go in to detail because , guess what? They don't deserve any more thought or time then I have already given them. Although I want to talk about anger as a motivation.
There are many kinds of anger , most of it bad but there is such a thing as righteous anger. A justifiable anger .Today I had the day off and I thought about what this situation has been doing to me mentally and physically . I have had a constant headache , I have been emotionally eating , not exercising , not logging my food , my usual spotless house is less then spotless and I have been finding no joy in my friends or loved ones,not even my pets !
I have tried every which way to solve this problem and have decided that its unsolvable .Not ever encounter you have with people is going to be good and sometimes its not fixable so how much energy are we to spend trying to fix an unfixable problem ?
The problem I have is two fold , One it is my job to fix this issue to an extent and another is I hate giving up ! I am known to be a gentle person who never loses their temper and also a funny person who can make everyone laugh but these past few months I have been neither of those at work . I have tried talking to friends about it , and one friend said " Don't let those people change who you are . " Another friend said , " If you give up you lose ." but the best advice always comes from Mr Big , my other half . I really look up to him because he is so successful in his business and also is great with people. He always tells me "Stop trying to be other people's psychiatrist.Stop trying to figure out what makes them , lazy , angry , arrogant ,what ever their problem is .Your not qualified ! " He also confided in me when I told him about my issues at work that he also had issues at his work ! . I thought no way hes always so STRONG and Forceful ! Who would even dare give him an issue ! lol. He told me that even though he is "successful" Hes not always successful in every issue and with every person. " I move on !" he said .So anyways after many , many years of supervising group workers every season and having a blast doing it , I have met my Waterloo. I told my boss I can't control them , I cant make them work , She knows it , she cant do it either. Thank God she gave me permission to give up on them and she will handle it. It took me a lot of courage to say this to her I thought she will be mad at me , she will think I am a failure even after doing this job successfully for over 15 years ! I even worried that I would be fired but guess what I wasn't . So now what the anger is still there and have to face them for 2 more weeks !
First take a deep breath , Second keep breathing ! Third do not bring it home to anyone else . Forth ,Don't carry it with me when I go to work , no looking sad or mad , No letting them push my buttons . Dont worry if they dont like me cause guess what they didnt like me when I was nice , how the heck are they going to like me now ! lol .and to take care of myself and yes be the happy funny person everyone knows ! My Gram used to say "Living well is the best revenge!" I also remember a story I read by the wonderful and awesome Patti LaBelle ,great book by the way I suggest everyone read Patti's Pearls. Anyway in this story she told about going to a function and almost getting knocked down by Madonna ! Years later she met Madonna at another function and brought it up to her. Madonna didn't even remember , I think Patti said something like " Miss Thang didnt even give it a second thought " The Moral she gave to that story was if people hurt your feelings they are not going to even remember they did it , and your only hurting yourself by holding on to it and your worth way more ! So I am working my way back on track thanks to a lot of wise people who in one way or another have given me advice , Oh and Trev yes that means YOU TOO !
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
I would just like to say that you guys really have motivated me to do better and I am so proud of US ! Each one of us has had stress and some crazy things going on this month but we are troopers !!!! Each and everyone of you ladies have been so important to me and for the first time in a long time I am sure I will make it to my goal THIS YEAR ! We have proved to ourselves that small changes work and can up our motivation level by 200 percent but most of all we have each other ! GO BUDDY GIRLS ! We are on Fire ladies !
Thursday, January 23, 2014
I am trying to use everything Spark People has to motivate me to reach my goals both in weight and fitness and other areas too. So I have been saving up to get my Spiritual Dream house and today I got it ! This picture represents to me what I want in my life , warmth , uncluttered , rather simple yet elegant , the out doors ,Plenty of chairs for friends and family to fill. It is just a representation of how I want to feel inside and look outside .
Monday, January 20, 2014
I have been listening to the song 'My Immortal' by Evanescence. this song for most people reminds people of a lost love or a person close to them that died .
When I hear it, it reminds me of someone who changed me , who made me afraid . A person who still lingers in my head .
I have heard that forgiveness is the key , but how does one get from point A to point B .The other night when talking with my friend who's daughter is going through a very hard time , I said to her without thinking about my situation .
"She can't move on and rebuild her life or forgive her ex if she's carrying around how he treated her in her head every moment ."
Isaiah 43:25 says ""I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."
Blots out your transgressions for my own sake.......and remembers your sins no more...Yes for my own sake.
So heres a few words for you Ghost .
I wont hear your voice in my head anymore ,
Your not going to tell me if I try something new I will fail.
Your not going to tell me if I get thin again I will be a tramp ,I was thin before I met you , I wasnt a tramp then I wont miraculously turn in to one if I lose weight'
Mr Big is nothing like you , I will not suspect him of being like you every time he is late or disagrees with me about something. After all these years with him , I will finally stop waiting for the moment when I am sure he will turn in to a monster like you .
I havent forgiven you yet , but I am working on it and forgiving you will be the best thing I can do for my own sake. When I forgive you , I wont hear your voice anymore , you wont have any power over me and you will be exorcised . I really do wish you happiness Ghost , because if you do become happy then maybe you will stop and finally for once in your life feel contentment and peace because I know you are not a happy person .
I am saving up my goodie points to buy myself a symbolic house That house wont have any ghosts in it !
Monday, January 06, 2014
I have been thinking about making a play list just for exercise but I thought why not add a little twist to it ! Instead of just downloading songs that inspire me , why not add some of my Spark friends favorite songs ! Not only will I get some great music to exercise too but think of my Spark friends while I am doing it !
So come on dish ! Whats your favorite theme song and whats your favorite exercise song ? Are they one and the same or different ?
My theme song is Stronger by Kelly Clarkson .
and my favorite exercise song is
Wiggle in the middle by Willie Clayton ,
Such a funny song and I try to do the moves as he sings it , I should call it giggle in the middle ! no no no I know what your thinking but I will not say Jiggle in the middle thats what I am trying to lose !
Please take a moment to leave your song so I can make a play list ! Thanks !
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