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First Consultation Completed

Monday, January 06, 2014

At the end of 2013 I was at a point of desperation so I reached out to someone and asked for help with my binge eating, nutrition and workouts. Today I had my first consultation and it was an eye opener. We covered the basics ... the who, what and where and the down and dirty of my habits in the gym and in the frig.

Here's the highlights:

My binge eating is my body reacting to a too restricted diet aka calorie intake. I average about 1,500 calories daily and for a year on a clinical supervised plan I was at about 1,000 calories a day. My binge episodes may not be related to a "now" eating disorder but again, my body adjusting to the too few calories. If left alone it COULD turn into something more that could require doctors supervision.

Recommendation: Eat MORE. Based on height/weight and daily activity that I eat at minimum 2,000 calories daily and actually try to go as high as 2,500. This was SHOCKING! BUT, she is the first person to EVER address my calorie intake. Equally shocking - I know.

Not only will this help with the binging but it will help my metabolism too.

Food intake: I generally weigh/measure my foods and I track foods on My Fitness Pal.
Recommendation: Do this "for now." This will be the only accurate way to know what I'm consuming and in what quantity. We assessed my carb/protein and fat intake and she wants me to increase my "healthy" carbs and lower the fats.

Workouts: I walk a lot and I workout at the gym. Gym workouts are 30 minutes long and involve cardio and weights.
Recommendation: Do it! She is a huge supporter of walking and couldn't stress enough that I keep that up. She liked that fact that I wasn't in the gym "killing" it everyday for long periods of time as she doesn't believe - for the average person - that it's sustainable.

The thirty minute session went by FAST but we covered a lot of ground. She does one on one sessions like this at request and fee. She asked that I try to implement her recommendations as to nutrition for a month as the body needs to adjust. She recommended that I stay off the scale as my body adjusts too. I can email her if I have questions/concerns at no charge. In a month I'll ping her to do another consultation to see how things are progressing.

It was a relief to talk to someone about all of this and have a different perceptive.

I feel a sense of relief all over.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 1/22/2014 5:15PM

    Don't know why your new blog posts aren't popping up in my feed?

but anyway, happy for you to get this help - sounds like a good plan to me!


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 1/6/2014 2:27PM

    That sounds FANTASTIC! I'm so glad you got answers and some guidance. I wish we had something like that around here. Everything costs an arm and a leg.

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Discovering -binge eating and compulsive overeating

Monday, December 02, 2013

I've been exploring binge eating disorder for sometime now. I've known for years that I have a problem and I've been able to "manage" it over the last few BUT I still need to come to terms with it and likely ask for some professional help.

As an adult I have flashes of my childhood ... as far back as age five I was binge eating. I remember the shame that would come over me when my mother would confront me about wrappers she would find or foods that were missing. Even to this day when she says, "oh I remember when ... (insert story)" I cringe uncontrollably and want to scream.

Outside of SP I haven't really talked about it. Again, shame plays a huge roll in that. However, this year I made efforts to put it into words and share what I have going on with others in my life. I find that many are stunned into silence while others try to ask "the right questions" and still others nervously move away from the subject. I believe talking about it helps but only in part. In the end, what I'm trying to do is shine a light on it so I'm not living in the darkness.

Over the holiday weekend I did my best not to let food control me. I did well. Although I did have a moment alone with the GIANT apple pie. When the Mr wen to get a piece he looked at me stunned and asked ... what happened to the pie. I puffed up a bit and announced ... I ATE some - why? Quietly he inquired about the when because we had been together all day and evening. I walked away thinking ... well yes, but you did take a shower. *sigh*

Thursday we have someone coming to stay with us for the next four months ... which is a story for another blog. Want to know my biggest worry ... my binge eating. I have a lot of alone time now but with someone else underfoot my me time will dwindle to near nothing. In the past when my me time has disappeared I've felt out of control in my mind, short tempered and anxious because I can't *secretly* binge.

No one in my personal life judges me for my actions/reactions but they are concerned. I judge myself harshly and my binges are a problem. Then! on top of all that I worry about putting the weight back on (125 lbs) due to the binges so I HAVE to workout.

The workouts actually help. I enjoy physical movement and getting all hot and sweaty. I've been telling myself to use my gym time or walks to counterbalance my frustrations while our guest is here. I'm hopeful!

I broke my long standing no gym time on Monday's today. It felt great to go and use the arc trainer. I've also started using my Mio heart-rate monitor to get an accurate burn rate. I'm looking forward to using it during circuit training class ... I anticipate a large burn during that 30 min. class. Trainer Janet saw me there and I have to say she is a huge inspiration to me and we communicate via social media which helps me.

Here's what I have found in my research re: Binge Eating

Signs of binge eating disorder:
Ask yourself the following questions. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you have binge eating disorder.

Do you feel out of control when you’re eating?
Do you think about food all the time?
Do you eat in secret?
Do you eat until you feel sick?
Do you eat to escape from worries, relieve stress, or to comfort yourself?
Do you feel disgusted or ashamed after eating?
Do you feel powerless to stop eating, even though you want to?

*I answer YES to every question listed above.

Behavioral symptoms of binge eating and compulsive overeating

Inability to stop eating or control what you’re eating
Rapidly eating large amounts of food
Eating even when you're full
Hiding or stockpiling food to eat later in secret
Eating normally around others, but gorging when you’re alone
Eating continuously throughout the day, with no planned mealtimes

Emotional symptoms of binge eating and compulsive overeating

Feeling stress or tension that is only relieved by eating
Embarrassment over how much you’re eating
Feeling numb while bingeing—like you’re not really there or you’re on auto-pilot.
Never feeling satisfied, no matter how much you eat
Feeling guilty, disgusted, or depressed after overeating
Desperation to control weight and eating habits

*Everything listed above describes me.

10 strategies for overcoming binge eating

Manage stress. *I'm constantly trying to do this*
Eat 3 meals a day plus healthy snacks. *I do this ... it doesn't help me*
Avoid temptation. *temptation is EVERYWHERE*
Stop dieting. *I have*
Exercise. *Always*
Fight boredom. *I'm constantly trying to do this*
Get enough sleep. *Oh Yes!*
Listen to your body. *Always*
Keep a food diary. *on and off ... it helps but I can't imagine doing this for life*

I'm looking forward to the next chapter(s) in life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 12/14/2013 12:11PM

    Don't have time for an in-depth comment, but I know EXACTLY where you're coming from darling! When I get fixated on absolutely having X, Y, or Z it crowds every other productive thought out of my head...

emoticon emoticon

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MANLEYSANDY 12/3/2013 5:19PM

    All the things you are doing to try and overcome binge eating are great and are great tools. The real hard part is getting in touch with those feelings or issues that come up that make you want to turn to food. There was a reason you needed at that moment to dig into the pie, a feeling, a worry, a concern, what was it, and what made eating seem like the answer? In one of the books I have read recently, the author suggests that when keeping your food journal, also jot down what feeling you are feeling at the time you eat. I did it and I was surprised at how often hunger was not what I was actually feeling. Often it was boredom or frustration. Not real reasons to eat. It is a tough journey to be on and I know your pain and frustration. The key really is taking each day as it is, and really getting in touch with those pesky feelings!

Hang in there!

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LAGUNAMAMA 12/3/2013 12:20AM

    I think the 'feeling stress or tension that is only relieved by eating' is the one that no matter how hard I try, how many strategies I utilize, I CANNOT figure out how to deal with appropriately. I too, exercise every day, try to eat healthily instead of diet, eat meals and not deprive, listen to my body, etc., but there are days, whole days, where I can feel *it* and I can go hours and hours and do everything I can think of to overcome it- fill my day with activities, run an extra mile, have a small amount of a decadent dessert in the company of my family, drink cup after cup of tea, etc, and the MOMENT I find myself alone I will binge. It feels absolutely inevitable, like trying to ward off an earthquake- literally a fools mission.
How do you feel about that one?

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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I'm a bit frustrated ...
Okay A LOT frustrated.

Instead of diving head first into a vat of chocolate and peanut butter or an XL pizza I'll blog it out and then be done. Okay, maybe not done but I'll feel better.

The gym I workout at allows me to bring a guest everyday, twice a day, once month or once a year ... basically if I'm in the gym my guest can be there too. SOOOO, I offered this to my workout friend that works down the street with me. I never asked her to help me with my gym membership but to simply show up and workout on the days we schedule to do so. It appeared to be a win win situation. UNTIL it is not.

We generally attend a class of five that is lead by Trainer Janet on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. I LOVE the class but if I can go workout during my lunch hour with Trainer Janet I would do so. To accommodate my friends schedule we go at night these two days. UNTIL we don't.

Today, at 3:00 p.m. I received a text message saying she couldn't make tonight. I was already having a hard day and that text just hit me wrong. She made choice to NOT workout and waited till later in the day to tell me which tossed me into a mind freak. It was too late to workout at lunch ... I'd already taken one and I don't relish in the thought of going there after hours. Yup, color me angry and having a bit of fit. It happens. Feel what you feel! Call a thing a thing!

I've become comfortable "waiting" for someone to workout with and that has become destructive. From now on, I'll be heading to the gym when I feel like ... not when it fits their schedule. Lunch time workouts fit ... I'm in and out ... and I get home at a reasonable hour. Done and Done!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 11/29/2013 11:10PM

    I hear ya babe - over the yrs I have found that lunchtime is the only consistent time that works for me...
I've also learned not to depend on gym buddies I'm afraid!!!
emoticon emoticon

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PANDASUE2 11/21/2013 7:57AM

    I had a gym "buddy" that was like this too. Would plan with me to go and then cancel, or not even cancel, just not show up. ALL THE TIME. After not hearing from him for two days straight I just said screw it... and went on my own. Still going on my own months later and when I saw him the other day, he had REALLY put on the pounds. Gotta do what we gotta do!

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POSITIVELY_ICAN 11/20/2013 1:42PM

    She can get her own gym membership now. I haven't seen a friend of mine since I worked out with her and she poked me in the belly and told me to "suck it in" like she was disgusted with me. I still love her but can't get past that poking.


We're better off on our own I suppose

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MANLEYSANDY 11/20/2013 10:47AM

    I am glad you blogged it out, tt does help! Working out with people can be good and bad, I know, so do what is best for you because your health and wellness is what is important...

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 11/20/2013 7:38AM

    I hear ya! I have a friend that was "supposed" to be working out with me, and she'd ALWAYS cancel last minute. We never worked out until after work, but it's still SUPER frustrating to have to change plans like that. I'm glad you've got your own plan and you aren't letting this get the best of you!

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STEVEN_D 11/19/2013 8:52PM

    Don't let others determine your happiness, is what I am hearing. Do what you do because of you. No one except you can fulfill your needs.

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NACHTSKAI 11/19/2013 8:05PM

    I am with you on this one - it's your health that's on the line not hers. You should do what is comfy for you and what fits into your schedule. I would love to have someone offer to pay for my gym membership. Keep going forward one step at a time my friend.

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Dirty Girl Mud Run (with Photos)

Monday, October 28, 2013

Before I get into the race details I want to send out a big THANK YOU to my SP friend HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE for responding to my distress call and encouraging me to go to this race. Thank you Holly ... in a moment of insecurity and self doubt you reached out and help me accomplish what I started.

Race Time!

I initially thought I'd be doing this race alone ... ends up that my Mr and my workout partner came along. This was the FIRST race the Mr came to witness ... I think it had something to do with the mud, LOL! My workout partner found a groupon that allowed an affordable entry fee for her. YES!!

Saturday morning was cold ... like see your breathe kinda cold! We arrived at the race site around 7:30 a.m. and quickly got our packets. The race organizers were fantastic, along with all the volunteers.

The Mr armed with is smartphone walked the course to take candid photo's ... we had our on paparazzi. In the event that he might not be able to get to all the obstacles I brought a one time use camera and had it in a zip-lock baggy. He made it to all the obstacles and in the end he used the camera when his phone battery died.

This race was fun, fabulous and yes DIRTY! We headed out in one of the early waves but forgot to make note of when we actually crossed the start line. The race isn't timed so we didn't much care ... it was more about the experience and the laughs.

I think the photo's tell it best:

A clean girl

Me and the Mr

Me and Christina showing the universal "help" sign

Let's go!

We bounced and giggled our way to the bottom. What fun - I felt like a little kid again!

A perfect landing.

Welcome to the Pit! The water/mud was extremely cold.

I never thought I'd do this in a million years ...

The H2O tank

I made a BIG splash! Loved this one ... I zoomed down sooo fast and oh my did I giggle.

SCARY!!! This might look like an easy one but it scared me to no end. That wall is TINY and my hands were slippery. Scary... Scary... Scary...
BUT, I made it up and over!

"HEY, LOOK AT ME I'M At the top and ringing the bell!"

Still smiling!

We donated our shoes ... they clean them and give them to those in need

Dirty then Clean.
The cleanup area was great. If you don't like public "women only" nudity it might be a bit stressful for you. I'm not shy so I was cleaned up in no time.

We do have photos of us crossing the finish line but they are on the one time use camera. The Mr did a great job capturing the moments.

This was the best time ever!! We laughed and giggled the whole way through. The Mr skyed a friend of ours in Jamaica so she could see too. FUN!

We were happy to have been one of the first waves ... the lines later in the morning were crazy. We didn't wait at all. This was one of the best organized races I've ever attended.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/29/2013 7:25AM

    Thanks KT, and I KNEW you'd LOVE it! I can't believe how empty your course was. I guess it pays off to get there early ;) I'm sooo glad you did it, and I'm REALLY glad you had someone to do it with. Best time ever, right?!? WooHoo, check that off the list, now on to something bigger, lol! Congrats girl, love ya!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FULLFIGUREDGAL 10/28/2013 10:18PM

    OMG...congrats on doing it! I would love to do a mud run like that! Thanks for posting pics, it really helped enjoy the experience you wrote about it! emoticon

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MAGGIE805 10/28/2013 9:41PM

    Love it! Looks like so much fun. emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 10/28/2013 6:03PM

    Cool pix!

Congrats on going through with it.

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ENDUROVET 10/28/2013 5:50PM

    Wha-wha-wha-WHAT??!!?? Public-women-only-nudity? What, was there a "locker room" area to shower off?

Remind me to tell you about my favorite self-indulgence, the Korean sauna...

But good job - I'll have to do something similar one of these days...


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LADYBUG546 10/28/2013 1:59PM

    Looks like a lot of fun. Great times emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 10/28/2013 1:42PM

    Looks like you had a very fun time! So happy for you! Keeping this journey real and fun is what it is all about. emoticon

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Something new

Monday, October 21, 2013

I've decided to try something new and it's a bit scary.

Many of my waking hours are spent thinking about food and what I should and shouldn't consume. Admittedly, it gets exhausting. It can also feel very confining. I've been on this journey since 2006 ... yes it's been that long. A lifestyle like so many others, it has comes with pot-holes and rainbows alike. Sometimes I rejoice. Sometimes I kick rocks. It really depends on the day or rather the minute.

I've not been concentrating on the scale of late. The numbers are fluctuating and that can just be exhausting. My clothes are comfortable and I've purchased a few smaller sizes. I've also noticed a pair of my 16 jeans are bit more snug in the waistline. I took note of that yesterday - they are fine when I stand but restricting when I sit.

All that being said I've decided to insert a high calorie/carb day into my life. My first one was on Saturday ... it was enjoyable but I need to tweak the mindset. Such as ... I don't NEED to eat it just because it's there and that I have permission to do so. A few treats throughout the day are fine but I don't need to go over the top. As I said, I enjoyed the carefree feeling and I enjoyed every bite!

Sunday I got up and returned to regular scheduled programing. A high protein breakfast, lots of water throughout the day, a protein spinach drink and a sensible dinner.

Some may wonder why it's scary to add this into my routine ... well, as a person who is prone to binge eating I have to still be mindful of what I'm eating. This is not a day to let things get out of hand but rather enjoy a sweet and/or salty treat I may have passed up during the week.

I also have an appointment with one of my doctors to discuss a blood test that will reveal which foods I may be intolerant too and/or allergic too. I already have a list ... soy, dairy and gluten but I know there are more. The test is expensive so I'm hoping for a favorable payment plan. Once the results are in I'll be adjusting my diet again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 10/28/2013 5:53PM

    The month of October (hell, Sept also!) has not been a good one for me...

I'm still awaiting my 23andme genetic test results which hopefully will help me iron out important nutritional q's such as gluten/dairy sensitivity.

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TRENTDREAMER 10/22/2013 1:52PM

    Carbs are really scary in general when losing weight. Even healthy ones can add up real quick.

Best of fortune to you on it all.

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KENSINGTON5 10/21/2013 5:28PM


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BRYANBABY3 10/21/2013 4:32PM

    I have been told it is good to have a splurge day once a week and that it actually aids in weight loss. But like you said not go over the top.

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