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Crossing Over to the Other Side (Part 2)

Friday, June 21, 2013

Part 2

The day before the movers were to show-up the Mr and his childhood friend from Jamaica headed off on a road trip to South Lake Tahoe. Through a college program in Jamaica she is able to be placed in various places during the summer to work here in the U.S. This trip brought her to our neck of the woods. Yup, worst timing EVER but I was secretly happy she arrived as the Mr was beaming with joy. This was the first visit from anyone back home.

With the two of them out of the apartment I got busy with the final packing. Of course, at this point I threatened to put it all in the backyard, toss a match and let it burn. O_o

A friend of mine came by and unmounted our television from the wall and then mounted it at the new place. Even though I offered to pay him his hourly rate he refused and said to call the next day if something came up. What a sweetheart ... he saved me $300 by doing this. Yup, Best Buy was going to charge me that much to do the same thing. I'm still trying to figure out a thank-you gift!

The cable guy installed cable/phone/internet that afternoon. It took HOURS. Although he was a nice enough guy I just wanted to be quick and easy ... it wasn't but he got it done so I was thankful.

That night, I took all four of the furry ones to the new place. Their anxiety levels were off the charts and my insides were twisted with concern. I stayed with them for hours at the new place but not much I did reassured them that all would be okay. The babies were fine, they took it as one big adventure so played and played in all the open space. Our two older boys were temporarily traumatized. The vet said they'd be fine as long as some of our stuff was in the new place and we spent a bit of time with them prior to leaving them overnight. Ya, I'm not sure her meaning of "fine" is the same as mine. In the end, they made it.

The day of the move I was up EARLY. Early enough to go out to pick up a cup of coffee and come home and have a hot breakfast of scrambled eggs. I was determined to eat healthy through this process and I would need all that protein too.

Throughout the years with the office and my bosses personal moves we've always used Delancey Street Movers. Knowing they are the best, I too hired them for this move. Delancey Street is a nonprofit organization that helps individuals help themselves find a better path in life. Here's a link if you are interested in learning more about the foundation. I can't say enough good things about them and the crews I've had the pleasure of working with over the years.

www.delanceystreetfoundation.org

True to form, my crew showed up an hour early. HA! I was completely ready to go. They were thrilled that I had reserved parking for them on the street too. Many people don't know that can be done and is more cost effective than paying for tickets. We finished the preliminary paperwork and walk through in record time after which they got busy. Here's where it gets awkward for me - standing around as they do all the work - it just not in my nature. Loading up was the easiest part - I lived on the ground floor so they didn't have stairs to deal with and everything but the two floor lamps were boxed. Plus I used manageable sized boxes that didn't weigh 1,000 lbs each.

After they finished loading it was time to head to the new place. I found my furry ones doing well. The older boys were still stressed but nothing had been torn up or "marked." I was able to love on them prior to the movers showing up which made us all feel good. Luckily there is a small room off the kitchen that I kept them in during the move.

After the walk through they started loading in the boxes and furniture. It was all going smoothly UNTIL it was time for the couch. My initial concern about the banister was soon forgotten as the couch fit up the stairs just fine but getting it in the door was another story. Here enters my second panic attack. Our couch has a sofa bed it so it's heavy which didn't seem to phase the guys but it wore them down when they had to twist, turn, flip and take it up and down the stairs multiple times. I had no backup plan if it didn't fit so I paced and nearly got sick - my stomach was in my throat. The couch is relatively new - less than a year old so we wanted to keep it but not have to store it.

After many failed attempts, they got to work on taking the feet off - that was a job too. At this point their boss at home base called my cell phone to check on progress (crews are not allowed to carry cell phones on the job). We chatted and then I gave the foreman the phone to which he said, "at the moment I'm getting my butt kicked by a couch." Then there was silence, a few huh's and then he hung up. He looked at me and repeated the message from the boss - "breath and it will come to you." At that moment I could have cried ... such a simple message - a message for life - and this man standing in front of me said, "don't worry I won't leave here until your couch is in your new apartment. I promise you that." An hour after the battle started they put my couch down in the living room. When I mentioned that anyone else would have simply given up their heads all snapped and the foreman responded with, "we've given up too much in life, we don't take the simple or easy way out anymore - that's not who we are." SERIOUSLY!?! I just wanted to put him in my back pocket and keep him.

The move took longer than anticipated and it cost A LOT more than I thought it would but I was prepared and it was worth every penny! Before they left one of the crewmen asked about the cats and commented that they didn't get to see them. Another one asked about their names and instantly knew the Irie was a Jamaican name. It was one of the sweetest things ever!! In the end, they both came up stairs so they could get a peak at them.

After they left I laid down on the floor and just took a minute to actually breath and to take in what had just happened. It was over and I was officially on the other side. It didn't even matter if I was surrounded by boxes and that I wasn't real sure where the bed linens were ... I had made it.

Now that I had made it to the other side there much to do. What comes next? The cleaning of the old and the unpacking of the new. Where was I on my wellness journey? Had I lost? Gained? Maintained? Stay tuned ... Part 3 has answers and so much more.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 7/1/2013 8:29PM

    Wow! I really appreciated your anxiety over the deposit, etc, in part one..exactly the kinds of things I would worry about! And your big decision and the leap of faith that you took to make the move happen. Amazing! I am so proud of you. Big life decisions are sooooooo hard to make. Your furries will be great in no time, I am sure of it! It sounds like you give them lots of love and attention, and how wonderful of you to think of their needs as well. Great work sticking with a healthy eating plan! I am looking forward to part three! emoticon
ps thanks for the encouraging comment on my blog! emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/1/2013 8:30:30 PM

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ENDUROVET 6/29/2013 10:37PM

    I have no intentions of moving until I'm too old & frail to saddle my own horse ;-)

My hat's off to ya darling - I HATE MOVING!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon
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TRENTDREAMER 6/22/2013 10:49AM

    "When I mentioned that anyone else would have simply given up their heads all snapped and the foreman responded with, "we've given up too much in life, we don't take the simple or easy way out anymore - that's not who we are."
* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...men!!

Loo
k forward to part 3.

Really happy that the move got completed ok.

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Crossing Over to the Other Side (Part 1)

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

So much has happened in the last few weeks that my head is still spinning.

After ten and half years in the same apartment - five of which were spent with the Mr living there - it became clear a change needed to happen when I started feeling trapped and like I was suffocating.

Change may be constant but darn it, it's scary! I'd built a life in my small community and this home was the only one the Mr has known after his immigration to the U.S. Yet, I was determined to move forward and find a bigger unit, within our price range, in a safe neighborhood and near public transportation. That IS a tall order when you live in the bay area but I was determined and I kept repeating my criteria over and over again. THEN it happened, the universe responded.

Nestled in Old San Leandro is a small 10-unit complex that is a flash back to when they knew what character meant and people didn't want to live inside a box. I was the first to respond to the add and we were the only couple to see the unit. The others kept asking about it, setting up appointments and the cancelling the appointments.

The Mr's first reaction to the place ... I don't like it. WHAT?! Unable to actually communicate his emotions a small war began. I took my best friend down the next night to view the place to make sure I wasn't making up the fabulousness of the place and she confirmed what I was feeling - it's fabulous! With 24-hours of the Mr seeing the place his mindset had changed and he was all in. The adverse reaction came from being scared of change, moving to an unknown area and leaving the only U.S. home he'd ever known. Well, now, that's completely understandable!!

Within a four days we had inked the lease, slapped down some cash and the apartment was deemed ours. Confetti did not fall and there was no happy dance on my part though. I went into complete panic mode. I silently worried about EVERYTHING! My worry and paranoia ranged from maybe the property manager wasn't who she said she was and I was giving the wrong person deposit money and the apartment wasn't really ours and progressed on to what if the NEW couch doesn't fit up the stairs and in the front door.

I had a panic/anxiety attack one night about the couch that nearly sent me over the edge. I finally had to go to bed to shut down the madness in my brain. When I finally talked to the Mr about the situation he initial was upset about the prospects of the couch not fitting but we then came to the same conclusion ... it's a couch - nothing more nothing less.

The packing started out strong. Having moved my office and boss a number of times I had access to boxes and I used every last one of them and then some. So much stuff! I purged and donated as I packed but we still have too much stuff. I'll deal with that soon enough.

The property manager was gracious enough to give us keys the weekend prior to our actual lease date. This was great because I moved all my kitchen items over prior to the big move and setup the kitchen. I have A LOT of kitchen items that are put to use everyday due to the fact that I cook almost every meal. Eating out for us is a true treat.

While all this was happening I was on the phone constantly with vendors etc to change addresses and services. That's a job in and of itself! To stay organized I started a notebook that has saved the day more than once.

The Mr moved most of his clothes over prior to the big move. Again this was to help save money when it came to the movers time. Plus, he needed something to do! :)

With all this madness happened we had an unexpected house guest arrive from Jamaica. The Mr hasn't had a friend or family member come visit since he moved here five years ago and then two days before the movers were to show up a friend was suddenly at our front door.

Plus! We adopted the foster fur babies. Lilly and Tuff joined our family which made us a house of six. A little crazy but I can't imagine life without them.

What's next? Well, the move of course and yet another panic attack and so much more. Stay tuned for Part 2.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 6/20/2013 9:23PM

    Congrats on the move. 10 years is a long time, and moving always presents so many possibilities for potential problems, even without random friends, conflicts and kitty cats.

Look forward to part 2!

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MANLEYSANDY 6/20/2013 11:59AM

    Congrats on the move...it sounds like a fabulous place!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/19/2013 9:09PM

    Congrats on the move, sounds like things are working out. *HUGS*

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THOMS1 6/19/2013 8:33PM

    emoticon Congrats on your new place. Moving is such a chore and I know what you mean about too much stuff. We lived in a 5 bedroom for over 30 years and when we decided to down size I donated donated and donated some more and that was after the kids went through and took everything they wanted. Hope the move goes smoothly. emoticon

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So it begins ...

Thursday, June 06, 2013

When faced with life changes I can either bend or break. I can either be overwhelmed or I can learn to deal. Over the past two weeks I've found myself taking a moment or two to take a deep breath and center myself. It's either that or the anxiety will overwhelm me.

Here's what's been going on:

Moving.
Yup, we got the apartment we looked at. Packing, purging and general maintenance is happening. Plus, coordinating the installation of new utilities and extras and cancelling the old. Arranging for movers and parking permits oh my! Without my notebook of dates, times, vendors etc I'd be lost and completely running in circles.

I've been in the same apartment for over 10 years and it's the only home the Mr has known since moving to the states 5 years ago. It's a big move for the both of us. Well, all six of us ... the fur babies go where we go. :)

I decided to do the move in phases, three of them. Phase one is complete. I moved a large piece of furniture to a friends apartment and took her large piece to the consignment store. A win, win for everyone. On both ends of that move random men happened to be walking by and asked if they could help. Yes, please.

Phase two starts this weekend. We get to take possession of the new place a few days early so I'm moving in the bulk of my kitchen stuff over the weekend. One because I want to set up the kitchen as quickly as possible, two it will free up boxes and three I want the movers to utilize their time with the big stuff. Boil it down and it's really because I want to save money by doing some of the moving myself. There I said it ... ;)

Phase three happens a week from today when the movers show up. I'm not ready for them yet. O_o

The other happenings ... the Mr and I were fostering baby kittens (Tuff & Lilly) after the Mr found them in a box on the roadside. They were four weeks old then ... now they are eight weeks. I say "were" because Sunday I inked the final paperwork to adopt BOTH. We now have FOUR cats to which I was originally opposed to but my heart melted with each minute spent with the new babies. PLUS my older cats took to them within a day or two and are now overly protective of them. Anyway, the adoption fees were waived over the weekend so the shelter processed our paperwork. There were lots of happy tears that day! All my little ones have been rescued after being left outside by their previous owners. A lady at the shelter got teary when I mentioned we are a household of adopted and abandoned creatures - meaning all 6 of us. We have a colorful history!

Pending house guest is arriving the day before the move. Now how did this happen? *SIGH* A childhood friend of the Mr's is flying in from Jamaica to spend one night at our place and then he'll drive her 3 hours East to where she'll be working for three months. Her arrival date has been a moving target which doesn't make me very happy and gives the two of them anxiety.

Next is the Mr's "food program." OH MY! I'm not a fan of it nor am I a fan of the person who "sold" it to him. HOWEVER, he has been on it for over a month now and has found results, eats differently, feels better and promises to stay away from the craptasticness he used consume. Even though I don't like it I have supported him the best I can ... buying and cooking what's on the page and checking in with him regularly about it. He's lost over 20 lbs in the first month and now believes I should try it. No Thanks! The benefit to me is that we no longer have foods in the house that make me want to binge.

Anyway. My wellness journey has continued through all of this. I started taking my thyroid medication and I believe it's helping. I'm told it will take about a month for it to get into my system fully so I wait and see. I'll retest in July to make sure I'm on the right track or if the dosage needs to be adjusted.

Oh I forgot to mention ... Saturday I have a 5K race in the morning AND that afternoon I get to move stuff. It's gonna be a busy AND exciting day. This will be my 4th time participating in this race so I don't get all jittery prior. The only change this year is that I'll take the public bus to the start line instead of driving or having someone drop me off. This morning I made sure I had all my clothes for the day of race ... I thought I had packed them already. HA! Tonight I pickup my race packet.

One of the big things that will change with my move will be my workouts with my fitness friend. We're still trying to figure it all out. Of course, of late she's been cancelling a lot so it might be a natural breaking point. I remain open to options.

Thanks for reading my novel here ... I've been trying to write this for days on end now. A core dump really.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 6/11/2013 10:40PM

    & you tell ME I've got a lot going on!!!

(BTW, I updated Part 2, "most of the rest of the story")

I used to have 4 housecats - while I miss my babies, I DON'T miss the litterbox duty ;-)

Also staying strictly away from those evil scales until I line up a few mo' good days...

Comment edited on: 6/11/2013 10:41:18 PM

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TRENTDREAMER 6/8/2013 10:36AM

    Congrats on the move, the kittens, your husbands weight-loss (I've had friends lose weight on plans that I wasn't too fond of and know the feeling).

Hope that the race went well! Hope that your husband's friend doesn't cause too much of an issue. Hope that the thyroid medication works out well.

:)



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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 6/6/2013 7:55PM

    Sounds like you're holding down the fort pretty well, considering. Not much longer, and you'll have your new place.

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MANLEYSANDY 6/6/2013 6:16PM

    Sounds like things are moving right along....

I can't believe you have 4 cats, this is awesome!!!

Keep on keeping on, you are amazing!!

Sandy

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The Universe Has Responded

Thursday, May 23, 2013

A week later the universe has responded ...

I put in the universe that I wanted a safe and affordable two bedroom apartment. On Monday this week as I clicked on line I found just that. I made the appointment for the Mr and I to look at it. Today we received approval and will ink the lease this weekend. First official day in the new place, June 12th.

The short version is ... I fell in love with it immediately and the Mr hated. Later I found out that he didn't hate it but was overwhelmed at the thought of ACTUALLY moving. He never thought it would happen. The next morning his head had cleared and now he's super excited.

I'm a control freak and have moved the office and my boss so many times that I told him I'd take point on making this all happen. He'll help with the lifting and moving but the planning and scheduling will be up to me. I've made what seems like a 1,000 phone calls today alone.

This alone makes breathing easier!!

My four furry ones are doing absolutely fabulous. The older boys have adopted the wee ones and they are one happy little family. It has proven a blessing ... now Irie lets me sleep at night. They are going to love this new place! ***We have decided to adopt the foster babies ... Tuff and Lilly. *** Yes they melted my heart and I can't image my home without them. The women at the shelter were not surprised. LOL

I had my blood drawn for the tests on Tuesday. The doctors office called earlier today but tried to reach me at home. I'm waiting now for the doctor to call my cell ... it must be about the results although it seems like a very fast turn around - I'll take it.

I continue with my workouts and look forward to exploring my new territory on foot. So many places to walk to and explore!!

I think moving and settling into our new place is going improve our marriage. I'm all about togetherness but I like separate too and this place allows us room to be alone when needed.

Human baby ... well we haven't figured this one out yet. BUT a larger place was one of my requirements prior to pregnancy. We are one step closer.

My commute will change a bit and from what I can tell it's gonna be a bit crazy what with switching from the bus to our train system. I've done it twice now and I can assure you the bus is more civilized way to get around during rush hour. I'll adjust. Did I mention I'm within walking distance of the train? Oh ya, it's right there!

Everything happened so flawlessly and with lightening speed. I'm beyond excited and believe this can only lead to more success. The happier I am the better I feel. The better I feel the easier it is for me to concentrate on my wellness program.

EDIT: The lab results are in ... My TSH levels are abnormal. They are over producing. Doctor one wants to put me on a low dose medication for it. I'm waiting to chat with Doctor two to see if he has recommendations as well. The rest of my labs when it comes to my thyroid all showed normal functions.
My bad cholesterol is elevated but she said to continue to eat well and workout and it should right itself ... no medication recommendations on this one.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 5/26/2013 1:59PM

    High TSH means your pituitary is asking for MORE T4; sounds like you need some supplementation -
Love, your friend who is NOT a human endocrinologist ;-)

(but my endo gave up the fight w/me after many years: in order to feel functional, I need my TSH to be almost completely suppressed, T4 at the highest end of the normal range... This reminds me to get my bloodwork rescheduled!)
emoticon

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MANLEYSANDY 5/24/2013 11:32AM

    Looks like things are moving a great directions, I am happy for you! I know moving sucks, but once it is over, it is nice to have a new place to call home!

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SGRAY478 5/24/2013 1:32AM

    Hmm. Strange that your TSH was high, but not T4. Interesting.

I am glad that things have worked out otherwise. My mother always tells me that, "things will work out as they should" but I am a crazy stress person and freak out until they fall into place, so I understand how having it fall together nicely for you must make you feel!

I am so glad to hear about your new fur-babies!! At the clinic we always tell people that are interested in fostering how easy it is to get attached and to think about that when they say they don't want to add another pet!

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TRENTDREAMER 5/23/2013 10:39PM

    Congrats on the new apartment. Glad to hear some of the situations are working out. Hoping for the best regarding the medical situation.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 5/23/2013 9:37PM

    Wow, that's fantastic! *hugs*

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EDENFELL 5/23/2013 8:15PM

    The new apartment sounds really nice. Congratulations! Good luck with all your goals. emoticon

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ELLES26 5/23/2013 7:59PM

  emoticon

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suffocating

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I feel like I'm suffocating. Like the plastic bag has been pulled over my head and I'm fighting for air but it doesn't matter how much I fight I can't find relief.

In general, all is good. In micro bits everything seems to be falling apart or at least cracking. Here's how it unfolds ...

The Foster Kitties
In general - it's all about the love, safety and health of the furry babies. I'm okay to let them go when foster care is complete. It'd break my heart but I know someone will love them.
In Micro bits - it's darn hard to care for TWO foster babies and do it right. Feeding, care, cleaning and safety of four week old babies is exhausting and time consuming. The Mr is NOT willing to let them go. He's attached! As are my two older furry babies. I had to take a morning off from work due to the Mr's schedule and not being able to leave the kitties in the kennel for extended periods of time. It was last minute. SIGH

The Boys aka my two older cats
In general - they are fabulous. I love them like mad.
In Micro bits - they have become attached to the two wee ones. So much so that they panic if something appears wrong at any given moment. That's tough to take. One of them likes to wake me at 4:00 a.m. to play or at other random times during the night. Sleep is fleeting at this point ...

Weight loss
In general - I'm healthy and my body is adjusting. I haven't binged in quit sometime now.
In Micro bits - I haven't lost weight for months now. It would appear all things have stalled, again. SIGH. I do. I change. I stay the same. I won't become complacent about it either! I am going to have a bunch of blood tests done to see if is crazy within my inner bits that need a tone up. Oh joy ...

Workouts
In general - I've come to terms with being a walker vs. a runner. The pressure is off!
In Micro bits - one of my healthcare professions suggested to me today that I might want to cut back on my walking to see if that will allow me to loose weight again. I asked if she could be my taxi service due to the bulk of my walking being for commute purposes. I'm tired of being told NOT to workout and move my body. She also suggested I increase my ST training. It's always fun to micromanage someone else's world, so I think.

Apartment life in the Bay Area
In general - I adore my little one bedroom apartment. I've been in the same place for 10 years plus - I'm comfortable. The location is perfect for all my daily needs. Yet, we need a bigger place.
In Micro bits - Moving is stressful AND expensive. Plus, the Bay Area might be a great place to live but it's also dangerous and expensive. Pick the wrong location and you might be hit by a stray bullet or be knifed by your neighbor. I don't make this stuff up. Plus, rental prices are crazy high. Owners no longer look for the right tenant but rather the bottom line. If you want affordable housing you live in a war zone / gang territory. If you want safety you pay the same as you would for a mortgage but you have nothing to show for it in the end.

The Mr
In general - it's all good. We are quickly approaching our 5 year anniversary.
In Micro bits - he needs to step it up and pay up. Get a different job and earn a bigger paycheck. He needs to stop talking about vacation ... it might not happen this year and I don't need the pressure of trying to make it happen.

Work -
In general - I still have a job. THANK.YOU.VERY.MUCH
In Micro bits - I feel like unemployment is right around the corner due to the boss being a horrible money manager.

Human baby -
In general - it's a great idea.
In Micro bits - are you kidding me? A great reward BUT ...
The Mr has tunnel vision on this one and I'm just standing still. The Mr is of the mindset that it will all just work out so why not move forward. I am so not that type of person!


So ya, everything on the surface is GREAT! Underneath it - in the darkness - I am panicky and suffocating. Once things start to move I think I'll find the release and breath I need. Until then, I just keep fighting.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 5/15/2013 2:02PM

    I totally hear you.

I know the feeling of "on paper" or "on the surface" everything's "fine" or "OK".

Sorry to hear.


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BLISS_OM 5/14/2013 10:12PM

    Hi KT,

Your blog was honest and raw and said so much about ... how this life can be the good and the bad of it. I think you're doing a great job being able to watch it all ... as a witness and catalogue your list of pros and cons. I make lists like this and it helps me step back from it all and be more objective. If you're not doing so already ... breathe. Take deep breaths as you review this chronicle and trust yourself to act on something ... in some small way ... even a micromovement forward will help you feel more empowered. At least that tends to work for me. I send you my support and I am rooting for you. Congratulations on all you have accomplished and keep in order "on the surface"! Blessings, Bliss!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 5/14/2013 8:54PM

    emoticon I have no words of wisdom. I completely understand what you're saying.

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SGRAY478 5/14/2013 7:34PM

    I am so sorry you feel like suffocating KT. I understand how on the surface things can look good with so many dark pieces underneath. And let me tell you I am not a "it will all work on in the end person" either. I hope things get better for you!. Hugs!

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MANLEYSANDY 5/14/2013 7:20PM

    I would LOVE someone to tell me not to work out so I could lose weight :-)...but I know you enjoy it!!!

I am so glad you still have your job, that you have not binged in quite some time and that things are going good with the Mr., the other bits are just what happens in life and I am a lot like you, I am so not that person, I have to have a plan too...but whenever I start to freak out, I usually have a good cry and then just take things one day at a time. That is all you can do...

Hang in there my lovely friend....

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ENDUROVET 5/14/2013 6:09PM

    At least w/kittens, you've got 'em weaned in 6 wks flat ;-)

But seriously, sorry you are having a rough time, darling. Hang on, keep breathing & WALKING for the love of God! I can't see what is the least bit harmful about that...

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P.S. I have enjoyed my infrequent visits to sunny CA but I couldn't imagine trying to finance living there!

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STUDLEEJOE 5/14/2013 4:56PM

    You are doing a great job with fostering the fur babies. Relax about things that are not within your control right now.

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