Monday, October 29, 2012
The back story:
In April 2011 the Mr and I traveled back to Iowa to see my parents. Things went horribly wrong as tempers flew and feelings got hurt. It seemly came out of no where but had to originate from something. It suddenly became a family divided and I felt cut off - not only by the physical miles between us but emotionally. That weekend was never talked about, the phone calls were strained and came less often. On a deep level, I was sad about what happened and too proud AND hurt to deal with it. On the surface, I was angry.
I love my family ... more than anyone can ever begin to imagine so this pain I was feeling cut deep to my soul. STILL, I remained headstrong as did my parents. *SIGH*
Time was passing quickly and I could tell my mom was wanting, needing, me to come home for a visit but we remained divided. Finally, a high school reunion came up and tickets were reasonable so I headed home.
Not knowing what the emotional temp's would be I politely asked the Mr to stay home. I had to explore the waters and see if I could put 2011 to rest. It would be easier if I went it alone.
I left earlier this month for Iowa, admittedly I was still bitter but open enough to figure out what happened. Either way it went, I was going to let "it" go.
My first morning there my mom sat down with me and immediately apologized for what happened. She said they - her and dad - were out of line, abrasive, judging and misspoke at every turn. Internally I took a deep breath and then we talked. We didn't rehash details, we both knew what had been said but we did talk about it coming out of nowhere. It was acknowledged that the relationship had been strained since then and that she missed me. Her apology meant more to me than I can express here. I accepted it without hesitation and we made amends.
This trip, I finally felt like the adult I am. I no longer felt like that awkward or like I was reverting back to my childhood self while under their roof. It was freeing.
Oddly enough, I am 42 pounds lighter than when they last saw me but nothing was mentioned about my continued weight loss. Even more odd, it felt great to just be and not have to explain my journey. I could just be. I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted without the questions.
I stuck to my wellness journey and eating healthy guidelines while I was there. I planned ahead for travel days, eating out and even desserts. It was a success and I lost 2.2 lbs while I was away.
I learned a lot about myself on this trip. *LOVE*
Me on the Farm:
I fell in love with this little one while there. It's a wonder I didn't smuggle him/her out of Iowa.
Mom and Me at the Tea Room
This is me, the day I came back to Cali. I was feeling sporty & fabulous!