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Finding my way

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Now that I feel like I'm treading water instead of completely drowning in the new San Francisco office I have set my sights on finding my way into this new gym scene.

At first I was excited about having a membership at a fancy City gym. Then I went inside and I choked. Yup, I completed my two complimentary trainer sessions, tried one yoga class that was an epic fail and then I just stopped going. I dropped my schedule like a hot rock and kept on walking. When Mr H (my boss) asked how I was enjoying the new gym - that he pays for - I would shrug and say I haven't been able to go due to my workload. In my own head I KNEW I wasn't going because I was the new kid on the block and everyone IN THERE terrified me. To make matters worse, I felt like I was the new fat kid on the block and everyone was waiting for me to trip as I walked by. *FACE/PALM*

Yesterday I told myself enough was enough and had to start finding my way. I scheduled myself out the office on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons to attend an end of the workday yoga class. I consulted management & discovered this 4:45 p.m. class is yoga 101.

I entered the gym and made a b-line for the yoga studio. As soon as I entered the studio I was reminded that they HEAT the yoga studio. Thankfully the woman who nestled next to me gave me one of her towels at the beginning of class. By the time the class started I was numb inside. I might be a warrior princess and a fighter but I have my weak moments too.

The instructor was fantastic. He was easy on the ears and gentle on the body. He demonstrated poses when necessary and was active with participants by readjusting us when needed. *I NEEDED* I was dripping with sweat, feeling my heart rate rise slowly and felt my muscles release as the class progressed. The hour slipped by without much thought and I only prayed to Dear Baby Jesus once during the class. *GIGGLES*

In the end . . . I felt like I found my way.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SGRAY478 6/1/2012 12:41PM

    I'm glad that you found your way. I am proud of the way you went back and faced the gym!

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BELAFUNK1985 5/30/2012 11:51AM

    I love me some yoga! I am addicted. I try to do it at least 4 times a week. Congrads on sticking it out. I am proud of you!!!

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FITNESSMONSTER8 5/30/2012 10:37AM

    I'm glad your yoga class went well. emoticon

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WOUBBIE 5/30/2012 9:15AM

    Awesome! And one day (probably sooner than you think) you'll be helping out the next newbie who walks in the door feeling a little intimidated!

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SPARKLEPIE 5/30/2012 9:06AM

    Ah yes even the strongest of warriors have weak moments.. but a true warrior does just what you did... pushes through and faces the challenge no matter what...

You are just awesome for going back, and finding a your own way- such a powerful moment inside you must have felt when the class was over and YOU DID IT!!

Bravo to you, this is simply wonderful... enjoy your next session!!

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JENJESS48 5/30/2012 8:31AM

    It took a lot of courage to go back - congrats! It sounds like this yoga class is a good fit for you and well worth the risk of going back. :)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 5/30/2012 7:29AM

    That's great! I'm glad you went back *HUGS*

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ABB698 5/29/2012 11:59PM

    Good job KT! Way to warrior on! Sometimes it just takes a few tries to find your niche. emoticon

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I'm passing along what was given to me

Friday, May 25, 2012

I received the following quote and link from one of my doctors. I found it informative and it left me asking myself A LOT of questions. I'm hoping my local library has a copy, or can get a copy, of the book so I can have a look see. If you have the time and energy to watch this video I'd recommend it.

ďEat food. Not too much. Mostly plants. In a way, thatís all you need to know ó so long as you understand that not everything in the supermarket is food. There are a lot of what I call ďedible foodlike substancesĒ that donít deserve to be dignified with the label ďfood.Ē ~Michael Pollan

Michael Pollan: Food Rules for Healthy People and Planet


Here's what I wrote down:
1) Don't eat anything your great grandma wouldn't recognize as food.
2) Shop the outer edge of the supermarket
3) Avoid foods that never rot. Food is alive and it should eventually die. Honey is excluded.
4) Unless it's homemade, don't eat something that has more than five ingredients.
5) Eat sitting at a table.
6) Eat when you're hungry, not board.
7) Stop eating BEFORE you are full.
8) Don't eat cereal that changes the color of the milk. (Personally I think he should add ... Don't eat cereal that changes the color of the milk AND/OR your poo. It happens and you know it so let's just put it out there - the statement, not the poo. *BLUSH*)

BRILLIANT! I follow *most* these rules myself. Honestly, I don't subscribe to #5. I don't have an actual table at my home to eat at but I do make myself sit down when I have a meal there.

Do you vilify foods - the Good vs. Evil. Does this change the quantity of the "good" foods you eat?

Do you have personal food policies? I want to explore the personal food policy statement so reading the book will allow me to better understand what he is getting at. Food policies vs. Food Rules. My inner dialogue, Personal food policies seem to be more binding whereas food rules are just meant to be broken. HA!

I want to adopt this statement into my life, "I no longer have hunger" instead of "I am full."

Agree or disagree with all, or part, of this it's okay. I thought I'd share what came my way.

If you've stopped by and have made it to the end of this blog I'd love to hear your feedback, your perspective.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABB698 5/29/2012 12:40AM

    Great guidelines! We always have dinner at the table, and each family member has to have some of everything (like a new veggie...etc...) The hardest part to adhere by is that we DON'T have to clean our plates if we're full... I hate wasting things/food, but I have to remind myself that my waist will thank me later!
Thanks for sharing, KT!

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ENDUROVET 5/27/2012 10:34AM

    Yes, I think those are great "guidelines"... (in my case) understanding that nothing is set in stone, circumstances may dictate a slight change in protocol (for instance, visiting friends this weekend so I don't turn up my nose at the toast my friend has lovingly prepared!)

Waiting for my boy to awaken so we can HIT THE BEACH!!! Woo hoo!

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TOTALFOCUS 5/26/2012 11:28AM

    Great information!
I will also check out the video link too.
Thanks a bunch!

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WOUBBIE 5/25/2012 8:37PM

    Yeah, I think these are all pretty sound guidelines. I think it's funny that he excludes honey. It tastes good and is produced naturally, but it's not particularly good for you in anything but small quantities.

I LOVE the idea of policies! I personally follow a whole bunch of what I thought of as "rules" but I guess, really, they're not. Rules really ARE meant to be broken, whereas policies are more a statement of belief rather than willpower. (Hope you don't mind if I steal some quotes from both your post and my comment and use it in the team challenge forum!)

Funny, but I was just thinking yesterday about the difference between "No, thanks, I'm full." and "No, thanks, I'm satisfied." As a former carboholic I can think of numerous times when I was full to bursting, but still not satisfied. You're right that "not having hunger" is not the same as "being full"

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You never really know until you try!

Friday, May 25, 2012

I made the remark earlier in the week that I was pushing up against a happy problem of not having clothes that fit anymore. Meaning, my clothes are getting to be to big! See a happy problem. *GIGGLES*

My local shoe guy, Scott of Scott's Shoes, (amazing in every way possible) hosted an event last night that took care of that happy problem. After regular store hours he allowed a fellow friend/small business owner to bring in one-of-a-kind spring separates, scarves & vintage pieces to sell. She had amazing things and I made sure she had a profitable evening.

I never dreamed that I would find anything to compliment my lovely curves. I was clearly wrong. I ended up buying two skirts, four scarves and a handbag. I never knew I liked scarves but those vintage ones just looked too darn cute around my neck ... I couldn't leave them behind. And can we talk about the handbag, it is something special and in a brilliant red.

When I pulled the two skirts off the rack I said a little prayer. I doubted on every level that they would fit, after all I was the curviest woman in a store. Yet, I pushed myself by saying, "you never know until you try." So try I did. I twirled and smiled as soon as they cleared my hips. *PRETTY*

You never really know until you try! It's a lesson for life, a reminder for everyday and it applies to all aspects of life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 5/27/2012 10:37AM

    That's great! Unfortunately I haven't had the chance to check out any of the funky boutiques here in my friend's beachside town...

I just want to go soak up some surf n' nice warm sand!

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SGRAY478 5/26/2012 11:16AM

    I love when clothes you don't think will fit, do! It is the BEST feeling in the world :)

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MANLEYSANDY 5/25/2012 11:29AM


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JENJESS48 5/25/2012 10:16AM

    Fitting into clothes that seem too small to fit is always such an awesome surprise. Congrats!

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WOUBBIE 5/25/2012 9:46AM

    Mmmmm. Used to LOVE vintage. Sweet!

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Life has calmed down

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Iím breathing easier, again. Life has calmed down.

The office move was flawless. Everyone I hired and tasked performed on schedule and with a smile. Gotta love it when that happens!! We officially started in the San Francisco office on May 1st - right on schedule.

The commute that I so fretted over has offered two positives. The first, I have dedicated reading time to and from work. This has really been enjoyable. The second, I overcame a fear of buses. Itís always good to be free of fear. I have also found that, in general, bus drivers are happy people and enjoy a good laugh, a smile and a thank you on a daily basis. I hustle to catch the 6:05 p.m. bus just because I enjoy the driver so much. I have also mastered the transbay express bus line and cross town bus line - loving my options! Only once did I have a near panic attack when I ďthoughtĒ I had boarded the wrong bus and had no idea where I was headed ... crisis averted after I sat quietly and discovered it was all crazy talk in my head.

Iíve recommitted myself to my job. With this move I discovered I was bored and underwhelmed at our previous location. I am again enjoying my position within the firm and finding more challenges after taking on a few new roles.

The Mr and I are connecting better than ever. He struggled with me through the office move but for different reasons. I was stressed and it showed in everything I did and said. Bless him for understanding (most of the time), asking if everything was okay and dealing with my longer than normal hours. It was refreshing not to have to defend myself at home when I felt my professional life was turning upside down.

Weíve continued to clean out the apartment. A lot of things we havenít used have been sold at our local consignment store and weíre still boxing up odds and ends up to take over there. We have downsized our computer desk and purchased a new sofa for the livingroom. Weíve been able to do this without racking up more debt and even paid the majority of our debt off already. Itís been a team effort!

I moved into this apartment more than 11 years ago, not much has been done in way of upgrades so I requested a meeting with the owner. She came by and met with the Mr and me at which time we negotiated upgrades to the apartment - new carpet, new kitchen lighting, a paint job on the bedroom door and other odds and ends to be completed. The one thing she didnít agree to was new counter tops. New counter tops = a rent increase. Ya, no thanks, the old are just fine. HA!

The Mr and I have also decided to head back to Jamaica to visit family and friends in November. Heís going to go before me to get in his ďmeĒ time with his people and Iíll fly in later. We both are looking forward to the change in scenery.

My BFF is wanting a girls only vacation but I am not convinced it will happen. However, Iím ready if it does. She can barely make rent most months so not sure how sheíll pull off a week cruise down to Mexico. Iím letting her figure that out on her own and stand ready if she can actually make it happen.

Fitness Journey:
I now have dual gym memberships - I pay for one and my office pays for the other.

Honestly, I could do without the ďnewĒ gym. Itís sterile and the people who work out there are not my people. The staff members are crazy nice, as are the trainers, but lets face it ... the members are what make the gym. I have yet to find my groove there and havenít been as much as I should - that will change next week. Iíll go and find my happy place and work on my fitness.

I continue to pay for beloved ďhometownĒ gym. At a mere $26/mo I canít let it go. I attend a Zumba class on the weekends and when I can Iíll go in on a Sunday too. I miss the people, their faces, smiles and the giggles. This gym is like going home. Itís comfortable and comforting.

At the new gym I had two free personal training sessions that went well. At one of the sessions the trainer made me a believer in the use of a foam roller. All other professionals chatted with me about the roller but never had me put it into action so I shined them on. The end result ... I NEED to buy a foam roller for the house AND USE it. The odds of me using the ones at the gyms are close to zero - Iím a realist, it just wonít happen. I should put here that I do NOT like the foam roller ... it hurts. It hurts because it is doing me good. After all, my legs and back love me after itís over.

I may just turn into a veggie head. I eat A LOT of veggies now. My blood sugars are stable and I feel fantastic. Iím off sugars, gluten, soy, dairy and other things that make my body reacts badly. The end results ... more energy, better skin and weight loss. I cook creatively and look for healthy options throughout the day. I even found a Ďpay by weightí salad bar by my office in the city. A handful of raw spinach and cucumbers really doesnít weigh that much so I eat cheap and I eat well. I love white vinegar on my salads too.

The Mr has even come over to the dark, errr, I mean lighter side of eating. Occasionally he still has his treats but the meals I cook he requests I make enough for us both.

Weight Loss:
Yup, that nasty plateau is behind me. Today - May 17, 2012 - I weigh 224 lbs. When I started this journey - before SP - I weighed 325 lbs. Iím a full 101 lbs. down and Iím riding the slide to the bottom! *WAVES*

2012 Races:
I have signed up for and will participate in three races this year. Each is a 5K. Iíve decided NOT to tax my body and will briskly walk each race. Jogging is fun but for now I have a different goal. Jogging isnít part of that so I walk - really, really fast.

Leg Cramps:
I FINALLY found the reason and the solution for my crippling leg cramps. For the most part I stopped eating processed foods and I rarely used salt when I prepared my meals. Guess what, I was crippling myself. My body chemistry was out of wack due to not enough sodium which was causing the cramping. Under doctors order I add sea salt to my meals and the cramps have stopped. Sodium isnít evil after all.

Unless itís water, I likely wonít drink it. If it has any kind of sugar in it, Iíll pass it up. I like the occasional tea and sometime coffee but water is my drink of choice. Fizzy or Flat!

Health Insurance:

Two years ago I battled to gain an individual policy for health insurance. It was brutal and humiliating all at the same time. I did it though. This month the Mr and I received notice that our locked in rate was over and we would see an increase by 46% to our monthly premium. No Thank you!! Insurance companies do not like to insure fatties ... I donít like. We - the royal we - overweight/obese people are NOT the unhealthiest people but we are treated like we are - BOO!
I digress. Iím now working with a new insurance broker and moving the office into a small group plan - with Mr Hís permission. He told me if I can save us all money do what needs to be done. Monday we meet with the broker to review two plans and get things started. I feel positive about it. *FINGERS CROSSED*

I feel good about life again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 5/23/2012 10:50PM

    Wow! That is all such great news! I am SO proud of you honey!

(Sigh, Jamaica... November...)


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FITNESSMONSTER8 5/18/2012 12:04PM

    I'm so happy that things are going so well for you. The trip to Jamaica sounds awesome! emoticon

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JENJESS48 5/18/2012 8:18AM

    Wow, things are really coming together for you, KT! I'm so glad to hear it! emoticon

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KOSHKALET 5/18/2012 1:58AM

    I know April was one heck of a month for you, and I'm so glad this month is showing you all of your hard work has paid off!!!

Such a neat description of the "hometown" gym - you're absolutely right, the people do make the gym (and I have to say, the gym is somewhat lessened by not having you and your great smiles and giggles there more often!)

So, so thrilled about your awesome transitions and positive shifts - you deserve a lovely trip to Jamaica!!!


and a big, big emoticon

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ABB698 5/17/2012 11:04PM

    So glad everything came together in the end, KT! That's really interesting about the sodium, glad you are feeling better because of it!
Hope your BFF comes through and enjoy your trip with the Mr to Jamaica! COOL!!

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WOUBBIE 5/17/2012 10:34PM

    This is absolutely the most awesome post! After so many months of uncertainty and enormous changes you've come through with flying colors!!! Awesome! I hope the positive momentum continues!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/17/2012 10:35:02 PM

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Life after a four-year Plateau . . .

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Life after a four-year plateau is a mysterious place.

On May 1st I walked into my newest doctorís office anticipating the scale to take a downward turn but expecting the same old hangup with the scale and my body. Then it happened the magic number of 228.8 flashed on the scale and it was a solid number. As tears filled my eyes, I stood still and silently looked at the number, my nutritionist gently touched my arm and asked if everything was okay. As the tears breached, I was suddenly enveloped with some fierce emotions. I was elated to finally see the lighter side of the 230's. I was relieved that what I had battle for for so long and had wanted so desperately to achieve had been reached. And then I was scared and overwhelmed. What if it wasnít real? What if it was another cruel joke and the following week I was back up again? Finally, I reminded myself to breathe and to enjoy the moment. Thatís when I finally smiled a little smile. I had done it! I had broken through the plateau that had weighed me down both mentally and physically for four years. Yet, I had carried on believing someday Iíd find the key to unlock the door that had shut so many years ago. I had fought the odds and I had won!

My motto is: Never give up! Always fight for it!
The question I always ask: How bad do ya want it?! (Song by Tim McGraw)

Currently I am sugar, gluten, dairy, soy free and soda free.
I crave water. Iím learning to love a good lettuce salad with a simple white vinegar or apple cider vinegar dressing. My ďotherĒ veggie consumption is off the charts and I now like mushrooms when I prepare them at home.

At 225 Iíll be 100 pounds lighter. Iíve seen that number before and then my entire system went off-line and Iíve been fighting the good fight to reach it again and go the distance. *Never give up! Always fight for it!*

I sleep now instead of waking up a 1,000 times a night. I eat with purpose and not desperation. I workout because I want to not because itís a chore. My energy levels are off the charts - I wake up well before my alarm and my energy carries me through my day. Stress? Sure I have it but it seems manageable now and I no longer feel like I might destroy the world if something is out of place. Iím emotional but for all the right reasons. I no longer feel like a hostage in my own body.

*Never give up! Always fight for it!*

Life after a four-year Plateau . . . yay, it feels amazing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABB698 5/10/2012 2:27AM

    oh KT, I can feel your excitement from over here and I have the biggest grin on my face right now! emoticon
I knew you'd do it, you are such an awesome, strong, fierce fighter and you fought for a long time, but in the end, she's knocked that plateau out of the park! emoticon

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FITNESSMONSTER8 5/9/2012 11:32AM

    emoticon CONGRATULATIONS!!! emoticon

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PJH2028 5/9/2012 9:50AM

    Ooh babey! High f'g five! emoticon
I'm touched by the heart and soul power in your words: the story of the saga and the victory of your day to day differences. You are an awesome person woman with an awesome Spark and story.

Thanks for asking how I'm doing this week, too! PMS. Relationship stalemate or bump in the road... and pms on top. Hmmm. Given that, I guess I'm doing well. But feel that ironic combo of strong strong and fragile fragile. Getting my food choices back in the clean columns this week (after weeks of slip-sliding 'maintenance')... has me a bit more ... what do we call it these days.. .Open? Exposed? Edgy?

I am wanting to move the scale again. Down some more. And I guess I'll see what happens.

I hope this isn't too long for not being a goodie.
CELEBRATING YOU is my intention.
Have a Great Day - Week - and Month of MAY


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JENJESS48 5/9/2012 8:16AM

    Congrats, KT!!!!

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KOSHKALET 5/9/2012 1:04AM


I see it now - the definition of determination - look it up online and there will be a picture of you, Ms KT!

The scale number is such a great reward, but look at all that energy flowing in you - it's just amazing!

Keep up the great work!!!

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MAGGIENCALI 5/8/2012 10:50PM

    That is so awesome and I am so happy for you. You are absolutely right, "never, never, never, give up". Yay!!!!!! emoticon

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WOUBBIE 5/8/2012 5:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonv emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/8/2012 5:56:24 PM

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MANLEYSANDY 5/8/2012 5:47PM

    Congratulations....you are such a fighter! You should be extremely proud of yourself!!

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TIMEIICHANGE 5/8/2012 5:23PM

    so amazing...four year plateau I had no idea. I'm glad you cried but quickly reminded yourself to enjoy that moment! It's real. You've worked hard. You are right Never give Up, Always fight for it. I plan to start fighting for it..for life not just to shrink. Keep up the great work! 225 here she comes!!

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