Thursday, May 17, 2012
Iím breathing easier, again. Life has calmed down.
The office move was flawless. Everyone I hired and tasked performed on schedule and with a smile. Gotta love it when that happens!! We officially started in the San Francisco office on May 1st - right on schedule.
The commute that I so fretted over has offered two positives. The first, I have dedicated reading time to and from work. This has really been enjoyable. The second, I overcame a fear of buses. Itís always good to be free of fear. I have also found that, in general, bus drivers are happy people and enjoy a good laugh, a smile and a thank you on a daily basis. I hustle to catch the 6:05 p.m. bus just because I enjoy the driver so much. I have also mastered the transbay express bus line and cross town bus line - loving my options! Only once did I have a near panic attack when I ďthoughtĒ I had boarded the wrong bus and had no idea where I was headed ... crisis averted after I sat quietly and discovered it was all crazy talk in my head.
Iíve recommitted myself to my job. With this move I discovered I was bored and underwhelmed at our previous location. I am again enjoying my position within the firm and finding more challenges after taking on a few new roles.
The Mr and I are connecting better than ever. He struggled with me through the office move but for different reasons. I was stressed and it showed in everything I did and said. Bless him for understanding (most of the time), asking if everything was okay and dealing with my longer than normal hours. It was refreshing not to have to defend myself at home when I felt my professional life was turning upside down.
Weíve continued to clean out the apartment. A lot of things we havenít used have been sold at our local consignment store and weíre still boxing up odds and ends up to take over there. We have downsized our computer desk and purchased a new sofa for the livingroom. Weíve been able to do this without racking up more debt and even paid the majority of our debt off already. Itís been a team effort!
I moved into this apartment more than 11 years ago, not much has been done in way of upgrades so I requested a meeting with the owner. She came by and met with the Mr and me at which time we negotiated upgrades to the apartment - new carpet, new kitchen lighting, a paint job on the bedroom door and other odds and ends to be completed. The one thing she didnít agree to was new counter tops. New counter tops = a rent increase. Ya, no thanks, the old are just fine. HA!
The Mr and I have also decided to head back to Jamaica to visit family and friends in November. Heís going to go before me to get in his ďmeĒ time with his people and Iíll fly in later. We both are looking forward to the change in scenery.
My BFF is wanting a girls only vacation but I am not convinced it will happen. However, Iím ready if it does. She can barely make rent most months so not sure how sheíll pull off a week cruise down to Mexico. Iím letting her figure that out on her own and stand ready if she can actually make it happen.
I now have dual gym memberships - I pay for one and my office pays for the other.
Honestly, I could do without the ďnewĒ gym. Itís sterile and the people who work out there are not my people. The staff members are crazy nice, as are the trainers, but lets face it ... the members are what make the gym. I have yet to find my groove there and havenít been as much as I should - that will change next week. Iíll go and find my happy place and work on my fitness.
I continue to pay for beloved ďhometownĒ gym. At a mere $26/mo I canít let it go. I attend a Zumba class on the weekends and when I can Iíll go in on a Sunday too. I miss the people, their faces, smiles and the giggles. This gym is like going home. Itís comfortable and comforting.
At the new gym I had two free personal training sessions that went well. At one of the sessions the trainer made me a believer in the use of a foam roller. All other professionals chatted with me about the roller but never had me put it into action so I shined them on. The end result ... I NEED to buy a foam roller for the house AND USE it. The odds of me using the ones at the gyms are close to zero - Iím a realist, it just wonít happen. I should put here that I do NOT like the foam roller ... it hurts. It hurts because it is doing me good. After all, my legs and back love me after itís over.
I may just turn into a veggie head. I eat A LOT of veggies now. My blood sugars are stable and I feel fantastic. Iím off sugars, gluten, soy, dairy and other things that make my body reacts badly. The end results ... more energy, better skin and weight loss. I cook creatively and look for healthy options throughout the day. I even found a Ďpay by weightí salad bar by my office in the city. A handful of raw spinach and cucumbers really doesnít weigh that much so I eat cheap and I eat well. I love white vinegar on my salads too.
The Mr has even come over to the dark, errr, I mean lighter side of eating. Occasionally he still has his treats but the meals I cook he requests I make enough for us both.
Yup, that nasty plateau is behind me. Today - May 17, 2012 - I weigh 224 lbs. When I started this journey - before SP - I weighed 325 lbs. Iím a full 101 lbs. down and Iím riding the slide to the bottom! *WAVES*
I have signed up for and will participate in three races this year. Each is a 5K. Iíve decided NOT to tax my body and will briskly walk each race. Jogging is fun but for now I have a different goal. Jogging isnít part of that so I walk - really, really fast.
I FINALLY found the reason and the solution for my crippling leg cramps. For the most part I stopped eating processed foods and I rarely used salt when I prepared my meals. Guess what, I was crippling myself. My body chemistry was out of wack due to not enough sodium which was causing the cramping. Under doctors order I add sea salt to my meals and the cramps have stopped. Sodium isnít evil after all.
Unless itís water, I likely wonít drink it. If it has any kind of sugar in it, Iíll pass it up. I like the occasional tea and sometime coffee but water is my drink of choice. Fizzy or Flat!
Two years ago I battled to gain an individual policy for health insurance. It was brutal and humiliating all at the same time. I did it though. This month the Mr and I received notice that our locked in rate was over and we would see an increase by 46% to our monthly premium. No Thank you!! Insurance companies do not like to insure fatties ... I donít like. We - the royal we - overweight/obese people are NOT the unhealthiest people but we are treated like we are - BOO!
I digress. Iím now working with a new insurance broker and moving the office into a small group plan - with Mr Hís permission. He told me if I can save us all money do what needs to be done. Monday we meet with the broker to review two plans and get things started. I feel positive about it. *FINGERS CROSSED*
I feel good about life again.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Life after a four-year plateau is a mysterious place.
On May 1st I walked into my newest doctorís office anticipating the scale to take a downward turn but expecting the same old hangup with the scale and my body. Then it happened the magic number of 228.8 flashed on the scale and it was a solid number. As tears filled my eyes, I stood still and silently looked at the number, my nutritionist gently touched my arm and asked if everything was okay. As the tears breached, I was suddenly enveloped with some fierce emotions. I was elated to finally see the lighter side of the 230's. I was relieved that what I had battle for for so long and had wanted so desperately to achieve had been reached. And then I was scared and overwhelmed. What if it wasnít real? What if it was another cruel joke and the following week I was back up again? Finally, I reminded myself to breathe and to enjoy the moment. Thatís when I finally smiled a little smile. I had done it! I had broken through the plateau that had weighed me down both mentally and physically for four years. Yet, I had carried on believing someday Iíd find the key to unlock the door that had shut so many years ago. I had fought the odds and I had won!
My motto is: Never give up! Always fight for it!
The question I always ask: How bad do ya want it?! (Song by Tim McGraw)
Currently I am sugar, gluten, dairy, soy free and soda free.
I crave water. Iím learning to love a good lettuce salad with a simple white vinegar or apple cider vinegar dressing. My ďotherĒ veggie consumption is off the charts and I now like mushrooms when I prepare them at home.
At 225 Iíll be 100 pounds lighter. Iíve seen that number before and then my entire system went off-line and Iíve been fighting the good fight to reach it again and go the distance. *Never give up! Always fight for it!*
I sleep now instead of waking up a 1,000 times a night. I eat with purpose and not desperation. I workout because I want to not because itís a chore. My energy levels are off the charts - I wake up well before my alarm and my energy carries me through my day. Stress? Sure I have it but it seems manageable now and I no longer feel like I might destroy the world if something is out of place. Iím emotional but for all the right reasons. I no longer feel like a hostage in my own body.
*Never give up! Always fight for it!*
Life after a four-year Plateau . . . yay, it feels amazing.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
I make it no secret that a four year plateau has taken me to the edge of insanity. I've slipped in and out of depression, cried, been angry and bitter BUT I've never given up. Sidestepping the negative side of the plateau I've learned how to manage a weight loss of 75ish pounds for four years. I've learned the value in food, the value in myself, the value in working out and most important the value in my mental health around food and personal acceptance. Plateau's while frustrating can lend themselves to some valuable life lessons and personal growth.
I'm on the edge ... of the plateau, again. I posted a 9 pounds loss which puts me back to the tipping point. If I dip into the 220's I'll have broken the plateau. I can again taste the victory that's just a mere 6 pounds away. Everyday is a victory in my world and every work out is cherished. I will say this, everything will brighten into techno color when I break the plateau and mark my words - IT WILL HAPPEN.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I was moved to tears today when I read one of my e-mails. In part it said this:
The SparkPeople Community thinks you are a motivation to others!
SparkPeople Members can vote for SparkPages that are motivational, based on Community involvement, personal accomplishments and more. You have received enough votes to become a "SparkPeople Motivator."
My wellness journey is well documented here and I feel blessed that so many feel I'm a motivator. Sometimes I feel alone & scared on this journey but now I realize all I have to do is reach out & say hello I might need you today.
ďIf you have faith in yourself, you will accept changes easily. You wonít be afraid of who you might become.Ē
Thank you for allowing me to have faith in myself. Thank you for being there in the front row watching, listening and lending a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to bend as my life unfolds and I reinvent myself.
Friday, March 30, 2012
I've hit my breaking point with this plateau of mine. I've done my time, I've paid for my past sins and it's time to get out. If I have to dig my way out with a toothpick, I will and I'm gonna make it!!
I went to a workshop last night at a new Chiropractors office to learn more about their wellness program and support system. Today, I'm contacting Doc to let him know that I want to try a new program, with New Doc. *GASP* I am also contacting Doc to have him review the new program and lend his thoughts. I'm very interested to see what he has to say. Honestly, unless he tells me it will 1) kill me or 2) cause great bodily harm I will move forward. In fact, I have a consultation already set up for April 14th.
Working out, on average, 10 hours a week and eating, on average, 1,500 calories a day and seeing little improvement in my physical body is a mind tweak. I don't want a fad diet or a crash diet, I want something that is healthy and nutritious and has support. I told the Mr early this morning, "I can't be this fat for much longer. I'm done."
I've got to keep trying. Keep searching. I will find my Lightning in a bottle . . .
"The universe has a plan. Be still, listen and then embrace it."
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