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Dreaming of a New Gym - REALLY?

Friday, March 16, 2012

Mr H, my boss, has ALWAYS supported my wellness journey. He watched as I shed my first 100 lbs. and supports me while I struggle mentally in the midst of a looooooooong plateau. When he made the final decision that our office would move into San Francisco he KNEW my workout schedule would be affected. He has watched over the years in complete amazement as I trundle off to the gym, without fail, in the evenings to attend fitness classes.

This week he started making noise about the office paying for my gym membership in the city. I just rolled my eyes and figured it was puffery. Today he confirmed that the office will in fact pay for the membership and he has picked the very place he'd like "us" to go. Well alrighty then! *STANDS UP FOR A HAPPY DANCE*

Keep in mind, with all his kindness and concern, this will of course benefit him AND the office! He knows my workouts are important and keep me sane. He knows I'll keep my regular hours at the new office and won't dart out right at 5:00/5:30 to catch a bus back home to make it to my current gym IF I have a gym membership steps away from the new office. He's right! Without having to worry about getting to the bus and across the bay to workout will benefit him greatly. It doesn't lessen my commute time but it sure cuts down on the mental strain.

The gym he wants us to join is minutes away from the potential new office space and has a POOL! I've not been a member of gym with a pool for close to 14 years ... oh the joys of having a pool.

Here is a link to the possible new gym: *SO PRETTY AND FUNCTIONAL*

I looked at the class schedule - do able. I can even take a few classes, if planned out right, on my lunch hour. I'm excited about my future options. Once we have inked the lease for the new space I'll go check out the gym live and in person. This gym doesn't have Zumba classes but that's an easy fix. I can go to my current gym as a guest of a fitness friend and pay $5 for the class there or go to the other Zumba studios on Saturdays.

I'm excited, very excited.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KOSHKALET 3/24/2012 1:24AM

    That is *super* cool! Way to go you and way to go to your boss!!!

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ENDUROVET 3/18/2012 9:54PM

    Coolio, that's awesome news!
(I would also love to be a member of gym w/a pool... But for now I'll continue to bug my husband about it ;-)
- putting in our own pool, that is!

Comment edited on: 3/18/2012 9:55:36 PM

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NAYPOOIE 3/17/2012 2:00AM

    Wow, treasure your boss, he's a keeper.

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WOUBBIE 3/16/2012 8:49PM

    Smart man!

I'm glad to hear that things are starting to look more positive for your move! Yay for less stress!

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BECKYB73 3/16/2012 6:24PM

    Mr. H sounds like a great boss and the company is fantastic for footing the bill for your continued health and wellness!!!

How exciting!

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BOB240 3/16/2012 4:12PM

    sounds like a good boss....

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Light Bulb Moment

Thursday, March 15, 2012

As I put my workout shoes on last night I immediately knew I had brought the wrong pair of socks, they were too thin. I forged ahead and check-in for Zumba. As class took off I noticed my feet were slipping about in my shoes and by the end of the class my feet were completely fatigued. When I felt my arches start to ache I backed off the higher impact moves so I wouldn't hurt myself. I left the gym early again last night due to both arches being tender. Boo, Hiss

LIGHT BULB MOMENT: Toss the skimpy socks and stock up on thick plush ones.

SIDE NOTE: I have a few pair of thick plushy socks that I bought when I was running regularly. They DO make a difference! Sadly, last night I had forgot to put a thick pair in my gym bag . . .

My hunt continues for new shoes and NOW new socks.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENJESS48 3/16/2012 9:11AM

    I loooove the Champion padded socks at Target. The arch and foot are extra padded but the top of the sock is thinner so they give me the cushioning I need without feeling bulky. And they have them in an extra long size that's perfect for my size 10 clodhoppers.

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TRENTDREAMER 3/15/2012 7:44PM


Glad to hear. Continued success to you on the workouts.

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My anxiety had swelled to irrational proportions

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Whenever I thought about riding a public bus I'd become anxious and in the end my anxiety had swelled to irrational proportions. Yesterday I squashed that fear and jumped on the O line into San Francisco. At least now I can take the transbay bus without feeling like I'll wet myself from fear. I'll be riding the O line faithfully when my office moves into the city. My commute will balloon to an hour vs my daily 8 minute walk now. Boo Hiss! I'll be riding the bus and then walking 8+ city blocks to get to the office - I could tell yesterday that will be a great morning and late afternoon workout session.

I also recognize that I've allowed my anxiety about putting back the pounds to swell to irrational proportions. I'm not sure how to squash that one, yet. Suggestions are welcome.

I'm looking into new walking shoes as my feet are in a world of hurt. I came home early from the gym last night due to their tenderness and feeling like I was walking on glass. I soaked them for a good half hour to take the pain out and they are much better today. I have new shoes, expensive new shoes, that the fancy running store assured me would be fantastic. Nope, not even close to fantastic, more like craptastic. I'm going back to New Balance and hoping they will work for me. I'm tired of the pain!!

I'm off to a yoga session!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENJESS48 3/14/2012 8:14AM

    Painful feet just make everything harder - ditch those shoes!

And don't worry about putting the weight back on - you've kept it off for literally years and totally reworked your habits. There's no chance that you're going to regain now!

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TRENTDREAMER 3/14/2012 6:42AM

    "I also recognize that I've allowed my anxiety about putting back the pounds to swell to irrational proportions. I'm not sure how to squash that one, yet. Suggestions are welcome. "
* Just knowing that I've lost the 50 pounds once and never gained more than 10 of it back has gotten me to the point that even if for some reason I were to gain it back, I know that I could lose it again. It's become a potentialfrustration, but not a fear for me

Sorry to hear about the shoes and the new commute and the new shoes

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ENDUROVET 3/13/2012 10:55PM

    Oh, & BTW the fancy shock-absorbing Gravity Defier shoes (advertised on this site, just proves the power of persuasive ads!) DON'T work for me; what size are you?
They're an 8.5 & I'll gladly ship 'em to anyone who might get better use of 'em than I did... They've been worn TWICE.

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ENDUROVET 3/13/2012 10:51PM

    Dayum - nothing is as miserable as painful feet, boy do I ever know it!
I have evolved over the yrs from Adidas to Nike to Asics to Mizunos, now back to no-frills basic Nike Lunarglides since my flat feet seemed only to be getting WORSE w/increasing intervention from podiatrist in the form of orthotics, injections, etc...
I also looked up all manner of "arch-building" flat foot exercises on YouTube & did 'em faithfully for a while, need to pick it up again as I enter the home stretch for my next half (4/21). I hope I haven't been lulled into a false sense of security since my feet have been feeling well, almost NORMAL!
sure, they still ache & get sore after a long day, but bounce back after I soak 'em & stretch 'em... Keep after it babe!

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HDHAWK 3/13/2012 9:33PM

    I'm glad you were able to ride the bus, but boy what a long commute. I hope the store will work with you to get some shoes that are comfy. There's nothing worse than sore feet when you're trying to work out!

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CANNIE50 3/13/2012 9:26PM

    I hate when new shoes don't work out - I hope they find the right pair for you. I found ASICS years ago so now I just replace them with the same kind every six months or so. As far as anxiety, I can tell you from lots of experience, the two best solutions (for me) for anxiety are exercise and taking action. If I am fretting about something, my anxiety won't decrease until I do something positive like clean a closet, or make my bed, or make a phone call, or go through paperwork - you get the idea. That, and some vigorous exercise, especially outdoors, tends to lower my anxiety fairly quickly. Nice attitude about the commute, by the way - especially given the drastic change. GOod for you for seeing the bright side.

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SARA72121 3/13/2012 8:59PM

    Running shoes and walking shoes are different so maybe your new shoes are great for running but awful for walking! I personally love my New Balance shoes for walking. Go to a store, fine the ones you want in the right size then go home and buy them online! The shoes I got were like $110 in the store and $40 online. Good luck with the new commute!

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She loved me for who I am, not for who she wanted me to be

Thursday, March 08, 2012

Of late I've had to deal with people behaving badly. In short order I stood up to a bully at the gym as I watched everyone else shrink into the shadows. I helped a new found friend only to have felt used in the end when they decided secrets were easier to keep then telling the truth. I've taken a step back. Another long term friend betrayed my trust. I stood up and made my voice be heard and now he's trying desperately to make amends.

Life is stressful enough without having a bully running around, secrets being kept and friends betraying a trust. Dealing with all three at the same time was all kinds of craziness.

Now today, I receive the news that my Auntie has passed away. I loved her with all my heart and she wasn't an easy woman to love. She lived her way, out loud and didn't care who got in her way. She was a hard woman and often cranky. She taught me to speak up and speak out. She taught me that being a woman was a precious gift to the world. She taught me to be no ones doormat and to always expect better and to never settle. She could make me laugh until I had tears and she could make me mad enough to spit nails. Such emotion she evoked. I was blessed to have her in my life! I am in a puddle of tears today as I remember . . . and I smile because I know she'd tell me to suck it up and don't be sad. I shed tears knowing she can finally rest, her life was exhausting. I miss her, oh how I miss her.

She loved me for who I am, not for who she wanted me to be, that was a precious gift.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUMD97 3/13/2012 12:49AM

    I found this blog by following the SP crumb trail on my feed, as I say.

"She loved me for who I am, not for who she wanted me to be, that was a precious gift. " This one line, more than any other, captures the essence of a perfect relationship.

Thank you so much for sharing, and I am truly sorry for your loss. Know that your precious memories of your beloved aunt, are a gift that she gave you that will serve to comfort you in times of sorrow.

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CANNIE50 3/12/2012 11:59PM

    It sounds like you are better for having known her, and there are people who are better for having known you - that is a great legacy. Your sadness is a tribute. As an aunt (and a mouthy woman) this was particularly touching to read.

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MAMADWARF 3/10/2012 9:18PM

    This really touched me. I had an aunt like that and being an aunt has been one of my greatest joys. I'm sorry you lost her but I'm glad you had her. What a blessing. She sounds unique and awesome!!

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ENDUROVET 3/10/2012 8:39PM

    Went to visit my beloved godfather, hospitalized for complications after "routine" bladder scan... He's been in frail health for several yrs now, but he can always make me laugh.
Deepest sympathy to you my dear,

emoticon emoticon emoticon

(In case you haven't figured it out, I'm the touchy-feely type! Luv ya!)

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TRENTDREAMER 3/9/2012 9:56PM

    Really sorry for your loss

emoticon emoticon

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FITNESSMONSTER8 3/9/2012 11:17AM

    I'm sending emoticon your way.

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JENJESS48 3/9/2012 8:51AM

    Man, when it rains it pours. Losing loved ones is always hard - but you're honoring her by using the skills she taught you. And your aunt would be proud of you. So sorry for your loss! emoticon

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ABB698 3/8/2012 11:57PM

    So sorry for your loss KT. Your Aunt sounds like an amazing woman, and you are right there following in her footsteps! emoticon

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ANTOSZEWSKIA 3/8/2012 9:28PM

    Hang in there!!! You can handle this!

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HDHAWK 3/8/2012 4:52PM

    So sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like she taught you many valuable lessons!

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WOUBBIE 3/8/2012 4:10PM


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SUZIEMAH1 3/8/2012 3:56PM

    Sometimes we just have to put our foot down and stand our ground lest we be run over and trampled on. Sorry about the passing of your aunt. It is hard when we lose people that we love. emoticon

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BMAN419 3/8/2012 3:54PM


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A tootsie roll

Monday, March 05, 2012

It's no secret, I had a harsh Saturday. Without going into all the gritty details I'll go into the moments of desperation instead.

Anticipating, then receiving devastating news is harsh. That's what happened on Saturday afternoon. The Mr and I are still trying to recover and find the best possible solutions. It was hard to breath and as the reality set in the Mr and I almost, almost, turned on each other knowing full well the situation was created by a third party. Cooler heads prevailed and we moved forward as a team.

What shocked me the most was this ...
After we received the news I saw a bowl of tootsie rolls and without thinking I picked up one and said at least I can have one of these to make myself feel better. Then I immediately said, no it won't make it better or make me feel better but it will taste darn good. (colorful language omitted out of respect for SP peeps). I took that tootsie roll and put it in my purse. I didn't immediately eat it but it did meet its demise a few hours later.

The Mr and I process crisis moments differently. He sits and thinks about it. In this case he would sit and internalize his anger and disappointment. I on the other hand vent. I'd rather spew the venom, get it out and then find a solution. Knowing this I called my bestie and ask her about coming over. She was game. Sadly, she's not the best person to hang out with in crisis mode. Not because she isn't understanding, sympathetic and a good listener but because she has destructive habits that I will gravitate towards them in moments like this.

I recognize that I didn't choose the healthiest options to deal with this crisis but I tried to minimize the damage in the end. I pulled back after I got my vent on. I said no to pizza, buffalo wings and french fries while there. Instead of junk food I went home, ate a salad and made myself dinner. I even skipped the ice cream.

So I write all this because of that one tootsie roll. That one tootsie roll made me see that somewhere deep inside I still believe food will make it better. I caught myself in the moment and I acknowledged it. However, I choose destructive behaviors to make myself feel better although I minimized the self destruction. I still got some work to do.

Looking at the situation now, what really would have helped is a good workout and a good cry. Ya, for a nano second I thought about the gym but then turned my back on it. Silly me, it's a great stress reliever and I didn't use those tools.

The Mr and I have found our solution and moved forward.
I dealt with the third party and their actions.
I lost control but then gained it again.

What doesn't kill us will make us stronger.
I am stronger having walked through the fire this weekend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 3/7/2012 11:44AM

    "What doesn't kill us will make us stronger.
I am stronger having walked through the fire this weekend. "
* Good perspective!

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JENJESS48 3/6/2012 11:18AM

    The most important thing, KT, is that you recognize the behavior and learned from it. And really, the destructive behavior wasn't that bad - you stopped a binge before it started, and that's impressive. Each of us will always have work to do; your blog shows me not just what's left for you but how much you have accomplished. emoticon

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ABB698 3/5/2012 9:21PM

    One little tootsie roll made a huge impression KT! Sorry you had issues. Good for you for realizing what you need to do for YOU, and taking care of business with little damage. You're awesome! emoticon

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WOUBBIE 3/5/2012 7:51PM

    Wow. That was awesome! If I were you I'd frame that little wrapper as a reminder!

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NAYPOOIE 3/5/2012 6:27PM

    If you got over it with just one tootsie roll, you are awesome.

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ENDUROVET 3/5/2012 4:15PM

    In my case, the sabotage came in the form of a Krispy Kreme, and it was SO not worth it!

(Blog post coming)


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 3/5/2012 3:41PM

    I had a craptastic weekend with regards to food, and only after I ate my weight in garbage did I realize it was all emotional eating. You would think after being on the journey this long, I could have recognized and stopped it... NOPE! You did awesome!

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MANLEYSANDY 3/5/2012 3:36PM

    You are awesome!!

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