Wednesday, January 04, 2012
I've been doing a lot of thinking about 2012 and what I'd like to see happen during the course of the year. My goals are obtainable but will take me out of my comfort zone and make me work.
1) Pay off 75% of our current debt.
The Mr. and I certainly don't live outside our means on a daily basis and I write up and follow a budget for every payday. Even with that we had a few expenses in 2011 that managed to creep onto our credit cards so we move forward to rid ourselves of it.
2) Read 13 books.
I am an unbelievably slow reader who struggles to find time to read. This is a lofty goal and will require me to turn the already neglected television off more often and retire to my reading spot more often. Happily I'll be visiting my beloved library more often too. *BONUS*
3) Have a total of $7,000 in my savings account.
This will encourage us to be thrifty but not stop living. I look forward to the challenge.
4) Family Planning.
Time is ticking and this 41 year old body isn't getting any younger - stronger and fitter but not younger. Serious talks, decisions and commitments must be made this year. Fears must be explored and we either go all in or we don't.
5) Clear the Clutter.
Mind clutter. Friendship clutter. Gym clutter. Paper clutter. Home clutter. Work clutter. House clutter.
6) Be more authentic.
Don't get me wrong, I am probably more authentic than most of my friends and family put together. Yet, when I choose not to be is when it hurts me or damages me most. That needs to end, right here right now. Two years ago I committed to not using the phrase, "I'm fine!" when in fact I was not. I've been amazed at how freeing and equally awkward taking that phrase out of my life has been. I push to move forward now and speak my truth. This one is going to be interesting.
7) Reconnect with my job.
I received a pay cut last year instead of a pink slip. I took it in stride and I adjusted the budget accordingly. What I forgot to do was adjust my attitude to accept that I am getting less pay for doing a job that in most firms three, if not four, people do on a daily basis. I started not really caring and doing just the basics. I'm better than that and I hold myself to a higher standard - now it's time to start acting like it.
8) The Scale.
I have a love/hate relationship with my scale. Truth be told I haven't weighed myself in three weeks and I'm okay with that. I wore my "skinny" jeans when the Mr and I went shopping for the day and I felt good. Why do I mention it, 1) because I wore my "skinny" jeans but 2) it got me to thinking about the scale. WHY must I weigh myself once a week? Who started that benchmark and why is it the standard? Doesn't really matter because I've decided to scale back ... pun intended ... to weighing myself once a month. *SCARY* Yet, I foresee no more weekly mood swings or the mental battle of eating well right before a weigh-in. Let's just live and let live and see what happens on a monthly basis.
9) Recycle, Reuse, Repurpose.
I already drive people at my office crazy with this one and the Mr at home just shakes his head when I sort the garbage if he happens to put something in the wrong bin/bag. Yet, I feel like I can make a bigger impact.
For multiple reason's I am happy, yet, unhappy in our current lil' apartment. Too many reason to list or dwell on so I have decided to actively look for a bigger more affordable place for us to move.
11) Save Money for a Retirement Home.
The Mr and I have already talked about retiring to Jamaica when the time is right. He ultimately wants to move back home and I can see myself relaxing in the tropics when I'm getting on in age but that means starting to plan now.
12) Fitness: Log 18,000 fitness minutes *YIKES*
Participate in a 5K and 10K race - walking or jogging, doesn't matter which as long as I can match or beat my previous times. Participate in my Yoga, Pilates, Zumba and boxing classes to help reach my lofty goal of 18,000 fitness minutes for the year.
This shall be an exciting year full of changes and explorations of me.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I've been to Jamaica countless times but this trime was the best. It pained our hearts to return to the states this time.
We visited the Mr's family - everyone is healthy and happy.
We hung out with friends and laughed till we had tears.
We ate fresh fish the sea (Uncle is a fisherman) and drank cold beer (Red Stripe, all the way!).
We swam in the sea and walked along the beach.
We wanted for nothing and got everything in return.
We discovered each other all over again.
I discovered, all over again, that a woman with curves and confidence on the island makes heads turn. My ego was stroked and I smiled an endless smile.
I discovered, all over again, that being humble and quiet speaks volumes to those around me.
I discovered, all over again, a quiet inside of me.
I discovered, all over again, a few inner fears and I fought and conquered them if only for a day.
Here are the highlights of our trip - I took 1,400+ photos in nine days - I wish I could share them all and make them come to life for you. Enjoy ...
An hour off the plane we were beach side at Uncle's place eat fish caught that morning!
At the border - best soup ever made and consumed!
The board house the Mr spent part of his youth living in.
Coming in from Sea
Super Food! (No I didn't finish my plate - LOL)
Me on my morning walk
On the balcony in Junction, St Elizabeth
Appleton Rum - the end!
The view from Auntie's place in St. Elizabeth Parish
I wish I could share them all with you!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
In early November I took part in a 10K race. I wasn't ready but I was willing, after all I had made the commitment. Truth be told, I thought about down grading to the 5K. No one would judge me for doing it but I knew I'd always regret it so I didn't.
It was beautiful day in the bay the morning of the race and I made it to the start line with plenty of time and little anxiety about the race.
I generally feel out of place on race morning, even as I absorb the energy of others. I go to these events alone and that's hard. Sharing something with a friend makes it even sweeter and a little more special. Once again I learned that I wish more of my friends took my wellness journey more seriously or at least want to participate. Even if participation is taking pictures and cheering me on from the sideline.
The Mermaid race in San Francisco is really well organized and we started right on time. The 5K's took off at 8:00 a.m. and us 10K's took off at 8:15. I stayed to the back of the pack knowing I'd be walking most of the race. There I met a group of women having a fantastic morning and they included me in there fun.
I learned, the hard way, that a 10K is a very long race. HA! Of course, it would have been easier should I have conditioned for it but being hard headed and dealing with a failing knee I skipped that part. *FACE/PALM* The first 3 miles my body was feeling good. At mile 4 I caught a pebble and had to stop. It was then that I found my leg muscles were fatigued. At mile 4.5 a girl in a stroller leaned over to slap me five as I ran by. As we touched she looked me dead in my face and simply said, "Go!" This was by far the BEST moment of the day. I found inspiration from a small child who had one simple message - GO! It still touches my heart. At mile 5 the bottom of my right foot started to burn. At mile 5.5 my leg muscles were screaming for me to stop. Ya, not an option! At mile 6 I could have sat down in the middle of the course and cried as both feet were now burning and my hip and knee were ready to give out. It was at this point that I had a serious talk with myself ... In short, "Girl, if you want to participate you have to put in the work ahead of time! Stop with this madness." For this race it was a little too late.
When I crossed the finish line it was bitter sweet . . . I had accomplished one if my 2011 goals, finish a 10K race and I had finished under the time I had set for myself. *FIST PUMP* Yet, I had no one to celebrate with. There were no high fives, giggles or embraces to follow. I again felt lost among 1,500+ women. YET, I walked around with my head held high . . .
The biggest lesson of the day -
That a race participant should never be told that it's okay to come in last, someone has to. Although this is a factual statement it is nonetheless demeaning. I've joked about coming in last before but until this 10K I'd never had that be a reality. Ya, I came in dead last - it didn't take away from my race experience but it did sting a little. I'll never again tell anyone that "it's okay because someone has too" - I'll have a little more compassion next time. Even if that is only for myself.
In the end, the day was a huge success. I finished a 10K and I came away a winner. The Mermaid Series does not give out finisher "medals" instead they do give out finisher necklaces with a charm on it. This years charm was a runner, last years was a flower. I cherish my finisher necklaces and I wear them with pride!
I'll do it all again in 2012 but next time I'll do some conditioning work! *GIGGLES*
Race day photo's:
A cold Start:
On the Course:
Breath taking view:
I earned it!
EDIT: I just looked up my finishing time. My goal was to finish under 2 hours.
I came in at 1:41:13, which is a 16:18/M
Thursday, December 08, 2011
It was a blessing that the 6:00 Zumba was cancelled tonight and I decided to return home prior to boxing class. At 6:45 p.m. we said good-bye to Ms. Sara as she passed in my arms. My constant companion of 16 years will be forever missed. Rest in peace baby girl, rest in peace.
Before we left for vacation I asked Ms. Sara to hold on till we got back. I asked her to stay strong and wait for my return. She did just that! My heart is heavy with sadness. Without fail she loved me unconditionally as I did her.
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