KT-NICHOLS-13   43,017
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KT-NICHOLS-13's Recent Blog Entries

Preparing for the week

Monday, January 09, 2012

Today I cleaned the house in the morning and walked for hours with the Mr as we ticked off items on our to-do list. It was an exhausting day! However, I had to prep the veggies for the week so I wouldn't have an excuse to not cook healthy as time passed this week. I have a full schedule at the office(s) and the gym so I had to prepare. I cut up the veggies and arranged the cabinets to ease my hectic life. I'm all set!

On a separate note: I've self diagnosed my latest foot pain - a bruised heel. Can you just imagine the discomfort? It's immense yet I push on. I do what I can when I'm not on it and I push forward when I am.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 1/9/2012 9:30PM

    Yikes, nothing is more miserable than foot pain! I am SO grateful that mine have been quiescent; but then again I have not pushed much mileage on 'em...

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FITNESSMONSTER8 1/9/2012 10:47AM

    I hope your heel is feeling better soon. Have a great week!!!

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ABB698 1/9/2012 1:32AM

    You are a machine KT! Sorry about the heel, I'm dealing with a foot injury right now too (see my blog) and as much as it hurts, pushing on has to happen sometimes. You are a warrior for pushing on at the gym, if I could wear a shoe, I'd be right there with you! Feel better soon, don't work too hard. Hugs

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What I did on New Years Eve 2011

Thursday, January 05, 2012

I brought in the New Year by letting go the past.

Earlier in December I had come across my journals that seemed to be written a life time ago. My immediate thought was to keep and relocate them. As the days passed I decided I no longer wanted to keep them, I wasn't the same woman. To hold onto the past is to shut the door to the future - I knew I must let go.

Having come down with a fierce cold I excused myself from the parties of evening but encouraged the Mr to celebrate with friends as I didn't need him at home sitting with me while I coughed, sneezed and sniffled.

As I finished my dinner I decided it was time so I gathered up all 12 books. I started to leaf through them and rediscovered where it is that I came from. I rediscovered names of people I had dated and friends I had spent time with. I rediscovered I was angry a lot and full of sadness that I masked with joy. I rediscovered that I went through some dark days and that I had also bright moments of happiness. I chuckled as I reflected on my past seeing my life unfold on those pages. As I finished one book I would tear it from it's spine and shred each page saying good-bye to what was. It wasn't until the last book that I was most shocked. It is here in the front of the book that I found letters that I had written to family and friends. Letters I initially thought they were gratitude letters but in reality they were letters saying good-bye. Somewhere in my not so distant past I had entered one of the darkest and ugliest times in my life and in a fit depression I had decided to say good-bye and farewell. Each letter was carefully penned and full of love and gratitude for each person. Each letter was a good-bye. As I read my body melted into the sofa and I sat still mourning for that lost soul, the one who thought she had no where to turn but clearly had so many she loved but felt she couldn't turn too. No attempts were ever made only thoughts about it! Soon thereafter I entered into weekly therapy and emerged from the darkness to find my path back to wellness.

So you see, I am no longer that woman. I no longer hid in the darkness or sit in anger. No more smiles while feeling pain in my heart. I no longer seek attention or acceptance by others because I am looking for external love. I now smile, giggle and dance. I respect myself and those around me. I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN AND I LIVE! Sure, I might be bit dramatic but when you read about your own death wish and despair it qualifies as a dramatic moment!

I shred that last book and felt the weight of the world lift. I had let go! I had said good-bye!

No my new years eve wasn't what it was supposed to be or had planned it to be. Instead, it was a blessing and a ringing of new year and a new life by letting go of the past.

It truly is a New Year and I am celebrating!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 1/6/2012 12:52PM

    "Two minds that think as one"... When I made the momentous decision almost 15 yrs ago to take another chance (have a baby), I reviewed MY old journals & decided to put the past behind me by burning 'em, phoenix-like, to start anew.

I need to do likewise w/these past 10 - 12 yrs' worth of scribblings - w/the exception of the "baby journal" I wrote for my son, documenting my thoughts & feelings during his infancy & childhood... I had originally thought I'd give it to him on his 18th BD but maybe sooner?

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FITNESSMONSTER8 1/6/2012 12:07PM

    What a touching blog! Thank you for sharing. I'm so happy that you were able to make it through the darkness and find yourself. emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 1/6/2012 7:21AM

    "I respect myself and those around me. I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN AND I LIVE! Sure, I might be bit dramatic but when you read about your own death wish and despair it qualifies as a dramatic moment! "
* I agree with that.

I'm really glad that chose to not say goodbye and are with us. I truly appreciate your friendship, encouragement and support.

Best of New Years to you. Thank you for being a friend.

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ABB698 1/5/2012 10:20PM

    Love this! You are emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 1/5/2012 6:44PM

    *HUGS* What a great way to start the New Year! I'm so glad you found yourself!

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KITHKINCAID 1/5/2012 4:48PM

    WOW - LOVE this blog lady. That is a wonderful way to bring in the new year. Happiest of Happy New Years! Best wishes for all 2012 has to offer you.

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HARRINGTON5 1/5/2012 4:19PM

    What an inspiring blog! I am so happy that you had a cold and decided to stay home and look through your books. It sounds like it was wonderful therapy. Shredding each page really did purge your soul. Now you really will have a Happy New Year. 2012 is going to be a real blessing. Good job!

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MANLEYSANDY 1/5/2012 3:53PM

    Thank you for sharing that! You are an insiration to me as I try to let go too!

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SKYPRESMOMMY 1/5/2012 3:48PM

    That is wonderful that you have been able to let go of the past like that....Kudos! And congrats on the new happy start! emoticon

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12 Goals for 2012

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

I've been doing a lot of thinking about 2012 and what I'd like to see happen during the course of the year. My goals are obtainable but will take me out of my comfort zone and make me work.

1) Pay off 75% of our current debt.
The Mr. and I certainly don't live outside our means on a daily basis and I write up and follow a budget for every payday. Even with that we had a few expenses in 2011 that managed to creep onto our credit cards so we move forward to rid ourselves of it.

2) Read 13 books.
I am an unbelievably slow reader who struggles to find time to read. This is a lofty goal and will require me to turn the already neglected television off more often and retire to my reading spot more often. Happily I'll be visiting my beloved library more often too. *BONUS*

3) Have a total of $7,000 in my savings account.
This will encourage us to be thrifty but not stop living. I look forward to the challenge.

4) Family Planning.
Time is ticking and this 41 year old body isn't getting any younger - stronger and fitter but not younger. Serious talks, decisions and commitments must be made this year. Fears must be explored and we either go all in or we don't.

5) Clear the Clutter.
Mind clutter. Friendship clutter. Gym clutter. Paper clutter. Home clutter. Work clutter. House clutter.

6) Be more authentic.
Don't get me wrong, I am probably more authentic than most of my friends and family put together. Yet, when I choose not to be is when it hurts me or damages me most. That needs to end, right here right now. Two years ago I committed to not using the phrase, "I'm fine!" when in fact I was not. I've been amazed at how freeing and equally awkward taking that phrase out of my life has been. I push to move forward now and speak my truth. This one is going to be interesting.

7) Reconnect with my job.
I received a pay cut last year instead of a pink slip. I took it in stride and I adjusted the budget accordingly. What I forgot to do was adjust my attitude to accept that I am getting less pay for doing a job that in most firms three, if not four, people do on a daily basis. I started not really caring and doing just the basics. I'm better than that and I hold myself to a higher standard - now it's time to start acting like it.

8) The Scale.
I have a love/hate relationship with my scale. Truth be told I haven't weighed myself in three weeks and I'm okay with that. I wore my "skinny" jeans when the Mr and I went shopping for the day and I felt good. Why do I mention it, 1) because I wore my "skinny" jeans but 2) it got me to thinking about the scale. WHY must I weigh myself once a week? Who started that benchmark and why is it the standard? Doesn't really matter because I've decided to scale back ... pun intended ... to weighing myself once a month. *SCARY* Yet, I foresee no more weekly mood swings or the mental battle of eating well right before a weigh-in. Let's just live and let live and see what happens on a monthly basis.

9) Recycle, Reuse, Repurpose.
I already drive people at my office crazy with this one and the Mr at home just shakes his head when I sort the garbage if he happens to put something in the wrong bin/bag. Yet, I feel like I can make a bigger impact.

10) Moving.
For multiple reason's I am happy, yet, unhappy in our current lil' apartment. Too many reason to list or dwell on so I have decided to actively look for a bigger more affordable place for us to move.

11) Save Money for a Retirement Home.
The Mr and I have already talked about retiring to Jamaica when the time is right. He ultimately wants to move back home and I can see myself relaxing in the tropics when I'm getting on in age but that means starting to plan now.

12) Fitness: Log 18,000 fitness minutes *YIKES*
Participate in a 5K and 10K race - walking or jogging, doesn't matter which as long as I can match or beat my previous times. Participate in my Yoga, Pilates, Zumba and boxing classes to help reach my lofty goal of 18,000 fitness minutes for the year.

This shall be an exciting year full of changes and explorations of me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 1/6/2012 12:57PM

    Whoa, this IS an ambitious year!

But I'm certain whatever you plan & wish for, you can certainly achieve. (I need to STAY AWAY from the scales myself, w/the exception of my weekly weigh-in for the Winter Challenge)

(18K = 50 min/d, no time allowed for illness, injury, or the occasional Lazy Day of Recuperation?)

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FITNESSMONSTER8 1/5/2012 12:14PM

    Great goals for the new year! emoticon

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PANDASUE2 1/5/2012 10:13AM

    Love your goals! I'm even gonna steal some for myself! You can do it :-)

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MANLEYSANDY 1/4/2012 9:44PM

    Great goals!! Good luck!!

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TEDDYBABE 1/4/2012 8:57PM

    Wow what a great list. Beautiful! You can do these. I might borrow a few of them. Great blog.

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 1/4/2012 8:44PM

    You've got on heck of a year planned! I hear the determination, and I have no doubt you'll be able to do it!

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MCMAHANEY 1/4/2012 8:07PM

    Your goals may seem lofty, but from what I read in your blog, they seem to match your personality well. I give you a big high-five emoticon

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TRENTDREAMER 1/4/2012 8:03PM

    Sounds like you have a good year ahead of you. Best of fortune to you on the goals!

You can do it.

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Helping Out

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Last night as I was getting ready for Zumba class one of the regulars looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Come to find out she was distraught over gaining four pounds in three days. With a sympathetic ear I listened to her as she "got the poison out." Ya, I've been there mentally and I know what that crushing blow feels like when the scale offers up a high number for what appears to be no reason.

Come to find out she had drastically increase her fruit intake and had started eating boxed/frozen dinners once a day. This had all started right before the mystery weight gain. She had never considered the sodium in the frozen dinners and admittedly was craving more sweets than usual, which could be the result of the sugar in the fruit messing with her system.

Everything really hit home with her when I asked her if she felt like was eating well passed 3,500 calories a day and the answer was no. In the end she decided to cut back on her fruit and stop with the frozen dinners, start eating more fiber veggies and protein and then flush her system with water and see what happens. My guess, the "bloat" will disappear as will the cravings.

It feels good helping out, if it was only to listen. After class she came over and thanked me again for hearing her when she needed someone. What I took away from that conversation . . . admitting when something isn't quit right and asking for help even when it's awkward and uncomfortable takes more courage than fighting a battle sheltered and alone.

We all need each other!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILD22 12/30/2011 3:41PM

    good read. I like to internalize everything "evil" so that's a great area to work on. Thanks you are incredible!!! emoticon

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READY4CHANGE81 12/28/2011 6:32PM

    awesome blog! :) sometimes we forget 3,500 cals = 1lb and that isn't going to be gained overnight no matter what the scale says! :)

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ENDUROVET 12/26/2011 4:03PM

    Yeah, obviously it goes a lot further than "Calories In/Calories Out", "Eat Less Move More", or whatever the favorite media meme is these days!

(You're a great friend)

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KINSBAILE 12/22/2011 10:56AM

    It's so nice to find kindred spirits!

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TRENTDREAMER 12/21/2011 3:45PM

    "In the end she decided to cut back on her fruit and stop with the frozen dinners, start eating more fiber veggies and protein and then flush her system with water and see what happens. My guess, the "bloat" will disappear as will the cravings. "
* I believe you're right. The sodium in frozen dinners and restaurants will easily pop on 2-3 pounds. At least it does for me.

"admitting when something isn't quit right and asking for help even when it's awkward and uncomfortable takes more courage than fighting a battle sheltered and alone.
We all need each other!"
* Amen! Well said.

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AIRPEACH 12/20/2011 6:06PM

    emoticon
A lot of people don't seem to consider salt, and how much of it is in some things.

Comment edited on: 12/20/2011 6:08:11 PM

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BETTERJULIA 12/20/2011 4:08PM

    LOVE this because it is so true! Thank you for being there for her! As women sometimes I think we struggle to reach out because we've been 'trained' to compete with each other by media and society when one of our greatest strengths is our empathy and understanding of each other. You ROCK!

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Jamaica Revisited - Photo Heavy

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I've been to Jamaica countless times but this trime was the best. It pained our hearts to return to the states this time.

We visited the Mr's family - everyone is healthy and happy.
We hung out with friends and laughed till we had tears.
We ate fresh fish the sea (Uncle is a fisherman) and drank cold beer (Red Stripe, all the way!).
We swam in the sea and walked along the beach.
We wanted for nothing and got everything in return.
We discovered each other all over again.

I discovered, all over again, that a woman with curves and confidence on the island makes heads turn. My ego was stroked and I smiled an endless smile.
I discovered, all over again, that being humble and quiet speaks volumes to those around me.
I discovered, all over again, a quiet inside of me.
I discovered, all over again, a few inner fears and I fought and conquered them if only for a day.

Here are the highlights of our trip - I took 1,400+ photos in nine days - I wish I could share them all and make them come to life for you. Enjoy ...

An hour off the plane we were beach side at Uncle's place eat fish caught that morning!


Bamboo Avenue


Lunch!




At the border - best soup ever made and consumed!


The board house the Mr spent part of his youth living in.




Coming in from Sea






Super Food! (No I didn't finish my plate - LOL)


Jamaica Blue


Me on my morning walk


On the balcony in Junction, St Elizabeth


Appleton Rum - the end!










The view from Auntie's place in St. Elizabeth Parish




I wish I could share them all with you!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 12/26/2011 3:58PM

    What gorgeous photos - I'm so jealous ;-)

Hard to get motivated w/our current cold drizzly yucky weather, but I've got to get off my butt & finish final prep for MIL's visit (Wed). Wish me luck GF!

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MANLEYSANDY 12/20/2011 2:39PM

    Gorgeous! It sounds like you had a wonderful trip!!

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ABB698 12/20/2011 12:10PM

    Gorgeous KT! You and the scenery! Wow, that fresh fish looks so fabulous (and it's breakfast time here, so it MUST look good because I wouldn't eat fish for breakfast...LOL) Glad you were able to enjoy and rediscover yourself and the Mr. again. Happy Holidays!

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PANDASUE2 12/20/2011 9:11AM

    Nice pics! Can't wait to get there someday!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 12/20/2011 9:09AM

    Looks like you had a fabulous time. So glad you were able to reconnect with yourself.

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AIRPEACH 12/20/2011 7:34AM

    It looks like you had a wonderful time! I love your discovery notes, and all the things you did.

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