Saturday, September 17, 2011
Being the fat girl can be difficult, if you let it! I've been heavy since puberty. I learned early on that if I let my weight stop me then life would pass me by. I played ALL sports growing up. I socialized and partied with my thin friends. I love to flirt and I feel sexy at any weight (even when I topped out at 325 lbs). Sure somethings were more difficult for me to do but I pushed myself and I have memories AND photo's to reflect on. I don't cringe at my "fat" pictures any more, I embrace them. I'm me fat or thin and I love me!
While talking to my best friend last night about an outing in San Francisco tomorrow I realized I craved activity. My best friend is unhealthy and her body is breaking down under her weight. I have in the past encouraged her to workout but she makes the choice not too. Anyway, while discussing our transportation options I pushed more for walking. That quickly went no where when my friends stated, "I'm old (she's 42!) and fat and I don't want to walk to our first destination and be tired. I'd rather take a taxi. I am willing to walk after so we can get pastries." WTH?! I sat very quietly and bit my tongue till it hurt. She is not willing to walk to get to our first destination because it's too far but she is willling to walk the same distance to buy a pastry? OH MY!!! What do I do with this?
She's stuck. It saddens my heart that she is choosing to live her life this way. I fear one day that her heart will give out or that her body will give out because she refuses to move.
Being the Fat Girl does NOT mean you have to stop living. Live! Move, even if it's at a slower pace. Do something but don't give up or give in. I wish she loved herself enough to make a change. I love her unconditionally but I won't enable her.
EDIT SINCE POST: It's Sunday morning, I should be getting ready to go into the city but I'm not. My friend is sick, really sick with a bad cold. Yes, it's real.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It looks like a nectarine.
It feels like a nectarine.
It smells like a nectarine.
Aak, why doesn't it taste like a nectarine!?!
On Saturday a friend gave me two nectarines that they had received from a Harry and David package. They were sweet, juicy and all kinds of goodness.
Monday night I stopped at the organic produce stand on my way to the gym and bought a nectarine to eat before boxing. The first bite was dreadful! It was mushy and tasteless. I trashed it. There really is no way to salvage a bad piece of fruit.
Today I stopped to buy more fruit. I walked away with one banana and two peaches. I just ate one of the peaches. In a word I was . . . Unimpressed.
It's hard to embrace the goodness of fruit (which I dearly love) when it just doesn't take like fruit!
Operation Veggie has commenced. Actually it started on the weekend and has continued forward. I'm eating an abundance of salads and putting together stir-fries at the house.
My latest stir-fry has zucchini, mushrooms, carrots, peas, and onions. I use a tsp of oil to get it going and lightly season it. Delicious!
Honestly, I had forgotten how lovely veggies taste - before the Mr moved in I used to eat them daily. (veggies don't come natural to him) This weekend when the Mr and I go shopping I'll expand my variety. I'll need to stay mindful to not over buy and becoming wasteful though.
A note about salads: They ALWAYS taste better when someone else prepares them so I rarely buy salad fixings for the house. My latest salad love has come from Trader Joe's and the Panera restaurant. Those are just my top two, I've got others. Both salads are reasonably priced, yet I consider them "treats", and the calories are totally doable, even with the dressings.
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