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Monday, September 19, 2011

Yup, my weight reset itself over the last week. Last week I weighed in at 232.5 which was down from 235 and today I am back at 235. I wasn't even going to weigh-in today because I knew this would be the case but to keep it real I woke the scale and stood tall. When the numbers flashed I looked down and remarked out loud, "Typical." As I placed the scale back in it's resting place tears stung my eyes a bit but I wouldn't let them fall. The anger bubbled and boiled but I kept it contained. These numbers haunt me and yet, I forge on. I shall begin again!

Honestly, I thought about sending Doc an email to update him on my progress or lack thereof but then noted it has only been one month and he asked me to give it two, I'll respect his wishes. The Mr and I are heading to Jamaica in a month to visit family & friends so I'm going to contact Doc after we return which will be the first part of December. I am hoping that I have different news to report come the first of December!

Here are some happy facts that keep me going:

Current Streaks on SP
1) I've logged in 190 Days
2) For 21 weeks I've exercised for at least 90 minutes per week
3) I've consumed at least 8 cups of water per day for 91 days
4) I'm 92 days Soda Free!! (THIS IS HUGE!!!)
5) I've done something active outdoors 1 time per day for 92 days

These my friends are things that keep me going. They're small but significant!

I've also decided to open up about my life, weight-loss and journey to wellness with a new friend. She has lots of questions and when answering those questions I reflect and discover new things. It's a good thing.

Other positives:
My stamina has increased drastically since starting boxing.
I'm running short distances again and enjoying it.
I'm doing short sessions of Strength training and enjoying it.
I can bust a move in Zumba like I've been dancing my entire life. HA!
I crave movement rather than stillness.
I love buying fitness gear.
The pants I'm wearing today are a smaller size.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENJESS48 9/20/2011 8:55AM

    Your scale and mine must be in cahoots; I have the same up-and-down thing going on despite consistent effort. Blech! We just have to stay strong and keep sparking; those stupid scales will catch up with us sometime.

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ABB698 9/20/2011 12:34AM

    I'm right there with ya Girl, on feeling stuck, but then looking at what we have accomplished is AMAZING and so much better than where we started this journey at! Be proud, you are an amazing, strong, kick-ass woman! emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 9/20/2011 12:11AM

    Keep those NSVs in mind! They are not insignificant!! You are a rock star and things will turn around, you won't let them not get better :). That is so totally awesome!!

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TOTALFOCUS 9/19/2011 9:41PM

Look at the weight ticker where you started and then take a look at where you are now on that ticker. You are almost down 100 pounds! Thats something to get excited about!
You can do it!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 9/19/2011 9:43:21 PM

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TSEWARD 9/19/2011 8:57PM

    You are doing AWESOME!!! It is just amazing how we let those stupid numbers affect us so much. The same happens to me. I love your positives! Going that long soda free, boxing, craving movement, smaller pants size, all those days w/8 glasses of water each day? So glad you shared your positives...many are goals I am still struggling with, so I know how hard you have to work to get there. you are an inspiration!

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KINSBAILE 9/19/2011 5:00PM


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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/19/2011 4:42PM

    Yah, the scale sucks! But you know what, all of those other NSV are SO important. Tomorrow, that scale may say 237 (not a wish, just saying), but YOU know you can run farther than you did last week. You know you can go hiking and rafting without being exhausted. You're doing great KT, just keep doing it!

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ENDUROVET 9/19/2011 4:10PM

    I wish I had some useful advice but I'm also teetering at the tippy-top of my lonesome High Plateau... (not that I can claim any of your virtuous habits either, but that's another story ;-)

Hang in there - as DesertFlower says, the good lifestyle must to a certain extent, be its own reward!

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DESERTFLOWER8 9/19/2011 3:24PM

    KT-- I am so sorry for the damn frustration. However, your positives are so A M A Z I N G, and are truly the things that mean you are living a full, rich, and healthy life....isn't that what we all really want? The numbers are gonna come, hon, they will. For now, go on rockin' your warrior spirit, and show us all how it's done. I think you are a goddess!! emoticon

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Being the Fat Girl

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Being the fat girl can be difficult, if you let it! I've been heavy since puberty. I learned early on that if I let my weight stop me then life would pass me by. I played ALL sports growing up. I socialized and partied with my thin friends. I love to flirt and I feel sexy at any weight (even when I topped out at 325 lbs). Sure somethings were more difficult for me to do but I pushed myself and I have memories AND photo's to reflect on. I don't cringe at my "fat" pictures any more, I embrace them. I'm me fat or thin and I love me!

While talking to my best friend last night about an outing in San Francisco tomorrow I realized I craved activity. My best friend is unhealthy and her body is breaking down under her weight. I have in the past encouraged her to workout but she makes the choice not too. Anyway, while discussing our transportation options I pushed more for walking. That quickly went no where when my friends stated, "I'm old (she's 42!) and fat and I don't want to walk to our first destination and be tired. I'd rather take a taxi. I am willing to walk after so we can get pastries." WTH?! I sat very quietly and bit my tongue till it hurt. She is not willing to walk to get to our first destination because it's too far but she is willling to walk the same distance to buy a pastry? OH MY!!! What do I do with this?

She's stuck. It saddens my heart that she is choosing to live her life this way. I fear one day that her heart will give out or that her body will give out because she refuses to move.

Being the Fat Girl does NOT mean you have to stop living. Live! Move, even if it's at a slower pace. Do something but don't give up or give in. I wish she loved herself enough to make a change. I love her unconditionally but I won't enable her.

EDIT SINCE POST: It's Sunday morning, I should be getting ready to go into the city but I'm not. My friend is sick, really sick with a bad cold. Yes, it's real.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 9/19/2011 3:43PM

    I was greatly alarmed this past weekend, when I heard Hubby's shortness of breath after just a short hike (couple of blocks), meeting me in the car when I was picking him up at the train station...
But there's nothing I can do but model good behavior for him, esp when we're apart during the week like this. I don't want him to feel like I'm nagging him!
(so in other words I get where you're coming from)

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/19/2011 11:30AM

    That's really hard. You want to tell he, but you don't want to hurt her. I'm sorry to hear your trip was cancelled. I hope it work out with your friend.

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1DERLAND14 9/19/2011 2:39AM

    I can relate to where you are coming from, but I've also been in your friends shoes. Long before I started my weight loss journey I had an aunt who has lost 100+ pounds. She is so happy with her life and it revolves around health and activity. While it is great for her sometimes I felt like she was pushing her life on to me. I was very depressed at that point in my life and thought that I would be fat forever. Anyway, i know it is SO hard to see people you care about settling for less and caring less about themselves then we do, but she is going to have to make the choice to change. Something will have to happen that will open her eyes just like it happened for us. I know that there was a long time where I was just like her and I didn't care. The only regret I do have is not doing this sooner. So hopefully, she will see all the positive changes in your life and want to make a change in her own. You're a good friend to care about her so much!!

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JENJESS48 9/17/2011 9:41PM

    Man, that's hard. Congrats on not enabling her - it's really hard to bite your tongue and let people make decisions you know are going to hurt them, especially when you really care about them. You did what you could and let it go; I really admire that. It's such a shame that she isn't following your example!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 9/17/2011 9:20PM

    Sorry your friend doesn't understand how important this is and how easy it is to make small changes and get started. I remember back and remember how hard it SEEMED to get started. You are staring down an elephant and it can feel intimidating. Hopefully she will walk with you and see how easy it can be to do a little bit and keep building on that. Have a fun time with your friend in any case.

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MAGGIENCALI 9/17/2011 8:37PM

    San Francisco is not an easy walk. It can be however, a great workout. I'm so sorry about your friend. But don't you stop your living on her account. You are doing great!

I hope whatever you both decide to do that you have fun regardless.

Comment edited on: 9/17/2011 8:38:32 PM

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ABB698 9/17/2011 5:14PM

    Wow KT, hard situation, especially because we all know it CAN be done regardless of your weight, and it's a choice, and it's sad to see her choice is pastries over health! Wow, Maybe you can suggest walking to the pastry store if that's really a priority to her, say that way she can work her way to the pastry and you can get a healthy snack, and your snacks (Not really her unhealthy one, but yours) will recharge you to be able to power on to your next destination??? 42 is my age, and I'm not too old to walk, that's just an excuse for laziness! I see 80 y ear olds walking all around town and they're not too old. Well you know she is making excuses, just do what YOU can to keep healthy while with her. Maybe, just maybe you'll inspire her. Have fun regardless! Happy weekend!

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OYAVIBE 9/17/2011 4:27PM

    emoticon You are absolutely right! Great Blog!

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Temporary Schedule Change

Thursday, September 15, 2011

I have decided to modify my workout schedule today by not attending Zumba. *SAD FACE*

My right knee has been less than a 100% for at least a week, probably longer if I were honest with myself. Even with the ache and difficulty sometimes going down stairs I continue on my workout path modifying moves when necessary. After Zumba last night I was going to run but noticed it was "tighter" than usual so opted to walk on the treadmill, at slower pace, and then do my strength training. During boxing I went all out. There were no kicking combinations but we did do floor work which meant we used our legs a lot and I felt my knee tighten even more.

As a side note: The floor work involved punching routines which wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't holding three pound weights in each hand. Not only were my legs and hips on fire but my arms felt like they were going to fall off. I also noted when a newbie frustrated the instructor due to not being able to follow simple instructions and a veteran used the phrase "I can't" things got tougher. Mental note, don't frustrate the instructor or say you can't do something when you can - he doesn't like it, at all. LOL.

Anyway, throughout class I stretched and babied it as best I could and figured my walk home would ease some of the discomfort. Not so much! I got a block away from the gym and my right shin cramped and when I stretched it my foot cramped. By the time I reached home the cramp had left but the knee was still tight. I iced it immediately and drank four glasses of water and three classes of gatorade. The Mr was very happy to hear that I planned to skip Zumba tonight and have a rest day. He was even happier to learn I was sticking to this plan this morning. What I haven't told him is that I'm going to do upper body ST at home while watching TV tonight. I can't give it all up!

I'm not sure what's wrong with my knee and have opted to not go to the doctor*. There's no swelling or bruising, just stiffness and the doctor will tell me the same thing I'm already doing - ice it and rest it. *Growing up with Mom who was a ER Nurse you learn going to the doctor isn't always necessary. If things don't get progressively better I'll contact someone then.

Listening to my body and respecting it is key to succeeding. Tonight I surrender and know that this really is a temporary schedule change.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KINSBAILE 9/16/2011 4:18PM

    *HUGS* Hope you are back up to your warrior self soon!

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TRENTDREAMER 9/16/2011 12:41PM

    Good moves. Sorry to hear about the knee. Hope that it gets better soon with time and rest.

emoticon emoticon

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ABB698 9/16/2011 1:33AM

    I know it's hard to slow down, but I'm glad you're listening to your body and taking care of you!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 9/15/2011 11:25PM

    In our house doctors are for two things...regular check-ups and absolute emergencies. I guess there is a little give in there-lol. But, agree, a stiff knee needs a little rest and relaxation and if that doesn't bring improvement THEN you can consult the M.D. Glad you took a break and hope that your knee is feeling better quickly. (Seems to be a knee thing making the rounds right now...yours is, like, the third blog today-take care)

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ESHERRILL3 9/15/2011 4:16PM

    Yeah, you can stay home and ST while following R.I.C.E. for your knee. It's important to listen when your body tells you stuff.

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Fruits & Veggies

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It looks like a nectarine.
It feels like a nectarine.
It smells like a nectarine.

Aak, why doesn't it taste like a nectarine!?!

On Saturday a friend gave me two nectarines that they had received from a Harry and David package. They were sweet, juicy and all kinds of goodness.

Monday night I stopped at the organic produce stand on my way to the gym and bought a nectarine to eat before boxing. The first bite was dreadful! It was mushy and tasteless. I trashed it. There really is no way to salvage a bad piece of fruit.

Today I stopped to buy more fruit. I walked away with one banana and two peaches. I just ate one of the peaches. In a word I was . . . Unimpressed.

It's hard to embrace the goodness of fruit (which I dearly love) when it just doesn't take like fruit!


Operation Veggie has commenced. Actually it started on the weekend and has continued forward. I'm eating an abundance of salads and putting together stir-fries at the house.

My latest stir-fry has zucchini, mushrooms, carrots, peas, and onions. I use a tsp of oil to get it going and lightly season it. Delicious!

Honestly, I had forgotten how lovely veggies taste - before the Mr moved in I used to eat them daily. (veggies don't come natural to him) This weekend when the Mr and I go shopping I'll expand my variety. I'll need to stay mindful to not over buy and becoming wasteful though.

A note about salads: They ALWAYS taste better when someone else prepares them so I rarely buy salad fixings for the house. My latest salad love has come from Trader Joe's and the Panera restaurant. Those are just my top two, I've got others. Both salads are reasonably priced, yet I consider them "treats", and the calories are totally doable, even with the dressings.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KINSBAILE 9/15/2011 12:11PM

    I only love grapes, berries and APPLES (red delicious ones)... peaches and nectarines seem to be good if you're in the state they are grown in and in season.

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 9/15/2011 12:25AM

    I hate bad fruit. Now I want a delicious, juicy nectarine-lol! Shopping on Friday or Saturday and planning on hitting the local health food store for lots of delicious fruit, hope it is delicious :).

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JENJESS48 9/14/2011 8:44PM

    I have the same problem with my DH; he hates almost all veggies. A coworker and I have traded tips on how to hide veggies: what works on her kids works on my husband, rofl. Let me know if you want some tried-and-true tricks to try on the Mister.

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BLUEANGELLK 9/14/2011 8:44PM

    I agree, salads taste better f someone else prepares them. I wonder why that is??

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SUGARPIE54 9/14/2011 7:55PM

  if you get any zucchini try making zucchini burger they were very good

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1THING 9/14/2011 7:46PM


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My First Monday Weigh-in

Monday, September 12, 2011

A four pound loss this week. It kinda seems like a hollow victory.

I worked my tail off this past week. I added in Strength training, attended ALL my Zumba and boxing classes at the gym, ran and stretched. I did it all and I loved every moment.

I worked A LOT at my Saturday job getting ready for another trial so I rewarded myself with new Zumba dance shoes and running shoes.

I incorporated A LOT of veggies and a few pieces of fruit into my diet too. My system loved me for this! I'll leave it at that.

All positive right? So why the hollow victory? I've been here before and I fear a repeat of the past. The up and down and all the way around. The true victory will be when I no longer bob up and down the scale but see that downward trend that I've so longed to see. Ya, I'll take the four this week and bid them a good-bye (FOREVER) and move forward.

Dear Universe,

I wish to see the other side of 232, you know the side with smaller numbers. I wish to attend all classes, run the distance and build my muscles while doing ST and do it all being safe and healthy. I'd like to buy baskets of veggies and prepare them in endless dishes of goodness. Please and Thank you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 9/14/2011 4:01PM

    I feel your pain, even though I'm hardly workin' MY program at all...

(Keeping up w/my workouts but that's about it)


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ELSAG83 9/13/2011 4:32PM

    Look at you grab that bull by the horns! Your wishes will come true, celebrate the 4 lbs! You inspire me daily! I always come by your page...so someone is always here cheering you on!

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KINSBAILE 9/13/2011 11:19AM

    I feel the universe will listen and respond! Good for you on this victory!

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ESHERRILL3 9/13/2011 8:14AM

    I have faith that this time will be different. Hand in there. emoticon

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ABB698 9/13/2011 3:56AM

    Congrats on the loss, KT! You work hard & I think your numbers will continue downward. Enjoy your new shoes, you deserved them! Keep Sparking forward!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 9/13/2011 12:19AM

    Keep doing what you are doing and you'll see the numbers you want to see. You had an AWESOME week!! Here's to having many more aweome weeks! emoticon

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PJH2028 9/12/2011 9:43PM

    Your week sounds so inspired. Right- the ebb and flow is part of what makes the world go 'round. You ARE going to great habits your way to the other side of 232 - It's coming. You are DOing this!!! emoticon

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DESERTFLOWER8 9/12/2011 9:39PM

    Awesome! I know you're afraid to believe in the 4 pounds..I get it. But I have every confidence you are going to be charting new territory going forward. Congratulations!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 9/12/2011 8:35PM

    This is a LONG process. Even if all the stars align, it still a process. Four pounds is awesome and you should be SO happy! I totally understand the "bob" because I've been doing it since February. Try and see the positive KT, you're doing great!

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MICRAELIE 9/12/2011 8:24PM

    May all your wishes come true!


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