KT-NICHOLS-13   43,017
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Two things on my mind

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

First Thing:
I currently manage a law firm five days a week 40+ hours a week and keep another law firm up to date and organized five hours on Saturdays. A third attorney contacted me after hearing I can manage his client billings. We did the sniff test and all seemed to be going well. Then the wind changed directions and I started to smell the stench. After doing my due diligence I admitted to myself that the idea of more money was great but the attorney would be a nightmare to work for. He knows just enough to be dangerous and seemingly doesn't mind saving a $1 while screwing the other party out of one. I don't play that! In the end I had to admit, it wasn't going to work. Now the awkward part, for me, letting him know. In certain areas of my life I have absolutely no problem saying and meaning the word no. Other parts not so much. Today I said no to the position and wished him well.

The Lesson - sometimes saying no can be awkward but it can also be freeing at the same time. Saying no can liberate us from our people pleasing ways or our need to self medicate. In general I self medicate with food, working and working out. When I say no to something unhealthy I liberate myself. It's a good feeling!

Second Thing:
I found out that my boxing partner is skipping class again tonight. I'm a bit edgy about it right now. I shouldn't be, she warned me that until September Kite surfing would be her priority when the wind blows. When she cancels I smile and support her choice but inside I'm generally bitter. She brought me in the class so I could spare with her. Now I find myself adjusting to a different partner. Boo!

The Lesson - I'm sure there is one . . .

Tonight's schedule: walking, zumba, elliptical and boxing

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILD22 9/1/2011 1:12AM

    Way to stick to your morals. It is up to you to set the boundaries. Not everyone plays by the same set of rules. Stay true to yourself and you can't go wrong

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KINSBAILE 8/25/2011 9:35AM

    Saying NO is so difficult! I agree!

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/24/2011 11:28PM

    The courage to say "no" to what you don't want is huge...tangible proof of self respect...kudos to you!!!

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ESHERRILL3 8/24/2011 9:57PM

    Bravo for having ethics at any law firm. emoticon

I know it must be a bear adjusting to a different partner. I think you will find that having to do so will make you a better boxer. You have no idea what they might do and that will require you to use everything you have learned so far. You might even learn something new.

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JENJESS48 8/24/2011 8:25PM

    I would say that the lesson here is self-reliance, but you seem to have plenty of that. :) Good for you for not compromising on your values! You rock, KT.

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MICRAELIE 8/24/2011 7:53PM

    Good for you, girl. I know I've beaten myself up in the past just because I changed my mind -- like I have no right to do that, even if it's the right thing to do. I give you credit for listening to your gut and being strong so that in the end you can feel good about your choices.

Poop on your partner . . . but everything changes, doesn't it? The in-between can be challenging, but who knows who your next sparring partner will be? emoticon

Have a great night at the gym.

Michele
emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/24/2011 6:53PM

    Good for you and following your heart. It had to be hard telling that attorney "no." I had a friend who brought me into Zumba so she wouldn't have to go alone, and now I go and she doesn't.... sucks sometimes, but at least I enjoy it! Good luck with your friend.

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PJH2028 8/24/2011 6:32PM

    Oh babey... this is a hot topic. Been there. Will be there again, no doubt. Working with and for people whose ethics and practices go directly against my grain has proved to be impossible in the long term... for me. Compromise, of course. But only to a point.
GOOD FOR YOU!!! Knowing your own heart and mind. Getting clean with my own body:mind connection is re-setting some of these perspectives and focuses for me.

I love it when you share.
Thanks.

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Living

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Sometimes during my journey to wellness I forget to just live and be free. I can define myself and my life by the numbers on my nutrition counter, glasses of water and fitness minutes. Life isn't about all that it's about living, learning and continuing on the journey. I tell myself to be responsible, act responsible and always be accountable. I don't require myself to strive for perfection. If I muck it up one meal or one snack move on - as the Mr would say, "it's done gone bad already, I can't go back now."

Here's Me being honest with myself:
I need a mental break from the scale. I put it away.
Clothing size is a mere guide - not an absolute. Buy what looks Awesome, not because the tag says it's a smaller size.
I do not enjoy running, right now. I have stopped. I might try it again next year.
I have a 10K race in November. I'll be speed walking it.
Boxing is my newest passion - I crave it. Physically & mentally if makes me a better person.
I do not want to be defined by what I will and won't eat. I am determined to make the best decisions at any given moment.
Love life, even when it gets hard and feels uncomfortable. There's a lesson to be learned every step of the way.
When faced with fear - analysis it and then conquer it. Never let it paralyze you - never!
Live!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILD22 9/1/2011 1:15AM

    LIVE!!!!

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MANLEYSANDY 8/24/2011 3:42PM

    Great blog!!

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TINAT247 8/23/2011 7:50AM

    absolutely! The whole point of this is to keep at it, so if the method is making the madness, get rid of it and redefine. You're doing a great job!

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TRENTDREAMER 8/23/2011 7:32AM

    "Sometimes during my journey to wellness I forget to just live and be free. I can define myself and my life by the numbers on my nutrition counter, glasses of water and fitness minutes. "
* ive kind of had to deal with that recently as well.i think those can really get a person on track but cant be something that i live by as a definition.

"I need a mental break from the scale. I put it away. "
* once i hit 195 i will probly do likewise

"I do not enjoy running, right now. I have stopped. I might try it again next year.
I have a 10K race in November. I'll be speed walking it. "
* i got into kettlebells about a year ago and lost steam with them. i recently started with them again and love them again. i now rotate three different exercises that i enjoy so as not to get bored, but if im honest there's one of the three that i only do when i dont feel like doing the other 2.

"When faced with fear - analysis it and then conquer it. Never let it paralyze you - never! "
* i need to do as u say.

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JENJESS48 8/22/2011 10:30AM

    Good reminders, KT. Thanks!

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/22/2011 12:05AM

    I am in total agreement with you! All of "this" is to SUPPORT the music of our life..not to BE our life. Amen, sista! emoticon

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ABB698 8/21/2011 11:05PM

    You are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G and I love watching your transformation!

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Birthday Adventures, Part 2 - Whitewater Rafting (PHOTO HEAVY)

Friday, August 19, 2011

I turned 41 on August 16th and we brought it in by living out loud. The Mr and I took a trip down the middle fork of the American River with class combinations of 1, 2, 3 AND 4 rapids. If you have never been rafting know this, when in a Class 4 rapid you WILL go underwater. You will also pray while trying to stay in the raft a.k.a. holding on for dear life, listen to calls from the guide and paddling. If you love an adrenaline rush, a class 4 rapid will give you that rush.

We checked in at 7:00 a.m., a little blurry eyed with sleep but full of excitement nonetheless. The van ride to the launch site was a brutal hour and 45 minutes. The Mr slept as I endured the torture of bad music and the insistent chatting of a young woman. Once we arrived, I was noticeably chilled. Orientation began and ended in a blink of an eye. At the end we were assigned guides, rafts and raft mates. Due to the Mr and me being a party of two we were paired with another group which consisted of a married couple (we found out later they are in their 70's) who brought along their nephew (in his 20's) and their grandson (preteen). I would later curse this pairing.




The strongest of us carried our raft down to the launch site. It was at this point that I mentally noted how F’n heavy that raft was but I did my part! It felt like organized madness due to every guide trying to get their rafts into the water first. We got to the water’s edge and everyone noticeably gasped and recoiled when our feet hit the water. It was beyond ice cold! My stomach sank for a moment wondering what I had gotten us into but we were committed so pushed on.



Within minutes of the launch we were in a class 3 rapid. The Mr and I were all smiles and feeling renewed! The rapids just kept coming and we kept yelling to the heavens and giggling to no end. The rapid is called Good Morning and then we came up on the Tunnel Shoot. Absolutely AMAZING! The picture’s tell it all.









This is the other side of the tunnel shoot.


Lunch was a welcome break and was actually really good and healthy. I stayed in the shade as much as possible due to worrying about a burn. They told us we couldn’t bring anything thing with us on the trip so I left my sun block behind. Other people broke the rules and brought some and I was not beyond asking to use some if I felt I needed but the Mr was keeping a close watch. Five hours on the water and I was a bit tan but not burnt. WHOOT!




Near the end of the day we had two class four rapids left to run and I was looking forward to them so the cold water would cool me off. What I wasn’t expecting was a nearly flipping the raft, hitting rocks and cascading down a 32 foot waterfall. Ya, that almost happened. As we approached a class 4 rapid - that was a drop in rapid - our guide told us we had to hit it just right or we could flip. We did not hit it just right. Instead of entering it head on and dropping down we hit it sideways and got hung up on a rock. I was on the right side of the raft and when the raft hit the rocks - on my side - it tipped and I was looking straight down at the rocks at the bottom of the rapid. By now our guide was using every naughty word in his vocabulary and shouting out strokes. We failed but did not fall. We made the drop down, in the raft, right side up with our hearts in our throat. The waterfall is not a rapid armatures attempt so we had to get out of the boat and climb a huge rock formation and reenter the boat at the bottom.

Our guide went over the waterfall and it was amazing to see!



Why were we having such a hard time you might ask? Simple, having two 70+ year old people - one of which dove for the bottom of the boat when we hit a rapid and the other one not having any strength when paddling - and a small boy on board we lacked the strength we needed. The rafting company could have done a better job pairing the group. The guide finally righted the situation when he asked another ride along guide to join our raft. Things went much better then.

As in the beginning, we had to help with the raft at the end. I stepped aside when the old man stepped in front of me to help with lifting the raft. RUDE! He quickly found out that he did not have the strength to assist so walked away. I handed him my helmet and told him I’d help at which he said, “you can try.” OH NO HE DIDN’T! I snapped my head around gave him the evil eye and snatched that raft up over my head along with the rest of the group.

They had drinks and a snack waiting for us when we got to the top of the hill. My heart sank as the Mr turned around with a can of soda for me and a candy bar. I took the frozen snicker bar and asked if there as a bottle of water or maybe a fruit drink because I would go thirsty before I popped that can of soda open. In the very bottom of the cooler he fished out a bottle of water - I was so relieved. I ate that snicker bar as if my life depended on it and drank my water. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I took my first bite.



The day was amazing and a complete adrenaline rush.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 8/26/2011 11:15AM

    This is an awesome coincidence that several of my on-line friends all went rafting this summer! My boy & I got in a short float on the Yellowstone (big fun after an embarrassment early on, when I tripped & fell at the water's edge; couldn't right myself in a tight-fitting wetsuit & strapped tightly into a lifejacket!) Anyway, we still had fun - looks like you did too! Great job!

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ESHERRILL3 8/23/2011 10:23AM

    emoticon The pics are great! I know it makes me want to go!

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KINSBAILE 8/22/2011 4:42PM

    That is too cool! Excellent bday fun!

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/20/2011 5:48AM

    SO much fun! I went white water rafting while I was in college, and looking at your pics, I think I'm ready to do it again! What a great birthday : )

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/20/2011 1:11AM

    My stomach was in my throat for the whole read, and now I am totally exhilerated! You look SO happy and full of life with that big smile! Nothing like celebrating a birthday by feeling alive in a BIG way! Congrats , and happy birthday!

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TEDDYBABE 8/20/2011 12:15AM

    You go girl! Happy Birthday and what an adventure!!! Memories!!

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MAGGIE805 8/20/2011 12:10AM

    OMG!!! That is so cool. Happy 41st birthday to you!!! Camp Goodtimes here we come. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Birthday Adventures, Part 1 - Camping!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Mr stated months ago that he had “always” wanted to go whitewater rafting and that’s all it took to plant the seed in my mind. Years ago I had been whitewater rafting, enjoyed it but thought the run I had done then was a bit too soft for the Mr. Why not go big and, why not go big on my 41st birthday?!

While speaking with the rafting company, I decided to book a trip down the middle fork of the American River. The middle fork has combinations of class 1, 2, 3 AND 4 rapids. When in a Class 4 rapid you WILL go underwater. You will also pray while trying to stay in the raft a.k.a. holding on for dear life, listen to calls from the guide and paddling. Why not go big?

After being told Tuesday runs were discounted and seeing that my birthday was on a Tuesday I booked it without hesitation. Why not go big on my 41st birthday?! Stay tuned for full details in Birthday Adventures, Part 2 - Whitewater Rafting!

The Mr has never been camping and I have been looking for a reason to get him into nature so decided to book a night of camping too. I figured one night of “car” camping would allow him to get a taste of the adventure without jamming it down his throat. Baby steps are always best in these situations.

On Monday the Mr was up early and excited about was to come. We set off, on schedule, for the river. The drive there was uneventful. Best of all, we didn’t get lost.

Arriving a bit early for check-in we set out to check out the area and grab a bite to eat.


This is what we didn't have for the night. The Mr wondered why? LOL


This is what we did have.


The Mr before realizing what he'd gotten himself into.


The Mr after realizing what he'd gotten himself into. He's trying to figure out which way to run. *GIGGLES*


Me, after setting up camp.


The view from Chair #1


The view from Chair #2


Wild Berries growing at the campsite


I relaxed & the Mr napped



After building the fire I did cook dinner and I ate S'Mores too. YUM-O!


The heat from the day was replaced later by a cool breeze off the river. I started a fire and enjoyed the warmth. It was quiet and peaceful.

Knowing the Mr as I do, I knew trying to talk him into wrapping up in a sleeping bag would lead to an endless discussion since he was over heated when we laid down. I snuggled down and listened to snores of the beast that invaded the woods a.k.a. the Mr. I drifted in and out of sleep for the night and intermittently prayed I would not have to get up to pee. No such luck. Ever climb out of warm sleeping blanket and tent to feel the cold night air while camping? *GIGGLES* At 3:00 a.m. I discovered the pleasures all over again as did the Mr. When we climbed back in, he rolled over and placed my birthday present on my chest and wished me a happy birthday. Thirty seconds later I hear snores. *GIGGLES* I resisted every urge to open it and rolled over hoping for more sleep. At 5:00 a.m. my brain switches on and tells me to rise and shine ‘cuz you gotta pee again sista! I resist and willed the urge to leave. Meanwhile the Mr stirs and then I hear in plain desperation . . . “Cold.” *FACE/PALM* I wiggle about and get hold of the “other” sleeping bag and wrap him up best I can. He sleeps. I fitfully rest and fall in and out of sleep but the urge to pee just won’t leave. At 6:00 a.m. I finally get up and take the long walk to bathrooms.

Before we break down camp fully, I can no longer resist the gift. I was so excited!



My new MIO Venture - YES!!! The Mr did good, real good!


By 7:00 a.m. we had packed up, changed and reported to HQ for the trip.

Part 2 - Whitewater Rafting coming next.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 8/26/2011 12:45PM

    Hey, a nice air mattress makes all the diff, don't it??

Can't wait to hear all about your new gadget when you have a chance to play w/it!

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KINSBAILE 8/22/2011 4:41PM

    That's totally awesome!

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WILD22 8/18/2011 9:48PM

    sounds fun! I can't wait to hear the rest :)
I'm happy for you to have had such a fun birthday.. a little jealous tooXO

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TINAT247 8/18/2011 9:33AM

    awesome pix, love your spirit, GOOD lookin mr, and a rockin you!!! you look fantastic!!!!!! enjoy every moment!

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ESHERRILL3 8/18/2011 9:02AM

    So fun! I love camping too but haven't been in ages. We are planing a trip in September and will be hiking part of the AT....a small part, lol.

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ESHERRILL3 8/18/2011 9:02AM

    So fun! I love camping too but haven't been in ages. We are planing a trip in September and will be hiking part of the AT....a small part, lol.

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ESHERRILL3 8/18/2011 9:02AM

    So fun! I love camping too but haven't been in ages. We are planing a trip in September and will be hiking part of the AT....a small part, lol.

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JENJESS48 8/18/2011 7:46AM

    What an awesome birthday adventure! I'm with the Mr. on camping, but this *almost* makes me want to try it. Almost. lol!

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/17/2011 11:45PM

    How great! Sounds like a blast! Pictures are lovely..you guys are both adorable and the site is dreamy. Happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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ABB698 8/17/2011 9:35PM

    Loved it! Felt almost like I was there with ya! Love how he placed the gift with you and went back to sleep while it drove you crazy! He DID do good! Woo Hoo for you and the MIO! Did you have quads there? Looked like I saw part of one.....Can't wait to hear about the rafting!! emoticon

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 8/17/2011 8:09PM

    I love camping! Glad you had a good time and the Mr. stayed, lol!

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I still haven't lost hope.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

After three years of bouncing around the same 5 pounds I still haven't lost hope. Last week I weighed in at 233. Yesterday, 232.5. Today, 234. The elusive 229.5 is yet to be mine. Mentally it's exhausting. I'd like to see a downward spiral, please and thank you!

This week I calorie cycled. It didn't help. Last week I ate on the lower end of my calorie allotment. It didn't help. The week before that I ate on the high end. It didn't help.

My workouts are powerful and I spend countless minutes and hours in the gym sweating and working on my fitness. It doesn't help. I take a few days off to rest and all I get is anxious to get back in the gym.

No, I still haven't lost hope. I know I'm stronger and healthier today. I know I'm more toned than I was three years ago too.

I did email Doc today to give him a status update. He'll ponder it. I'll fret over it. Then we'll have a meeting of the minds. My system might need more time? Things don't right themselves overnight when it comes to health so I continue on. I push forward. I will continue to fight the fight!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 8/14/2011 4:25PM

    "I did email Doc today to give him a status update. He'll ponder it. I'll fret over it. Then we'll have a meeting of the minds. My system might need more time? Things don't right themselves overnight when it comes to health so I continue on. I push forward. I will continue to fight the fight! "
* really not sure what to say. i hope that ur doctor has some insights.

have fun camping tomorrow.

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THOCK1 8/13/2011 9:14PM

    Forget the scale for a moment. Are your clothes fitting better? Have you taken your measurements lately? How do they compare to "before?" The scale is not the be-all and end-all. If your clothes fit better, or more loosely, or if your measurements are going down, then you're on the right track, and give yourself a break, mentally.

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DIVALOUNGER 8/13/2011 8:27PM

    Focus on the wonderful level of health you have achieved!!!!! You are a rockstar!! emoticon

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TINAT247 8/13/2011 6:22PM

    We can't focus on the weight, even though it is SOOO frustrating! You're doing right so don't get down on yourself. Just keep chasing pavements because one day you will notice you're shadow is slimmer so be damned with the scale! emoticon

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SGRAY478 8/13/2011 4:21PM

    Way to not quit! I am sure you are frustrated, but don't give up hope. You and your doctor will figure out your body!

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DESERTFLOWER8 8/13/2011 4:12PM

    I give you tremendous credit for your patience, courage and perseverance! At least you know you have created a healthy and strong body beyond all measure! I sure do hope the doc can figure out something re the weight loss...3 years is obscene!Keep us posted...

You are a superstar!! emoticon

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ABB698 8/13/2011 2:40PM

    Your determination and strong will are as rock solid as your workout habits, you're already a winner! emoticon Hopefully your Dr. will have some advice.
Have a fab weekend!! emoticon

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