Thursday, June 02, 2011
I sit on the edge waiting for the forecast as the days pass. The weatherman just keeps repeating the same - Rain. Wind. Cold. Rain. Wind. Cold. I reject the realty and replace it with my own every time. Letís see if it works!
Yes, the forecast looks dark and stormy for Sundayís race. Hereís the realty as I know it today - The weather is supposed to be awful. Yes rain. This isnít an altogether bad thing but add in the wind from the San Francisco Bay and it is downright miserable. *Sad Face*
My energy level is down this week and I feel a bit more brittle so I turn to my trusty calendar. One, two, three . . . crap, Sunday is the 28th day. Yup, thatís right my T.O.M. will be arriving that day. Time and time again Iíve proven that working out during this time does NOT in fact make me feel better and Iíve been brought to my knees while trying to do so.
My inner most voice aka KaT, not the one who whispers, yells this - Well, suck it up buttercup ... nature isn't going to take a holiday for you. *GIGGLES* She's right!
Again, what I believe is my support group will be missing - scattered around and in general, missing in action. The Mr. will drop me off at the ass crack of dawn and then head home to get ready for his day of work. The ďothersĒ are busy or just donít feel like rising that earlier on a Sunday morning to stand around in the potential rain and wind or even sunshine for that matter. It seems everyone is willing to be supportive until they are asked to participate. That's the reality of the situation, and Iíve come to terms with it. I no longer ask the others to participate. I've perfected the art of standing on my own two feet, no matter how scary it can be. (This excludes my SP peeps ... I run with you every time and you always make it to my Zumba classes whether you like it or not. You are my constant companion - ready, willing and able. And you're never afraid to tell it like it is, which I dearly appreciate.)
No matter the conditions, No matter how my inner bits feel, No matter if I stand alone amongst many I will be at that Starting line and I will participate in my own life. When I cross that finish line, be it running, walking, or crawling I will know in my heart that I did it for me and Iíll be better for it.
Never giving up and pushing forward will unlock all the potential we are capable of.
- Christy Borgeld
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
I walk and walk and walk. Then I walk some more.
Lately the most asked question is, "Do you walk everywhere?" The most frequent comment, "I see you walking all over town no matter what time of day - rain or shine." *SMILES*
Yup, I've got me the best reputation in town! My favorite mode of transportation is using what I was given. Soon I hope to add to the list, "Do you run everyday?"
This is my "walking double" - *Giggles*
Enjoy the day!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
This week I realized that I'm falling out of love. Then I ask myself, if I was ever in love or just in love with the idea of loving. HA! I have a 5K race June 5th and I've been refusing to run. I avoid the treadmill like it's a death trap and I used the unexpected rain to stop me from running outside. After all, I might melt if rained on.
I have two races this year, the aforementioned 5K and a then a 10K in November. Both races will be completed regardless - I don't sign up and then not participate - nope, that's not me. If I start it, I'll finish it. That being said, I might have to do intervals while participating but Iím okay with that. Whatever gets me to the finish line I will do!
Maybe this is a phase? Maybe I"m just burnt out? Maybe I just fell out of love for running? I just donít know, so I am doing a lot of reflecting.
While on the elliptical the other night - still my favorite machine ever - I watched a young woman on the treadmill. To me she was a beautiful runner. Her body moved in fluid motion. Her feet touched ever so softly on the belt. Her breathing was smooth and controlled. I enjoyed watching her from a far, all the while admitting I was a bit jealous.
Running is hard for me. I pound the pavement, my lungs ache, my mind wonders, and I am no where near achieving "fluid motion." Probably normal for a "newbie" - I find it uncomfortable.
I'm a realist and I know if I keep at it things will improve. After all it's been almost a year since I started down my running path and things have gotten easier. I run, and when I say run I really mean jog, at a faster pace than I ever have before. I logged a PB not long ago so I know I'm improving. My breathing has improved and my lungs donít ache as bad. Best of all, the leg cramps have subsided. Yet, my brain and heart are disconnected. My brain pushes me to keep running but my heart just isn't in it. I think thatís the key to all of this ... my heart and itís lack of passion. I don't care that itís hard - lots of things in life are hard and to that I adjust and move on.
What to do? What to do? The only answer I have, right now, in this moment is this ... keep moving. Whether itís slow or fast just keep moving. Never stop looking for your passion.
"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart." ~ Author Unknown
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