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The forecast looks dark and stormy

Thursday, June 02, 2011

I sit on the edge waiting for the forecast as the days pass. The weatherman just keeps repeating the same - Rain. Wind. Cold. Rain. Wind. Cold. I reject the realty and replace it with my own every time. Letís see if it works!

Yes, the forecast looks dark and stormy for Sundayís race. Hereís the realty as I know it today - The weather is supposed to be awful. Yes rain. This isnít an altogether bad thing but add in the wind from the San Francisco Bay and it is downright miserable. *Sad Face*

My energy level is down this week and I feel a bit more brittle so I turn to my trusty calendar. One, two, three . . . crap, Sunday is the 28th day. Yup, thatís right my T.O.M. will be arriving that day. Time and time again Iíve proven that working out during this time does NOT in fact make me feel better and Iíve been brought to my knees while trying to do so.

My inner most voice aka KaT, not the one who whispers, yells this - Well, suck it up buttercup ... nature isn't going to take a holiday for you. *GIGGLES* She's right!

Again, what I believe is my support group will be missing - scattered around and in general, missing in action. The Mr. will drop me off at the ass crack of dawn and then head home to get ready for his day of work. The ďothersĒ are busy or just donít feel like rising that earlier on a Sunday morning to stand around in the potential rain and wind or even sunshine for that matter. It seems everyone is willing to be supportive until they are asked to participate. That's the reality of the situation, and Iíve come to terms with it. I no longer ask the others to participate. I've perfected the art of standing on my own two feet, no matter how scary it can be. (This excludes my SP peeps ... I run with you every time and you always make it to my Zumba classes whether you like it or not. You are my constant companion - ready, willing and able. And you're never afraid to tell it like it is, which I dearly appreciate.)

No matter the conditions, No matter how my inner bits feel, No matter if I stand alone amongst many I will be at that Starting line and I will participate in my own life. When I cross that finish line, be it running, walking, or crawling I will know in my heart that I did it for me and Iíll be better for it.

Never giving up and pushing forward will unlock all the potential we are capable of.
- Christy Borgeld

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 6/7/2011 8:23AM

    I'm so proud of you for running through those adverse conditions - to hell w/"official" times!

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KINSBAILE 6/6/2011 2:28PM

    I am so very proud of you for accomplishing this goal, I know you've done a few of these but still it must be good to finish!

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    You just keep on doing your thing!! See, here I am on the verge of summer and contemplating adding one additional run each week with my sister, we already meet up on Thursday and Saturday. Here is the problem...during the summer she works these insane 4/10 schedules and we have to run at 3:45 in the morning. You read that right 3:45, but I LOVE running with other people. I hate thinking that I am letting them down by not showing up. I'm much more likely to let myself down-lol! You keep showing up and we will be there with you in spirit cheering you on and celebrating your successes and standing by you during the non-successes. This is a very inspiring blog :)!!

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ABB698 6/2/2011 11:22PM

    Rain, sleet, whatever comes your way, be careful out there cuz I know you will ROCK IT! Best of luck!!

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WILD22 6/2/2011 10:06PM

    I like the quote.
And you really do crack me up.
Well written as always. I don't think I have dealt with the support as you called it. I don't really have anybody but my sparks. I don't have anyone willing to invest the time with me or even do much exercise at all. I think that is what I keep getting stuck on. I do well for a bit and then I get tired of always doing it alone. Then when I get done working out they have all gone on to do something and I have missed out on doing anything with any of them. It get lonely and depressing. I start fooling myself into thinking well I don't want to miss out on something with the family so I will pass on exercise tonight. Or even the one I'm famous for, I'll do it after lunch, dinner, or even after the kids go to bed. After I do this for a few days then I stop working out all together. Thanks for helping me come to this realization. Now maybe I can deal with it head on.
How did you get so smart? lol

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The Best Reputation in Town

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

I walk and walk and walk. Then I walk some more.

Lately the most asked question is, "Do you walk everywhere?" The most frequent comment, "I see you walking all over town no matter what time of day - rain or shine." *SMILES*
Yup, I've got me the best reputation in town! My favorite mode of transportation is using what I was given. Soon I hope to add to the list, "Do you run everyday?"

This is my "walking double" - *Giggles*

Enjoy the day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABB698 6/2/2011 2:39PM

    What a great thing to be know for! You go girl!!! emoticon

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KINSBAILE 6/2/2011 2:06PM

    I wouldn't expect anything LESS from you :)

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JENJESS48 6/2/2011 11:43AM

    What a great rep! Congrats!

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ERIKO1908 6/1/2011 8:54PM

    What a GREAT reputation to have!! Keep on "truckin"!!

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MANLEYSANDY 6/1/2011 7:35PM

    Love it! Before I moved to Arizona, I lived in San Diego and WALKED every where! Can't do that here, to spread out and too hot!


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Conquering my fear of running outside

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." ~ Bill Cosby

Today I decided to take the first step in conquering my fear of running outside.
Since the awakening of the "why" I knew I had to take this fear head on. Why not today? Why not after work? Why not?! So with that seed planted in my mind, I laced up my runners and headed out the door. Distance traveled was 1.69 miles ... I ran/walked and I sucked wind. I ran down one of the main streets in town and avoided another. I passed two different men during my adventure and both smiled and gave me the head nod - *SMILES*! I mapped and logged my time and note that I did a 16/min/mile - slower than my usual pace but you know what - I don't care how fast I was. Today was not about speed, it was about me taking my life back and moving forward. I did that one step at a time.
I'm not kidding myself, the fear isn't totally gone but its hold on me has weakened. And for my next trick ... another run outside on Friday afternoon.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
~ Frank Herbert

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 5/26/2011 8:45PM

    "I don't care how fast I was. Today was not about speed, it was about me taking my life back and moving forward. I did that one step at a time.
I'm not kidding myself, the fear isn't totally gone but its hold on me has weakened. And for my next trick ... another run outside on Friday afternoon. "
* A big step (one after another). Have a gr8 run tomorrow :)

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ENDUROVET 5/25/2011 12:31PM

    That's great! I couldn't resist the allure of the treadmill yesterday, which I need to do my own post about...

But the stuff I'm mixing up is Healthy n' Fit 100% Whey protein powder that I get at Vitamin Shoppe... (Vanilla flavor, the chocolate tastes too "artificial") I had done a lot of research on whey vs rice vs soy (NO!) protein - & wound up w/whey protein.

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JENJESS48 5/25/2011 11:25AM

    emoticon on facing down your fears! It's so important!

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KINSBAILE 5/25/2011 9:42AM

    Excellent start! I ran outside yesterday at work, did 2 miles jogging 1 mile walking. My knee is not happy with me today but I did run a 11 min, 11 second mile which is 11 seconds faster than on my 5K race day! Keep going it's fun to run outside. I don't do it as much because of allergies to be honest. And training on the treadmill really works for me.

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ABB698 5/25/2011 1:50AM

    emoticon You go girl!!! You rock!!

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ERIKO1908 5/25/2011 12:25AM

    I'm proud of you!!

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Rooftop Zumbathon

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Today was the day for a new adventure! I attended my first Zumbathon in San Francisco on the rooftop of Lombardi Sports. I'm the one with the long turquoise tank. The Mr took this short video near the end of the session - fatigue had set in.

By 12:30 p.m. people were already guarding their spots.

They had free drinks, t-shirts and power bars during the event.

There were eight instructors and we danced from 1:15 to 2:50. The weather was beautiful with full sun and a breeze. We took two breaks that totaled 2 minutes - it was enough time to grab something to drink. My legs were like jell-o when we finished. Yup, I danced the whole time. :)

I was all smiles when it was over! The Mr told me I did great during the class and said I looked fabulous. (Love Him) I thought I did great too! And, I can't wait to do it again. BRING. IT. ON.

Oh yeah, I was a crispy critter when I got home.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BBGYRL4 5/31/2011 5:19PM

    Looking great!! I'm glad to hear that you had a good time and dancing on top of a roof is pretty awesome!

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TEDDYBABE 5/24/2011 6:44AM

    That looks like fun and you DID look great! You have got the moves girl! That's so fun!

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TRENTDREAMER 5/23/2011 8:55PM

    "I was all smiles when it was over! The Mr told me I did great during the class and said I looked fabulous. (Love Him) I thought I did great too! And, I can't wait to do it again. BRING. IT. ON. "
* I should re-visit iZumba!

Glad u had a good time.

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KINSBAILE 5/23/2011 8:45PM

    THAT IS AWESOME! I hope we have something like this near me!!! I would love to do a Zumbathon! BTW you look AMAZING! :)

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HEALTHYME47 5/23/2011 11:09AM

    That is so cool! I've never heard of a "zumbathon" before but it sounds like fun!

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ERIKO1908 5/22/2011 11:47PM

    Sounds like a great time!! Glad you enjoyed yourself!!

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CAREN_BLUEJEANS 5/22/2011 9:48PM

    Wonderful! I wish I was in SF, too.

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Whether it's slow or fast just keep moving.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

This week I realized that I'm falling out of love. Then I ask myself, if I was ever in love or just in love with the idea of loving. HA! I have a 5K race June 5th and I've been refusing to run. I avoid the treadmill like it's a death trap and I used the unexpected rain to stop me from running outside. After all, I might melt if rained on.

I have two races this year, the aforementioned 5K and a then a 10K in November. Both races will be completed regardless - I don't sign up and then not participate - nope, that's not me. If I start it, I'll finish it. That being said, I might have to do intervals while participating but Iím okay with that. Whatever gets me to the finish line I will do!

Maybe this is a phase? Maybe I"m just burnt out? Maybe I just fell out of love for running? I just donít know, so I am doing a lot of reflecting.

While on the elliptical the other night - still my favorite machine ever - I watched a young woman on the treadmill. To me she was a beautiful runner. Her body moved in fluid motion. Her feet touched ever so softly on the belt. Her breathing was smooth and controlled. I enjoyed watching her from a far, all the while admitting I was a bit jealous.

Running is hard for me. I pound the pavement, my lungs ache, my mind wonders, and I am no where near achieving "fluid motion." Probably normal for a "newbie" - I find it uncomfortable.

I'm a realist and I know if I keep at it things will improve. After all it's been almost a year since I started down my running path and things have gotten easier. I run, and when I say run I really mean jog, at a faster pace than I ever have before. I logged a PB not long ago so I know I'm improving. My breathing has improved and my lungs donít ache as bad. Best of all, the leg cramps have subsided. Yet, my brain and heart are disconnected. My brain pushes me to keep running but my heart just isn't in it. I think thatís the key to all of this ... my heart and itís lack of passion. I don't care that itís hard - lots of things in life are hard and to that I adjust and move on.

What to do? What to do? The only answer I have, right now, in this moment is this ... keep moving. Whether itís slow or fast just keep moving. Never stop looking for your passion.

"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart." ~ Author Unknown

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 5/21/2011 7:51AM

    "What to do? What to do? The only answer I have, right now, in this moment is this ... keep moving. Whether itÔŅĹs slow or fast just keep moving. Never stop looking for your passion. "

* Life is often about building a plane while it's flying. Sometimes a week off gives the body a chance to recover. Maybe look into something similar to skiing.

It really does stink when something that used to be enjoyable becomes monotonous.

Best of fortune on both of the races.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 5/20/2011 2:09PM

    Between my beloved, the elliptical, 4 Zumba and 1 Step class a week I do get lots of aerobics. I have looked into swimming this summer. I'm not sure what the pull towards running is about so I sit and think about it. I give myself until the end of 2011 to figure it out. By January 2012 I'll know if I'm stopping. Again, that race in November 2011 has to be completed ...

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ENDUROVET 5/20/2011 1:56PM

    One of my riding buddies who is also a FB friend just announced her desire to run the White Rock marathon & I am consumed w/jealousy...
I'm a horrible clumsy slow jogger, but I certainly love the way it makes me feel - for the most part, AFTERWARDS! but maybe you just need to find a better aerobic exercise?

Cycling or swimming, maybe?

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KINSBAILE 5/20/2011 1:50PM

    I think there are ins and out of running. I have never seemed to dislike running. I just love it. I wish my knee loved it more! :) I think you'll come back to it!

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BBGYRL4 5/19/2011 7:37PM

    I personally cannot stand running, I hate it but I know that it's good for me and that it has some great benefits so I do it. I think that maybe I don't love it because I don't do enough of it, I believe it's possible to do something just enough to hate it but not enough to love it. I hope that you, and I, come to a point of loving running but in the meantime like you said just keep moving.

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MANLEYSANDY 5/19/2011 4:57PM

    I ended my relationship with running several years ago. I felt it was holding me back from exercing all together. I would dread running, and then feel bad if I did not give it my all and run when I did exercise. So then I would just not exercise at all and I would end up feeling guilty. Anyway, a viscious cycle and my own stuff all mixed up there, but I think it is good that you recognize it, you are so strong. It is a continued lesson for me to learn, but I know that as long as I move it does not matter how fast!!!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 5/19/2011 1:38PM

    I think running is like all relationships. Sometimes it is hot and passionate, but then there are the times when you are staying together just because you are committed to the relationship. If you can get through the rough spots the relationship comes back to life with more strength than before. You've got this and you are committed to it so you'll get through :).

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