KT-NICHOLS-13   43,017
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KT-NICHOLS-13's Recent Blog Entries

I'm a fighter

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I'm a fighter.

I don't curl up in a ball and hide when things get tough. I might recoil a bit but I never hide. I'm a fighter.


I don't sleep my troubles away or even hide under a blank. I'm a fighter.



I won't be boxed in or trapped. I'm a fighter.


I will love myself. I will love you. I will always support you. When I feel down and low I'll feed off your victories. I'll embrace your love. I am a fighter - for you and for me.


I AM a fighter! I WILL overcome. I WILL win. I gotta keep moving! It's what a fighter does.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIVALOUNGER 3/27/2011 2:47PM

    I almost forgot, I am working with the anti-inflammation diet--

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DIVALOUNGER 3/27/2011 2:47PM

    Love the Kitty! Hang in there and keep going!

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WILD22 3/24/2011 11:33PM

    Roll with the punches baby That's what a fighter does. Sometimes they do need to go to their corners to regroup. I will always be in your corner cheering you on. My money would be on you! emoticon

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ABB698 3/24/2011 12:50AM

    You are definitely a knock out! emoticon

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TEDDYBABE 3/23/2011 9:07PM

    A fighter and truly an amazing lady! (love the kitty pics)

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ENDUROVET 3/23/2011 5:21PM

    I guess I consider myself more of a LOVER than a fighter, although most of the time my friends would label me as crotchety curmudgeon!

(Thanks for recent comments; knowing that someone's reading means a lot)

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TINAT247 3/23/2011 1:57PM

    You're awesome!!!!! And we're in this together, glad you're in my corner!

emoticon

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KINSBAILE 3/23/2011 12:56PM

    Awesome blog! You are a fighter!

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MIQUEY73 3/22/2011 9:49PM

    Love it!

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KITHKINCAID 3/22/2011 1:40PM

    Yes! I love your kitty - he's so cute!

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If tears were rain drops

Monday, March 21, 2011

If tears were rain drops my world would be flooded.

Lunch with the boss left me silently stunned after being told I'd be loosing my assistant, 10%, if not 15%, of my pay due to the firm being in financial trouble. After 10 years I can see the writing on the wall and the stress on the faces of the powers that be. My boss is a poor money manager and a man with big dreams - add that to a market in the tank and the conclusion is crash and burn. I'm a realist. He's a dreamer.

My reaction was cold. Indifferent. Stone faced. Suddenly the "we" became "yours." I disconnected. He watched uncomfortably. I let him wonder.

I am the sole supporter of my household. All things money revolve around my income and all future plans revolve around what is - not what could be or might be. Things will change. Expenses cut. Luxuries, all be them small, will be stricken from the budget. It's gonna get tight and uncomfortable for a hot minute. Yet, my silver lining ... I still have a job and a smaller income. I still have my Saturday job that pays for the little extra's.

I have yet to tell the Mr. He's on his way to the office now so I can break the news to him face to face. Plus, he has to bring my gym bag. If I could escape to the gym right now and loose myself in a Zumba or Step class I'd be most happy. Yet, I must wait for that happy release to come.

As we returned to the office the tears started to flow. The stone turned to water and if tears were rain drops my office would be flooded.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALIKIKI 3/23/2011 3:51PM

    I am so sorry to hear your news.

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KINSBAILE 3/23/2011 12:54PM

    Sorry to hear this news. :( I am grateful that I have a good job.

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ENDUROVET 3/23/2011 12:34PM

    Damn! Sorry I don't have anything profound to say, but hang in there babe...

(My DH had an unexplained & unexpected termination just last Fri, we're still in shock)

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MIQUEY73 3/22/2011 9:11PM

    So sorry!!! {{HUGS}}

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MANLEYSANDY 3/22/2011 2:16PM

    I am sorry to hear that! Stay strong!!!

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KITHKINCAID 3/22/2011 1:02PM

    So sorry honey. The world isn't being very kind to you right now is it? Find strength in the struggle, I'd say - but you seem to have struggled enough! Sending good vibes your way - however much that helps.



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WILD22 3/22/2011 12:42AM

    You have my shoulder if you need it. Everything happens for a reason. There must be something else in store for you.
emoticon

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MADDIE10281 3/21/2011 10:15PM

  I was laid off last summer after giving my employer 20.5 years. What I learned was that while I was faithfully going to their job everyday, i had made them my source. God is my source and will provide when no one else will. God Bless You

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TRENTDREAMER 3/21/2011 9:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

Really sorry to hear.

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HORSECRAZYKK 3/21/2011 9:27PM

    Oh dear KT. This is bad news and so many are finding their world changing very drastically. You are strong inside and it shows. A women facing adversity and you were able to see the good in all of it. And that is what you have to do. You will make it through this.
A hearty hug from Virginia!
Kim

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TEDDYBABE 3/21/2011 9:08PM

    Oh friend, so sorry to hear this. Seems like tough times just coming everyones way lately. When will all this stop. Your silver lining will always be your survivor personality. I am truly sorry. Wish I could do more, but the shoulder is always here. Hugs.

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SOFT_VAL67 3/21/2011 8:32PM

    this sucks!!! i am so sorry for this happening to you and to so many others in this country right now.....where is that silver lining for this whole country....
i am glad u can still feel like working out, most ppl would be in bed with covers over head....
i am sometimes a pessimist, but i am going to say, sometimes doors close, others open...i hope you find this to be the case.

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JENJESS48 3/21/2011 6:45PM

    I'm sorry, honey. You'll find a way to make it through.

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BBGYRL4 3/21/2011 5:50PM

    I'm sorry to hear about what happened at work. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that things get better for you soon. emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 3/21/2011 5:47PM

    HUGs and glad you could find the bright side, you have a job ect. I know what you are feeling sort of. I have to go for a 2nd mamogram and I am praying there is nothing wrong. Not just health wise but I too am the soul worker in our family now due to hubby having severe depreesion anxiety. so add not having an income come in and eeeks.
So between worrying if I have cancer and how we wil pay the bills. I do totally understand where you are coming from
HUGS

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Time

Friday, March 18, 2011

I'm trying to figure out how to find the time.

Time to run.
Time to play.
Time to eat.
Time to Zumba.
Time to step.
Time to sleep.
Time to work.
Time to strength train.
Time to self-care.
Time to love.
Time to ...

My life feels packed and I have friends who ask ... "Don't you just want to relax?"

Time you are fleeting. I'm always chasing you; yet, I don't want you to stand still.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 3/20/2011 5:44PM

    Definitely a struggle.

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ABB698 3/20/2011 12:11AM

    I'm with ya on this one for sure! But make sure eating right and exercising are included in your me time, we can relax when we get old if we stay healthy now...LOL
Have a fab weekend! emoticon

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TINAT247 3/19/2011 9:48AM

    loved the pic! time is irrelevant, it will pass despite our best efforts. you're in control choose the most important things and don't let time be your dictator.


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TEDDYBABE 3/18/2011 10:18PM

    So true, and then I read the other day, we all have the same 24 hours in the day. So it then becomes priorities. When the busy corporate wife asked her busy corporate husband to run with him, his answer was, I don't have time. She decided he didn't have his priorities set for health.

Good blog! Have a great weekend friend. Have a song for you to add to your playlist. Want to send it to you. Will email it.

Hugs!

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HEALTHYME47 3/18/2011 7:47PM

    Time is the most precious thing we have!

And yet, each of us is given the same amount per day (24 hours).

It's so hard to fit everything in, I feel ya.

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KINSBAILE 3/18/2011 2:39PM

    Yes, we are a slave to time. Aren't we? We gotta get to the bank on time, to work on time....

When do we have time to relax? I rarely relax very easily.

My bf helps me though.

You are a sweetheart for commenting on my blog with encouraging thoughts! I am very nervous but think I will do JUST FINE!

*HUGS*

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Mid-Month Check-In

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I'm thinking about giving my scale a break. Letting it collect some dust. Letting it feel neglected. Just for a bit so I my brain and heart can mend.



What I won't do is give my workouts a break. That scale might not budge in the right direction but I know I'm stronger. I can do things today that made my body shake and my lungs burn earlier.

So far this month, I have:

Attended 9 out of 9 Zumba classes. My face might be serious in class but my heart giggles with glee. The sweet runs off of me. I must be doing something right.

Attended 3 out of 3 Step classes. I can step with the best of them. I move with ease and my lungs no longer burn. My intensity has increased and my steps are even higher.

I can knock out 60 sit-ups a day without my legs shaking and my abs hurting when I sneeze. So far this month, I have completed 780 sit-ups.

My arms are stronger. My back more toned. I can knock out 60 push-ups a day while balancing on a ball. So far this month, I have completed 600 push-ups.

While I used to be lost trying to do strength training, I now embrace the journey by using the SP bootcamps. I enjoy the burn in the wee hours of the morning while the quiet still lingers outside. So far this month, I have completed 10 mornings of bootcamp.

I choose my two feet to move me through out my day and I've logged 15.9 miles.

So, no matter what that scale says. No matter how I feel. What I know is ... I am stronger. I am fitter. I am healthier.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINAT247 3/19/2011 9:50AM

    see, you know yourself better than that damn scale! kick it to the corner for a much deserved time out! breathe, keep working toward your goals,, and enjoy the journey!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KINSBAILE 3/17/2011 2:52PM

    Way to go! Just tell the scale to take a time out! It LIES anyway.

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MIQUEY73 3/17/2011 12:56PM

    emoticon What a great way of looking at it! You're doing awesome! Keep it up!

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HEALTHYME47 3/17/2011 10:09AM

    You are rocking those workouts! You ARE losing fat and gaining muscle and the scale is not all-knowing about these things. I think it sounds like a great idea to take a break from the scale. Also remember that 80% of your results come from nutrition (according to my trainer anyhow). You ARE being successful so just remember that.

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SWAN47 3/17/2011 12:48AM

    emoticon You have a great sense of humor and attitude. Hang in there because that dusty scale will tip downwards. You are also stronger mentally...I can tell by your blog! emoticon

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Tossing Darts into the Dark

Monday, March 14, 2011

Dear Doc:

I took a break.

The new supplements sure weren't doing anything so I stopped taking them. Maybe it was too soon to tell but I just couldn't do it anymore. I felt like my spirit was slowly dieing with all the hard work and money put into this and showing nothing. Mentally I needed a break ...

I have not given up hope, just needed a break.

I have been saving money to order the test for retesting. I should have that completed by months end. Maybe that will show us something?

I continue to count my calories and drink water everyday.
I continue to workout six days a week ... cardio & strength training.

No inches lost.
No weight lost.

I am still on a break.

Thanks, KT
_______________________

The roller coaster ride I've been on for what seems like a lifetime has taken a turn and entered the house of horrors. My whole process feels like we are tossing darts into the dark. Does anyone have a flashlight I can borrow?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRENTDREAMER 3/16/2011 9:19PM

    emoticon

Sorry to hear emoticon emoticon

I hope that this doctor is able to find whatever it is.

Thank you for your friendship and support this past year.

emoticon emoticon

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MAGIC10FINGERS 3/16/2011 12:41PM

    Are U talking about possible Lyme's Disease? IF SOm I know of some1 U can talk to! He was a client of mine that was having issues & when I'd massage him, he would get fevers. Found out HE had Lyme's Disease! It's amazing what he did for it & is NOW helping others that have been diagnosed with it. Let me know if U need more info!
hugs

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WILD22 3/16/2011 10:20AM

    I saw the last post by KITHKINCAID on your page. I am also being tested for Lyme disease. They have also found a link to pain from it. No results yet though. BTW, we live backing onto a forest. I have had many ticks picked off me and so have the rest of the family. Gross huh?? emoticon

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TEDDYBABE 3/14/2011 5:54PM

    Just don't give up. Keep searching. Nobody knows you as well as you do. I have lots of flashlights. Will hold one for you as long as it takes!! Hugs!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 3/14/2011 5:24PM

    Yup, it is crazy.
As far as changing ... This is my third Doc. He specializes in all this fancy crap and I'm not sure how to find someone else. He was the Doc that all the others pointed too. I'm just praying the second round of testing shows something or that my body just gives in and gives up holding on.

At this point, it's a mental drain - I'm exhausted.

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KITHKINCAID 3/14/2011 3:49PM

    This is crazy. Any thoughts about changing Docs?

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