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It's about that time

Saturday, February 26, 2011

I stopped running. There I said it. When I left for the Holidays to go back to the midwest I had all intentions to run while there but it didn't happen because I choose not to. Two weeks of no running was hard on me. I came back and jumped back in the game only to experience painful, fetal position, bring me to tears leg cramps in the night. Add to that feet that were so sore it felt like walking on broken glass. I couldn't bare the pain and I wasn't able or willing to push through it. At some point running became a chore and I wished to quit, so I did. Truth is, I miss it. The sweat that runs down my spine and the glissen on my face when done is addicting. It's not a workout that comes easy for me. I run hard. I'm not light on my feet and I litterly "pound the pavement" no matter how hard I try to do different. It's about time to give it another try.

I rewarded myself with a new 5K playlist no long ago and everytime
I play it while walking, or using the elliptical, I picture myself running.

The 5K reward list is:
Firework, Katy Perry
S.E.X., Nickelback
This Afternoon, Nickelback
Shakin' Hands, Nickelback
Not Meant to Be, Theory of a Deadman
Dynamite, Taio Cruz
Gimme More, Britney Spears
Higher, Taio Cruz
Raise Your Glass, P!nk
Fighter, Christina Aguilera
Halfway Gone, Lifehouse
I Like It (feat. Pitbull), Enrique Iglesias
More, Usher

I'm finding the fight within me again. I had my little girl fit yesterday. Yup, I tossed myself down on the ground & had myself a good ol'fit ... see my emotional breakdown in the previous blog ... today I move forward. Two more days until I move into my super charged workout schedule ... in March I'm gonna kick butt. There will be running, zumba, elliptical, SP bootcamps, sit-ups, belly dancing, step aerobics, and walking.

Working out is only one part - I'll also concentrate on my food intake and the emotions that come with all of this. Eat healthy and feel what I feel - good, bad or otherwise. Rewards will come by way of more music, a massage or two and possibly new workout clothes.

I don't know if this new plan will smash the damn plateau that I've been on but I do know it will make me feel better.

I am the only one in my way. It's about that time ....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITHKINCAID 2/28/2011 1:20PM

    Great playlist girl - way to go!

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HEALTHYME47 2/27/2011 10:58AM

    Yay you! Love your attitude. Also, thanks for the running playlist ideas. I've been just starting to get back into running after several years away. Boy is it harder than it used to be. But I'm up to being able to run for 16 minutes consecutively, I just keep adding on one more minute each time so that I don't overdo it and injure my knees (which have a history). I was going to work on my iPod playlist today - it helps so much when you have songs that are energizing, a good beat, etc.

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TRENTDREAMER 2/27/2011 8:55AM

    Sorry to hear about the running. When I first came back to the gym after a few years, Zumba was a good gateway. Mourning the loss of an ability such as running is a healthy thing.

Have a great rest ofthe weekend!

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ABB698 2/27/2011 3:15AM

    Time to kick butt and take names again! I know you can do this!!! emoticon

Love your playlist!!

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ENDUROVET 2/26/2011 10:01PM

    I have been desperate for a good run (4 mi last Wed), but life Has Not Been Cooperating...

Hang in there!

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ERIKO1908 2/26/2011 9:55PM

    You got this!! Dealing with what is going on in the brain is half the battle. You just need to stay strong!!

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My reward for all my hard work - a gain - ya that hurts.

Friday, February 25, 2011

How does someone who eats unhealthy, never works out, drinks sugary coffee daily, and ops for diet coke rather than water drop 13 lbs.? REALLY?! SERIOUSLY, how does it happen? I don't have the answer but I know it happened because my BF sent me a text message that this very thing has happened for her.

I know, I'm not to compare myself to others and I should do my own thing and feel good that I feel good ... Blah, blah, blah. I work my tail off at the gym, I walk when I can, eat healthy, weigh/measure my portions, track my water/food, drink water and no soda. I dropped adding sugar to my diet and stay away from gluten/dairy/eggs/soy. Today marks the 26 day in a row that I've worked out and I was rewarded with a .5 gain - not only a weight gain but that tape measure had no love for me either. Fun Times!

From all the love in my heart and a place of support I sent back a text message letting her know how great the news is because in the end I do support and love her even if I don't support her lifestyle.

However, in my own mind I toss my hands in the air and ask the how and the why?! I'm so stinking mad that I could spit nails. Sadly, I have no one to be mad at so I'm just mad and you know what, a little sad. Nothing makes sense in the world of weight loss, gain or maintenance.

The whisper is back and it giggles in my ear ... "you'll always be fat, no matter what."

It just hurts right now.

The good news of the day - I rearranged my Saturday work schedule so I can now attend a zumba class. I'm supper excited to have a class to go to. Plus, I'm going to make a massage appointment for Sunday. Gotta pamper myself!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 2/28/2011 6:40PM

    Ugh, I feel for ya babe! I found this great blog by a "maintenance" person:

http://justmaintaini
ng.com/

Lots of comforting scientific-type information there - it seems to console me somewhat as well. I know I've been far from perfect these past 11 mos, but overall have created some good new healthy habits, yet what have I achieved? A net loss of ZERO pounds!

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ABB698 2/27/2011 3:12AM

    Anything worth while is hard work and takes time. It does suck when others seem to not have to try so hard. But this is YOUR journey and you are in charge! emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/27/2011 3:14:34 AM

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HEALTHYME47 2/26/2011 9:35AM

    P.S. You DO realize that you've lost 91 pounds now, right? NINETY-ONE POUNDS. That is absolutely inspiringly wonderful. So what you are doing IS working.

emoticon

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HEALTHYME47 2/26/2011 9:24AM

    Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just ARE. I think it is perfectly normal to be envious of someone who doesn't have to work as hard as you do. It isn't fair but it's life. I am married to a man who was blessed with a ridiculously high metabolism. He eats whatever he wants and does not gain weight. His two sisters are the same way - very thin. Clearly it's in their genetics. My side of the family is not that way at all. Metabolism is what is it is, and the really frustrating thing is that the less you weigh the lower your base metabolic rate is. I've also noticed my metabolism slowing down as I've gotten older. The pounds are just more stubborn in my 40s than they were in my 30s or 20s.

It does seem like everyone goes through plateaus after awhile. BUT, when you read all those success stories, the ones who persevered throughout their plateaus eventually busted through them.

The only suggestion I have, and maybe you are already doing it, is to start tracking sodium. I started doing this and it was a huge eye-opener. I know that sodium isn't exactly related to calories, but I'm convinced that there is something about eating a lower sodium diet that makes it easier to lose weight, I'm talking above and beyond the water-retention piece. I have no scientific evidence of that though.

Hang in there!!!!

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TRENTDREAMER 2/26/2011 6:13AM

    "I know, I'm not to compare myself to others and I should do my own thing and feel good that I feel good ... Blah, blah, blah. I work my tail off at the gym, I walk when I can, eat healthy, weigh/measure my portions, track my water/food, drink water and no soda."

* I know your frustration. I've been on both sides of this.

I lost 25+ pounds before joining Spark. We're talking no exercise, absolutely no tracking, no vegetables, barely any fruit and eating out at the mall food court almost every night. This was a couple of years ago.

The first 10 pounds were easy. Basic consciousness of eating and making one or two minor changes yielded huge results. I don't know how much weight your friend needed/needs to lose, but I was in the ballpark of being morbidly obese. The weight often just comes off more quickly at first.

You and I have been working at this for awhile and it gets much tougher as we get healthier, have exercised most of our options and get closer to our goal weight.

That being said, again I understand the frustration. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DEECANDOITAGAIN 2/25/2011 9:55PM

    I know you know all this, but it does happen to just about everyone at least once during their weight loss journey. It happened to me last week. That's why your blog title got my attention. I had upped my cardio and stayed withing calorie range 6 out of 7 days and ...gained a lb. THEN I got out the tape measure since I only measure once a month, it never lets me down...and...I GREW! It was the weirdest thing ever. I think the only reason I didn't freak out was because it just didn't make sense. So, here I am a week later and that lb. plus another one are gone forever. I know this will happen to you too if you stay the course. Persevere and make progress, not perfection. As for your friend; just love her and be there to catch her when her lifestyle catches up to her.

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KITHKINCAID 2/25/2011 8:25PM

    I was over working myself for a while and it was reflecting negatively on the scale. Once I relaxed my schedule a bit and therefore relaxed my attitude about things, I started losing again. I don't know what your deal with Doc is, but I'd cut back to 3-4 days a week and just keep eating healthy. Take your rest days and relax your brain about everything for a while.

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THINKINBOUTME 2/25/2011 8:22PM

    ya that sucks, I'm not sure what time frame she lost that 13lbs but if it was in less than two months you can be sure it wasn't fat. It had to be water and muscle and judging by the "diet" she is following that is most likely what it was. People that drink high sugar/sodium foods have great weight fluctuations because of water retention, just one day of drinking extra water for them can make them lose a lot of water weight which they put right back on. I bet you could ask her in a week or so if that 13 lbs is still off or not and the honest answer would be no. Also 3pds of FAT=1lb of MUSCLE, you are probably gaining muscle which means a higher resting metabolism (which is GREAT). I had the same problem with the tape measure/scale last week and forgot that there are other places I had measured. I did not lose in my waist, but I did lose inches everywhere else. ANYHOW keep up the healthy way to weight loss and in the end you'll be a big winner. emoticon

Comment edited on: 2/25/2011 8:26:02 PM

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TEDDYBABE 2/25/2011 8:04PM

    You are doing all the right things. You know we are all designed differently. I think you are awesome and very motivational to me. Maybe to your BF too? And your heart is beautiful. She is lucky to have you as a friend. Zumba away! emoticon

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Me & Zumba

Friday, February 25, 2011

Full disclosure ... As I walked to the gym last night to go to my very first zumba class I repeated the following, "Please let it be canceled tonight - please, please, please!" Followed by, "Really? Me and my two left feet are going to Zumba? Really?" LOL!

My step aerobics instructor gave Thursday nights zumba instructor high praise for instruction and clarity and most important - fun and energetic. Based on my own interests, SP chatter and my step aerobic instructors recommendation I went.

When I arrived it was me, two other students and the instructor - the room felt empty ... I'm sure my eyes were wide as saucers. (choke) I planted my feet and stood my ground, I was there and I would not flee the scene. Soon after that the room was flooded with others. I was hidden. Hidden from those banks of mirrors that line the walls of the classroom, seriously they can give Anyone a complex. I don't mind if people in class see me misstep - we all start from somewhere.

I wasn't perfect and I giggled a lot to myself at my missteps but I also had lots of fun. My step aerobics teacher attended the class and asked me after if I had ever attended a zumba class. When I told her no she confessed that she watched me during the class and thought for sure I had attended before due to "knowing" the steps. I even got praise from the instructor too. (SMILE)

Did I fall in love with zumba? No. But I liked it a lot. I'll go again and again and again until I love it. I equate it to my step aerobics experience 6 years ago ... I didn't love it when I started but I liked it enough to go back again and again. Now I can step with the best of them.

My gym offers zumba three nights a week and on Saturday mornings. At this point, I'm going to rearrange my work schedule on Saturdays so I can attend zumba.

I needed something new and fun to add to the list of "things to do" at the gym and I found it. Glad I finally jumped in. I have lots of options now, maybe going to the gym won't feel like such a chore.

My next wish ... from my mind, to this blog, to the universe ... that the belly dancing classes at the gym be held at a time I can actually attend. I enjoy belly dancing and it's a good workout. I need to talk to my boss about scheduling.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITHKINCAID 2/25/2011 3:24PM

    Hurray! Another Zumba convert. For the record, Zumba and running are the BEST cross-training exercises and doing both will make you better at both. Have fun!

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SMILEYSKIP 2/25/2011 3:19PM

  Its always good to have more options, instead of the same old things! I hope everything works out with your schedule

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Standing Still

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Life has been a struggle of late. Bad news. Good news. I am indifferent.

Walking to the gym feels like Iím walking to my death. Last night I walked and walked. Then I stood. Staring. Standing Still. Watching those inside glide on the elliptical. Run on the treadmill. Chatting. Laughing. Scowling. Moving. I stood still. I watched. I thought. Finally, I walked. I found the front door and in that moment I paused. I paused - I stood still - trying to decide if I would go or stay. I stayed. I climbed the elliptical and found my settings. Then I stood still. One word repeated like a jackhammer, "WHY?" Auto-pilot kicked in and my legs moved. I felt the anger rage within me. I moved. I seem to chase the "why." I rage against it until my head hurts, my feet ache and my eyes burn. I rage. Rage does not equal rebellion. In standing still I can quiet the rage. I can channel it. Workout harder. Eat well. I Rage against the machine and I thumb my nose at conventional wisdom. If Plan A, B and C aren't working I move on. "Plan O? Watcha got for me today?"

Standing Still I see the world. My reality. Then I move ... forward.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 2/25/2011 9:55AM

    Yes, so many times I find myself wasting time & avoiding The Moment of Truth, which is stepping thru those gym doors...

Great post!

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ABB698 2/25/2011 1:10AM

    Take a stand against being stuck and move forward. You are more powerful than you realize. You are strong, you are woman! (Now where's your frying pan? emoticon LOL

Enjoy your weekend!!!

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TRENTDREAMER 2/24/2011 9:01PM

    Hey there!

I'm sorry. I don't really understand what you wrote, but am glad that you got your workout in.

I really appreciate your friendship and support these past few months.

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RUNNER12COM 2/24/2011 4:25PM

    You are more powerful than you can imagine. Hang in there.

SDJ

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BEXTRESS27 2/24/2011 2:22PM

    Yep. Sometimes you gotta pause, assess the monster, and then attack randomly, furiously, and without logic or reason. emoticon That's how I play video games, at least...it works. emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 2/24/2011 2:05PM

    I am so sorry you're struggling. I wish I had more to say, but I feel bad because I'm not in the same place as you are and I know how frustrating it must be!

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ELSAG83 2/24/2011 2:03PM

    This was powerful and I think it speaks for a lot of us. This is how many of us feel. You know why you're different than many? You switch your auto pilot on and ignore the stubborn questions and do it because you know it going to work towards your mini goals and overall goal. The best thing is that this rage pushes you harder in your workouts and that's fantastic! You're inspiring keep it up! *hugs*

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Mid-Month Check-in

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My original Plan ...
February Plan:
Match or better my monthly mile totals. ( 48.3)
Bootcamp for minimum of 28 days.
Sit-ups = 10 a day for the 1st week, 20 a day for the 2nd week, 30 a day for the 3rd & 4th week.

The reality as I know it as of February 15th...
Miles thus far: 37.44
SP Bootcamp - 15 days and going strong. (there have even been some 2 a days)
Sit-ups completed: 390 - Currently up to 50/day (the original #'s became too easy so I had to kick it up a notch)

The fact that I've added in Strength Training has been a huge success and I plan to keep it up even after February has closed out. (There I've said it out loud, I can't take it back. HA!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELSAG83 2/18/2011 5:22PM

    You have done a great job on staying focused and on track. Keep it up. I know you're grinning because you've kept up with this. It's mental and you're POWERFUL! *hugs*

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ABB698 2/18/2011 1:49AM

    Wow, you are rockin it! Fabulous!! Keep pumping it up!! emoticon

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GEEKYGRANDMOMMY 2/16/2011 3:38PM

    You go girl. Strength training is awesome.

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DIVALOUNGER 2/16/2011 1:56PM

    Really great work!! You are an inspiration!

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KITHKINCAID 2/16/2011 12:35PM

    Haha - I felt the same thing about ST. I hate it, but it's necessary.

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HEALTHYME47 2/16/2011 9:22AM

    Great work! Your February has been outstanding so far and I'm sure you'll finish up strong too.

emoticon

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