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Breath deep, blink, breath deep, blink ... repeat

Monday, December 06, 2010

Breath deep, blink, breath deep, blink ... repeat. If you were in my head this morning as I walked to work and then to the bank that's what you would have heard. It played on a continual tape. The sadness and emptiness swallowed me whole this morning and it was all I could not to break down in tears as I went about my business. Don't get me wrong, I love a good cry but I love that cry to be in a private location and not on display for the world to see or react to. I'm not sure where it's all coming from so I'll ride the wave and see what comes up for me. Something has triggered me but I don't know what the trigger was or what was actually triggered. For the love of all emotions I'll feel what I feel and stay present.

I've already created my fitness goals for 2011, which I did while on the elliptical yesterday.

So far I've come up with the following:
March, 5K run
June, 5K run
November, 10K run

Friday night a young man (half my age) told me that I was "hot" and he liked that I was "thick." I smiled. Yes, I'll take the compliment!

Saturday the Mr and I bought our Christmas tree. Fun times!

Sunday we went shopping and I bought a few sweaters from Old Navy. I was surprised to find out that I fit into a Large. Woo Hoo.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITHKINCAID 12/8/2010 3:19PM

    I know what that emotional purge wave feels like - ride it to the max lady - it means good change is on the way!

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DIVALOUNGER 12/6/2010 4:53PM

    Just show up and do it everyday! You are on a streak! emoticon

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It's time to clean out the closet

Monday, November 29, 2010

Old man winter has finally found my little corner of the world and it's chilly outside. We don't run the heater much, too cheap to pay for it, and we can generally get warm and cozy with a simple pair of socks and a sweatshirt. That's of course when we are at home.

Over the long holiday weekend I took the time to clean out and up the place. I took out 2 trunk loads of stuff to either sell, donate or trash - Amazing. It takes a lot to let go but my mind finally reached the point of, "it's just stuff, it's not who you are." There are of course sacred items from family that will live with me for my lifetime. I'm still not done with this process, my deadline to finish is Friday at 11:00 a.m.

I didn't get to my clothes closet, yet. It's time! It's amazing how my body can shift, tighten, tone and even drop a few pounds but some of those clothes are still ill fitting. The first skirt I pulled out fit like a sausage casing. Sexy. It's now in a ball on the floor. Frustrating. It's time to clean out the closet and figure out what fits, what makes me feel beautiful and what really needs to go. Hanging onto something because it's pretty but doesn't make you feel pretty is just wrong on so many levels. If I let it go, someone else can benefit and I can move on with my life.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAGIC10FINGERS 12/4/2010 9:41AM

    It feels good to purge. I did that the wk b4 TG, when our weather finally turned wintery. I've taken many bags to our local 2nd hand store, making me feel even better to be donating to help a struggling local business. I too tend to have a hard time "letting go" of certain items, but sometimes we have to dig deep to get rid of the clutter. I'm finally doing that, but I still have a long ways to go!

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THATS_LOVELY101 11/30/2010 6:26PM

    Fit like a sausage casing? LOL I loved that comparison! I know exactly how you feel.

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KITHKINCAID 11/29/2010 5:35PM

    Here here!

I remember going through a bag of stuff that I kept hoping "one day" it might fit me. A lot of the items I kept because, like you said - they were pretty. Turns out, even when they do "fit" - they don't fit. So now since I've been living without them anyway it's been easier to say "OK - I wore it and it still doesn't fit right, so it's going bye bye."

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3LITTLEBUNNIES 11/29/2010 1:23PM

    You have motivated me to look through my closet today. I have been putting it off forever. I have clothes waiting to be worn as well as clothes that are now to big, but I like them and have held on to them in fear that I may need them again. They need to go....because I won't be needing them again!!

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LASIE1 11/29/2010 1:16PM

  You know that is exactly how I feel. We hang on to stuff just because it's pretty. And I know about the ill fitting clothes I have a bunch of them. I think that you have just made me realize that I really just need to get in there and get rid of stuff. I have to much anyways. Thank you for your inspiration and good luck on your journey

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Race Day Photo's thoughts

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Today the race photo's from the November 14th 5K race are available.
I actually chuckled when I pulled up my photo's. Photo's at my first 5K race taken by the "PRO-fessionals" were just awful. I was terribly disappointed, I didn't order and I wouldn't show anyone the on-line versions. Boo! Of course, I was more self critical then too. Oh how things have changed since June 2010! I LIKE IT!

Today I had a few thoughts about the photo's. First, yup, that's me in all my running glory. Two, the jacket around the waste should have been left in the car (I already knew that - it was a bother). It was around my waste because after the morning chill disappeared it felt like an oven on the course and apparently I run "hot." (Good to know for future races.) Three, race pictures really aren't that pretty. Seriously, the photographer is taking "up shots" as we run by. Up shots are so unflattering! And, let's face it, running a race is not like walking the cat walk - it's work and for some of us it's hard work and it's going to show on our faces. Plus, I won't speak for any other runner but when my giggly bits are out there for the world to see in tighter fitting pants and shirts than I normally wear in public and I'm running things are bound to be a little out of place. HA! Oh sure, some of the women running that race look fabulous in their photos. Their running grace has actually been captured on film and the glow of their energy shines through. I admire them and I love to look at their photo's. In the back of my mind I heard the whisper, "you'll be that one day, the graceful runner and your photo's will capture it." I smiled.

Yup, my race day photo's aren't brilliant, I don't really shine (unless you count the sweat on my forehead) but you know, I am going to order one.

EDIT AFTER POSTING: Sadly I can't copy any of the photo's from the e-mail to post here. When I receive my ordered photo I'll scan it and add it to my photo gallery.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 11/29/2010 10:36AM

    Man, I'm with you! Photographer actually got a couple of decent pix of me at my 1st half, but that was 5 yrs & 15 lbs ago...
At last March's local half, I look exactly as I felt: fat & tired & struggling along in pain!
I didn't buy any but my MOM did - count on Mom to always support you, through the good n' bad... I'll try to scan in a few.

Likewise, most of my ride photos are distinctly unflattering; one guy I swear has a true talent for catching my chest on the "upswing".

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KITHKINCAID 11/24/2010 2:14PM

    I totally agree with you - my race photos are HORRIBLE. I actually look like I'm in pain/giving birth on the race course mid stride. Hilarious. I just had to laugh though - there will be future "pretty" race pics, but the ones I took after the race with my friends are the ones for the record books this time around. I think my mistake was attempting to smile for the camera since by the time they actually took the photo, my smile had contorted into this horrific look of pain and anxiety because I was trying to breathe! Haha. Glad you're still ordering one. I passed this time on mine.

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Playing with the incline

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I almost skipped the gym last night ... thinking there were more important things to be done. Yeah Right! I am so glad I went. I cranked it out on the elliptical for 25 minutes to warm up. Then I headed over the treadmill for a run. Last night my run felt awesome. Everything worked together and I just ran. Near the end I decided to play around with the incline setting, that's when things got intense. HA! It felt good and I pushed myself further and further. I'm working on conditioning, speed will come soon enough. I'll get there one run at a time.

I'm thinking step class for tonight and a short run as well.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 11/24/2010 12:09PM

    Let me see if I can unearth the link to the interval workout I try to do when I'm short on time (works out to about 26 min for me)


That's not the exact article - I had found one specifically for the TM, but I'll have to keep lookin'!

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KITHKINCAID 11/23/2010 6:03PM

    Incline is ROUGH - good for you!

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TXDREAMSPINNER 11/23/2010 4:47PM

    Sounds like a great workout!

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Back to Basics & Thanksgiving Thoughts

Monday, November 22, 2010

I heard a whisper the other day after I nearly lost my mind on Friday when I noted another gain. It was simple, short and to the point - "Fiber!" Yup, that's all I've been hearing - "Fiber!" My system loves fiber and lots of it. A non-SP friend told me that I'm extreme about my fiber intake and she’s right. I can average up to 40/45 grams of fiber a day and my system just processes it with love and affection. Of course, with that much fiber I am obligated to drink extreme amounts of water. If I don't drink the water that love and affection turns into something completely different. HA!

So back to basics for weight-loss!

1. Eat/Drink
3. Sleep
4. Workout

This month, my fiber intake has been low but generally in the 20 grams a day range. My water intake has been low too but generally in the eight 8-oz glasses a day. I can certainly come up with all sorts of fun facts as to why this has happened but I think it boils down to laziness and the weather change. Isn’t it just fun to point the finger at yourself? Boo!

I've brought back my homemade brilliant green spinach smoothie for breakfast. It's packed with all kinds of goodness. I've also stocked up on my favorite high fiber snacks and the fruit bowl is full.

After becoming sick (I'm still hacking) my sleep quality was off. Not sleeping well or enough can slow down the weight-loss process. My sleeping is back on track and it's Refreshing!

My workouts are still full of quality, quantity and intensity. It's a bit of drag to walk to and from the gym in the rain; however, I discovered many years ago that I don't melt. Suck it up and walk!

Thoughts on the Thanksgiving holiday ...
This year I;ll be at home with the Mr. We'll spend a quiet day at home with little, if any, "holiday" food. In fact, my goal is to cook traditional Jamaican food (I know, how un-American) but his birthday is on Friday and we won't be together for that celebration this year. He's flying to see his "mother" (term used loosely), they've not seen each other in 10-years. (Sigh- a blog for a different audience) Anyway, Thanksgiving has never been the same, for me, after I moved away from family 20 years ago. So, this year I'm doing it up Jamaican style to bring in a new tradition. There won't be any leftovers, sugar filled treats or stuffing of the face in our home and for that I am truly Thankful!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILD22 11/22/2010 7:38PM

    loved this blog! You have your goals all set and a fantastic dinner planned. Can't get any more basic than that. You will cruise through Thanksgiving with no problems.

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KITHKINCAID 11/22/2010 5:24PM

    Mmm, I wish I was at your place for Thanksgiving!

Love your fiber plan, just keep up with that water! You're doing great!

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THATS_LOVELY101 11/22/2010 3:15PM

    This sounds like a wonderful idea! I think too many of us try to make being healthy a complicated process and it's refreshing to hear your take on getting back to the basics. Sounds like a great group of goals.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAGIC10FINGERS 11/22/2010 2:19PM

    My body TOO loves fiber! I have what's called a spasmatic colon & if I DON'T get my fiber in?!?! The pain in my butt is unbelievable! Like some1 sticking an ice pick up me. I'm not kidding. BUT, I'm also a lover of water, plain H2O. No added flavorings or fruit in it., so I don't lack in that area, ever.
I LOVE fruit smoothies, I make a healthy mixed berry 1. I'd love to know what U put in your spinach smoothie. Doesn't SOUND appealing, but I'm always willing to try something once. Care to share the recipe?

Sounds great doing a Jamaican tradition. Every1 has their own thing, enjoy!

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