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Friday, November 19, 2010

When I first stepped onto the scale this morning that's the message I got .... Err. REALLY? I should have stepped off and put the scale back but I didn't. What I did was reset it and stepped back on. This is the time I find out the universe is cruel and heartless - a gain, another gain. SERIOUSLY?! The familiar feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger flood every part of my body and then my mind becomes tainted. Two straight weeks of gaining .... CRAP! After doing it right, being sick and running a race. REALLY?!

This is when I find out what I'm made of!

The universe can Suck It, along with the scale. I'm moving on, continuing to head down the path of eating well, working out and finding my happy place. I can't dwell on this minor set back. I won't dwell on it - it's an energy suck that will lead to bad behavior.

I'm moving on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITHKINCAID 11/20/2010 12:13AM

    The last time I got mad at my scale I bought a new one - haha.

It will get better - just keep plodding along :)

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STACYBH 11/19/2010 10:52PM

    I experienced the same thing these last two weeks. This fall weather makes it hard to maintain the same amount of motivation for me. I just want to curl up into a ball and go to sleep. I had to make myself run this morning because I knew it was going to rain this weekend. I brought my German Shepherd puppy with me and she chewed through her leash twice so I finally had to stop running after about 1.5 miles.

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JENNYBETHIN 11/19/2010 8:45PM

    You can do it! We believe in you! Even if you don't believe it yourself! emoticon

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ENDUROVET 11/19/2010 12:59PM

    Oh yeah - I just HAD to torture myself this AM, why oh why? I KNEW I felt bloated...

(1.2 lb gain)

Yep, life ain't fair, not one little bit...

Hang in there!

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MAGIC10FINGERS 11/19/2010 12:39PM

    There are many other ways to measure your progress. How are your clothes fitting? Have U taken measurements recently? U are doing all the right things so it could be ANY NUMBER of reasons why it's being uncooperative. I've been dealing with the same thing, so hang in there. Just remember how good U feel doing all the right things. Don't let that scale ruin your day. It's TGIF!

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DIVALOUNGER 11/19/2010 12:15PM

    Hate the scale! Keep doing that which makes you feel good! Keep going! You are going great guns!

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LISSA-CRAVES 11/19/2010 12:05PM

    The scale is just another trick of the body. Way to go to move on. I am not sure if you read the blogs here but this one might interest you. She does a great job explaining that muscle weighs more than fat!! Lots of visuals too.


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ZANBALL 11/19/2010 11:54AM

    Your post made me smile!! I know how frustrating this can be for you - I have had that ERRRR so many times myself!

But you got it sooooo right - to #$#@! with the scale & keep going!!

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I RAN the 5K Mermaid Run, SF!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Let's start this at the beginninng which is not at 6:17 a.m. when my alarm sounded today. No this story really starts earlier in the week when I started to get sick. I fought it off as long as I could but even with my positive energy and the well wishes put into the universe from my SP peeps I did get sick. My throat was thrashed, runny nose, chills, a cough and conjestion - by Friday afternoon I was miserable and left the office early.

Friday night Mr and I went to the Usher concert - it was Fabulous! What wasn't fabulous was the three and half hours of concert fun at venue that had recycled air and smoke machines. My throat was raw when we left and my chest felt like I had a 20 pound bag of wet sand sitting on top of it. My sleep was deep that night.

Saturday I woke up early to feed the fur balls and then promptly took a 4 hour "nap." When I woke up again I immediately started to drink hot tea to loosen up the chest congestion and sooth the rawness in the throat. It felt like I was drinking shards of glass again! By 2:00 I was feeling better and was anxious to go into The City to find the race location and pick up my race packet. Mr and I found the location with no problems. I picked up my race packet and chatted with the race cordinator about iPod usuage. I found out that ipods are discouraged due to the course being a tight one and open to the public (it was important we could hear what was going on around us for our own safety) but use of them do not disqualify you from the race. YES! I ended up buying a new running outfit - pants and shirt that I abosuletly love - plus, I got a discount due to being in the race. I was thrilled that I could buy off the rack clothes at this store but had to try things on to prove to myself that the XL running shirt would actually fit - it looked really, really small. And those pants, I just looked at the sales lady with the eye of "yeah right, those will fit?" and amazingly they did. (Sometimes in my minds eye I'm still quit large.) I was exhausted by the time we got back home and ended up going to bed early. The cough came back, my throat dry, the weight on my chest now felt like a 50 lbs bag of wet sand and my nose just didn't stop running, I was a hot mess. I woke up in the middle of night in a pool of sweat - yup, a Fever had taken hold! WTH!?!

That brings us to today ... Race Day! The alarm went off at at 6:17 a.m. - it was still dark. My body ached and my chest felt heavy until I took the hottest shower my body could stand. I was out the door by 6:55 a.m. with my turkey bacon and hot tea in hand. I was told to arrive early to find parking, they were expecting it to be dicey, so I didn't want to be late. Traffic was a breeze and I made it to the race site in 25 minutes and scored a parking spot directly across the street from the start line. I had to admit my morning was going well so far! I sat for a minute gathering my thoughts and nerves ... there were a lot of people out already - biking, walking, running and playing with their dogs. Then I heard the whisper - "They are ALL going to see you run today!" I blocked it out as I strapped on my ipod and set out for a warm-up walk.

Getting ready to warm-up

I met some amazing women before the race - the positive energy was at an all time high. I heard the whisper again, "You're the only big girl here and everyone will see you run today!" I glanced around and took in that most of the racers were slimmer and trim, I stood my ground and I raised my chin a little higher. I'm a runner, I will run today!

Before the race

At 8:37 a.m. the line began to form behind the starting line. My pulse quickened. At 8:45 we all started to move ... here we go! I had set my ipod to my 5K play list and when my feet started moving I hit play. When I was free of the pack I kept telling myself to run my race, run my pace, don't get caught up in the moment. When I was free of the pack my lungs tightened. When I was free of the pack I wondered what I was doing here today. LOL.

Most the race was run on a dirt beach path which felt amazing, by far my favorite surface to run on, and a small portion on blacktop.

I got to the first turn and kept pushing forward, kept trying to breath. I ran. The track was open to the public so we were weaving in and out of non-race runners, walkers, dogs, strollers and even a few cars - that kept us on our toes. When I reached the two mile marker I glanced at the time - right on pace. Keep running! Keep running! The water tables seemed too far away. My mouth was dry. My lungs were on fire. Sweat was pouring off me. It was hot. Too hot for SF in November. Finally water! No, wait ... what did I just drink? YUCK, that was NOT water. Keep moving. Keep running. At this point I felt like I was running a 5K race while breathing through a straw. Then I heard Tim McGraw ask, "how bad do you want it ..." Oh yeah, I want this Tim and bad enough that I'm going to keep on running. Thanks! When I made the second turn it suddenly felt like someone shoved a hot poker in my lung ... I almost went down. I almost hit my knees. I almost vomitted. I pulled up to a slow trott and tried to take a deep breath. Nope, that made it worse. CRAP! Do NOT walk - keep running! Tears welled in my eyes as the pain increased and took my breath away. I stretched my upper body as I ran and prayed. The pain subsided a little. I reached the second water table that actually had water ... that took some of the fire that was burning in my throat and chest. One young volunteer, a boy of 13 or 14, looked at me and smiled and simply said - "you can do this, just keep running." I almost cried. It was so hot! By this point I was drinched. Crap, there's the camera guy - smile! LOL. The crowd was amazing ... they cheered us on and made each one of us feel special. I made the final turn and tried to sprint it out but at this point it felt like I was running the race while breathing through a tiny little straw - the kind you mix-in cream or sugar into your tea or coffee. Then I heard my name over the loud speaker ... Congratulations KT! I finished. I ran the 5K! Against the odds today, I ran the race. I ran my race.

After the race

When I walked in our front door the Mr asked, "Did you win?" I smiled and replied, "I did win! I won my race." It was left at that ... the truth is, I did win my race.

My stats: Placed 42 out of 57 in my age category. Overall I placed 265 out of 373. Finishing Time, 47:37. Pace, 15:22/M

Finishing time today, 47:37
My first 5K race (June 2010) my finishing time was, 49:34

I won my race today!

The first half of the course

The second half of the course

The finish area

They didn't give out finisher medals but rather finisher necklaces. They are very cute. I'm going to have the year engraved on the back of mine.

Even being sick, I logged a personal best today ... Imagine what I could have done had I not been sick!

emoticon I'll find out on St. Patrick's Day when I run my next race.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILD22 11/19/2010 11:16AM

    I am finally back on SP after a week of feeling sorry for myself. I looked you up to see if you blogged your run. To my delight you did! You are proud of yourself and rightly so!! I have every confidence that you will knock your own socks off in March!! I love the course you got to run. Is it always open? We are taking the kids to California next year. I would love to meet up with you and go for a run. Maybe I can find a time to go when there will be a race going on. Anyways, I am so amazed by you and your strong will. You were not feeling the best but you still ran your race and never gave up! I know what it is like to run when you can't breath. You are a star for sure!!! emoticon

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DIVALOUNGER 11/17/2010 1:11PM

    I just read your blog. What an inspiration! Congratulations on just about every level that I can think of!

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THATS_LOVELY101 11/16/2010 1:40PM

    What a smart thing to ask the race co-ordinator. I wouldn't have thought about bringing my ipod to a race, but as you've proven it can be very inspirational. I can imagine it would be very hard to go without after training that way. Great blog!

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ENDUROVET 11/15/2010 9:58PM

    Fantastic! I knew you could do it!

Great job!

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KITHKINCAID 11/15/2010 4:18PM

    Congrats on your amazing race! You buckled down and did it through the pain - that's amazing!!!

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MOTIVATED-ME 11/15/2010 1:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

Well done!!

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Me vs. Sick ... Sick won

Friday, November 12, 2010

I just received the last e-mail update for the Mermaid Run in San Francisco. Tomorrow the Mr and I will drive into the city to 1) find the location 2) pick up my race packet and 3) find the parking lots available. I anticipate Sunday morning will be a bit crazy down there and parking is at least 15/20 minute walk from the start line. I'm okay with the walk, it'll be part of my warm-up, what I'm trying to avoid is race day panic in trying to find parking and the actual location.

Yesterday the boss decided to close down early, Yippie! I walked over to the gym. Arriving at the gym 3 hours earlier than normal was odd at best and I discovered new and interesting people there. I ran for 21 minutes at a faster pace than normal and it felt great. I also worked the elliptical for 35 minutes, it's still my favorite machine. The weather was great yesterday making my walk home enjoyable.

I took Mr to the doctor, he's been down and out since Monday. Ends up that he has the flu. (sigh) Not much to do but rest and recover. He got a flu shot, his first ever, and we headed home.

This morning our new ball of joy, Roadrunner, had me up at 6:00 and I knew from the start something wasn't right. In the fight of Me vs. Sick, Sick won. My head is foggy, throat scratchy, nose & eyes runny and a slight chill. The two fur balls ate breakfast while I took a snooze on the sofa. I woke up in time to make a little something for breakfast and get ready for work. I've been drinking hot green tea all morning trying to get that scratchy throat to calm down. The glands have returned to normal size so that's a plus and it doesn't feel like I'm drinking shards of glass anymore. I plan to leave the office a tiny bit early today to go home and nap. Stupid Cold!

My weight is up today but at this point I just see it for what it is, a number and it will change next week for the better. Too many factors are contributing to the rise and I can't do diddly to change what was but I can control how I react to it. Keeping working hard and be accountable.

We have a packed weekend and it's not the time to be sick! Tonight we are going to the Usher concert. Tomorrow into the city for a look around and I might work a little. Sunday morning is the race it starts at 8:45 a.m. (I'll be at the start line on Sunday regardless, I won't miss this race), and then in the afternoon a party at a friends house (our hairstylist comes and we all get our haircut). If needed I'll pass on work on Saturday to rest.

EDIT AFTER POST: I've been taking my Vit C & D this afternoon which has help A LOT with energy. The throat is better and the nose is tender from all the blowing - LOL. I'm on the road to recovery?! LOL

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITHKINCAID 11/12/2010 9:52PM

    Glad you're feeling a little bit better tonight. Good luck on your race on Sunday!!!

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MANLEYSANDY 11/12/2010 3:05PM

    Feel better and have fun at the race!

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I am NOT sick!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Monday I felt off. The kind of off that affects your workday, your mood, your workout. I figured I was recovering from my fun filled weekend of out town and that my lungs were recovering from all the second hand smoke. After a discouraging run, cut way too short, I wrapped my brain around the fact that my lungs were really in pain from the smoke which made everything a bit harder.

I certainly was not sick!

Tuesday I felt a little better. I even ran a 5K, logged 20-minutes on the elliptical and a mile walk to and from the gym. After my workout my energy was off the charts. I did some house work and stayed up late playing with Roadrunner.

See, I'm not sick!

Wednesday I could have napped at my desk at work. The kind of nap where you lay your head down, drool on the desk and snore a bit because your that far gone. I didn't. My throat felt awful all tight and tender and when I drank water if felt like I was drinking shards of glass. After work I went to the grocery store. I felt guilty for a hot minute for skipping the gym until I went home put the groceries on the counter, sat down on the sofa and promptly fell asleep for an hour. I even went to bed earlier than usual, skipped reading and fell asleep with the cutest little kitty snuggled up beside me.

I CAN NOT be sick, I have a race on Sunday!

That cutest little kitty woke up at 5:55 this morning - he's always the first one up and loves a good pounce. We quickly exited the bedroom before he could pounce on Mr's head (it's happened before). When taking my pre-breakfast supplements my throat was on fire and glands felt like golf balls - well, that's not normal. (sigh) I whipped up a glass of hot salt water and started to gargle, that calmed the flames. Within the first hour of being awake I fed the two fur balls, they fought (still trying to adjust to each other), I ate a bit, and then I promptly fell asleep on the sofa.

I am NOT sick!

Hot tea and Tylenol has helped. It's a slow day at the office, thankfully, so I can go a bit slower myself. I'm determined to go to the gym tonight, if anything to workout on the elliptical.

I am NOT sick ... I can NOT be sick ... I have a race on Sunday! I will not miss the race. Come ran or shine, sickness or health I will be at the starting line and I will run.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SINCEKINDER 11/11/2010 10:36PM

    Good luck with your race. You have such a great attitude.

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ENDUROVET 11/11/2010 8:50PM

    Mega doses of Vit C! High doses of Vit D if you're not already taking that (3 - 5000 IU)

Rest as much as you can, but conventional wisdom holds that as long as you're not febrile, you can run...

Hang in there, I was feeling ragged today after another piss-poor night's sleep (hubby's snoring drove me to the couch @ 2:45 AM), so I gave myself a rest day...

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TRENTDREAMER 11/11/2010 8:39PM

    "I am NOT sick ... I can NOT be sick ... I have a race on Sunday! I will not miss the race. Come ran or shine, sickness or health I will be at the starting line and I will run. "
* Best of fortune to you on the race. Hope that you don't get sick.

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ANGIESDIET2 11/11/2010 4:53PM

  I hope that you are not getting sick and can make the race. Be strong and good luck!

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KITHKINCAID 11/11/2010 3:01PM

    Poor chica! I had the same fear before my race, but it sounds like you really might be coming down with something. I use a natural remedy called Congaplex. You may need to ask your doc about it, but I SWEAR by it. Even if you already have a cold, it moves it through your system WAY faster (a horrible cold I had a year ago was gone in 2 days after I started on it). And it's natural, so it's not loaded with chemicals and anti-biotics like Zicam or any of those other ones. I started taking it 2 days before my race last week and so far I've had no throat tickles at all. That tightness in my chest last week went away totally. Hope you feel better!

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SHIMMYHIP 11/11/2010 2:15PM

    Hopefully you can make your race. Just take great care til then. emoticon

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BFMONICA 11/11/2010 2:11PM

    I'm pushing through a sinus infection and back muscle spasms. Right now I feel like I'll never get better. I like your positive attitude. emoticon

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I was a hot mess of anger and bitterness as I worked out

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Last night the dark side of life sucked me in and I still can't put my finger on the trigger! I was a hot mess of anger and bitterness as I worked out. Everything seemed harder and to take longer. I ran 1.1 miles and then finished up on the elliptical. I was discouraged by the run - it should have gone better and I should have been faster.

I keep picturing Meg Ryan's character in "You've Got Mail" as she flits around the back of her shop, fist pumping in the air, saying "fight, fight, fight!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEDDYBABE 11/10/2010 9:46PM

    Great blog, thanks for sharing this honesty. I think we have all been there!

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KITHKINCAID 11/9/2010 5:52PM

    i had a not-so-great run this morning too. it's hard not to get mad at yourself for it, but you gotta "fight, fight, fight" through it :)

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ENDUROVET 11/9/2010 5:07PM

    The weirdest bubbles of emotion burst out of me nowadays when I am working out...
I'm not joking when I call it "my therapy"!

I broke out in tears today on the elliptical, watching an old episode of Law & Order... A character reminded me of MIL #1, whom I keep on pledging to get BACK in contact with - now she's old & sick & very fragile; I don't have much more time.

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