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Eating out

Friday, May 21, 2010

I have a girls day out planned for Sunday and we are planning on going out for lunch, SIGH.
Why the sigh? I'm so looking forward to a day spent with the girls but the eating out is such a chore. I've been looking around on line for places to go and I've been struck silent that many places don't have nutritional information available and those who do are really, really scary!!

I mean really what do they do to a baked potato to make it 440 Cal. or a piece of fish to make it over 1200 Cal.? REALLY?! It's no wonder I eat at home. Many of the main's have calories that are equal to what I eat in an entire day! Amazing.

I think we are going to go to the Elephant Bar (unless I find a miracle place) - I can piece together a lunch that won't blow my calorie bank or make me eat salad only.

I can do this .... knowledge is power!



Friday, May 21, 2010

Yup, I lost weight .... I went from 238.5 last Friday to 235 today! Standing in all my glory this morning I was smiling ear to ear - excitement surged through my entire body. I even told the little voice in the back of head to shut up when it started whispering about not making weight for the new health insurance ... the physical was to follow about an hour after my own weigh in. I didn't want to hear it - I was going to celebrate my moment regardless!

The physical was to take place at 8:30 a.m. at my office (lucky for me they come on site to do their thing). I arrived via Cloud 9! 8:30 came and went, then she phoned to say her prior appointment ran late. Sigh. In short, she arrived closer to 9:30, my first reaction was to postpone her again but something in the back of my head said to get it done.

I got a little surprise that helped ease a little more of the stress ... When she measured me for my height she asked what I thought, I said 5'4 without hesitation - nope I am 5'5. WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?! This is a whole new game now. That height and my current weight means I passed that part of the test for the new insurance company. I was all smiles for the second time. YES!

In addition to my height and weight she also took my blood pressure (122/70 - perfect). She drew blood and took a urine sample away for testing. I get those results in about 10 days. Yes, I'm requesting the results for my own records and to pass along to Doc.

Unless something else brings up a red flag I should be approved for the different health insurance.

The pressure has been lifted, I made weight! I made weight!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTFLOWER8 5/21/2010 8:19PM

    Oh my gosh, KT! That is just fantastic news~(both that you grew an inch emoticon, and re the insurance)!! Honestly, your insurance story has been haunting me since I read it! Your numbers are fantastic..WAY TO GO!!!!

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MANLEYSANDY 5/21/2010 7:53PM

    Congratulations on your hard work!!!

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It's like washing my soul clean

Monday, May 17, 2010

The weatherman got it right - it's cold and rainy today.
Funny, not so much ha ha funny but funny in a sad kinda way, how ones mental state can match the weather outside. I wish it were warm and sunny out or maybe I just wish I could turn my frown upside down and blink away the tears that fall down my face.

I don't often cry anymore but when it happens the flood gates open and it's hard to control. I breath deep, I blink a lot and I try avoidance. Sometimes none of it helps and the tears just fall.

emoticon That's okay, it's like washing my soul clean.

So what does this have to do with my journey, nothing but everything. So often in the past I've been an emotional eater, you know, stuff it in and down and feel little or any of the emotion. Now I seem to do the opposite - I often just stop eating and drinking. Neither situation is healthy - mentally or physically.

Interesting how I punish my body and use food as a weapon against myself. It's cruel and unusual punishment for something I care and love so very much. I'd never treat another living soul this way so I wonder why do I do it to myself. The answer lies within but I haven't found the key that unlocks that door, yet.

My goals:

emoticon Feel what I feel, even if it's sad and hurtful.

emoticon Hydrate

emoticon Simply eat

emoticon Sit with myself and listen

emoticon Be my own cheerleader, even on days when I can't find my pom-pom's

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TSEWARD 5/21/2010 3:42PM

    Fantastic goals. I have yet to master 'feel the feelings'...they terrify me, or fill me with so much anxiety that I want to numb it with food.

surely there are better things to do than eat!

Thanks for continuing to shw us all that it can be done, and for sharing your rewards!


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DIVALOUNGER 5/19/2010 12:26PM

    Keep feeling . . . it is the only way we know what is real. Hydrate, exercise, be with yourself, be awake, truly awake. Remember that we all love you and want the best for you! emoticon

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MANLEYSANDY 5/18/2010 6:39PM

    The answers are behind those locked doors...sometimes opening them is just has hard as finding the keys...It is an essential part of the journey, as we cannot unlock our future with out opening into the past!!

You can do it...we are all here for you!!

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DESERTFLOWER8 5/18/2010 10:43AM

    I love this post..you touch on the most important issue we all face. But it sounds to me like even though you don't feel you have found the key, in fact, you have...you have... emoticon

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SINCEKINDER 5/17/2010 11:34PM

    You can do this...I hope you do feel cleansed.

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TIGGERRD 5/17/2010 7:56PM

    Your goals will help you on your journey to self-acceptance and self-love. We all have tough days, and sometimes a good cry is so helpful. Hang in there as there will be brighter days ahead!

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68 Minutes!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Today I walked 3.84 miles in 68 minutes! I am getting ready for my 5K walk/run on June 5th.
I meant only to walk the 3.1 miles but got sidetracked as I normally do when walking the neighborhood. I am extremely happy with the 68 minutes. My body and mind feel good!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTFLOWER8 5/16/2010 11:44PM

    YAY!!! Great job!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good for you!!! emoticon

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SINCEKINDER 5/16/2010 10:28PM

    Good JOb!!!

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LISALIVING1980 5/16/2010 9:46PM

    ME TOO!! I did 4 miles in 70 mins!! GO US!! lol

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1SHEYLA 5/16/2010 7:10PM

  Good for you!

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The Big Picture; Staying Focused

Friday, May 14, 2010

Staying focused on days like this is hard for me to do. I mean the big picture is right there - I keep telling myself to look up, it's right in front of you. Keep your head up and you will see it!

As far as weight loss, well the scale didn't move - in either direction. Okay, this happens from time to time. TOM is about to show up, if on schedule - midweek, so the scale not moving is actually impressive. I've been known to rocket up the scale by 10 lbs. in a blink of an eye when my TOM comes about. So yeah, no movement is good today.

Fatigue, today is a down day. (insert yawn here) I felt if coming on last night in step class, at the beginning of class I felt like I was knee deep in wet sand. I finished the class strong though and took my time walking home.

Realization. I have to pull the trigger and complete the GI test. It's really, really expensive so I've put it off. Enough of that! As my husband says, "shut your eye and just do it." I hate spending money but I hate the state I'm in even more so I guess it's time. Next week I shut my eye and make it happen, HA!

Health Insurance. I won't make weight for the new health insurance. It's just not physically possible in a week to from 238.5 to 231. I've come to terms with it. The new insurance company is paying someone to come out to draw blood, take away a urine sample, blood pressure and my height and weight. I can obtain the results from the test and plan to do so. It can only help me keep my eye on that big picture. I currently have health insurance so I won't be without, just need the change. We have options, which is more than some in this country.

I took a look in full length mirror today and stopped to admire myself. Lookin' good is what I heard a voice whisper. Yeah, I am - strike a pose!

5K race. I am going to ask a friend if she can be there when I finish. My husband can't and my family lives out of state. No one has offered to come from the area so it's time to extend an invitation.

The rest of life's going's on is a source of temporary frustration. The key word there is, "Temporary!"


emoticon Workout daily - you have a 5K coming up - work it out lady

emoticon Stay hydrated with lots of water

emoticon Eat healthy

emoticon Relax

emoticon Enjoy the little things in life that pop up

emoticon Stay focused on the End Game

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTFLOWER8 5/14/2010 11:43PM

    I am so impressed with your attitude! Sounds to me like you are doing a great job at managing the "facts" of life that sometimes cause us to be so disappointed, that we end up sinking into it and sabatoging all the good we have done. I think you are so inspiring for doing your 5k, and I know you know that if the scale didn't drop this week, it is only a matter of weigh-ins till it does...you know how it plays games like that! Anyway, just wanted to say I think you are awaesome!!

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TSEWARD 5/14/2010 6:26PM

    Very nice!! I got a kick out of TOM. I'm thinking, who is TOM? Then I caught on...yes that definitely messes with the scale. I like the lookin' good pose. And your goals. Enjoying the journey is SOOOOOO important, and is something I often forget to do. Otherwise, why stay on the journey? You are setting a good example for us all. And a 5K? WOW. I am impressed. I am behind on reading your blogs so I may have missed something. Keep me posted!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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