Saturday, September 19, 2009
I've noticed a change in procedure at most of my doctor's offices, they no longer tell me they are going to weigh me, they ask if I'd liked to be weighed.
When asked I usually bit my tongue, while thinking, "no, no I don't want to be weighed - I have no real interest in having my day start off on a bad note because of a number on a scale. AND, I haven't went to the bathroom in case you needed a "sample" and I ate breakfast .... plus, I don't have the right clothes on to get weighed (I'd rather be in my birthday suit, thanks)."
What ends up coming out is, "no thanks, let's just keep that a secret".
I've been to the doctor a little more than usual (nothing serious) and the nurse usually smiles and responds with a chipper, Okay. But the last time I was there they didn't think it was so cute .... I got weighed. The same thought went through my head as I was, at the very least taking off my shoes, and getting ready for the weigh-in. I took a deep breath, stepped on the scale and looked to the heavens. I REALLY didn't want to know the number.
In the end I looked .... not at the scale but at my chart when sitting in the "little room", in all my glory, waiting for the doctor to come in. The number - 238 lbs.
Okay, I didn't fall off the table and I didn't burst into flames OR tears. I set an immediate goal - you have 1 month to lose 5 lbs. - make it happen girl!
In one month I'll be back at the doctors office and I won't ask them to keep it a secret .... I'll just be better prepared (and dressed) and step on the scale.
Better to know the truth then hide from what I think it might be!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My husband and I went away for the weekend, just across the bay to San Francisco. We stayed at The Monaco .... a fabulous place!!
Not wanting to miss an opportunity to play in a swimming pool I checked their website, they noted they did not have one. However, upon check-in we were told the spa hot tub was open from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. I immediately looked at my husband and asked if he brought something to wear in a hot tub, he had - "just in case". I had not.
After getting settled in our room I announced we should go out for a walk and see if I could find a bathing suit. After all, I didn't want to drive all the way back home to get mine - we were already settled, and I didn't want to miss the hot tub.
Off we went .... I had in my mind that we would check Old Navy first, it was close enough and I knew would have good prices, IF they had something that fit. See, I knew years ago that Old Navy took out their plus size clothes from their retail outlets and only carried an XXL as their biggest. I silently prayed.
Once in the store I asked where the bathing suits could be found and was told "around the corner." When I rounded the corner all I saw was a giant rack of string bikini's - all I could do was laugh and say to my husband, "well, I won't be wearing any of those." He then pointed at another rack that had one piece suits .... I took a deep breath and searched the rack. I found an L, XL, and XXL and took them all to the dressing room.
To my utter surprise and joy the XXL fit and was a low price of $8.99! Score!!
I wore that bathing suit with pride, after all, I bought it "off the rack" at store made for "the skinny" people.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Today I recognized a few improvements in my world:
1) I am not on "patrol" in the kitchen as much these days;
2) My soda cravings are way down, I've been soda free for 3-ish months (Woo Hoo);
3) I ask friends for help if I am feeling weak and unmotivated;
4) I am not "obsessing" about food;
5) Protein has increased dramatically in my diet;
6) My food allergies are manageable without being depriving;
7) My weight is still the same but I still firmly believe I'm curvy and fabulous!
It's the little things that help push me along . . . self care and awareness are wonderful!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
How do I not allow myself to go off track when living with my husband who loves me just the way I am? Which includes Womanly Curves and a big butt . . .
How do I not allow myself to go off track when he eats what he wants, when he wants?
How do I not "secretly" eat because I feel I "should not" eat it in front of him, even when he doesn't care?
How do I ask for help when he doesn't think I should be so intense about food?
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