Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Yup, I'm hungry. WHAT? What's going on here? Oh, that's right . . . I'm stressed. Well, isn't that just a kick in the teeth. It dawned on me, as I looked in the frig and cabinets for the THIRD time, that I think I'm hungry but what I really am is stressed.
This waive of emotion has been brought on by a medical insurance company and their underwriting process. My husband's application has not been a problem but mine has apparently. Before they will approve my application they want a third party medical provider to come out draw blood, urine, blood pressure, and document my height and weight. (insert evil laugh here)
I called and spoke directly to an underwriter and after she recovered from her own discomfort she admitted that I'm being asked to do this because my height and weight has raised a red flag with the company - it's tough being a fatty. It was not a big surprise to me.
I likely won't pass the requirement ... my weight is all over the board but I can dream. I might be excepted if I pay a higher premium but that remains to be determined.
After I spoke to the underwriter the third party clinic called my office to set up the appointment. I'm sure she was relieved to reach me, I was avoiding her like most people must avoid collection calls (insert evil laugh here). I put her off until May 21 @ 8:30 a.m. in hopes I can come close or meet the weight goal of 231 by then.
With all that I became instantly stressed, which caused me to "patrol" the kitchen. Luckily I know the signs, nothing was consumed but two glasses of water. I have step class tonight so I can sweat out some of the stress. I'll be able to mentally process this latest development on my 20 minute walk home. Until the 21st all I can do is eat well, think good thoughts and workout - the rest is up to a higher power.
Since I started with blog my hunger has left, I'm now exhausted (insert yawn here). This is also what happens when I come down from a stress situation. Knowing this helps me not avoid the gym - it will pass as soon as the music starts.
Keep on sparking and love yourself - you are fabulous and a ray of sunshine!
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Just back from a dinner out at the Macaroni Grill, we were celebrating a birthday. There was so much giggling and oh the food was just fabulous. It was a great night out!!!
I really wanted to stay within my calorie range today so I went armed with how many calories I had left in my bank for the day and hoped for the best. The universe was on my side tonight and I listened. Out of a group of 12 people my menu was the only one with a nutrition guide in the back ... I picked it off the table at random. The pressure and anxiety melted away.
I picked the "simple salmon" meal which came with: Salmon, asparagus, broccoli, and grape tomatoes all for 420 calories, 5 grams fat, sodium at 770, carbs at 6 - I also ordered a side of asparagus to round it out. It was all done on the grill, with the exception of the broccoli which appeared to be steamed. It was the perfect portion and oh so tasty!!!
I kept the menu with the nutrition guide because I wanted to be armed with the facts when they started talking desserts. Glad I did! One dessert alone - the one I would have ordered was almost 1900 calories. Yeah that's right .... WHAT?! The one with the least calories was still at 220 calories but I couldn't have it due to it having dairy in it. I skipped all together. I even skipped the two offers to "just try a bite."
Happily, I stayed within my calorie budget. Happy, happy dance!!!
Knowledge really is power.
Side note: I almost got a salad too but when I looked at the nutrition break down the house salad was 320 calories and the Caesar was 260. First, I was shocked that the house salad had more calories and second, a tiny salad isn't worth that many calories. Not tonight anyway.
Friday, May 07, 2010
What? Could it be? Why Yes, it was a small weight loss today! I did a happy dance and Almost woke my husband to tell him but thought better of it - that would have been rude. LOL!
I still smile like I swallowed the Canary when I see where my ticker is at. Yup, mental happy dance just happened, again.
To celebrate I am doing the following:
I packed a lunch - measured and weighed - instead of going out for my favorite salad
I am taking a bit of a walk this afternoon - getting fresh air and sunshine is a good thing
I am walking with my husband tonight - at least 60 minutes - before we go shopping
I am in charge of food on Sunday for the monthly party we have - there will be more fruits & veggies than chips & dip this month and sparkling water with lemon shall be the drink of the day
I am also putting myself on notice - giggle more and stop being so mellow dramatic
Today I celebrate!
Thursday, May 06, 2010
I've been trying to obtain different medical coverage for myself and include my husband. If approved it would be a great cost saver - that's a big IF.
Insurance companies in America do not like to provide coverage for fat people- yes, it's that cut and dry. They find we are a risk - to much of a risk. I pay an extra premium for my individual coverage with Anthem Blue Cross because of my weight, so it's a high monthly rate. It can only go up when I turn 40 in August - you know because I will still be considered fat and then old. NICE!
My insurance broker assured me that the process with this "other" company is easy, no big deal. Fill out the form, he'll submit it, they'll talk with me a bit and then I'll be approved. HA! I actually laughed out loud when he was so matter of fact about it. He was perplexed, so I asked him if they had a height/weight chart. They do, of course!
I did what they asked and a little more but yet that isn't good enough. This company wants to send a third party out to my house to give me a physical and take blood. Great! If I weigh high that day - outside their little chart - they deny coverage immediately.
All I can do is hope for the best, eat right, workout, and pray. If I'm denied coverage due to weight I at least will have my coverage with Anthem. I need to get my husband covered as well, at least until he finds a job that has a group plan.
Deep breath, in and out, in and out. I can do this! I'm Off to the gym for that fabulous Step class, ab class and then a 20 minute walk home.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
As I stated in an earlier blog, I have come to realization that my dream of spending my 40th birthday in Australia is not going to happen. I've processed it and I've let it go. I'm on to more important tasks now, trying to figure out what to do for this special time in my life.
In my fit of anger, I originally announced to my husband that it was either Australia or nothing. He sat quietly and then asked, "you mean you want to do nothing for your birthday?"
"YES, that is correct Sir, Nothing!" How's that for self punishment and pity?! I told him I would work on my birthday - not that uncommon for me - and come home to cook dinner, etc. He responded with silence, which is a good option when I'm all "twisted in the head."
My fit is officially over and I'm no longer twisted in the head about this issue. I have to keep in mind the following when planning for the day. . .
1) For many reasons, pennies are tight around our house - this celebration changes nothing
2) My husband, unemployed now, might have a job where he can't actually get the day and/or days off to celebrate
3) Who to invite - some of my peeps don't play well together
My list of possibles has grown since I last posted about this. Here is the list - in random order.
1) White Water Rafting (Class III action) with overnight camping
2) Spending a few days at Folsom Lake where we can swim, hike, bike ride and rent jet ski's
3) Hiking at Yosemite National Park & staying over (this might be difficult - things book up)
4) Cruise to Mexico (might be too much $$ and hard to plan around possible job offers)
I haven't come up with anything else, yet. It's fun to explore possible ideas!
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