Monday, April 26, 2010
I have been thinking a lot about body image lately. My mind is preoccupied with it due to having a lot of photo's taken of me recently.
Body image is how someone feels about his or her own physical appearance.
Body image is hard for me. I see one thing when I look down, I see another when I look into a mirror and I see something completely different when I look at a photo. Mind you, it's a full body photo or a photo of me turned to the side that I hate the most; take a head shot and I think it's grand.
I'm not sure how to get over this issue. I'm not sure how to love the one part of my body I hate the most . . . my stomach. Some of it stems from childhood and hurtful things my mom said to me and behind my back but within earshot. But for the most part, I have just come to dislike that very part of me. I even have a very unpleasant nickname for it which I REFUSE to disclose to anyone and force myself to think something beautiful when I want to be unkind to myself.
I keep trying to tell myself, "Love the skin you are in," but let's face it, I don't love all of me.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Sometimes it's nice to take a quiet moment. A moment to relax. A moment to just to be present.
I took that moment today and I found it refreshing. I giggled and I danced. It was a beautiful moment that I took for myself by myself.
Sometimes it's okay just to be quiet and enjoy the silence. To breath and exhale quietly. To reflect. To be with just with me.
I enjoy my quiet moments.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
REASON vs. EXCUSE
I had to look this one up because, I, like so many others in the world, use these words on a regular basis.
Here are the definitions found at dictionary.reference.com site
REASON: 1. a basis or cause, as for some belief, action, fact, event, etc.: the reason for declaring war. 2. a statement presented in justification or explanation of a belief or action.
3. the mental powers concerned with forming conclusions, judgments, or inferences.
4. sound judgment; good sense.
EXCUSE: 1. to regard or judge with forgiveness or indulgence; pardon or forgive; overlook (a fault, error, etc.): Excuse his bad manners. 2. to offer an apology for; seek to remove the blame of: He excused his absence by saying that he was ill. 3. to serve as an apology or justification for; justify: Ignorance of the law excuses no one. 4. to release from an obligation or duty: to be excused from jury duty.
Sometimes in our daily lives there are reasons for which we do & don't things. Equally true, there are times in our daily lives when there are excuses for which we do & don't do things.
To hold myself accountable for my actions I must be aware of my own reasons and/or excuses.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
If I could go back and talk to myself when I was a little girl I would tell her this:
You are beautiful
You are worth it
You will make it
You will experience a few bumps in the road
Remember to celebrate - everything
Dance naked in the living room when the mood strikes
You will overcome it all
You will remember the pain of the past & survive
Feel what you feel
You will walk/run in many different pairs of shoes
Keep on keeping on
You are Fabulous!
When you fall down, and you will, get back up - learn & move on
When you need help, ask for it
Speak even when your voice shakes
Find a happy place and own it
Don't pick up other peoples baggage - you have enough to carry in this world
Life is not a race to the end but a journey to be enjoyed
Helping, loving, caring, enjoying, telling the truth to others is a gift to them & you
The world is bigger than your backyard - explore it
It's okay to be still sometimes - enjoy the moments
Love yourself - always
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Meeting #2 with Doc has come and gone.
As a side note, I'm down today and it was really evident in my meeting with him.
Here's what I know now:
I do have a sluggish thyroid - the thyroid can be supported with all natural supplements
My adrenals are likely still in stage 3 failure - again, they can be supported with natural supplements
My 5 lbs weight gain and loss in a matter of days is nothing Doc worries about - I do, he listened.
Doc and I will meet again in June
It is our hope that I can have the stole test completed by then. It's costly so it must be budgeted in. It's also an unpleasant test to do over a course of 4 days but I've done it before, I can do it again
Until we meet again in June, I will continue the course of supplements I am on. He is adding a product to help with the bloating etc.
Here are my goals:
Continue with the workout program - increase times when I can
Continue with the supplements
Get that test completed
Find my happy place, move in and live there
Stay active, daily, on SP
Order and read the book Doc spoke about, "Hypothyroidism: The Unsuspected Illness" by Broda Barnes, MD
Another piece of my puzzle falls into place. I've been waiting for this for so long - wonder why I'm not overjoyed and doing a little happy dance in my office? Maybe later? Maybe not? This monster has a name but I can't help to wonder what other monsters lurk in the dark places that we've not found.
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