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Wednesday, February 03, 2010

I've never loved myself unconditionally before. I am my own worst enemy. As hard as I try to accept me for all I am, my mind, body, etc, I always find something to pick on. Deep in my heart I know I am beautiful but I always believed it was my personality that made that beauty more than my physical self. Others have told me otherwise, and why it will make me blush and feel good that someone says such a wonderful thing to me, I still struggle with believing that my physical self falls into that category. I'm working on this....

I'm learning to accept myself, for all I am...Stretch mark scared belly, saggy from my first born...the cellulite on my legs and thighs no matter how tone I make them, it's still there. The ability to wave good bye with my hanging arm fat even though they are so much smaller than they used to be. Even the Freckles all over my face that annoy me when I look at them. I am me, through and through....those physical features that I dislike should not define me yet for some reason, we as women tend to let them rule. I've come so far. I've learned a lot bout myself and I'm changing everyday. And I will continue to change as I move forward through this tough journey I am on. I may not be perfect in many ways, but I AM beautiful and I'm not gonna let my body issues tell me I'm not ANYMORE!!!

I've never purchased sexy nice things before. I always felt that those pretty sexy lil pieces are made for someone who can seriously pull it off. I was embarrassed to try and wear such a thing. I have never purchased sexy unmentionables in a cute store. I've always bought my panties in a pack of 6 at Walmart. WHY?? Cause for me it was about comfort, besides who wants to see that on someone who might not be able to pull it off?? I've never shopped at Victoria Secret...I would stare into the store as i would walk by but never to walk in. Well, One time I walked in and clearly they didn't have a size for me.

I'm changing this outlook...I've done a lot of thinking about it lately...I want to surprise my man for Valentine's Day. I want to surprise myself with taking that leap and trying on things and even purchasing my first set of Lingerie. I can shop at Victoria Secret now! They have a size for there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to find something tasteful and sexy! It will be a nice surprise for him and I know he will love it. Cause at the end of the day, this man fell in love with me when I was physically at my worst...of course he's gonna love me regardless....he doesn't look at the saggy belly and judge me for it. He thinks I'm beautiful and sexy either way. God Bless him!

I'm taking the plunge and diving in to a new sexy, beautiful me! Cause as a woman, we all deserve a little bit of sexy in our lives! Especially when that sexy is us!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUBRA007 2/5/2010 3:45PM

    Good for you! I bet you look great in whatever it is you bought! emoticon

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HAPPYHIPPIE80 2/3/2010 6:32PM

    Girly girl when I read this it tore me up inside...are you serious? YOu have ALWAYS been so beautiful! I can understand your inability at one time to shop at Victoria's Secret but you can totally rock EVERYTHING there now. emoticon I am so happy to hear that you finally feel you deserve beautiful and sexy things. To me, you always have! I hope you have fun shopping and go crazy. Know that there is nothing that you should avoid, nothing that you cant rock his world in. What a Valentines Surprise is in store for DL this year. emoticon What a lucky guy.

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SALINA78 2/3/2010 3:10PM

You are growing each day!
I love this surprise for your honey!
And, you will love it too!
Every woman deserves to feel sexy!

P.S. I like to get some at Ross. They sometimes have cute things and way cheaper! Then you can et heels there too. emoticon

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BARBARA_G 2/3/2010 1:37PM

    I think it's fantastic that you will buy some sexy underwear for Valentines! Your blog makes me want to go out and buy some for myself emoticon

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TINK9305 2/3/2010 1:29PM

    Go Kris!!!!! You rock and will totally be able to pull it off!!!! You are very pretty and stunning!!!! Thanks for your inspiring story. :o) emoticon

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TBIAM2000 2/3/2010 12:03PM

    That was a great read and great for motivation. I have always had the same feelings about lingerie, until I met a man last fall who forced me (literally sweaty palms and all) into Victoria's Secret for the first time, because, like you, there is a size in there for me now. I still have all the same marks, sagging, and flapping you mentioned above, and he still loved me in it....unfortunately, that relationship had to end, but I will be forever thankful for his push into that store. There's nothing like a sexy/tasteful outfit/lingerie that fits just right to keep you on your healthy living/weight loss goal. Have fun shopping!!!

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WANNABTHIN2010 2/3/2010 11:52AM

    great blog. that was so insperational. thanks

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Crazy weekend, late nights, no workouts

Monday, February 01, 2010

Boy oh Boy!! Sometimes things just don't go the way you plan them. emoticon But that's okay, this past weekend was a pretty good one!

Friday ~ I had no intentions of working out this day, Friday's are errand days and we go go go on those days. Plus I was still so sore from my Wed run that I could barely walk up the stairs to my apt. emoticon When I checked our bank account to figure out our bills, we had a nice surprise of our tax return sitting there! It's so refreshing to finally receive a return again. We haven't had one since I stopped working a few years ago, and DL has owed for awhile now that we had to get that balance paid off. Glory Glory, it's finally paid off!! emoticon So we paid off some debts, and went out to pick up the necessities we have needed a while. Namely Shoes for all of us!! I got myself a new pair of running shoes finally!! emoticon emoticon We also splurged and got new cell phones. Now I can spark from my phone and track my food wherever I am! I find this fantastic!! emoticon

Okay....So I was so busy Friday morning that all I had was a banana for breakfast. We stopped at Panda Express for an early lunch, I had the a panda bowl with half the steamed rice and firecracker chicken. And around 2pm I had a protein Soy Smoothie from Keva as a meal substitute. I was hungry and very low in calories for this point in the day. emoticon That night we had a kids bday party at Peter Piper Pizza...oh yay! (not) emoticon I ordered a salad and convinced DL to only order a med pizza. I told him that it's just the two of us so we didn't need a large one...I only had two pieces. After logging everything in I was still under in cals for the day. Not to bad. Unfortunately I did not get my water in for the day...bad bad bad..... emoticon

Saturday ~ DL had to work 12 hrs, so it was just me and Alyssa. I had it all planned out, I was gonna do some yoga and a dvd I got from the lib on toning. I also had to clean around the house and help Alyssa with reading homework. I ended up slacking on breakfast again and didn't eat until 1230!! Shame on me! emoticon We ordered Sandwiches from Jason's Deli for dinner, cereal for later at night. Still stayed in my cal range again for the day but it was not well balanced and again I didn't drink my Water Like I am supposed too! The day flew by so fast I just don't know where it went!! emoticon

Sunday ~ DL had another 12 hr shift and My plan was to try the Hip Hop video that I checked out from the Lib. I never got to it again! Darn it!! I did laundry all day and focused on eating right for the day. Again I stayed in my calorie range, so that is a pat on the back. But no workout! POOH!! emoticonCause I won't have the car again until probably this coming Friday I ended up grocery shopping at 10pm! It was nice to roam around an empty store but I was the lady that comes to the check out with a full cart before closing! Oops!! emoticon I Focused more on my water and got in my 8 for the day...I really try to go for 12, but that didn't happen. 8 is good...better than 2! emoticon

Monday ~ I was all pumped to make it happen today. I had a plan, I was gonna attempt 30 day shred and 30 min on the elliptical....ummmm....yeah, that didn't happen again! emoticon My friend had the day off today and came over, after talking for a bit we decided to go shopping together! These are rare occasions for me to go shopping with a friend with no child in I jumped at the chance. Sometimes socializing can feed my soul and I'm glad I went. emoticon

So no workout again today! Gee whiz...I'm slacking! Good points for this weekend, I stayed in range all 4 days. I had a great time running around. I rarely sat and watched tv, I may not of worked out but I was active the whole time. emoticon Bad points for this weekend, I didn't eat on a good schedule, I didn't workout, I didn't get my water in.... emoticon

So I'm not letting any of this get me down, I just need to put myself first a little bit more and stay focused!! Tomorrow it's on!! I'm gonna work it hard! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAPPYHIPPIE80 2/2/2010 5:24PM

    I'm glad that was your weekend and not mine...I'm thinking you had little to no time to breathe. Its okay if you didnt have time to workout over a weekend, you stayed within your calories and that is good. Maybe I'm just lax on this whole process but I give you kudos. You did good!

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SALINA78 2/2/2010 10:02AM

    Sounds like a fun weekend.
And you did pretty good, actually!
Weekends can be so hard!
I'm glad you got some new running shoes, socializing and shopping in!
I NEED those days too! Hee hee!

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TINK9305 2/2/2010 9:43AM

    Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great. The food is the more important part I think. Congrats for not letting your food go because you didn't exercise, that's a hard thing to do.

That is awesome that you got new running shoes!!!! Yeah and the new phone where you can track whooo hooooo!!!!!!

We can do this!!!! :o)

Thanks for all you encouragement and support, you are a great person!!!


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BOBBI1968 2/2/2010 9:19AM

    Wow - you had quite the exciting weekend. I sort of got tired just reading about it - LOL! It sounds like you really accomplished a lot and you sound like you had a really nice time - that's all that matters! You will get your workouts in - not to worry! You are sounding so positive and happy - it rubs off - reading this blog was a really nice way to start my day! Thanks Kris! I hope you have a GREAT Tuesday!!

Take Care!!


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BARBARA_G 2/2/2010 8:17AM

    Perhaps you could try to fit your workout in in the morning. It's easier that way. There is less time to make excuses. It also may remind you to eat breakfast. It sounds like your mornings are hectic. Maybe changing your routine would help?

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KITKAT2010 2/2/2010 1:04AM

    You were super busy that is an accomplishment in itself! This is a new week and time to get a fresh start. I get my new phone next weekend! Can't wait to finally have spark on the go.

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JUSGETTENBY42 2/1/2010 10:47PM

    everyone has a bad weekend, just get back on track

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A walk in the Park

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

So today I blogged bout how frustrated I was that today was not going as I had hoped it would. I was really looking forward to my peace and quiet time...and as I called it earlier...all day the tv has been on with the sound of gunfire constantly blaring! Uggghhh...boys and their toys....

Anyway...i decided that since I couldn't enjoy my time here and the car was home that I would jump in my car and go somewhere by myself. That is always calming to me too...I love to drive and listen to music it calms my nerves. I stopped by the library and picked up a book I had on hold and found some new workout dvds to try out, in hopes of adding some variety. Next I headed over to Riverfront Park. It's a nice little park with a great walking path in it.

I put in my ear phones and pounded the pavement. I made it almost all the way around when I passed a woman going in the opposite direction of me, who was jogging. She was a little bit older than me and was clearly working on her journey as well. I acknowledged her with a smile of encouragement and continued on. When I got to the beginning of the path to start another lap I thought to's been a while since I ran...maybe I could pull it off again if I do it slow and ease into it. With my chest cold and all I didnt' want to overdo it with my breathing. I started jogging and next thing I know I am still going at .5 Mile!! And I wasn't dying!! I passed the woman again and smiled at her and told her to keep going! She smiled back. She inspired me to push myself a little harder and I did. I walked a bit and ran a bit and kept this going til I finished 6 laps on the path. Not quite 4.5 miles but pretty close. We would pass each other sometimes both running, or both walking or one walking the other one running and each time we encouraged each other. The last time I past her I told her she was doing a great job. She smiled big and said the same. I would like to think that I encouraged her a little today to keep going and that somehow helped her workout. I know she did with mine.

At the end of 5th lap I noticed that she wasn't there anymore. i regret not introducing myself and seeing if maybe she was a sparker. Maybe i'll see her again someday. I was pretty tired by the end of the 5th lap, almost talked myself out of doing that 6th one when there was this guy who was just starting his workout in front of me. He started into a jog and low and behold I followed him...and kept going...I ran almost 3/4 of the last lap, thanks to him! It's amazing how others working out around you can help motivate you to push harder and do more!

I'm pleased with my success today. It helped pull me out of my mood to some degree...all in all it's been a decent day, well minus a few frustrations! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANBRI 1/28/2010 10:28PM

    That is really wonderful! Good going. I think I may go to that same jogging yet for me, though. Is it the Lambert Rd Riverfront Park? I love that place!

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SALINA78 1/28/2010 2:36PM

Your day DID get better! YAY!

Awesome job on your running and helping motivate someone else!


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BARBARA_G 1/27/2010 9:40PM

    What a fantastic workout!!! I know exercise always makes me feel better.

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LOLABURKE1 1/27/2010 7:51PM

    Congrats on a great day!! Isn't it great when you do more than you planned or expected to!! emoticon

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ALEMAPO 1/27/2010 7:37PM

  Yay! You got me time after all and it was productive! Jog on!

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Well Pooh...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

It sucks to me to work so hard, push harder, do better and than what? Nothing??? Everything stayed the same as last week. I Find this frustrating cause I feel tighter, thinner....better...but the numbers didn't change at all...I even burned way more calories this week than last week...sigh....But what Can I do? Just keep doing it everyday and hope that it will get better...patience is a huge key...I know from experience that this journey doesnt' happen overnight, but man it sure stinks to not see anything....Oh well, can't dwell on it, just have to move on and keep doing it everyday!!

I'm gonna try really hard to not let this get to me. I'm already in a sour mood today. I am a person that thrives on my alone time, and when that time gets interrupted, well, I tend to get pretty annoyed pretty quick. Especially if I had it all planned out in my head what my day was gonna be. Sounds stupid I'm sure but when it's your only time for personal peace, well you tend to cherish it. Now I get to sit here for the next three days and listen to video game crap and than while he works all weekend parent our daughter alone all weekend. Not that that is a horrible thing, but it's nice to have some help....So I'm kinda bummed that I don't get the house to myself today. And I won't til possibly Monday, i just wasn't mentally prepared for that. Silly I know! Anyway....

Here's to another day of not giving up....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SALINA78 1/28/2010 2:33PM

    Sorry Kris!
(I know your pain) ;)

I hope your day got better!

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BARBARA_G 1/27/2010 9:51PM

    I'm sorry everything stayed the same for you. I understand how frustrating that can be. Try to stay focused on how you feel. You don't have that much weight left to go and you will make it there! Unfortunately things slow down as you get closer to your goal weight.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a fantastic week next week!

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YAMINOKODOMO 1/27/2010 9:45PM

    I am the same way, I like having my alone time for a while. I need it sometimes or else I get kinda blah around people lol.

Dont worry it could also be muscle weight, so you dont see the scale going down but you are losing, does that make sense? I heard that its sometimes better to take measurements. Good luck!

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_JULEE_ 1/27/2010 2:19PM

    We homeschool and my hubby has a very odd schedule. My time alone is very important to me, too! I get up early and see to it that I have a couple of hours just for me. That's the only time I get! And yes, I get somewhat annoyed when someone gets up really early and interrupts my time. Sounds bad, but it really isn't!

Hang in there, this sounds plateau-ish to me and you might just drop a bunch of inches and pounds next week!

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KRYANPRINCESS 1/27/2010 1:06PM

    Thank you ladies!! Just a bummer when you actually get excited to get on the scale and see what you've done and it doesn't move. Pamela I did measure....they are the same as last week too! All I can do is just keep going!! emoticon

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ALEMAPO 1/27/2010 12:51PM

  You don't need to worry about the scales. You know you've been working out great and if your body feels thinner and tighter it is working. Have you measured lately? Sorry your "me" time got interrupted. Doesn't it always seem to happen when you need the me time the most? That's the way it seems for me - or maybe I need ALL the me time! I guess if people are "in your space" you can always take it out on that elliptical! Happy Wednesday!

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DELITESUGA1 1/27/2010 12:47PM

    Dont give up. It is very frustrating especially when we are working harder and dont see the results. The results will show very soon. You are already feeling the results. Hang in there. :-)

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LEIGH932011 1/27/2010 12:13PM

    I know that it can be frustrating when the scale doesn't move but just think of how your body feels! You said yourself that you feel better and more tone. That should make you feel great! I'm having the same issue! I'm working out a lot but the scale isn't moving but I know what I'm doing is best for me. If I wasn't trying to get into the military I wouldn't even be using the scale but the military is very scale happy unfortunately.

I understand what you mean about alone time. I don't like exercsing during the weekend because EVERYONE is home and they of course want the tv or make fun of me.

I hope everything goes better for you hun! You're doing great! We're all taking huge steps to getting healthy even if it takes time. :-)


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Monday, January 25, 2010

I'm alittle Frustrated right now. Since it started Raining last week, my allergies kicked in, or so I thought, Maybe it was the start of a cold and I just thought it was my allergies. Anyway, it has gone into my chest and I have a terrible cough and slight difficulty with my breathing. I've pushed through workouts on the Elliptical feeling like this, and it hasn't been all that difficult but my body is so exhausted. I just want to sleep and do nothing. I keep taking rest days to recover but it's such a slow process. This week I've been working on one day, rest the next. But It doesn't seem to be helping much. I know I need to be patient and it will all come together but I want to keep working, keep pluging away, Wed is my weigh in day and I just dont' feel like its gonna be a good one. Sigh.....It's annoying to be on such a roll and than be so exhausted that I just don't even want to stand up!

I will not give up though and I will not let it get to me. Maybe I shouldn't push myself on the elliptical for 45 min(even though according to sp I burn 490 cals) and do something different, like Yoga or something light. But than I don't burn as much as i would like! LOL..Oh well....blah....


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINK9305 1/27/2010 1:00AM

    Get better!!!!!!!!!!

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BARBARA_G 1/26/2010 4:49PM

    I hope you're feeling better. I understand how frustrating it is when you're doing well and then you get hit by an illness. I tend to eat when I'm ill. So I worry about getting ill myself mostly for that reason. I wish you well!

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BOBBI1968 1/26/2010 8:40AM

    I hope you start feeling better soon, Kris. Isn't that just the way things always happen - you get yourself on a roll and then something comes along to upset the balance for a bit. I know from experience that you will not let this derail you - in fact you'll probably come out fighting even harder!! You are going to do this, Kris!

Take Care My Friend!!


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SALINA78 1/25/2010 2:50PM

    I'm sorry you are feeling so sick.
I just had to pick up my Tyler from school for something similar. :(
Get rested and feel better!!!

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BMVMOM 1/25/2010 1:14PM

    I had this too, after 2 weeks I feel better. Hang in there, do what you can, when you can. The main thing is to be a healthy you so every little thing helps. You might not burn as many calories at one time but you burned some right?
Hope you feel better soon.


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_JULEE_ 1/25/2010 12:42PM

    My hubby had this and he was down for 3 full weeks. Take care of you, eat right while you rest.

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