Monday, August 13, 2012
I wanted to share my blog about Zumba with ya! Good times!
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
First I'd like to thank everyone who reached out to my pity blog and supported me. Even through my inconsistent presence on here you are all still supportive and I really appreciate that. You have no idea how much it means, or maybe you do cause you've been there! :)
So I had to take a big step back. Trying to run a business that requires a lot of social media involvement as well as connecting with friends, seeing society's negativity on so many issues, it just became to much. I was trying to do more then I could manage and my personal life was suffering cause I was TO PLUGGED in. Seriously, I'm so over FB. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. I mean I loved it. I mean it was a way for me to connect with my family and friends back home. It's tough when you live so far away. There was a great support system at one time and I relied to heavily on it. When the system broke, and my involvement on there became to much It consumed me. I found myself completely annoyed at stranger's stupidity (because you see I actually read people's comments on pages), angry at certain friends for their negative attitudes, or becoming increasingly self absorbed. Political BS, and news drama. Strangers ripping other strangers apart, people who I grew to care about and really thought were my friends truly were not my friends at all. Big learning lessons there. I had to sit back and say to myself, "wth, why are you being dumb? This is not real!"
Since moving away from home I just haven't developed friendships, I did in AZ, and I truly regret not nurturing them enough. But here in VA, I seriously know one person that i consider a friend but they aren't around much. I've tried many ways to make that work but now I even question that. When did developing friendships get so hard? I'm generally a social person, but as I continue on I find myself pulling back more and more. I've considered deactivating my account, but I am growing my page and I love reaching out to others. It motivates me to help motivate others and that has truly been a positive experience.
So what I have done is pull back. I turned off my notifications on my phone so it's not going off every other minute, I stopped checking it all the time and In doing so I've been able to focus on more Important things, like getting some items checked off my to do list, and most importantly spending some time with my daughter.
I've been putting in 3 days a week at the gym, weight training, running and hitt cardio. It's been a big shift for me from doing insanity, and my Bob Harper workouts. I still try to fit in Bob each week, at least one I'd like to do 2 as I really enjoy them, but insanity has taking a backseat for now. Slightly disappointed in myself for not finishing round two right now but my goal is to build more lean muscle so I'm really trying to focus on that right. We also got P90X in last week so that is a goal to work on as well, but right now I'm focusing in the gym. It's new, different and I'm really enjoying my time there. It's been a shift to go from 5-6 days a week, 40-45 min workouts to 3 days, 80-90 mins. I'm also walking with my girl 2-3 days a week weather permitting, they are slow 40 min walks but it's activity. And we have been trying to swim when we can. I'm still not counting calories but I'm very comfortable with where I am. My goal is not weightloss any more, my goal is burn my last fat pockets, and muscle building. I'm seeing progress, and am excited to see where it will lead too.
So I'm just focusing on life, living healthy, doing for me and my family. my amazing true friends are there all the time, that is what matters, and I'm planning on how I'm going to shape my website up, but most importantly, I'm taking one day at a time and reevaluating the true importance of my life and my goals.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
I'm am seriously failing miserably trying to keep up with everything. I'm not sure why I put so many expectations on myself. i want to help everyone and be there for everyone, yet I'm completely over extended! I can't keep up on Spark, Heck I just logged two weeks of workouts in....I can't keep up with my blog, I have 20 different topics I'd like to discuss. I struggle to keep up with my business, housework, spending time with my family, ohh and there's those "to do" jobs to do around the house, like haul off the goodwill pile, file paperwork and clean out the closets. I'm EXHAUSTED! and I didn't even mention all the social media sites I'm involved in. Something has to give.
I'm not sleeping well, I'm feeling completely unaccomplished, and honestly, I just want to curl up with my book and not move. I feel like if I can't keep it all up I will let down so many people. I just don't' want that to happen. I want to be there for them, I want to support them. I guess I can only do what I can.
What I am NOT failing at is my physical health. My eating is solid, my workouts are on it, I started weight training and joined a gym. I absolutely love it! I know if I didnt' have this part down I would completely lose it! If in doubt go work out!! HA!
Big Deep Breath....it is what it is...I'm doing the best I can...WTH am I going to do when work starts back up next month? Ohhhhhh......stress....
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
It is so disappointing to me that i haven't been keeping up here on Spark, This site means so much to me, I mean it's the core of where my journey began and I've lost contact. I've lost contact with so many on here, except for those who I connect with on FB. So many wonderful people, such amazing support, wonderful info, and Community. I don't really have any justified excuses. It takes more time for me to pull out my computer and work on it then it does my phone. It's become more about accessibility in the long run. But that is still no excuse!
Everyday I tell myself I'm going to log on to blog, and everyday something gets in the way, Either myself, my responsibilities, my child...(lol who always interrupts me when it's time to blog) or my work. There is so much I can do from my phone on the go, I can blog to my own site, check up on my pages, track info, support others, but Unfortunately Spark falls a bit short in this area. I used to use the mobile tracker but there was always an issue and it didn't allow me to connect with people on it. That bothered me the most. And trying to blog through your phone or read comments, navigate the site while it can be done is not an easy task.
I recently felt a huge Gap in my support system, a part of it that was so important to me and my journey just sorta disappeared. Not completely but it took a very different turn. I dont' want to go into it in great detail but it made me reflect on my own self and think bout how I may be projecting myself in my journey. Sometimes we appear to get self absorbed in our own selves and what we are doing or accomplishing that we forget the ones who were there for us rooting us on from the beginning. I speaking in general here, but while I know my presence and support for so many is out there on other platforms it hit me hard that i have failed at my roots. I don't ever want to be that person who is so full of themselves and their progress that they forget who walked them through it, because I wouldn't be here without all of you, and that is the bottomline. I want to inspire and encourage others that they do can do the same, and I dropped the ball here on Spark.
So to all of you Amazing Spark people, who have been by my side from the beginning, the ones who have come into my journey looking for my support and I just sorta disappeared, I am truly sorry for abandoning you. To those who still keep up with my inconsistent posts, and continue to cheer me on from afar, I am grateful for your devotion! This journey is about community and support, without it we wouldn't be able to push through. I want to continue to support each and everyone of you, and I hope that we can branch out and do so.
I've been working on my own website for a while now, it's a blog based site, it's still pretty new and a work in progress, it take a lot of time and work. But I hope you join me and if you have a blog on wp or blogger or where ever or your own and would like me to include you , I will be happy too.
If you are on FB and want to Continue to support each other that way, you can visit my page www.facebook.com/cleanfitinspiration
I would love to have you! If you have a page of your journey, let me know and I will galdly follow!
And you can probably find me anywhere with my Kryanprincess user name...twitter, Instagram, myfitnesspal, it's pretty universal for me.
What bout you? Are you on any of these in which we can connect?
Monday, April 16, 2012
I was going through old pics from our external hard drive. I'm still in awe over what I find...There are very few pictures of me from my heaviest weight of 230, but there are quite a few of me at about 206-210 lbs. I came across some that I didn't even remember existed...I was almost instantly in tears...sometimes we need that smack in the face to remind us of how far we have come...
When we decided to move from WA to AZ in 2008 I knew this was my chance. A chance at a new beginning, an opportunity to completely change my life and the path I was going on. I knew I wanted to do this for a very long time but I just didn't' know how to succeed in my current environment. I guess I used it as my excuse, my big EXCUSE! Cause I know now that no matter where I am I can succeed at living a healthy lifestyle.
I wasn't sure how I was going to take this out of control person I had become and tame her. I wasn't sure how I was going to even start. I had no true education, no true support, I just had myself, and I had to prove to myself that I was capable of making this happen. I had too, I didn't want to live that way anymore. I was depressed, lazy, completely unmotivated at everything. I had no patience for anyone or anything. It was time, and what a better way to make it happen then a whole new state,a new town to live in? A whole new beginning!
This is where I had to start from....Still blows me away to see this...
This picture was taken close to a year before we left, i was still this same size when we left in July of 08. I was approx 206 lbs, and wore a size 18.
When we got to AZ it was a slow go for the first month, settling in, learning to deal with 100+ heat, which I love btw, and unpacking our stuff into our new place. While I was unpacking in the bathroom, putting away towels and blankets in the laundry area I noticed something between the wall and the washer. I grabbed a hanger and dug it out. It was a shirt....an American Eagle Gray Womens shirt...."Hmmmm....I've never been able to shop at American Eagle unless I was to pick up a mens hoodie or something". It was large, but anyone who knows sizes, knows that an American Eagle large in womens is probably more a med in a 'normal"...On a whim, i tried to put the shirt on...Yeah, not happening, I got one arm in, was able to put it over my head but there was no way I could put my arm in the other side. This shirt sparked something in me that day...I told myself I would be wear this shirt one day, I will wear it in public and it will look decent on me.
I kept this shirt, and As I made progress I would try it on, I was extremely surprised when I was actually able to put it on! But it certainly wasn't public ready to wear at that time!
Last year at this time, I reached my goal weight, 145 lbs, from 206. It took me a long time! It was a slow process, and from 2010 to 2011 I only lost around 15 lbs, but I was doing what was right for me. Even though it was a slow process I was going down in my clothes, I was losing inches, so I kept going. I was getting stronger and this was AWESOME to me!
Last year I posted my before after photo, I was 230 at my heaviest in the before photo and my goal weight at 145 lbs photo, in that photo I am wearing that gray shirt that I couldn't get my other arm in when I started even at 206 lbs.
Okay, so here it is, a Year later, almost to the date, cause that photo was taken in AZ right before we moved to VA. We moved because of my husbands job, and let me tell you, my biggest fear about moving to VA....Was not being able to maintain my lifestyle! I was terrified that I was going to screw it up, fall back into my old ways, I wouldn't have any accountability. That totally wasn't the case. I think my fear drove me to try harder. To keep challenging myself. I have to say I've struggled. I have been through some very serious personal life challenges this past year. The Summer took a huge brunt of that, and I gained 7 lbs when I was in WA towards the end of Aug. Lots of stress, not having complete control over my food. But I did keep working out while I was going through it all. It's taken me that past 8 months to get back to where I was last year. I've completed Insanity, I ran my First 5k, I'm continue to challenge myself daily.
So then I started thinking....You know, I've lost inches, I've gained muscle, Strength, Endurance...I know my clothes fit better, even though the scale stays the same most of the time. I wonder how that shirt fits....So I tried it on....and what I learned totally blew me away....
OMG!! The shirt is too big! Maybe not in the shoulders, but it sure doesn't fit me like a glove as it did a year ago! Here's the crazy thing! I weigh a pound and half more now then I did in last years picture! What does that tell you?? Yup, Progress! I'm doing what I'm supposed to, And I'm gonna keep doing it! :) this was a big NSV for me! So I would like to remind you that if the scale is not moving it doesn't mean that you are not making any progress! DON"T STOP!! Keep GOING!! You'll Get there! :) It's taken me almost 4 years to get this far! And I'm not quitting EVER!
So here I am today, 146 lbs, wearing a comfortable size 6 ( and I need a belt)
What a difference from that Picture in the beginning! WOW!!!
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