Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Why is it that when times are tough we attack ourselves? I understand the need to look introspectively, and I often do, but the self attacking needs to stop.
Today my mind wants to tell me that I'm missing the mark. Why? Because my tummy is bloated. I'm tired. My weight keeps fluctuating all over the place. And I feel out of control.
Here's the reality: I'm cleansing my system--weight fluctuation is to be expected. Plus, I haven't been drinking enough water like I should. I'm tired because I got 4 hours of sleep. All of those things are within my control. So the feeling that I'm out-of-control is just plain unfounded. It simply stems from all of MY decision making. The fact of the matter is, I'm the only one in control of me.
As of 8/6/14--These WERE the facts.
So here are the (temporary) facts: I'm 160. Endurance and energy low. Stress high. Exhausted. Frustrated. Down on myself.
Here are the other facts: I'm in control. I can drink some water and take a vitamin. Do some Yoga and take a little nap. Look in the mirror and smile. Hug my family. And I can take ownership of where I allowed myself to get. 160 will be a fading number. 7 days. Then 14 days. Then 7 months. Then 7 years. I don't have to live like this.
Here's what I'm doing: Going back to the exercises I LOVE. Running, zumba, turbofire, endurance weight training (light weights, high reps), body weight training, yoga.
I'm going to eat CLEAN (90% of the time, this morning was that 10% of non-clean)
I'm in the process of getting my yoga certification too (which I've always wanted to have)
I'm going to spend more time with my family.
I'm going to take more pictures (because I love to)
I'm going to write more songs
I'm going to finish my book
I'm going to remember what it was like to care enough to get sexy for my husband every day
I'm going to grow my hair out
I'm going to read more
I'm going to take control.
Here are the facts 11 days later:
I'm down 6lbs. (I actually reached up to 163 then headed back down)
I'm down 1 inch in my waist and 1 inch in my hips
I'm eating clean 100% of the time. Eating vegan in order to rid myself of headaches and other ailments.
I'm reading 4 books right now.
I'm doing yoga faithfully 4+ times per week. Doing Zumba with my kids. Playing my favorite sports with my hubby and investing time into our family.
I highlighted my hair to feel sexy for my hubby. Did my makeup the way he likes and spent a weekend with him just reliving some memories from when we dated (10 years ago)
And another flashback to just over a week ago:
I'm having regular migraines. Everyday. If you've never had a migraine, imagine sticking a knife through the base of your skull to your forehead, dousing it in grease and lighting it on fire. Then sitting there like that for hours. Nice right? Last night, I've had my worst one ever. I know it was triggered by stress, lack of sleep, with the addition of some alcohol consumption at a family party. By the end of the night I was crying in pain.
Migraines aren't the end of it. I've had extreme back pain, I have arthritis in my neck (that contributes to my migraines), hormone imbalances, hypoglycemia, anemia, adrenal fatigue, just plain constant fatigue, insomnia, joint pain. And here I am, just popping tylenol (which I HATE doing) and trying to ignore that I have a problem. Well, Chantelle, you have a problem. And ignorance is no longer bliss...
And 11 days later...
I'm headache FREE. After migraines for over a month on end, I'm free. WOW.
Back pain has been reduced by at least 50%
I'm sleeping deeply.
I'm energetic even when I don't want to be. I'm up til midnight-2am bright eyed and bushy tailed.
I'm no longer taking tylenol.
Don't let your mind push you around. Stop attacking yourself. Chances are you are accomplishing much more that what you give yourself credit for. And if you aren't, remember, you are completely in control.
Be good to yourself.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Over the last few days I have been conducting a little experiment. There were things that I enjoyed as a child that I no longer pursued as an adult. And while I've been peeling back the layers of my personal nutrition, fitness and mental well being..I've begun to wonder why those things have fallen away.
Is it that I'm too busy? Am I too grown up? Well no. Then what is it? What happened to the long summer nights I used to spend underneath the basketball hoop? Covered in sweat. Burn in my lungs. Sinking shot after shot. What happened to the long walks I'd take barefoot in the grass? Or the endless minutes I'd spend sprawled out underneath the clouds, in utter appreciation of my surroundings? And the hours and hours with my nose buried in a book? What happened to those things that were purely organic to just me?
Burdened with these questions I began to do what I used to love so much. On Friday evening I spent 2 1/2 hours with my nose in a book. Soaking up as much knowledge as I possibly could.
Saturday I spent over 2 hours playing basketball with my husband. We even played some 2 on 2 with some kids who were hanging around the court. (I won...yup that's right) And I felt the sweet victory of sinking a few 3 point shots.
Later, I laid in the grass by this beautiful pond and looked up at the sky, letting my mind wander. In utter appreciation of all that surrounded me. I could hear the crickets in the bushes, the frogs jumping about in the water and the laughter of the children playing at a family party.
By that evening, I felt for the first time in years, that disappointment that comes with closing my eyes to go to sleep. I couldn't wait to wake up the next morning and do something else I loved.
And I began to wonder to myself, why have I let this all go? These are the things that are me at my purest form. Undiluted, innocent enjoyments.
So many times we get caught up in the various roles we fill that we forget what makes us, us. Take a moment today to do something that you love.
And as always...
Be good to yourself.
Friday, August 15, 2014
This morning I find myself anxious and overwhelmed. With no particular reason as to why. The only thing that I can think of is that things at work have really begun to blossom and my husband is concerned that our family will begin to fall apart the more success we see.
Maybe I'm letting this fear rest with me?
I've also gotten off track in my mentality a bit. I started getting really excited about the outside changes that I've been seeing. But they were never the focus in the first place. I understand that it's normal and healthy to celebrate improvement. But my primary focus for this entire journey was to achieve health internally. The externals that follow are simply a "given".
Need to recalibrate.
What is my focus?
To achieve the highest level of health mentally and physically.(Physically: to overcome the repercussions of hypoglycemia, anemia, adrenal fatigue and arthritis; Mentally: to get rid of anxiety, racing thoughts, negative thoughts so that I can begin to take the helm and steer my life down the path I choose to go down) I am detoxing my life from stress, toxins, and a negative mindset in order to have freedom from the things I have allowed to weigh me down.
What does this look like?
I'm juicing and blending regularly in order to absorb optimum nutrients, get rid of my migraines and avoid food sensitivities that have ignored. This will allow my body to rid itself of toxins and inflammation.
I'm eating a meals consisting of only what comes from the earth. Fruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, good oils. (Essentially vegan) I made this choice as an afterthought. I have dairy and gluten sensitivities. And I am choosing to eat meat free in order to give my digestive tract a rest.
I'm doing yoga regularly. This is to strengthen and lengthen my muscles as well as to detoxify my organs. Plus, it just makes me feel so peaceful. It recalibrates my mind and my body, bringing it to a state of clarity and restful alertness.
I'm investing in myself. I am reading books that open my mind, challenge my normal thought patterns and cause me to place myself under the microscope so that I can bloom as an individual.
These choices have begun to lay the foundation for true health. FOR ME. Everyone is different. Each person is unique down to the fibers that conspire together to form their being. It is essential to find your own balance. I'll say something a little challenging: Never do something only because it worked for someone else. Do something only because you believe in it. It'll carry you through to the end.
Doing something simply because someone else achieved success with it causes us to compare ourselves to that individual's outcome while we stumble in the process to our own outcome. But here's the thing, they struggled too. You can't compare your beginning or middle to someone's end. And I'd venture to challenge you to this thought: How can you compare yourself to someone else at all? Your unique, unreplicated self can soar to new heights if you would choose to ascend to this way of thinking. Your path, is your path. It will never belong to someone else. Your outcome is owned by you. Your life is a series of choices made by you and you alone. (Yes, it is.) You are where you are, you think the way you think, you eat what you eat, walk how you walk, talk how you talk because you choose it. So I implore you, find your balance. Find what works for you. And embrace it. Because there is not a single person that exists in this world that is you. Not a soul as unique that can contribute to this life that we're all trying to figure out the way that you can. You are the only you that exists.
Be good to yourself.
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Good Morning my lovely spark friends. I didn't get to check in yesterday, on day 4, so I wanted to make sure I took a moment today. This wellness walk has been becoming the best decision of my life. I have so much less anxiety, the migraines are gone (except for a couple of dull headaches), I'm in much less pain in my back and my flexibility is increasing. So is my patience. Problems that arise are so much more tolerable. And I don't use food as a means to solving them or even alleviating my stress. Peace is a choice. It's not this purely mental state of being, it's a way of living that fleshes out in how you eat, think, sleep, feel, act, respond and even exercise. I'm so thankful not to be bound by that anxious feeling of "I need to exercise today!!!"
Now it's more of a desired process. I look forward to it because it makes me feel good. I do yoga in the evenings for now before bed to strengthen and stretch my muscles and the seated twists detoxify my organs. I know that each day I am depositing life into my body through my nutrition, activity and state of mind. There's more to be aware of when your mind no longer races. There's more to appreciate, like the sun on my face and the cool breeze against my skin.
If you choose to break up with stress, you are free to live. The liberties that accompany that are endless.
Be good to yourself.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Gonna make this one brief! Good day so far
2 juices, 2 chickpea salads and a kombucha. Had a bit of coffee today to get through work. But overall another good day. Needing to do some yoga tonight. I actually took a nap today. Shocking.
On my way to wellness!
BTW just found out that I may be traveling to develop the new franchise's getting established over the next year. Interesting. Anyone else travel for work? I have a family so I'm wondering how that's gonna work. Hmmm...
Anyone else as shocked by this Robin Williams thing as I am? Tell someone you love them today, you never know how they really feel inside.
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