Wednesday, January 02, 2013
I have always been someone who loves planning and making lists, so every New Years I've made a list of resolutions a mile long. I have never ever succeeded at any of these resolutions until last year. As with most people, losing weight was always at the top of my list. I cannot tell you how good it feels to have finally accomplished a goal I set for myself. I am the queen of broken promises (to myself).
In June, something finally snapped. I was making yet another vain attempt at losing weight and sabotaging myself by binge-ing on pasta and ice cream day after day. I had cravings so bad that I could hardly function from the anxiety. I remember literally breaking down into tears, so angry that I had allowed myself to get this heavy. That was my breaking point. Nothing poignant, no health scare or embarrassing moment, just the realization that I was better than this. I had to hold myself accountable and come to grips with the fact that I had to take control and work harder if I wanted the dream of being healthy to become a reality. There is no magic pill, no magic surgery, no matter how you go about it you have to work hard and learn to delay gratification.
I am still struggling, especially over the Christmas holiday. I've not gained any weight, but I am plagued with the cravings I worked so hard to rid myself of. I see now how easy it is to become complacent and gain the weight back. The more I lose, the harder I have to work, and I know that I am worth the effort. I always hated the saying "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", but I can tell you that nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels. It's about way more than looking good. I had so many problems with anxiety and sometimes depression and I always blamed the weight on the way I felt. It was the other way around- I was depressed and anxious because I was overweight.
If anyone reading this is just beginning their journey, I will make you a promise that I know I can keep. I promise that you are worth the effort, and I promise that you will feel so much better 6 months or a year from now if you commit to losing the weight! Make 2013 the year you kept your resolution:)
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
I had a great Christmas with my Husband and family, but- OMG! I went so far off the tracks the last few days! Monday I went to my Grandmas and had the usual carb loaded Christmas dinner- Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, cornbread bake, mac n' cheese, rolls, etc. THEN she brought out the desserts-Pumpkin pie, cake, 3 different cookies, cherry pie and FUDGE! I didn't eat all those desserts, but I did eat about 4 peices of fudge, 2 cookies, and then took more cookies and fudge home with me and proceeded to snack on them the next day. Later that night we went to midnight Mass and afterwards my husband was like "Let's get ice cream!" Of course, UDF was open so we split the biggest hot fudge sundae I have ever had. Then on Tuesday, I went to my other Grandma's and repeated the same Christmas eating ritual. On top of all that, for some reason I thought it would be a fun idea to order pizza last night so I ate half of a large spinach and tomato pizza. I can't even believe I was able to eat all of that food!
Well at least today I don't even want to look at food because I woke up with heartburn and indegestion:( And somehow by the grace of God I only gained .1 lb as of this morning.
Today I am going to throw out any leftovers in my fridge and start fresh.I have to admit I am battling with guilt this morning and I'm quite disappointed in myself. I could have enjoyed smaller portions of my favorite food or at least made time for a good workout like I did on Thanksgiving. Oh well, I'm going to take my own advice and just move on. I'm not going to gain my weight back in 2 days but I need to recognize that this kind of mindless eating is what let me to obesity in the first place. I haven't been tracking my food lately and I am walking a dangerous path. I NEED to track my food. Tracking has been the #1 tool that has aided in my weight loss success. I'm sure I'm not the only one who fell off the wagon this week. Let's get rid of all the leftovers and start fresh today!
Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Good day Spark People! I want to apologize for being MIA lately, I've been so busy between 2 jobs and holiday happenings that I haven't had the chance to keep up with everyone on Spark. Despite all the busy-ness, I have managed to stay on track and not only reach my first goal of 199lbs by Thanksgiving, but I'm now down to 185lbs! It's completely unreal to think 10 more lbs and I will be in the 100lbs lost club:)
I've had some ups and downs, and to be quite honest I have been shocked more than once that I still lost weight despite Holiday parties and periodically giving into treats. I guess that is the key word-"periodically". This holiday season I planned that I would allow myself certain days to not count calories or worry about what I ate. I've noticed that I get so full so fast now that I am able to control portion sizes without really thinking about it. At one party I filled up on grilled chicken, veggies, and salad, so much so that when the cookies came I physically could not eat another bite.
I was thinking about Christmas food past and all the cooking and eating I would do this time of year. One year I learned how to make chocolate fudge (the real kind not the microwave version) and I probably made and consumed an entire batch every other day. I had even planned on giving it out as Christmas gifts, but I couldn't because I ate it all! There is just seriously no reason why anyone should eat that much sugar!
There is only a few more days before Christmas, and I am feeling confident that I will make it through the Holiday season without sabotaging myself. My new years resolution this year will be to start a rigorous strength training program (something I have been neglecting lately) in hopes that this Spring I can comfortably wear a tank top for the first time in my life:) I'm not going to give my hopes up though, because I am showing a fair amount of loose flab on my upper arms. However, it's a small price to pay for how much better I feel mentally and physically. At least I'll be able to wear shorts! If only the rest of my body would tighten up as much as my legs have!
Happy Holidays everyone! Stay strong and keep pushing forward:)
Here is an updated progress picture: ( New dress size "L" no "X"!!!)
Friday, November 09, 2012
Ever since the cold weather started creeping in, I've been skipping workouts in favor of sipping hot chocolate in front of the fireplace. I was doing so well with my running, but I forgot how much I loathe bad weather! Yesterday I finally forced myself to go to the gym, just promising that I would do the elliptical for 20 minutes, no more. Once I actually got there I ended up on the elliptical for over an hour and spent another half hour strength training. And I actually enjoyed it and felt 100% better after my workout.
I'm starting to truly understand why Spark always recommends committing to just "10 minutes" of exercise. I used to think that was crazy, what is 10 minutes really going to do? But once you start you feel so good you don't want to stop! The hardest part is just getting up and getting started. So from now on I'm committing myself to "10 minutes" of exercise at least 4 days week:)
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