Sunday, January 13, 2013
After the past week, it was good to have a quiet weekend. Other than going to my first painting class -- which was very interesting although we didn't touch paintbrush to canvas yet -- I pretty much rested. I think I was emotionally exhausted after the past week. I also talked to my ex and he was feeling better, after being seriously ill over the past two weeks.
Progress towards goals this month so far: I went over calorie goals once this week (although not by much) and I only did cardio 3 days rather than 4. Also missed a day of ST. But, did yoga once, made my calorie burning goals AND lost a pound! So, although not perfect, close enough to see results. So, I'm satisfied for now!
I ordered a book from Amazon.com called The New Women's Rules for Weighlifting (or something like that) and I'm thinking about doing some serious lifting. I really want to strengthen overall, after spending so many years focusing on cardio. So, we shall see!
So glad the weekend was so calm and hoping the coming week is too! (A girl can dream, right?)
Have a great week!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I am on an eight day streak and of eating less than 1550 calories per day and it feels great!
I also went to a hot yoga class and it was really challenging. The heat really loosens up the muscles and it feels good to sweat it out.
In other ways this has not been a fabulous week, work has been stressful and I have some other worries but being in control of eating and exercise felt good.
I think I am too accommodating of other people's bad behavior. One of my colleagues was a total jerk to me yesterday and I did not directly confront it. Instead, I worked out the immediate problem but didn't address the fact that he said something insulting to me, basically implying that I wanted to take credit for his work. I am going to address it today, letting him know that's what came across to me and give him a chance to explain. I have a habit of avoiding conflict. I don't like to go off without thinking something through, but sometimes that stops me from dealing with things. I also tend to make excuses for people's bad behavior but I'm cutting back on that too. It's gotten me in a lot of trouble in my life (ex-husband, etc!). So, I'm dealing with this.
Grr...I'll be glad when this work week is over.
Tuesday, January 08, 2013
Today, thankfully, was better than yesterday. I kept to my plan to work out this morning at the gym and thought about what I needed to do to resolve work problems (see yesterday).
And then I went into work and had a talk with my boss, asked for definitive feedback on why I was not able to achieve the top ratings that I had worked so hard for, and got no definitive answer. I know I made my boss somewhat nervous and uncomfortable, which was not my intent, but I think it was a reasonable question. And now I've done what I can. Going to put off further decisions for now. Fact is, I have good bennies, I mean how many organizations still offer pensions? Not many. So, we shall see how it goes.
On that count, I felt like I dealt with that stress as well as I possibly could.
Also emailed my ex-SO today. We didn't have a nasty breakup... we were together for a year and I don't hate him. We just can't be together. He has been sick for a week and a half, sounded awful and I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up some groceries, which he did. So I did, and made him a little dinner. Felt so bad for him...he is a cancer survivor with a compromised immune system and he is really sick. I am saying prayers.
Tomorrow evening I am going to a hot yoga class, which is something new for me. And I am sure it will be challenging. I am looking forward to it.
Hug your loved ones tight and enjoy every moment to the fullest...we all do the best we can.
Monday, January 07, 2013
So, today sucked. I was really angry at work when I got my annual review and it was not what I expected and hoped for. I had a major project last year for which I was promised top reviews and bonus if I performed well. Which I did, by all objective measures. And today I was told that I did not get the top reviews or the bonus I had hoped for.
I have this really crappy thing I do when I get really angry: tears come to my eyes. I managed to state that I was disappointed and leave the room before the tears came to my eyes, but it pretty much sucked. I left a few minutes early and frankly wanted nothing more than to go home and have a drink or 3 and eat who knows what. But the fact is, no one died and it is not a catastrophe. I may need to think about what I need to do over the long term but my life is good.
So, I went home, I had a light dinner and I did the strength training I had planned to do. Then I had a couple glasses of wine and I am feeling calmer. I know why it bothered me: I don't feel like I'm valued for the work I do. I am also upset because it was something I had talked about with my SO last year when we were still together and it brought that back. It doesn't mean I wish I was still with him, I just miss being able to tell him.
I weathered that storm. I still need to say a bit more to my boss about it. And get my head straight about my value to the organization, whether or not it is noted. On the record, as they say. But that's tomorrow.
For now, t I am happy that I was able to avoid going over the edge. Eating and drinking my feelings. And in a half hour I am going to go upstairs, get ready for bed so I can get up early and get to the gym. And when I'm on the treadmill tomorrow morning watching Morning Joe (yes I am a political news junkie) I will think about how to deal with this. And then I will go to work and I will move forward. I am lucky, this is not a catastrophe, just a blip. And I dealt well with stress today!
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