KRISKECK   61,799
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Tracking Stress

Thursday, January 10, 2013

I KNOW these blogs are pretty boring. Sorry to anyone who is reading! But I made a commitment to keep track of my stress and how it affected my eating and exercise habits and now I am torturing mySparkfriends by keeping it!

So, to catch up on my jerky colleague who pissed me off yesterday. I talked to him. And her thanked me for letting know he was acting like a dick. Yes, that's what he said. Well, that was pretty accurate, so I said you're welcome.

And my ex texted me to thank me for bringing him groceries and cleaning his fridge while he was sick, and told me he was feeling better. Of course like a fool that made me cry.

I am SO glad tomorrow is Friday...I am tired of interacting with people.

Made a big pot of soup and had an extra glass of wine tonight. Planning to hit the gym tomorrow morning to make up for the fact that after 5 hours sleep I got up this morning, put on my workout clothes and fell back to sleep on the couch instead of going to the gym. Yes, we'll do tomorrow morning instead.

Sleep well!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEXGAL1 1/11/2013 6:53PM

    Gosh, sounds like you are dealing with a lot. I am so glad you have a week end coming up. Enjoy!

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ALLIEBROWN77 1/11/2013 10:49AM

    I'm glad for Friday, too. This week has felt so long, I'll be glad to crash a bit this weekend.


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HAWAIIANMAMMA 1/10/2013 11:14PM

    I have on more than one occasion passed out on the couch in my gym clothes after having every intention of working out. Haha! Put yourself first and always listen to your body. You can do it!

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KERRIELYNN719 1/10/2013 9:58PM

    wow, you're so much more confident than I would ever be...I would never say anything to anyone no matter how much they annoyed me...Good for you!!

If it makes your stress level go down, I heard laughing is supposed to, in my step class tonight, we were shuffling on this narrow (okay, over a foot wide step) and I managed to shuffle my butt off of it and onto the floor. It was quite the laugh for everyone. Now I have a battle bruise to complain about! A funny battle bruise at least!

Hope you have a good night!

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Eight Day Streak and Hot Yoga

Thursday, January 10, 2013

I am on an eight day streak and of eating less than 1550 calories per day and it feels great!

I also went to a hot yoga class and it was really challenging. The heat really loosens up the muscles and it feels good to sweat it out.

In other ways this has not been a fabulous week, work has been stressful and I have some other worries but being in control of eating and exercise felt good.

I think I am too accommodating of other people's bad behavior. One of my colleagues was a total jerk to me yesterday and I did not directly confront it. Instead, I worked out the immediate problem but didn't address the fact that he said something insulting to me, basically implying that I wanted to take credit for his work. I am going to address it today, letting him know that's what came across to me and give him a chance to explain. I have a habit of avoiding conflict. I don't like to go off without thinking something through, but sometimes that stops me from dealing with things. I also tend to make excuses for people's bad behavior but I'm cutting back on that too. It's gotten me in a lot of trouble in my life (ex-husband, etc!). So, I'm dealing with this.

Grr...I'll be glad when this work week is over.


Today was better than yesterday...

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Today, thankfully, was better than yesterday. I kept to my plan to work out this morning at the gym and thought about what I needed to do to resolve work problems (see yesterday).

And then I went into work and had a talk with my boss, asked for definitive feedback on why I was not able to achieve the top ratings that I had worked so hard for, and got no definitive answer. I know I made my boss somewhat nervous and uncomfortable, which was not my intent, but I think it was a reasonable question. And now I've done what I can. Going to put off further decisions for now. Fact is, I have good bennies, I mean how many organizations still offer pensions? Not many. So, we shall see how it goes.

On that count, I felt like I dealt with that stress as well as I possibly could.

Also emailed my ex-SO today. We didn't have a nasty breakup... we were together for a year and I don't hate him. We just can't be together. He has been sick for a week and a half, sounded awful and I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up some groceries, which he did. So I did, and made him a little dinner. Felt so bad for him...he is a cancer survivor with a compromised immune system and he is really sick. I am saying prayers.

Tomorrow evening I am going to a hot yoga class, which is something new for me. And I am sure it will be challenging. I am looking forward to it.

Hug your loved ones tight and enjoy every moment to the fullest...we all do the best we can.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPICHICK1 1/9/2013 8:57AM

    Glad to hear you had a talk with your boss.
Sorry to hear your ex isn't well.
emoticon emoticon

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Lots of Stress

Monday, January 07, 2013

So, today sucked. I was really angry at work when I got my annual review and it was not what I expected and hoped for. I had a major project last year for which I was promised top reviews and bonus if I performed well. Which I did, by all objective measures. And today I was told that I did not get the top reviews or the bonus I had hoped for.

I have this really crappy thing I do when I get really angry: tears come to my eyes. I managed to state that I was disappointed and leave the room before the tears came to my eyes, but it pretty much sucked. I left a few minutes early and frankly wanted nothing more than to go home and have a drink or 3 and eat who knows what. But the fact is, no one died and it is not a catastrophe. I may need to think about what I need to do over the long term but my life is good.

So, I went home, I had a light dinner and I did the strength training I had planned to do. Then I had a couple glasses of wine and I am feeling calmer. I know why it bothered me: I don't feel like I'm valued for the work I do. I am also upset because it was something I had talked about with my SO last year when we were still together and it brought that back. It doesn't mean I wish I was still with him, I just miss being able to tell him.

I weathered that storm. I still need to say a bit more to my boss about it. And get my head straight about my value to the organization, whether or not it is noted. On the record, as they say. But that's tomorrow.

For now, t I am happy that I was able to avoid going over the edge. Eating and drinking my feelings. And in a half hour I am going to go upstairs, get ready for bed so I can get up early and get to the gym. And when I'm on the treadmill tomorrow morning watching Morning Joe (yes I am a political news junkie) I will think about how to deal with this. And then I will go to work and I will move forward. I am lucky, this is not a catastrophe, just a blip. And I dealt well with stress today!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPICHICK1 1/8/2013 1:19PM

    How could they PROMISE something and then un-promise it?? That is completely ridiculous! I happy to hear that you are going to take it up with your boss once you have had some time to think it over, but I understand how you can get so angry you cry or get teared up.
I was in a really bad relationship a long time ago. I was abused. Instead of my feelings coming out as anger it came out as sadness. I cried a lot at that time because somehow it was more acceptable for a woman to cry than it was for her to get angry.
Here's to avoiding food and drink as a band-aid and using strength training as a stress reliever!

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SBHPATRICK 1/7/2013 10:15PM

    How crummy, I'm sorry. But I'm very impressed with how you coped with everything thrown at you today and your plan for dealing with tomorrow.

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KERRIELYNN719 1/7/2013 9:29PM

    Sorry you had a crappy day...But you did great dealing with it!

I have the same issue with the tears. When I get frustrated, hurt, anything like that, it simply a matter of getting to a place by myself so I can let it all out. It does often make me feel slightly better, so I guess whatever works, right?

I've found that I am love to think when I'm running, its just my thoughts (usually about not dying on the run, but I get lost in how to deal with things, lists of things I need to do, how and why I feel the way I do, etc) Who knew exercise would actually be good for you? :)

Have a great run on your treadmill and think through your problems....good luck!

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Sunday, January 06, 2013

Today was tough, emotionally. Recent breakup with SO, and a day we would have spent together doing fun and familiar things. I knew it would be difficult so I prepared. Monitoring stress and trying to be proactive, as I promised myself…

So, I planned for it, emotionally and physically. I believe that it was right for both of us and I reminded myself about the reasons why... and I still thought it was right for both of us. I prepared and tracked my food and drink ahead of time, and although the day isn’t over, I think I will be successful and I know that was the right thing to do. I feel confident that I will stay within my calorie range. I think I should have reached out to friends for help…it would have been better to ask for support but I didn’t. Next time I will be sure to do that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIPPICHICK1 1/7/2013 12:44PM

    Friends are super important! Yes you need that support. Ask for it now. Don't wait until "next time."
Sending you oodles of emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 1/7/2013 10:58AM

    That's very wise that you prepared like that.

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KRISKECK 1/7/2013 6:56AM

    Thanks for the good words, friends! I am feeling much better today.

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SBHPATRICK 1/6/2013 8:31PM

    Thinking of you.

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KERRIELYNN719 1/6/2013 8:15PM

    Preparing is key, but always make sure you ask for help! It will always make you feel better, and the people around you will love you even more for the fact that you asked!

Great job sticking to your plan, and hope things get better...

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MNJONES2 1/6/2013 7:50PM

    I think you are doing wonderfully handling a difficult situation - you did wonderfully planning ahead. I admire your courage and dedication!

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