Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Well, I haven't been blogging much lately, and despite the fact that I log onto SP every day to read my friends' blogs, I haven't been very active.
Generally I keep my posts to the subject at hand: Healthy living, weight control, and exercise. I'm always amazed by those of you who can lay it all out, whatever is going on in your lives, your trials as well as your triumphs.
There is, definitely, a mental aspect to this journey, and everyday happenings, good and bad, play a huge role in whether or not we are successful on our journey to better health and wellbeing.
There are many different ways we can cope in any given situation, and if we discover that our coping style is not successful, there are ways to learn how to copy differently. It's largely trial and error. And while I believe you can teach an old dog new tricks, it will take the old dog a bit longer.
Rambling here, I digress. This is going to be about my current state of affairs.
I believe in order to keep my sanity, I need to put it out there somewhere, and SP seems like a good place to start.
If you have followed my status updates you are aware that there is trouble in paradise with my 17-year-old son. Huge trouble in paradise. I've been dealing with his defiance for over a year now, his hanging with the wrong crowd, his getting kicked out of school, his smoking weed, his staying out all night, and on and on and on.
Yes, I've been dealing, but really feeling helpless, not knowing what to do, wrecking my brain for a way out, and not finding any solutions.
I'm convinced that my son is depressed and would greatly profit from therapy, yet, he refuses, not matter what I bring to the table.
Sh!t his the fan this past Saturday. He'd snuck out of the house right around midnight on Friday night and stayed out all night and ended up taking some hallucinogenic drug, which made him go off the deep end.
When I returned from grocery shopping, he was home, in handcuffs in the back of a police car, paramedics and ambulance also at the scene. Everything in my garage had been trashed. My neighbor, who heard the ruckus and came over to see what was going on got punched in the face, but did not press charges.
I spent the rest of Saturday in the ER. I was furious and had him committed on a 51/50, so he spent 72 hours in a psych hospital. Didn't do any good of course. We picked him up yesterday and he still does not get it and is in need of good therapy more than ever before.
Let's just say, things are a little tense around here today, and I feel like I'm sitting on a barrel of gun powder...
As I single, widowed, mother, I have been raising my kids by myself for the past 10 years. My daughter, 21, turned out just fine, but my son, my pride and joy (sarcasm here...), just takes the cake. I can understand that it is difficult for a boy growing up without a dad, but hey, there are many others and they turn out alright.
He will be 18 in two months, and I'm seriously considering blackmail at that time. Either get yourself into therapy or get out.
I desperately need a break!
Good thing I'm not one of those emotionally charged people, I'm actually rather tough :), else I probably would have lost my sanity a long time ago.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, as we weather this storm.
And, if anybody wants to know how to lose 3 lbs in 4 days, talk to me...
Saturday, June 11, 2011
(And no comments on the name please... not my pick...)
Meet my new walking buddy, Maymay :)
He's a 4 month old German shepherd.
We picked him up last weekend.
Sure is strange to have a dog in the house/yard again; it's been almost 2 years, and it was time for a new puppy.
Friday, May 06, 2011
I'm reading, I'm listening, I'm learning, and I'm experimenting.
Impossible for me to sustain 1200 calorie days. Here is my life when my goal is 1200 daily calories:
Day 1 - no problem
Day 2 - still okay
Day 3 - starting to struggle
Day 4 - barely able to stay with it
Day 5 - PARTY :( - (Not the good kind).
Day 6 - party recovery and realization that 4 days of hard work became undone just like this... This, too, is yoyo dieting and while it keeps me within my weight range I'm working way too hard to stay there.
"Eat more nutrient dense foods", you may say. But I already do. So while this is good practice it is not MY answer.
"Use your weight range", you may say. True, but my mind does not work that way. When I'm in the 1200 calorie mode, 1201 calories will put my mind over the top. Who made up this 1200 calorie story anyway?
I'm sure that many people get great results living on 1200 calories a day, and once upon a time so did I. But things change, metabolism changes over time due to various circumstances, and I can attest to the fact that 10 years ago, losing weight was a lot easier than it is now.
I have learned from more than one source, that a messed up metabolism can be healed in a matter of a month or two, but you have to abandon your belief that the only way to lose weight is to keep your calories as low as possible.
Rather than 1200-1200-1200-1200-the sky's the limit days, consistency is key. Keeping intake consistent at a higher daily calorie intake is key.
True or false? I'll be able to report back in a couple of weeks.
For the past few days, or maybe even a week I've been eating a minimum of 1400 calories a day with a max. limit of 1700. (It is an absolute mystery to me, why my head accepts a calorie range between 1400 and 1700 calories, but goes absolutely berserk with a range of 1200 to 1600.)
Truthfully, I lost count of how many days it's been, because I'm totally coasting. Food does not dominate my thoughts and my days. I have a pretty good eating routine which is usually breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner. A second snack either between breakfast and lunch or after dinner as needed. I hold myself to preset time ranges. Crazy? Maybe, but it works for me right now.
Of course I jump on the scale every couple of days to monitor this. I'm not gaining, on the contrary. I love it when I can live in my 29 Levis :)
I'm excited to find out how long I can ride this ride and what results it will bring me.
On a non-Spark related note: I am without kids tonight and I'm absolutely ecstatic! DD is house-sitting & DS is spending the night at a friend's house. I've already finished my "yeah-no-kids-until-tomorrow-night" dance (can I log it? :)) I know, I'm terrible, but honestly I'm completely "teenagered" out. My doors are locked, my shades are drawn, the world is outside and in here there is nothing put PEACE!
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