KOSHIE1   102,156
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OK. Now it's REALLY over!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

I got a call back (FINALLY!) from the district attorney regarding the case against my brother. They told me they dismissed it since
1: they didn't want to get involved in a "family matter" and
2: it seemed to have nothing to do with the state of Wyoming.

Unbelievable! If he had killed me, it STILL would've fit those two parameters for dismissal! And totally cutting off my air supply WAS an act against my life! I consider that a VERY serious thing! Unfortunately, dismissed is dismissed is dismissed. And that's not nothing. Will I ever be able to feel safe going home to see my mother? No. Does this mean he's successfully taken away ALL my family? Yes. Does this mean he "won"? Yes. Given how abuse affects perception, they all consider Tim's act to be reasonable. ...because I looked over my shoulder and said "no."

There just aren't words to describe my sadness.

  
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DOOBRIE 2/13/2014 4:43PM

    emoticon

How sad.

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NOWYOUDIDIT 2/13/2014 2:49PM

    I'm so sorry.
My mother is dominated by my 2 sisters. I can't and haven't seen her in 4 years. All because of one sister's mental illness. She lives with my mom, she can't keep an apartment. It's hard. I'll never be told when or if my mother dies.
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NOWYOUDIDIT 2/13/2014 2:49PM

    I'm so sorry.
My mother is dominated by my 2 sisters. I can't and haven't seen her in 4 years. All because of one sister's mental illness. She lives with my mom, she can't keep an apartment. It's hard. I'll never be told when or if my mother dies.
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It's over.

Monday, February 10, 2014

I got a letter from my attorney. Charges against me have been dropped. It only took 6 months for the state to finally conclude that there is no evidence against me to uphold the assault charge. It appears that instinctively fighting for your life while being choked is allowed by law after all.

The state still hasn't contacted me regarding my assault charges against my brother, who choked me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOWYOUDIDIT 2/11/2014 1:54AM

    emoticon What a relief. Sorry about your brother.

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WOUBBIE 2/10/2014 6:35PM

    emoticon

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DOOBRIE 2/10/2014 6:14PM

    So glad the charges against you have been dropped.

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GLC2009 2/10/2014 6:00PM

    wow, makes me glad to be an only child emoticon

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MARTYJOE 2/10/2014 5:38PM

    Well I hope the sibling rivalry has ceased. Sometimes its not easy to get along with family....but they are family. Hope everything works out

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ROBBIEY 2/10/2014 5:26PM

  emoticon Stay Safe!!!!

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Back from my trip and visiting family. Not boring.

Saturday, November 23, 2013

So my brother choked me in July and I called the police and we both spent the night in jail since I somehow scratched his arm while fighting for my life.... Yes, we are pressing charges against each other.... and my family is playing "blame the victim" since they all believe I should not have called authorities. What should I have done? Die? Allow myself to continue to be further intimidated anytime I try to see my family and he's around? It doesn't matter what I do. The moment my brother decided to strangle me, he took away my family. I believed that immediately after the fact, and I confirmed that (for the most part) on this first attempt to see any relative of mine. They blame me and so I do not feel "safe" around them either. So if it doesn't matter and they are lost to me no matter whether or not I press charges -- why do I press charges? --Because I still love and care about them and it is only a matter of time before he threatens their lives IF I do nothing. If I do something (press charges and win), it might give my brother pause before he acts, and it might give my family the "permission" they need not to abuse or be abused. Who knows? My line in the sand might save a life -- even though it possibly ruins my brother's. This is the only way I know to stop the transmission of violence through the generations of my family.

Really? What did *I* do? I hope we aren't still playing blame the victim! I had the temerity to utter the word "no" to him. Nope, I wasn't screaming: I wasn't sticking my face in his; in fact, I wasn't even angry. But I said "no."

So... the ones I saw tried to restrain themselves. They said nothing. The tension of saying nothing was thick and heavy and repressive. I tried to speak to my sister (who hadn't been there to witness the event) and she... declared her unhappiness with me. And wasn't interested in listening to me.

On the upside... I got to see my dental-student son and let him work on my teeth. Scary (I can't help it, he's my baby!) but he did a fine job! And I learned that no one had talked to him about what had happened and for that I am grateful. With my own kids, I have tried not to pass on the violence or the "blame the victim" attitude that gets adopted in violent and oppressed families... and I'm glad to report that my son did not express condemnation of my actions.

Further on the upside, I got to visit with friends, who allowed me to vent and who were supportive, and that really helped. I attended my 35th college reunion and had lots of fun. I needed that! For awhile, I was 20 again and in a safe place. I relaxed and enjoyed myself and renewed myself and restored my strength. An awesome 4 days! I had thought reunions must be tiresome, boring things -- but I was SO wrong! I attended interesting lectures, re-joined the Marching Owl Band on the field, re-connected with old friends and laughed and laughed, danced, made a few new friends, and ate until I popped. (okay, that last part wasn't THAT good!) If YOU haven't been back, I highly recommend that you give it a whirl!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 11/26/2013 11:45PM

    I'm so glad you're OK and also that you went! People have to held accountable for their actions - especially such violent ones. Went through this myself during my extremely brief first marriage. I was too young and trusting until the violence started. I would not allow that and had to leave the state but I still pressed charges! The only way to stop my ex-husband was to call him out publically on it. Good for you!

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NOWYOUDIDIT 11/24/2013 3:41AM

    Our family isn't violent now that we are adults- but they are verbally abusive. When my father was dying my youngest sister threatened to kill my mom if she didn't put him where she wanted him. I show my mom respect and saw her as his wife and told her my sister had no right. But my mom was afraid and now in her old age allows my 2 younger sisters to tell her what to do now that dad died. I can't even visit my own mother and she can't visit me. We talk on the phone often. But I always fear the day she doesn't answer the phone because they won't tell me she's gone. I too keep this from my children. My oldest found out a few things before she died and wanted to defend me. Bless her heart. But how do you defend yourself from things that make no sense?

Sending you hugs and prayers Koshie!

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KICK-SS 11/23/2013 10:10PM

    Koshie, I have to agree with Erin, NO one has the right to put their hands on another person.. for any reason! I'm sorry it has happened to you, it must be a terrible way to have to live. I'm glad you went beyond that though and had a good time with your friends and attend your college reunion and other fun things while you were there.



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ERIN1957 11/23/2013 2:49PM

    My God Koshie, I never knew.
No one has the right to put their hands on another! NO ONE!!!Scratched...I would have fought like a tiger and there would have been more then a scratch. It was not right and the courts will see this. He made the wrong choice and he will pay the penalty for that, as he should.
My gosh families that protect the guilty and for what reason? HE WAS WRONG! No one has the right to put there hands on another and never to harm. Heck you can't even touch a baby belly, more or less choke someone, sister or not!
I am so sorry this happened Koshie, so very sorry. I know the hands of abusers and no on has the right to do these things, no matter what was said or done. You are right in standing up for yourself and what is right, breaking that pattern and holding him accountable.

I am glad the rest of your trip was OK. I am assuming it was....because you didn't come back early and the reunion was great!

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KKKAREN 11/23/2013 11:46AM

    All I can say is WOW!

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LC Tip of the Day #150

Sunday, November 03, 2013

Forget about being “bad” or “weak”. So what? We all have “moments”. You know, you didn’t learn to walk by giving up when you fell down. Simply begin anew at the first available opportunity. You are that much further ahead than last time! Don’t give up your ‘edge’!

  
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NOWYOUDIDIT 11/4/2013 5:57PM

    Amen!! emoticon emoticon

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ERIN1957 11/4/2013 6:05AM

    Awesome advice!

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JLKL1980 11/3/2013 8:45PM

    Koshie - I needed this blog today! I was feeling kind of bad about not tracking my food today, but reading this made me so much better about things. But tomorrow, I get back on track. emoticon

emoticon Joy

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Happy Halloween! Adult Humor #13

Thursday, October 31, 2013

I've been searching for SOMEthing to do on Halloween.... so I'll go to a flash mob scene this evening and wear my Ghost Buster's Costume -- which I made for a video for church. I posted a few pix on my SP page.

There was a haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which 'lived' there was feared by all.
However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.
The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.
So what's the moral of the story?
The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

* * * *

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as 'Rocky' in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.
"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep a few minutes ago?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight too."
Now there's a lad after my own heart!

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Why won't ANGRY Witches fly on their brooms?
They are afraid they'll fly off the handle....

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Have a Happy Halloween!
I wish you a full bucket!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMLOCOLINDA 11/1/2013 2:42AM

    Just wanted to stop by and apologize for not commenting on how many of your wonderful Halloween funnies made my day. I hope you are going to continue with them for Turkey Day?!! You look fabulous in your Ghostbuster outfit!!

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WOUBBIE 10/31/2013 11:41AM

    Woohoo! Now I know Who I'm Gonna Call!!

emoticon emoticon

(I thought the fitness gizmo looked like a flux capacitor or a proton pack or something.)

Comment edited on: 10/31/2013 11:43:42 AM

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CAROL494 10/31/2013 11:35AM

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