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I NEED A LAUGH TODAY!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

FOR A GOOD LAUGH......This is for the over 50 generation: A friend sent this to me .. I hadn't shared it before ... didn't know if I should ... but here goes:)

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of every thing except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it,
and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating". You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-tur n at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."






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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GUNI50 10/6/2010 9:51PM

    Haven't laughed so much in a long time...out loud too!

Guni

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NOTSPEEDY 9/15/2010 10:58AM

    That was a good one. My how times change.

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HANGING IN THERE!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I had a good day today, although I didn't exercise as much as I usually do emoticon
Just busy around the house and bathing the dog. She's a German Shorthaired Pointer and weighs about 85 lbs. I bath her in the bathtub (she's an inside/outside dog), and she was really good today. I've also been washing all the winter jackets, getting ready for Old Man Winter.. I can't believe the things we save ... awful! I filled a big garbage bag with clean, washed jackets to give to the Salvation Army. Also have another bag that my DH will take to our local Hospital for the homeless people that have been admitted to the Psych ward, and usually have nothing to wear.

I have eaten healthy today ... for supper I had a lo-cal wrap filled with chopped onion, celery, cucumber & zucchini.. topped it up with a forkful of shredded roast beef. It was really good, and filling too! I had never thought much about making wraps until today. So glad I did emoticon

We are having unexpected company tonight and I have nothing prepared!! Made a No Bake Graham Cracker Cheesycake yesterday (recipe from Sparks) .. topped with Lo Fat Cherry Pie Filling. It's been sitting in the fridge since then.. Guess I'll try it out on our company emoticon

Our 16 yr old grandson is in Parry Sound, Ontario this weekend. He is competing in the Canadian Championships for Endurocross (dirt biking). He's the Western Canadian Champ, so earned the right to go to Canadians. If he wins these two races, he goes back to Quebec next weekend for 2 more races... then it's over. He's done so well this year so I hope he can do it now! Our youngest son (his Dad) flew down there with him.

I've posted a few more pictures on my page .. check 'em out.

I've also been reading blogs ... for you that are struggling & disheartened .. DON'T GIVE UP .... YOU CAN DO IT. If I can, anyone can ! I have had so much inspiration from this site ... keep on reading articles; secrets & anything else you can .. it really helps. Try to exercise if you can. There are chair exercises for those who can not manage other exercise. I never exercised before... used excuses like, "My knees are too bad", etc. . you get the drift ... AquaFit is excellent for those with aches & pains. I still have 'aches & pains', and excuses too emoticon but I'm getting there! I even walk for at least 30 minutes a day (knees are fine emoticon) DON'T GIVE UP... IF YOU HAVE A BAD DAY, WEEK OR EVEN MONTH, just get back into the swing of things.. you'll be glad you did!

  


GOAL WEIGHT RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!

Thursday, September 09, 2010

I'm almost at my goal weight. Four & a half months ago I began this journey, but not really believing that I could lose weight but determined to give it a try. I have benefitted so much from SparkPeople. Now ..
* I have the ability to shop for clothes 'cause I like them, not just because they fit.
* I have tons of energy.
* lowered blood pressure
* lot less aching back & creaky knees.

The best part of all is that it doesn't feel like I've been on a 'diet' anymore. It's just a matter of making better choices each & every day. I have discovered that I love crisp, fresh veggies; salads; 0% cottage cheese ... I could go on forever! The biggest change has been portion control ... I'm used to that now:)

Eating healthy, losing weight, isn't a deprivation. It's a state of mind. Now I've got my brain in gear I KNOW I CAN DO IT!

I've also made a huge discovery ... I LOVE TO EXERCISE! Why I didn't realize this before is beyond me. I remember 40 years ago, I walked a lot every day & telling my Mom that she should get out & walk .. that she'd feel so much better.. I should have listened to my unwanted advice & I wouldn't have felt like I did 4-1/2 months ago
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This is definitely a change in lifestyle and I love every minute of it emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADYLEE13 9/10/2010 12:57AM

    Better late than never Joan. Hopefully we are all going to make it to goal this time round, before IT IS too late.
I am so proud of you and you have got to be proud of yourself. Especially as you are now enjoying it, and no longer feel like you are dieting, but just a way of life.
I hope I can feel that way soon. It is still an effort for me even though I am motivated.
If, I mean WHEN I reach my goal, for the first time I will weigh less than my DH who never gained weight in his life, until this last year, so now he is going up and I am going down, and it will be amazing if I get lighter than him. He only weighs 157 now, but he was always quite thin, he prefers to say SLIM, LOL
When you reach your goal we will have to celebrate, what do you suggest??
Keep up the good work. I really am not sure what my goal should be. I see some people aiming for a lot lower than I thought I could ever be, but now I am not so sure. I am just going to keep going until I think I don't need to lose any more, so we will see when that happens, hopefully by Christmas, that IS my goal.

Take good care of yourself
God Bless you
Love Lee
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SLNDERSOON 9/9/2010 11:41PM

    Hey, that is wonderful! You should really be proud of yourself. I am coming along slow, but not giving up. emoticon

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JAQUANAH 9/9/2010 9:45PM

    Congratulations. It's wonderful that you have your goal in sight.

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HVMBRU 9/9/2010 3:56PM

    Sooo happy for you! Sometimes it takes some of us longer to get where you are but we can't ever give up. It seems as I surround myself with more positive people, I too am feeling better with less pain and physical disabilities. If I learned anything on SP it is to project how I really feel about myself and not how I think people expect me to be.

Helen

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MMNICKS 9/9/2010 3:56PM

    What a wonderful testimony, you should be very proud. Woo Hoo, great job. I hope I am posting a similar blog in 4 1/2 months!!

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LARRYPHIPPS 9/9/2010 3:31PM

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, YOU CAN DO IT.

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A LONG LOOK BACK

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The year is 1910
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1910:
************ ********* ************
The average life expectancy for men was 47 years.
Fuel for this car was sold in drug stores only.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower !
The average US wage in 1910 was 22 cents per hour.
The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year ..
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all Doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.'
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.
The Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars ....
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada , was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write and
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school..
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.
Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,
Regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'
( Shocking? DUH! )
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help ....
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !


emoticon Joan

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 7/23/2010 4:04PM

    I remember when gas was only 25 cents a gallon and a Coke was only 10 cents a bottle (and you got a nickel back for the bottle when it was returned), Now gas is about $2.90 a gallon and a Coke is $1.75 in a plastic bottle. I don't want to turn the clock back tho. I'm just happy to be alive and drinking water.

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KOOLNANA5 7/23/2010 12:12AM

    I'm glad to be living in this day & age too:) When we got married (1955) my DH made $1.10 an hour .. it's amazing to think of it now! When I was about 5 yrs old, we lived in a very small town, and we were VERY poor. The local butcher told my Mom to send me (on certain days) early in the mornings and he would give us the heart/liver etc for free. Guess they had the world by the tail! The dirty 30's was a terrible time!
DH and I could survive it, but I KNOW that our kids couldn't!We have so much to be thankful now-a-days emoticon emoticon emoticon
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GRAMMAP1 7/22/2010 11:13PM

    We've come along way BABY! but not all the changes have been for the better. On the other hand, I am glad to be living in the current Society! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HELLORITA 7/22/2010 6:50PM

    I made a dollar an hour when I started working. My aunt said she got 1 dollar for wallpapering a whole room plus the ceiling. emoticon

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CAROLYNVIL 7/22/2010 3:32PM

    amazing isn't it. I know now and then I think of things like that, for instance my Dad made $7.00 dolars a week when I was born in 1939. My dad said beer was a nickle a picture.Bread ( a loaf) was 2 cents.I remember when I was little my grampa had T.B. . It is amazing the changes since I was little.

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THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My cousin sent me this ... hope it's o.k. to blog it! Have a laugh on me:)




You have to be a certain age to appreciate this.

THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES: (if you don't know what clotheslines are, better skip this)

1. You had to wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes- walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.(We never did this,)

2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, and always hang "whites" with "whites," and hang them first. Longer, heavier things in the back. Shorter things in the front so the wind could blow through it all.( I never knew this)

3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders - always by the tail! What would the neighbors think? Pin lightly on the seams.

4. Wash day on a Monday! . . Never hang clothes on the weekend, or Sunday, for Heaven's sake!

5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your "unmentionables" in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y'know!)

6. It didn't matter if it was sub zero weather . .. Clothes would "freeze-dry."

7. Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were "tacky!"

8. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

9. Clothes off the line before dinner time, neatly folded in the clothes basket, and ready to be ironed.

10. IRONED?! Well, that's a whole other subject


A POEM

A clothesline was a news forecast
To neighbors passing by.
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.

For then you'd see the “fancy sheets”
And towels upon the line;
You'd see the “company table cloths”
With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby’s birth
From folks who lived inside -
As brand new infant clothes were hung,
So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed,
You'd know how much they'd grown!

It also told when illness struck,
As extra sheets were hung;
Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too,
Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, “Gone on vacation now”
When lines hung limp and bare.
It told, “We're back!” when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy and gray,
As neighbors carefully raised their brows,
And looked the other way . . .

But clotheslines now are of the past,
For dryers make work much less.
Now what goes on inside a home
Is anybody's guess!

I really miss that way of life
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HELLORITA 7/22/2010 6:52PM

    I remembering hanging clothes when I was in third grade. The neighbors used to tell me what a good girl I was for helping my mom. THen I wanted to go this job all of the time.

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CATLADY52 7/22/2010 4:13PM

    Ah yes, how well I remember lugging the clothes basket into the back yard, dodging bees and dog poop trying to get everything hung up before it dried out in the basket. Then the rush to get it all in before night time things are all scrunched together. Thank heavens for dryers but OH how I wish for 'line dried' sheets again. emoticon

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MABELL1WFTX 7/22/2010 5:01AM

    oh how i remember the days of the clothesline and wish i still had one for my sheets and towels. nothing like the fresh smell of sun dried linens and fluff of out door dried towels. you never saw a clothespin on my mother's clothesline. and her clothes were hung in uniform sizes. never dare mix washclothes and towels. she had the prettiest line of wash in the country side.

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JEANSHEP2 7/21/2010 9:25PM

    Oh my what memories. When my children were still in diapers, I can still hear the "pop" when I would be shaking and hanging diapers on the line. It was necessary for me to straighten the edges so when folding the diapers, they were neat.

Don't know if you can even find cloth diapers now.

Thanks for the reminder of how different the world was then.

Jean

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HAPPYBASKET 7/21/2010 7:51PM

    Loved this Blog. I do remember it all & yes we had to wipe down the clothes line before using it. I was glad I knew about that because after I was married & lived in Europe, The oil furncaces sometime rained soot. On rainy days I strung clotheslines back & forth across on bedroom & put the children in our room to sleep. Otherwise they would never get dry. Yes, I did hang the undies behind the sheets. OH MY! Now in this Adult community we are not supposed to hang clothes outside to dry but one section of my patio is completely blocked from view by vines & there is nothing like "the smell of line dried sheets. It is SO dry here everything is dry within a half hour. Thank you for the gfreat Memory. emoticon

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SUNSHINEGB 7/21/2010 7:22PM

    I remember each one you wrote here Joan! How I loved and would still love the scent of fresh air on the newly brought in clean clothes!

Unfortunately, my hubby took down our clothes line years ago so everything is auto-dried in the dryer! Aw well, sure saves me a lot of work!
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MARLADIA 7/21/2010 5:47PM

  Unfortunately I did have to wipe off the clothes lines before we hung the clothes out. Brings back some good memories. Thanks for sharing.

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PAULAR03 7/21/2010 5:45PM

    I love my clothesline. I think I am the only one in the neighborhood that uses one. Who knows what they think! Anyway, loved the blog.

Paula emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/21/2010 5:45:56 PM

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