Wednesday, May 04, 2011
Lotta married on 14th. February 1993 and Sayali left home on 20th. August 2000 to study at RIT and marry her Fiance there---since then it's been just Sudhir and me---staidly meandering along together.I've never really been the "mushy" Mother---I mean I've paddled their bottoms for most things---sometimes so hard that they've had trouble sitting down on their butts---Sudhir in fact has been the quintessential "Mom" for them---that's why they wish him specifically on both--Mother's AND Father's Days!!My way of showing love has been in feeding them good healthy Food and ensuring their healthy daily routine---not to forget disciplining them---most of the time!!
I always had one simple rule---if one or the other came crying to me---both would get paddled---because every action begets a reaction--hence neither of these two was innocent at all!!I'd never buy them Sweets either---because I didn't believe in bad habits of any sort---but Sudhir was another story!!!A pushover, he'd give in to all their reasonable demands---rarely saying "No" to them!!For instance Sayali adored Sweets(still does) and on our way to Mummy's home on Weekends, would dig in her heels like a Mule in front of the Sweet Shop on the corner---I'd drag her screaming and shouting to Mummy's without buying her any---but Sudhir would stop and buy her all the Sweets she wanted---ending up controlling only the number!!So needless to say I became the "disposable" Parent--because all I said all the time was "No"!!!
The reason for me being the disciplinarian was the fact that Sudhir was extremely busy during their early years and so got very little quality time with the Girls during the Week---and I didn't want him to fritter it away on the Weekends trying to teach them about Right and Wrong-----I was there to do that anyway.Besides he left by 8 a.m. and returned after 9 p.m.---so I felt he deserved his quiet and peace in the house!!Of course I'd keep him up to date every night with their mischeif as well as their better conduct---for as their father it was his prerogative to know what his children were up to---but if I had already taken the action needed he never interfered---only letting them know subtly that he was aware of both the Good and the Bad things---so in their eyes we always stood united!!
My own relationship with Daddy became stronger after he began taking Life easier---but I was already 11 years old by then and by the time I was 21 years old he passed away---it's been my greatest regret since then!!!I wanted my daughters to enjoy and cherish their time with their father---and it has paid me rich dividends today!!We have all had great fun along the way---sometimes they grouse about not having been to Discotheques etc.before their marriages---their ultimate coming home time was 8 o'clock each evening---which they still bitch about---specially Sayali because she was 26 years old when she left us!!However fact remains that both of them were pampered silly by their indulgent father---even to the extent of wheedling out their monthly Allowance from him 5-6 times each month---and then picking his pocket and cheekily telling him about it later!!Me--I was a pretty strict about Money---but they even caught me on the wrong foot at times!!I learnt to give them exact change to buy Vegetables and Fruits---otherwise I'd never get any change back---no matter which denomination I gave them the entire sum just disappeared!!!They'd be waiting to fleece me---but then I was their "Maa"---so I learnt really fast!!!
Lotta was a lazy brat---immersed in Books and her own Dream World---loving nothing more than to just lie back--read her favourite Books and watch old Movies on the Video----and eat like a glutton!!!She had this annoying habit of eating everything that was cooked at home---in small Steel Bowls or "Katories" at regular intervals during the Afternoon---finishing the Dish that caught her fancy---literally polishing off every tiny bit of it from the Vessel!!!Where she put all of it is beyond me--for like Sudhir she always looked thin as a Reed!!!Both of these Girls drove me mad during the Vacations---needed to constantly stuff their mouths with Goodies!!Lotta to learnt to drive---but so lack-a-daisically that after a while we let her be---though today she has turned into a fine Driver--ferrying her daughter to and from School!!!
Sayali learnt to drive at 18 and was gifted a brand new Car on her 19th Birthday by her proud father and was thus unleashed on the streets of Bombay--bowling around Town at break-neck speed---earning Parking and Speeding Tickets by the Gross!!!She became an expert at wheedling Policemen or "Havaldaars" to let her off the hook as well as making friends with Anil---our neighbourhood Garage Owner and Car Mechanic---to get minor bumps and scratches camoulflaged expertly on the sly---while we were bliss fully unaware of these measures!!
Her Best Friend Laxmi---they've been Best Friends for 33 years now--and she literally painted the Town Red--playing hookey and cutting Classes at Sophia's to see Movies,eat at the Taj and Sheraton Hotels and just generally fool around daily---arriving home at exact 8 p.m.---with a Butter-wouldn't-melt in her mouth expression!!!
Today both are Individuals in their own right---and while I'm extremely proud of the way they've both handled their lives---both are extremely caring,responsible and loving Human Beings---and if I may say so----a real credit to the pair of us!!!