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Reflections!!!

Friday, July 02, 2010

Many people may not believe this and many who know me really and truly well may not agree----but deep inside me is a secret core that is separate from me. Like a Lotus Leaf I am in the Water but detached from it-----the World seems surreal and unconnected-----it's like I'm an outsider looking in through a window.This aspect of my personality helps me to clearly evaluate my mistakes and teaches me to learn from them---and how not to repeat them!!!
These are the times when I start taking stock of the years gone by------weighing each aspect of my Life in a detached manner and dispassionately winnowing the Grain from the Chaff.This particular aspect of my nature helps me to face up to and acknowledge my mistakes to myself honestly---without justification---and to accept them whole heartedly.That done I reflect on the best course to take to make amends and start on it immediately without wasting time.I have never denied my mistakes and don't make any attempts to shy away from them either----but I do like to turn over a new leaf and start afresh again.
I know that I am a very sensitive person but by sheer determination I've managed to overcome my sensitivity----I've today reached a point that the shell I've erected around myself does not allow any hurtfull ammunition through!!!This shell is my sheild for I've learnt that I cannot dissassociate myself from certain unpleasant situations---so it's best to learn how to distance myself from them!!!I have also through sheer determination taught myself not to brood over the painful experiences---I admit that most times I can't totally forgive those who hurt me---but I have definitely taught myself to move on and not dwell on these----I make conscious efforts to forget and am successful in this to a large extent!!!
I have grown as a person and while Life's experiences have matured me as a human being I have clung to my innocence and naivete----because I cannot accept that there is more bad than good in the World we live in.I am happy to live in my Utopia in the company of my wonderful Books and Music-----much though my dearly beloved Sudhir would want me to be more worldly wise!!!

  
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MESSENE 7/2/2010 3:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SAASHA17 7/2/2010 12:21PM

    I hear ya:)...sometimes u need to do that..create a wall from the hurt...but u know it still happens...I should really try to be less sensitive too

Nicely put..wish I cud right so well or express my thoughts in writing...

btw whats ur sunsign Komal?

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Books---Beautiful Books!!!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Reading the various opinions about Books I've decided to give them away to a small Library in the vicinity.I agree about most of children today not reading books any more------and when they do it's stuff like "Harry Potter"!!!
I grew up on a steady diet of Jane Austen,Charles Dickens,Robert Louis Stevenson,Daniel Defoe,Pearl S.Buck,Lin Yutang,Guy de Maupassant,Daphne du Maurier,Margaret Mitchell----to name a few.We were an innocent lot----early years were spent reading Enid Blyton and A.A. Milne----progressing to Mark Twain and Rudyard Kipling,G.A.Henty and finally coming of age with more serious stuff!!!Somerset Maugham and John Steinbeck followed-----and besides these there were the Indian writers too-----Rabindranath Tagore,R.K. Narayanan,Ruskin Bond and Kamala Markandeyain English, Munshi Premchand in Hindi and C.V.Joshi and P.L.Deshpande in Marathi----the language was simple but exquisite and the content par excellence!!!My vivid imagination conjured up the period and I lived the stories------reading through the cold Winter nights till the wee hours of the morning-----living,laughing,weeping and identifying totally with the characters!!!!!These bestowed on me a far greater expanse of Knowledge in it's purest form-----moulded, taught and educated me to become the person I am today.I acknowledge these Friends---my books---as being as real a part of my Life as my Parents and my environment----they broadened my horizon by opening up a magnificent vista of the World before my eyes.
Both my daughters and my grand daughter are avid Book readers------they too are thirsty for the Treasure trove of Knowledge and entertainment that books alone can give-----and they too like me read a wide variety of only English Literature.My favourite books include books in Hindi and Marathi---many of which I read and re-read innumerable times!!!I know a lot of my favourite books very well and parting with them will be a very hard and painful thing for me----many are the hours I've spent searching for these in the Book Shops---- on the pavements-----through the post-----each and every book and I share a deep bond of kinship!!!
However now they will have to go-----to a new home where they will be loved and cared for----and where they will spread their magic into young tender minds eager and thirsting for Knowledge!!!

  
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RAJASHREE108 7/2/2010 7:22AM

    I thought you were writing about me. I lugged my books all over US over last 25 years. Then the last move compelled me to give almost half of them away. Too expensive to move them. The remaining ones.. they are all sitting in my friend's basement and until I have a place of my own, they will be there. So now I have decided not to buy books anymore. Library has become a second home and I am experiencing aparigraha!.. a forced one of course!

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MESSENE 7/1/2010 6:49PM

    You have some emoticonbooks! Can I borrow some? emoticonMy favorite books were are from Rudyard Kipling, I still have some packed up in boxes of books. Maybe I can get some out for my daughter to read. Wow! You sure read some great books! emoticon

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DRASADAF 7/1/2010 2:34AM

    i too love to read ...i am a voracious reader...

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NICE125 6/30/2010 6:23PM

  I do so remember all those authors, tried so hard to get my daughters into Enid Blyton , Nancy Drew, the Hardy boys and the rest, but no.
You know, sometimes I feel, J.K. Rowling sorta kinda based Harry Porter on Enid Blytons school series. Where do you think this habit of over-eating started? All those descriptions of food in her books, with lemonade and ginger-ale, I never could finish a book without polishing off a loaf of bread with condensed milk or mint chutney and chidwa.
And the 8th-9th grades in Carmel had excerpts from all those novels by R. Tagore and Munshi Premchand in the English and Hindi texts.
I keep telling myself that its a cliche that 'those were the good old days', but with regards to the material I read, those really were the good old days!!
Thanks for the memories! emoticon

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SAKHAR74 6/30/2010 5:42PM

  Mom, I love you. Keep writing like this always.

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SHRUTI23 6/30/2010 12:41PM

  Oh you remind me of my books! When I was about to leave India, I almost thought of giving away my huge box of books to a friend's library! I was so sad even at the thought of it. Then my boyfriend suggests that I keep them so that we would someday get them all to "Our House"!! that was the sweetest things he could say to me..More than even a ring and a proposal.

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/30/2010 12:26PM

    Are you sure the books have to go? You sound very attached to them, maybe you should keep them if they were hard to find.... I know...not helping!!!!
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SAASHA17 6/30/2010 12:05PM

    Hey

Send them to me emoticon dont tell my mom though..she thinks I have enough already...

man when u described the books, I cud totally relate to you..God knows how i have survived the friendless years with the books...No one would belive that i was a loner but if someone was looking for me, they would go to the library or the scooter shed because i would always wind up in a cozy corner with my fav book..

i remember i was the only person jumping with joy when my library in school ordered the yellow bound famous fives...we were allowed 1 book a week, i got written permission from the principal to take two and then would beg my classmates to take books for me..they were more into other stuff...:D...

Man i want to go home and read it now...currently i am reading " the red tent" by anita diamant...someone on the book reading club 0n spark suggested it..

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BOVEY63 6/30/2010 11:56AM

    My grandmother worked in a library and both she and my mom read to my sister, bother and I often; and later to our children. We learned to love reading, and today my mom, sister and I will pass books between each other and our friends.
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A bit of This---a bit of That!!!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Two of my dear Friends---Ann and Zanna----put this into my mind----So I'm asking forgiveness for my Random Ramblings at the very start!!!!Both have dealt with Topics closely connected to me------one not so loved the other beloved so please bear with me Friends as I ramble on!!!!
I hate cleaning up the clutter I create-----but necessity forces me to clean up!!!I confess to being Impulsive,Acquisitive and a Hoarder-----I love Possessions----Books,Cassettes/CDs,Perfume
s,Tupper Ware,Clothes,Crockery,Utensils----you name it I collect it---- like a greedy Pig I MUST have many things I see!!!Not just this I cling to old things for Sentimental Value----just can't bring myself to part with it!!!Thanks to this my home is overflowing with Stuff-----threatening to push me out!!!!My two daughters are like me in being greedy and acquisitive but like Chalk and Cheese in the disposal of it---Lotta loves her Possessions and like me she too places great sentimental value on Stuff-----Sayali on the other hand doesn't think twice before getting rid of Stuff she feels she doesn't need------I'd left a beautiful hand knitted Cardigan at her home by mistake once-----next trip I couldn't see it!!!"That old thing?" she asked "I gave it to the Salvation Army!!!"I was livid---my mother had knit it specially for me and it was very warm and cosy AND not even well worn-----but she considered it to be Junk!!!Apart from sulking for a few days what else could I do?????
Another favourite addiction is Knitting----I must be having tons of Wool at home!!!We three sisters took up something each from our mother---I love Knitting ,Sewing and Embroidery,Mikki loves Tatting ,Embroidery and Knitting and Ritu's great at Knitting, Crochetting and Embroidery-----Mummy loved all these things and as soon as we became old enough to hold both Knitting and Sewing Needles we were taught all these skills.Today thanks to my Cancer Operation I can no longer sew----but am going to start Knitting again.My right arm used to pain a bit earlier due to the surgery but thanks to Yoga it is much better now------my brain will begin thinking again---Knitting relaxes me---the more complicated the design---the more interesting the challenge!!!
However today I deserve a BIG PAT on my back----I steeled my heart and cleaned out half a Trunk of my "Treasures"----mainly nappies etc. belonging to my Raavana---and am now going to wash these out for Vanita's granchild to use.In India a new born Babe is first dressed for the 1st.month in hand me downs of older children rather than new stuff for these are considered auspicious.
Tomorrow I tackle my Books-----beautiful Classics some of these bought in certain Shops but mostly on the pavement---yes Manasa-----at Flora Fountain in Fort!!!I may be gifting some of these away to those grandchildren of my friends who love to read---as many of these are not available readily in Book Shops anymore!!!Thus I'll again be opening up a new vista of imagination in the youngest generation------that thought is reward enough!!!

  
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ZANNACHAN 6/30/2010 1:08AM

    Two loves we share--knitting and books! (Just not knitting lace with lace-weight mohair--it needs up like a dream and is beautiful and so soft, but if you make a mistake it's really hard to take out because the mohair fibers lock together and the yarn is so fine it breaks easily).

I am constantly being accused of being a pack rat etc., which is kind of frustrating because there aren't many things in this apartment that we don't use or enjoy on a regular basis. I know, for example, that we would have so much more space if we didn't have books--I don't know how many books we have any more but I know it's a lot. But I very rarely keep books I don't care for--only if it's part of a larger series that I do like--and I reread books regularly. I read a lot but tend to get frustrated with libraries because I then *have* to read books on their time table, not mine. I read a lot and am a relatively fast reader, but I only read one novel at a time and I never know what I'm going to be in the mood for when I finish. Maybe I want to read that book I got from the library.... or maybe I will want to read a childhood favorite. I want the flexibility to read what I want to read when I want to read them. I also, as I said, like to reread books and have been burned a lot of times when I went back to the library to reread a book only to find they no longer have it. So I buy books. Thankfully, my husband and I have a lot overlap in reading tastes, as he reads even more/faster than I do.

Personally, I would keep any old books that I loved--especially if they are hard to replace. As Saasha17 says, your grandkids may not be interested. Only give away books that you don't mind if they get donated to a library or whatever--books you don't care if you won't see again.

I do give away books I don't want any more--usually to friends (last major book purge I gave away over 300 books. I emailed my friends the list and 90% of them were claimed within minutes of the email going out. It was like a feeding frenzy *grin*) I call it finding books a good home. But I only get rid of books I know I will never, ever reread--which means they weren't books I liked.

Enjoy knitting! I love knitting--but be warned that knitters tend to accumulate yarn (and yarn takes up a lot more space than beads. Maybe that's why I knit so many socks--yarn for socks takes up a lot less room than yarn for sweaters!) But it is very relaxing. A friend of mine has a sign above her yarn stash--"I knit so I don't kill people." I think I need a sign like that *grin*

Sorry that it took me so long to get caught up on your blogs--I love reading your blogs and I always look forward to the next one, so I didn't want to rush through them. But it took me awhile to get all caught back up and I didn't have the time to comment. But I enjoyed reading them!

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/29/2010 1:09PM

    SAASHA17 may be right about the books. Kids today are usually not interested in anything that's not what everyone else is doing, watching, reading, etc. I guess when we grew up, less was available to us, so I was excited to read the books on our shelves that Mama owned, classics taking place in an older time. I think because I was innocent and not exposed to much on tv or movies, I didn't even recognize that the real, adult world would not be slow paced and romantic like in the books! And that men would not sing me love songs like in the musicals... what a disappointment that one was! And I never have had the opportunity to wear a ball gown or cocktail dress or anything sequined like Barbi did, either! I'm glad I grew up when I did, but kids today live in a very different world, so I can't fault them. Your books may be better off in a used book store where someone who loved them as a child will find them and rejoice at finding an old friend.
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RAJASHREE108 6/29/2010 12:51PM

    I am the same way with my hoardings and my children don't see why I am attached to my stuff. I hear it from my friends too, so it must be a generation thing. I must have paid four times over the value of the things by carring them across the country.. I had six moves and finally I want to give away and keep only the minimum. I have not even started as I am still roaming and my stuff is in four different places! For you it is harder because you barely moved and that makes the stuff invisible to us.

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SAASHA17 6/29/2010 11:56AM

    No..u r not giving those books away:(....i hated giving my books away..i gave them to my cousins and told them to keep them for my kids and that i would pass them on to theirs...but my younger cousin at 12 felt she was doing a great thing, donated my books to the school library and kept the books she got for herself...:(..my whole collection of famous five, nancy drew, secret seven all now in soem corner of the library coz kids dont read them anymore..they prefer other books like harry potter...etc etc....

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Cleaning Up!!!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Looking after a home is a constant job-----just turn away for a short while and a load of Junk piles up!!!We'd just cleaned out everything thoroughly in the last week of April--then Sudhir's Vacation started and by the time it ended Vanita's daughter fell sick!!!!In the meantime,loads of Junk("Kachraa") just kept on piling up----add to that the vagaries of the Monsoon bent on playing hide-n-seek with us----an absolutely unenviable situation for me!!!
This Monday I've decided to implement my routine again---so began with the cleaning of my bedroom first---the maximum used room in the house.Every nook and cranny got a thorough cleaning---will shine and sparkle till this evening---by tomorrow will become dusty again!!!Poor Vanita wipes each surface clean every morning--by afternoon a fine film of Dust descends again--thanks to the Construction going on in our vicinity.Not to forget the terrible din---just yesterday we women were laughing about it--general consensus was that we'd miss the noise after the construction was over------it's just beginning and it will take a minimum of another 4-5 years for the Building next door to be completed!!!!
Tomorrow is the turn for the Kids' Bedroom-----most of it is my Tupper Ware stored in two trunks-----brand new!!!I've carried loads and loads of it to my daughters----now I'm going to give it all away as Gifts and Presents on various occasions----people love such useful items--besides it's already there in the house--saves time shopping---besides Sudhir buys it from me at full price----so it's a lucrative business for me ---haan?I have plenty of left overs of the exclusive stuff------so it's either this or I'll need to make a "Tupper Ware Will" so that there will be a smooth distribution of my "Treasure" after I'm gone!!!
Then I'll have to clean out my Book shelves and my Cassette Collection----what possessed me to go on collecting both these things????I could so easily have joined a Library---but no----I love to acquire and own things---- being a greedy and acquisitive fat little Sow ------willing to waddle all over Mumbai for a particular item!!!!
Today I'm paying the price for my excesses-----thanks to my love for living Life King Size-----my Health has suffered and there are so many other Treasures in the form of Books,Cassettes and Tupper Ware----I can't bear to let go and it's getting harder to maintain!!!Ah---Well----"Que Sara Sara what will be will be!!!"

  
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SONPARI1 6/29/2010 1:39AM

    I have a stock of tupperware too, love them and i just dont feel like giving it away, like u said maybe i could give this to my daughter when she leaves the house 15 yrs later emoticon

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ATMANI 6/28/2010 10:36PM

    emoticon

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RAGGARWALAX 6/28/2010 7:42PM

    I say that there always has to be one in every couple - one that wants to keep everything and one wants to get rid of everything. I can be pretty ruthless when I go on a cleaning spree and little will escape my scrutiny. But if I ever do cleaning with my DH, then forget it, I might as well not bother cleaning because he never wants to throw anything out. Now I try to clean things when he is busy doing something else LOL

No matter, cleaning always seems to be a losing battle emoticon

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MESSENE 6/28/2010 4:42PM

    emoticonLove Tupper Ware! I'm sure someone will enjoy them emoticonI'm cleaning out my closet, and there's lots of cloths I never used. I'm afraid there won't be anything left when I'm done. emoticonEverything seems to have got larger! Hope the construction noise settles soon. Have a wonderful evening! emoticon emoticon

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BOVEY63 6/28/2010 1:21PM

    A Tupperware Will emoticon

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/28/2010 12:32PM

    Sometimes when I need to get rid of stuff, I do role playing and pretend to be my daughter. When she gets something into her head, she is ruthless and starts barreling at it like a woman possessed and no obstacle stands a chance! She denies it, but I am certain that some of my dishes and silverware that disappeared over the years were just tossed into trash bags in some of her room redo rampages! So, when I find myself mulling over each book or item of clothing I haven't touched in a decade, thinking I may want it one day, I pretend to be Laura and just rapidly toss it in the reject pile and tell myself that if I want it later, I'll deal with that when the time comes. It works! For the most part, I think she is far too impulsive, but in this instance, I think I can use a dose of it!

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SAASHA17 6/28/2010 12:00PM

    oh did u buy ur books at Flora fountain?

I remember everytime my dad got off the ship, he had to report to the head office at nariman point and he would go to Flora fountain and bring me the whole sets of famous five, nancy drew, etc...

Finally when I was in the 7th grade, I got to go there, and ended up buying full sets of sydney sheldon, ken follet...oh i love to bargain with those guys...hehehe...I miss that..Even here, even though i like going to the library, i have my own collection...I live in a 1bedroom and had a tough time setting my books around...I had them all in my bedroom around my bed...hehehe my dad finally set it up in the living room but i feel so lost..once they leave, i know i am gonna make a mess of them and move all of them into my room...i can be clean everywhere else but books naa...i love the mess...

Manasa

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DRASADAF 6/28/2010 11:44AM

    you must have bought tupperware wen they had just come in business...LOL on the WILL part ...u r humorous....as for that construction dust n noise..my mumy too had experienced the same once...good lord it got over...

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TIGGERRD 6/28/2010 5:07AM

    Letting go can bring more peace into your home. Best wishes with your decluttering efforts.

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Busy as a Bee!!!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Last week was a test----of Patience,Endurance and Stamina----if Truth be told---Sudhir got the short end of the stick on the first but I passed reasonably well on the other two-----at least in A Grade!!!
The whole week was a whirlwind sort of thing-----things just kept hitting the target one after the other without much breathing space in between----but though this tired me out,it also re-instated my faith in myself and my capacity to cope up----there's still some spark left inside!!!!
Vanita's daughter Poonam,who is 7 months pregnant, fell sick with suspected Malaria and was hospitalised for 5 days.Thankfully it turned out to be a Fever and nothing more but we were all worried.Not just that,our complex got the Termite Contract renewed---so each home had to be treated extensively to keep it Termite free-----so it meant getting the Furniture moved and getting the Flat treated---the whole operation took a total of 5 hours and was split up over 2 consecutive days------laborious and time consuming!!!
All through this poor Vanita was running around between the Hospital and 3 Flats---ours,Kishoriben's and Priti's-----of which the longest period of work was at our place----'coz we're on the 1st.(U.S.A2nd.) floor so required special care!!!As a result extensive cleaning up process was required in all the 3 homes.The only good news was that Poonam's reports were clear-----and they discharged her once the Fever abated and remained at normal temprature for 2 days.
On Friday we had the biggest event for a Marathi married woman---"Vat Pournima" or Banyan Tree Full Moon!!!!Legend has it that on this day the Lord of Death Yama had ensnared Satyavan's soul in his noose.Satyavan's wife Savitri followed a frustrated Yama who walked on granting her some boons at regular intervals to dissuade her from following him.Finally at the gates of the Netherworld, Yama granted her a last boon.She seized the opportunity and asked for a 100 children and unthinkingly Yama granted it.As he turned to go she asked him to release her husband----for how could she bear the children without Satyavan's help????Thus Savitri outwitted Death and earned for herself the title of "Sati" or one who is the epitome of a pious and devoted wife-----preceding her husband into the Netherworld.On this day the Banyan Tree,under which Satyavan regained his life,is worshipped all over Maharashtra and a handspun Thread is wound round the thick tree trunk.This Thread is a symbol of a long life for the husband of the woman offering the prayers.Besides wild Fruits of the Forest like Mangoes,Pineapples,Jackfruit,Bananas and "Jaambhul/Jamun" are offered to the Gods and 5/7/9/11 married women as well.A 24 hour fast is observed during which only Milk and Fruit is eaten---ending the next day after a bath and the regular religious ceremonies.Since falling sick I only fast for this Vat Pournima,Hartalika and Shiva Ratri----my health has forced me to forget the lesser fasts!!!Of all Vat Pournima is what I love the most-----this makes my bond with Sudhir stronger and deeper---bestowing it a piety which lifts it to the level of prayer---a vow renewed yearly!!!
Then yesterday 12 of us---me and my Friends went out to Lunch to a wonderful Dosai Place to celebrate the birthday of one of us----a new entrant Fatima's 60th.birthday.This place serves 32 varieties of Dosais and Calorie counting for the day went for a toss-----without an iota of Guilt!!!I believe in cheating without guilt and enjoying my Food-----and that was such a YUMMMMMMMY end to my week!!!

  
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DRASADAF 6/27/2010 10:10AM

    hi,good i come to know what's happening in my place through ur blogs...amazing naa..i have seen all of these since i opened my eyes in this world..and i simply bond with it...so good to read it on spark thru you...i have been to Dosai too ..way back in india....i have lived in mumbai my hometown and pune my junior college and medical college....good you are having termite treatment for ur house ,hectic but worth the efforts...enjoy and keep encouraging me...love u lots...

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BOVEY63 6/27/2010 10:03AM

    So glad all is well with Poonam and her baby.
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A little overindulgence is okay once in a while. Great that you had such a good time.
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RAJASHREE108 6/27/2010 9:48AM

    Fasting and feasting.. all in one week.

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