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Nostalgic Moments

Friday, June 11, 2010

There are many small incidents which stay with one----actually too small to be remembered at times---but still become beautiful cameos in the treasure trove of beloved memories.
These moments are very minute---a line from a certain song---a quote from a certain book---a scent pervading the Air---can set off a trail of moments and recreate the magic of Nostalgia!!!This morning the drumming of the Rain woke me up------it was falling thick and fast but with a stealthy hush------I went to our balcony and took a deep breath-----a myriad memories like colourful Butterflies just opened their wings in my mind---and these beautiful creatures revived those tiny moments for me---again!!!
I felt the cool caress of the Breeze during the first Showers of my childhood on my face-----fleeting but familiar----the sprinkling touch of the sprays from the thundering Showers of yester years on my body-----the warm wet scent of the Earth soaking in the first Showers thirstily in our first Monsoon here-----all this swept back in a flash carrying me away on a wave of Nostalgia------all mixed up with a poignant mix of emotions----- longing,joy,satisfaction and a sense of Deja Vu------the scene will be repeated as long as I live through the coming years----deeply familiar but yet---new!!!

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MESSENE 6/11/2010 4:56PM

    emoticonSo emoticonreminds me of when I was 5 years old playing outside hide-n-seek in Mexico, all us kids would be soaked, muddy, and wet, but kept playing.
I don't see much of that around here. Those days were so much fun, and less dangerous for us kids.
Have a wonderful weekend! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/11/2010 4:56:42 PM

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SAASHA17 6/11/2010 11:54AM

    wah wah Kavi:P....love ur blogs..wish i cud write like that..lol...

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/11/2010 11:10AM

    I think smells are the strongest memory storers of all my senses. When I smell that wet earth smell, I flash back to the very moment, as a very young child, I first connected that rain created it's own unique smell, a revelation to me, and I wasn't sure whether anyone else had noticed, since I'd never heard anyone remark on the smell of the rain the way they did the smell of the food cooking or flowers or skunks!

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RATIONAL_EATER 6/11/2010 3:53AM

    You did it again.. emoticon post!!

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Being my own Best Friend

Thursday, June 10, 2010

This Healthy Reflections mail has had me thinking since yesterday-----I think it is a pretty obvious that to be your own best friend you have to be 100% honest with yourself--------you have to first acknowledge what you ACTUALLY are to yourself before making the changes needed to mould yourself into what you aspire to be.While like minded Friends do help, the biggest change is in making fundamental changes and these begin only after one accepts all the mistakes made honestly to one's own conscience.By showing your true face in the Mirror of Self-Realisation can you begin the process of correcting things you can and not repeating the past mistakes----consciously to find peace in your life.
Have I done it? Yes I have-------I have taken the initial step of analyzing my mistakes,then accepting these to myself and further by trying to make amends by trying to come to terms with my faults.I don't claim to be a Saint----nor do I say that I'm successful in wiping away the past-----suffice to say that today I KNOW myself---my strengths and my weaknesses----and also am aware of my limitations------which decides my path for the Future.The Journey continues----whether it is successfull or not only Time will tell!!!

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    Stay the course - you will be successful.

Great blog!

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MESSENE 6/10/2010 4:58PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/10/2010 1:54PM

    I wish more time in school was spent teaching children to know themselves and less trying to mold them all into the same shape. But maybe knowing yourself can only come with age.

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BOVEY63 6/10/2010 12:55PM

    Amen. You are so right.

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SAASHA17 6/10/2010 12:07PM

    Yeah i hear ya...i have just done something and realised i have to change myself not wait for someone to do it for me and hopefully i do it...

take care

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My Girls-----Sisters together!!!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

My own brush with Sibling Rivalry and Jealousy prepared me to combat this when my second daughter Sayali was born 3 years and3 months after Lotta.
Lotta was a very sensitive child----extremely prickly and the brooding type----which made both Sudhir and me try harder to see that she adjusted well to the new addition in our home.
We were then living in a joint family in the South Bombay home and though all the children were never singled out for pampering----it was always all of them together-- it still made a difference that the baby'd be sharing her parents.Here help came from totally unexpected quarters----my "other" two children----Shilpa and Babu---Milind and Nina's children.Shilpa was 8 years old and considered herself to be very much the older sister----firmly putting both Babu and Lotta in their places when required-----she firmly took Sayali under her wing----changing diapers,keeping her amused----almost everything except lifting the baby up----- she kept an eye on Sayali after School----- she was very responsible and a great help!!!Sudhir concentrated wholly and solely on Lotta---playing with Sayali only when Lotta commanded it----otherwise ignoring her.The three children would hover around the baby all the time----Babu and Lotta squabbling about who'd sit next to Sayali-----Shilpa bossing around and shooing them away----being very protective and caring of the Baby.
After we shifted here Lotta would leave early morning with Sudhir and they'd travel together to the old house---she still attended School there.Both of them would drive back at night---Lotta spending the day there------and so by the time she shifted to School here Sayali was already more than a year old and both had adjusted to each other and to us four being a family.Both my daughters are closer to their father---I took over the job of being the disciplinarian and task master----so I was the one to mete out the spankings and the punishments-----their father left early and came home late six days a week---- hence I wanted them to spend quality time with him----I missed the early years with my father when he was working all hours on the Site---I didn't want my children to miss anything while growing up!!!
They grew up very close to each other---in fact people would ask me if they were twins---their bond was so strong!!!They'd drive me mad with their inane private jokes---their incessant giggling together over the stupidest things----their midnight feasts when they messed up my kitchen and left piles of pots and pans in the sink-----their singing at the top of their voices trying to drown each other out---and ganging up together in their arguments with their father----a million things that they shared and still share.They both are unpredictable and volatile---so they go for each other's jugular when furious with each other lots of times-----but their love for each other,their bond and their telepathy is very strong----they can communicate with each other without words!!!
Both are total opposites in some things----Lotta has lots of friends----she's very friendly and outgoing---- but no "Special" ones---Sayali on the other hand drove me mad by inviting her entire gang over for dayspends often!!!Both sing beautifully----both are extremely intelligent,knowledgeable and well read---but while Lotta is shy and sensitive---Sayali is confident and poised.Both hit back in a flash if hurt or ridiculed and therefore are well equipped to take on their detractors singly or jointly!!Both are very protective of each other and even today need to talk to each other atleast once a day----a bit expensive now seeing that Sayali's in UK and Lotta in USA------but they manage!!!Today their bond has stretched out and enveloped my grand-daughter within it's magical circle------and this threesome is very,very special to both Sudhir and me!!!!

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SONPARI1 6/9/2010 12:51AM

    Loved reading about your kids. My kids fight all the time and half my energy goes out trying to solve their pbms. My son, though younger is the first one to become protective wn he senses that his sis in in trouble.

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ANU_20 6/9/2010 12:50AM

    Thank you! That was a beautiful blog again! :)...n brings back so many wonderful memories!

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RAIN454 6/9/2010 12:36AM

    my sisters and I are very much the same way :)
the "midnight feasts" bring up GREAT memories of different concoctions we could come up with at 2 in the morning...usually involved chocolate :) Chocolate over popcorn, chocolate over cereal, chocolate over biscuits, chocolate over pickles...lol, yes, pickles!! :)
THanks for the blog!!

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*MADHU* 6/8/2010 11:48AM

    This blog reminds of me of my relationship with my sister. It's just us two siblings and we are have a 3-year age difference between us with I being the elder one.

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SAASHA17 6/8/2010 11:43AM

    thats a nice read....Like the way u write about ur daughters....


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Changing my Attitude!!!

Monday, June 07, 2010

My mother suffered from complicated preganancies,needing total bedrest and care for the entire duration of nine months.She conceived again soon after her Appendix operation and decided to go ahead with the preganancy despite medical warnings and physical problems.My Aazoba(maternal Grandpa) came down from Mumbai to chaperone both Mummy and me to Bombay---Daddy was too busy to do so and Mummy needed specialised care----impossible in Chandigarh due to it's limited resources at the time.
Daddy took special leave from the School for me and also collected the Syllabus for the period of School I'd be missing---Amma went back to her village for the period on half pay-----I threw a huge tantrum after hearing her plans for becoming a replacement Nanny for her Aunt's charges----the Aunt was sick and therefore they needed a temporary replacement for her till she recovered.Thus she had no recourse left---other than that!!!
Coming to Bombay was a treat----Aazoba was my best friend plus Atya and Gopalkaka, my father's older sister and brother too lived in Bombay---so I was looking forward to being pampered----there was an army of Aunts,Uncles and cousins all older than me---- just waiting to spoil me silly!!!It was turning into a fabulous holiday for me---every wish being uttered was granted immediately and my gift for my fourth Birthday was a dinky little Red Car----I made a nuisance of myself by riding it in the Living Room and purposely banging into anybody around-----I was totally bratty AND insufferable!!!The days were passing in a dreamlike state for me-----I was literally ruling the roost------ but not for long-----my World wobbled and shook and it's Axis altered permanently to a changed angle on the 15th.November 1957.
Finally my sister Mikki(Mekhala) was born after the requisite period and as expected there were plenty of complications----the worst being the fact that she was a blue baby.There was a perceptible shift in the attention----Mikki needed special care---so Aaji and my Aunts became caught up in concentrating on the new baby-----since I was older and as healthy as a horse---it was taken for granted that I didn't need that much looking after any more!!!This was the first blow to my secure coccoon-----my magic environment being invaded by a foreign body-----and it made me much worse----I began throwing tantrums in every small thing----kicking and spitting fire like a little Dragon-----only Aazoba could control me!!!
My jealousy of Mikki became larger than me---I couldn't understand why this mewling little human scrap who cried all the time was important to any one at all----as against the magnificent ME!!!Things became worse after we came back home-----Amma too joined the ranks of the Deserters----and I started pestering Amma to get rid of Mikki----by returning her to the Hospital she was brought from!!!I just didn't need her nor want her around at all!!!After an unusually harrowing Tantrum from me Amma finally sat me down and said "Okay----Mikki will go back---but then someone else will take her home and she'll become their little sister-----will that REALLY make you happy?"
That one question brought me up sharply-----things wouldn't be the same without Mikki----her sweet smile was so rare that when it broke the World literally LIT up-----she belonged to us and this was where she was staying---and I accepted my sister's presence in our home with bad grace but from the heart.It was further impressed upon me that I was to be her role model---since I was older than her she'd definitely look up to me to learn the "correct" behaviour and manners-----and the Volcano inside me gradually subsided----I took on the responsibility of being the older sister!!!Ritu's birth followed three years later----by which time jealousy had totally subsided---hence she was truly welcomed with open arms by me and with reservations by Mikki----the shoe was now on the other foot!!!Today I still preach to both of them before realising that they've grown up too----- we're always there for each other----but respect each other's space----practicing the policy of "Live and let live" in it's totality!!!!

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/7/2010 11:32AM

    My favorite line in this blog: "the magnificent ME". LOL! I was the second child, thus the usurper to my sister's throne! I only remember being delighted by my little brother's arrival, maybe because by my nature I never did steal my sister's thunder, so had no place of honor to risk losing (that sounds like they didn't like me in my family!!! They did, and treated me just fine, lest I give the wrong impression!) I loved dolls and playing at being a mama, so a live baby was probably like hitting the jackpot for me! Plus, I was always off in my head pretending, and I remember my favorite stories were about orphans being finally adopted and lavished with love, so I probably lived out your early experience many times in my boundless imagination... the fantasies always involved being fed sweets, so the roots of my weight problems began early!

Comment edited on: 6/7/2010 11:34:15 AM

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MILLISMA 6/7/2010 9:24AM

    Being an only child, I never experienced the joy or jealousy of having a sibling. When my two children were arguing one day and I intervened, my daughter looked at me crying and said "you don't understand, you never had someone to fight with". She was right - it was a real learning experience for me.

Mary Anne emoticon

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JABCLUB 6/7/2010 5:42AM

    During my 2nd pregnancy I tried to prepare my daughter that there would be a new baby in the house. I was lucky -- my 2nd child was born with a club foot and required serial casting from the day he was born as well as a few surgeries over the next 2 years to correct it, but his older sister immediately was protective of him and accepted him. Now, he walks just fine and most people don't know he ever had anything wrong, and I'm pleased to say that my kids, who will soon be 18 and 20 years old, count each other as a best friend. emoticon

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DRASADAF 6/7/2010 4:37AM

    me too i felt the same kind off.I was also the eldest and was the only daughter of my parents for 5 yrs and wen my sister was born i felt jealous...but i learnt o love her.I think if parents give a chance to the elder kid he or she may make a come back to normalcy...dont you think.My son i pamper him so much but i wonder wat will happen to him if i bring another baby home if ever...funny isnt it..

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Early Escapades!!!

Sunday, June 06, 2010

The city of Chandigarh and I grew up together------and a better or more enjoyable childhood will certainly be hard to find!!!Those days children were to be seen----not heard----or so we were continually reminded both at home and in School----unfortunately I was too loud at both places------and hence suffered for it in plenty!!!The golden rule those days was"Spare the rod and spoil the Child" and to honestly admit getting a fair share of the rod most of the time would be the truth!!!
I was a very hotheaded and stubborn child---my mother and I never saw eye to eye in any situation----and so to combat my wilfulness it was decided to send me to the Sector 16 Nursery School newly built nearby.Now I looked like butter wouldn't melt in my mouth---but that was not what I was!!!I was the youngest in that School----a year and half old then---- but was the leader in all the mischief-------all those older kids were my lambs and I was Mary leading them into various escapades!!!Despite my escapades I was very popular with everyone---and terribly spoilt---my parents were known as "Komal's Parents" in our small community!!!Instead of making me more amenable School made me worse--thanks to all the pampering I got everywhere.In desperation a year later my mother appointed a Tutor to come and teach a few other children and me Reading and Writing in Hindi----we addressed him as "Masterji".Now this Masterji belonged to the old school of thought----he was very dilligent in using his cane and at pulling the ears of the children he thought needed to be brought to heel----ofcourse I was at the top of the list!!!
Those days we learnt our Alphabet on wooden rectangular slates called"Takhtaas"----these Slates would be rubbed over daily evening with a thick layer chalky type of Mud and dried out in the Sun.We used Pens fashioned out of Cane called"Kalams" as pencils.These were dipped in pots of Dried Ink Powder called"Dawaat"with appropiate amount of Water added to make it solvent enough to write with.Everyday we studied the Alphabets and wrote them out on these Slates------till we began forming these in recognisable fashion.Needless to say all of us got a taste of the Ear pulling and Cane in different measures during the two hour daily sessions.
I would crib to Amma about this and also to Mummy but both felt that it was the privilege of the Tutor to discipline us in any way he saw fit----so didn't interfere at all---in fact actually turned a blind eye to our plight!!After six months of this torture I'd had enough---and I decided to teach Masterji a lesson---in my own way.When he next grabbed hold of my ear to yank it---I turned around and bit him hard-----he yelped in pain and let my ear go----- in a trice I'd picked up my Kolhapuri Chappal(Slipper) and started beating him on his back and head with it -----with all my strength!!!Then for the following half hour there was total pandemonium-------Masterji running for his life with his Dhoti held up above his knees---me behind him with my chappal held high in my hand---and Amma and Mummy chasing me---trying to catch hold of me!!!Finally both the women managed to catch me firmly---- and pin me down despite all the wriggling, kicking and scratching----to give me a sound spanking----Mummy spanked while Amma pinned mr down all the while remonstrating with me"Kya kiya Bawaa---Master toh Bhagwaan hotaa hai--gandi baat!!!"Translated it means that a Teacher is like God---how could you do this----such a very bad thing to do!!!.No amount of remonstration had any effect on me---nor did the spanking---I turned round and told the hapless and trembling fellow"aap phirsey aao---dekho main karti hoon"-----meaning you just come back again and see what I do to you!!!
The Tutor told my mother that she had a monster for a daughter who'd never come to any good ever and that he'd never seen a demon such as me in all the 25 years he'd been teaching!!!This was adding insult to injury as far as I was concerned----and I tried to lunge at him again----the man literally fled our house without a backward glance!!!The repercussions were mostly bad-----but I learnt early in Life to stand up for what I thought was right.Today I don't exactly regret it but would have preferred a different method---at the age of two and a half one doesn't think----one just reacts spontaneously!!!
My parents were in despair over me when my mother suffered an attack of Appendicitis----she had to be operated immediately.The General Hospital in Sector 16 had just been finished and she was operated on there-----she was pretty sick for awhile.My father was terribly shaken and upset---it left a deep impression on me---I tried to ease his pain by telling the two of them not to worry---I'd look after Daddy if Mummy died!!That was the first time Daddy spanked me-----I couldn't sit down for a week--I was that sore!!!
Around this time a new School opened in Chandigarh---Carmel Convent and I was enrolled there among the first 100 students on it's rolls----this Alma Mater of mine changed my Life and my outlook---but that's another story!!!

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RATIONAL_EATER 6/10/2010 5:14PM

    Funny you mentioned Taktaas and Kalam.Brought back many memories.thank you for this amazing blog. emoticon

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EACHDAYAGIFT 6/6/2010 1:40PM

    Very naughty, Komal!!!! I'm glad you were not in my group when I taught preschool! But what I wouldn't give to see that wild half hour caught on film! Ha! I wish I had had the nerve to strike back at my violent nun who was my first grade teacher and not at all cut out for it! Spare the rod and spoil the bad teacher...we could have ganged up on them, except that I would be terrified I would be sent to hell in those days! Did you ever see the movie "Dances With Wolves"? There was a girl the American Indian tribe who had adopted her named "Stands With a Fist". That would be a good name for little Komal, I think!

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MESSENE 6/6/2010 12:43PM

    emoticonWow! What a story! emoticon emoticon
Have a wonderful day! emoticon emoticon

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