Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Even as I type that title, my inner two year old (you know, the one who likes to have hissy fits about wanting it now!) is screaming "What? You want me to starve? What are you thinking?" (Heavy sigh)
It's not been a good week for me so far, and it's only Wednesday. I sabatoged myself over the weekend and I've been spending everyday since trying to make up for it. I am in a FSC challenge and I don't want to let my team down.......makes me sick to think about it.
Why did I do it? I don't know......that is like the million dollar question. I guess in the back of my mind I thought, one day isn't going to hurt me....it's one meal.....I'll make up for it tomorrow. Well, tomorrow never came over the weekend and I went out to eat 5 times! I KNOW better than that. Well needless to say, I gained 4 lbs. from that indulgence.
I've been doing a lot of reading lately, trying to get a handle on why I eat what I do and how to change those behaviors. The common theme is that you really need to retrain your body and mind to think and act like a thin person. I've been practicing some techniques that have been challenging and frustrating at the same time. Techniques like delaying meals, having smaller meals...denying myself snacks. You should try it sometime. It's an interesting experiment.
It's hard to tell your body and mind, that it's okay to be hungry......you don't have to act on it. It's NOT an emergency. There are times that I feel like (very overboard I realize; but my mind is mine) I'm gonna die if I don't eat something or at the very least I'll pass out from being so weak! (That will show me!!!!) And low and behold it passes and turns out; I'm just fine. Yes, that's right......I'm fine.....in no danger of dying from starvation or passing out from weakness.
Yes, it's okay to be hungry....it's kind of like a right of passage. This IS the door I have to go through to achieve my goals and be the thin, healthy person I miss. It's working, I've lost two of those nasty pounds and I am positive I will lose the rest plus more.
But.....I'm still hungry.............
Monday, September 14, 2009
18. Blog about your biggest food problem & what steps you are doing this week to overcome it. (3 pts)
I think the biggest food problem I have is snacking. Especially if no one is home...... Nobody watching.........I'll just have one.........No one will know......No big deal. BIG DEAL. Big problem...
I am determined to write everything down this week and be accountable. I am scheduling everything so it shouldn't leave anytime for excess snacking. Also, busy hands don't have time to snack, I am keeping my schedule fairly full. We will see how that goes.
Friday, September 11, 2009
I realized back in 1999, that I was a technology junkie! I have a computer, a laptop, an I-pod, an old xbox, and a wii; all equally entertaining. Earlier this year, I decided I didn't need so many books laying around the house and invested in a Kindle, which is an awesome thing to travel with.
Today, I have to admit that I have given up a lot in becoming so fascinated with technology. I used to crochet. I still have an afghan that is 3/4 complete. I love to stamp. I used to make cards a lot. I'm also a movie buff, but lately I listen to more movies than I actually watch.
I am not so blind to think that my situation is unique, but it really makes me wonder. If this generation is the technology generation, what hope is there for the future? We want everything easier and faster.
What things are becoming extinct because of the rise in technology? Will we be sorry some day that the old ways are gone and did the ones before us feel the same? It's no wonder we are becoming a society of couch potatoes! No wonder I'm overweight.
Microsoft realized the problem with this and developed the wii--I guess its okay to sit in front a TV all day as long as your holding controls and moving. Hmmm.....
As I start to develop my plans for scheduling my life, I have determined that I want to limit my time with technology and get back to some basics. I want to plan time to take up my old hobbies again, to play board and card games with my family and hey, let's get crazy and make a card of two. Now don't go thinking that I'm gonna go all crazy on this and that you won't get to read my silly rants any more.
I won't give up my technology, I enjoy it too much. But I can have the courage to put it where it belongs and focus on what's important......my family.....my health.......and my creativity.
And I thought scheduling my life was going to be sooooooo easy!
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Life has been such a hodge podge of circumstances lately. My youngest left the nest to live on his own and he is having a tough time of it. He moved into an apartment with his best friend and the best friends girlfriend. It's not going too well. There has been a lot of selfishness and imaturity going on. My heart goes out to him, not a great first experience living on his own. He is definitely learning from it. It is hard being the parent and not be able to swoop in and make it all better.
My step son is going through a divorce. That threw us for a loop. We didn't see it coming and it have been very hard on my husband. My hubby has been divorced twice and we are concerned that our son is making too light of marriage. They have been married 8 years and have a two year old. The divorce has been very amicable but I know his ex is having a hard time.
They are sharing custody but I can already see that the back and forth has been hard for their daughter. It is tough. There is also a new girlfriend (happened after the separation). My husband is having trouble accepting her, but I really like her. I understand my son's reasons for the divorce, even if personally I'm not an advocate of divorce, and I really care for his ex.
In addition to that my husband has been depressed and very negative for the past year. It has been very frustrating to be around some one who is negative all the time. We had a long talk about it this weekend. We usually like to take road trips. We have a great time talking and sharing. But in the last year, I have started taking my IPod and reading when we go places, because I get tired of being the sunshine on a cloudy day.
So we had a long talk and I agreed to limit the IPod and reading if he will try and can the negativity. I don't know how he can keep up the negative.....it's exhausting. We ended up having a great day. We were able to discuss everything without anger. I'm so glad as we were starting to drift apart a little; each doing our own thing. And we have never been that way. We have always been able to make each other laugh and have a good time.
So now, I'm trying to schedule my life more. I think living by schedule might be just what I need to ensure a good fitness routine. I also informed the hubby that he is going to have to learn to use the wii! He's a little old school and 11 years older than me. I think he'll like it as long as no one else knows about it!!! So this is my goal today. Organize and schedule-----eliminate some chaos! Is that possible? I guess we will see!
Lose weight today, ok?
P.S. Just to clarify--DH and I are okay, never in any danger. Just a little bump.
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