KO1215   39,143
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Ponderings...

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

My DH loves to look at Craigslist. He is always looking for a bargain. I find the whole thing a little dull. I would rather look at Amazon or something like that. I have been considering getting an exercise bike for awhile now. The problems with my legs are stopping me from walking too much and I can’t accomplish my goals like this.
So I asked the expert (DH) to hunt for on one on Craigslist. I didn’t want to pay new price for sure and I didn’t want to spend more than $100. No, it doesn’t have to be the best bike on the planet. He didn’t have much luck. I think he found one for $400 and I’m just not willing to pay that.
I checked my email yesterday and Amazon sent me an email about bikes that they had. I saw one on sale for 99.99. Works for me! So I ordered it and it is on its way. I can hardly wait.


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I have taken the time to read some good blogs lately. One in particular really struck a chord with me. ID_Vandal asked this question-“….do you ever wonder why people (myself included) are sometimes afraid to succeed?”What a good question? So I thought about it awhile and I remembered another sparker(whom I greatly admire!) VICUNJA, talked about a switch that “flipped” for her that helped her do what she needed to do.
I don’t think I will forget these two statements for some time. What is it that keeps some of us from achieving our goal? What makes the “switch flip” for others?
I’ve spent some time thinking about this…..I was quite skinny growing up. It wasn’t until college ….imagine that….that I started to gain the weight. And then I married and had my son….that’s when it got out of control. Seems like a pretty common story…yet I know a lot of my problem stems from emotional/stress eating. So I start to think about what skill I must have lost or what outlet I’m no longer using.
I’m still pondering this question, but I wanted to throw it out to the universe to see what you think about it. I’m going to do some soul searching and try to answer this. I will share my random brainstorming with you and I will try to come back to this in a couple of days.
• Afraid I will never have this item again…enjoy as much now.
• Missing a more intimate connection with someone-maybe I don’t share enough with DH..we were raised different and I am more touchy feely…if that makes any sense.
• Not making exercise a priority.
• Not knowing what to do with my stress.
• Boredom…hmmm…I am surprising myself with this one.
• Not content with my life?
• Fear of the unknown…
• Too damn lazy?….
Food for thought….I’m not sure there are any answers in here…but I’m going to ponder on it awhile and we will see what comes out! I will check in with you again, real soon.

Hugs,

Keri

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYDUCK2 5/4/2012 3:34AM

    I don't know what happens with me. I have gotten down under 200 pounds now three times and each time it is like a panic attack. I start to feel uncomfortable with ...everything . And then eat my way back up.

This will sound so stupid but I FEEL fat when I am under 200 and don't feel fat at 225. How is that for brain dead? SIGH

I just keep trying and each time as I get close again, try to understand where this fear and stinking thinking is coming from.

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MSLZZY 5/2/2012 6:55AM

    Part of the mental process is identifying your triggers
and knowing what sets you off. The soul-searching is
normal and only you have the answers. We all have
reasons for why we are where we are. Just make
sure your reasons aren't excuses.
Congrats on the new bike. I am sure you will put
it to good use. HUGS!

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POSITIVELY_EB 5/1/2012 11:43PM

    I agree whole-heartedly with you! I have been pondering the same thing lately. Right now, my spirit is willing but my flesh is not working well enough to do much! LOL! Why is it when my flesh is able, my spirit lacks the initiative and drive to do it??? More pondering is needed!

Thanks for the blog!

HUGS! Beverly

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HEYITSLISA 5/1/2012 3:41PM

    Years ago I was taking part in an online symposium on weight loss. The psychologist leading it said "If you really wanted to lose weight, you would. The reason people don't is because they don't want to." I was aghast when I heard that! Why on earth would I NOT want to lose weight??!! But that statement got me thinking, and sure enough there were reasons why it was just easier for me to stay fat.

Good for you for doing some soul searching! It's a deep and dark crevasse, but ton's of knowledge is stored there!

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A stronger Woman in me....

Friday, April 06, 2012

I heard this song by Jewel this morning and it sounded like something I would want as a mantra! Thought I would share. I think a lot of us could use this:


I'm going to love myself
More than anyone else
Believe in me even if someone cannot see
There's a stronger woman in me
I'm going to be my own best friend
Stay with me till the end
Won't lose myself again, never, no
'Cause there's a stronger woman
A stronger woman
There's a stronger woman,
A stronger woman in me,
Yeah...



Hugs,

Keri



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ID_VANDAL 4/12/2012 8:41AM

    You're right - there is a stronger person in all of us if we just love and trust ourselves enough to let that person out!

Thanks for sharing those great song lyrics.

Vandal

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JINLYNN 4/7/2012 3:54PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing this song.

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POSITIVELY_EB 4/7/2012 11:13AM

    emoticon

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MSLZZY 4/7/2012 6:59AM

    Thanks for sharing! Happy Easter! HUGS!

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RELISA4HEALTH 4/6/2012 9:06PM

    Thanks for sharing!!!!

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DEEGIRL50 4/6/2012 5:31PM

    emoticon emoticon
Right on Sister! I see the strong woman in you. I'm glad you're finding her too!

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ROCKYCPA 4/6/2012 1:45PM

    Thanks for posting that song - it really has a lot of meaning for all of us.

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LUCKYDUCK2 4/6/2012 12:53PM

    Thank you. I have not heard the song but I like what it has to say. What a great reminder of what I need to do also.

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SLIMMERJESSE 4/6/2012 11:42AM

    A great reminder. Thanks!

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Everything in moderation.......

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Taking this journey with you has been a wonderful thing. I have learned so much about myself and others struggles and joys. Some of the things I have learned have been very hard to stomach.

I hate when I hear about abuse in families….spousal abuse….child abuse. It breaks my heart. And while these things don’t occur in my house or life….I realize that I AM guilty of abuse…..to myself.

I have been having a great struggle with my legs lately. I am in a lot of pain. And now I look back at the past few months and I see that I did this to me……I abused the one thing I have control over……me.



I’m not just talking about the normal(ok…normal for me)….stress eating. I started working at a place where I have a little longer drive than what I was used to. I could drive there multiple ways…..two of the ways went right past……..McDonalds.

I started going 2-3 times a week on my way to work…..an easy way to get breakfast. I truly thought this was okay. I wasn’t going over my calories….I wasn’t buying meals….just a sandwich….and a diet coke. Diet coke (caffeine) gives me restless leg syndrome. I can only have one small glass a day or else I pay dearly. I figured that out right away so I only got a small diet coke and that was my caffeine fix for the day.

So all of a sudden I was having trouble with my legs….swelling and incredible pain. I could hardly walk by the end of the day. I went to the doctor and they tried to add water pills to my diet. That didn’t work so they scheduled a test for the veins in my legs.



Basically…my veins suck which is causing swelling in my legs. I’m wearing mild compression socks everyday and keeping my feet up at night. I couldn’t figure it out…I haven’t gained weight so why was my body suddenly falling apart. …..McDonalds… Processed food just isn’t that great for you.



I had no idea how often I was going until I was getting ready for taxes and going through my receipts….oh my…..makes me sick today to think about it.
I don’t go there anymore and I am healing…slowly but surely. And I’m learning….everything in moderation…..I keep telling myself that!!

Hugs,

Keri

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ID_VANDAL 4/2/2012 2:19PM

    Glad you got it figured out and are taking action!! I agree with you that this processed food is just killing us - literally killing us!

You are dealing with a lot of stress and have shared a lot with us over the past couple of years so give yourself credit for staying in the ring and not just giving up.

Now it's time for you to just get after it - no more putting things off!! You are tough and you are capable of doing anything you want!! Right? Of course I am so here's to your first steps toward a better and healthier you!

Vandal

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RELISA4HEALTH 4/1/2012 8:20PM

    Mcdonald's used to be a familure stop for me too. It appears to be a quick solution, but sadly it does harm our bodies. The key is learning what needs to go, so a new plan can be put in place.
As you observe the areas you want change may you find the success you long for.

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NANCY- 3/31/2012 9:18AM

    Keri, give yourself credit for realizing what was happening and making positive changes. You are doing great in helping your body heal.
WTG on being mindful and taking care of you.
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(love your picks of pics you posted)

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DEEGIRL50 3/31/2012 1:07AM

    You've learned from your mistake and that gives you a leg up! (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
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Take care of yourself and feel better soon!
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AMBERROGUE 3/30/2012 9:34PM

    I read about halfway through your blog and got stuck on one sentence:
"I abused the one thing I have control over: me."

I can't thank you enough for sharing your thoughts for they have given me quite an epiphany.

Hang in there and keep putting on foot in front of the other!

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POSITIVELY_EB 3/30/2012 7:44PM

    Oh, I feel for you! My legs are not in the best of shape and I also have Achilles Tendonits! It's a really good excuse to NOT exercise! NOT!!! LOL! Take care of yourself, my friend!

HUGS!!!

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FORMYDARLINGS 3/30/2012 7:19PM

    I hope your legs are healing and now it is time for you to heal yourself. Sometimes we all forget that it is not all about the calories or the scale or any one thing. It is about the lifestyle and obviously McDonald's shouldn't be part of it for you. Good lesson learned so take what you know now and move forward. It is another bumo, albeit painful bump, but just a bump in the road. You'll be up and moving ahead in no time. Thanks for sharing.

Gini

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LUCKYDUCK2 3/30/2012 12:37AM

    Its a lesson we all need to remember and sometimes have to learn again. It is not only the number of calories, but the quality of the calories. I am so glad you have some answers and are getting help .

And, thank you for sharing this about your reaction. I have issues with my lets too and am seriously going to make some more adjustments here.

See, its a lesson I needed to hear and THANK YOU for pointing this out to us.

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OOLALA53 3/29/2012 11:47PM

    It was an honest mistake. Hope you can find a convenient alternative for breakfast. I often take my breakfast in the car because I find I can actually relax more and eat slowly on the drive. emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/29/2012 11:12PM

    Who knew? I am so glad that the closest
McDonald's is 35 miles away. But we have the
local Dairy Bar at the edge of town. Good thing
it is the opposite direction from where I turn to
go home.
Take care and take heart. You figured out
what may be causing you pain and can do
something to get better. So sorry you are in
such pain. HUGS!

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KARENCRANER 3/29/2012 10:51PM

    Good self-reflection, Girl, but don't let it drag you down. Forgive yourself and move on with a smile! emoticon emoticon By the way, LOVE your eye for art on your blog!

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Checking in....

Tuesday, March 06, 2012





I miss checking in with you all....I hope I have some time soon. I have lots to share. I'm doing fine! I NEED to catch up with all of you!

Soon....

Hugs,

Keri

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ID_VANDAL 3/9/2012 11:50AM

    Good to hear from you!! Hope you check in again real soon since you always have a great blog.

I really liked those quotes - especially the one about eating intelligently!!

Keep heading down the path to good health!!

Vandal

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POSITIVELY_EB 3/7/2012 7:27PM

    Nice to hear from you! Check in again - soon!!!

HUGS!

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LUCKYDUCK2 3/7/2012 4:27PM

    Keri! I am so glad you checked in. :)

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MOMFAN 3/7/2012 2:43PM

    We miss you too!

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UP2ME_CC 3/7/2012 5:49AM

    emoticon

Hope to read your good news soon.

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AMBERROGUE 3/6/2012 11:56PM

    Hope you're well! Miss you!!

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SUNNY1432 3/6/2012 11:06PM

    Nice hearing from you and I'm glad things are going well!! emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/6/2012 10:49PM

    I will be excited to read what has been
going on and hope it is all good! HUGS!

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Update

Thursday, January 26, 2012





No real news on my legs. I go into the hospital tomorrow to have a doppler ultrasound. Will let you know how it turns out.

Hugs,


Keri

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMBERROGUE 1/31/2012 9:25PM

    Sorry to hear that you're having trouble with your legs. I hope they are able to get you fixed up!

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LUCKYDUCK2 1/29/2012 7:38AM

    Thinking of you and hoping all is OK.

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MOMFAN 1/27/2012 11:26PM

    emoticon

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POSITIVELY_EB 1/27/2012 9:12PM

    emoticon

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MSLZZY 1/27/2012 9:48AM

    Hope all goes well and you get answers. HUGS!

Love the signs!

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NANCY- 1/27/2012 7:43AM

    Love those pics!!!
Hope you get some answers.
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ID_VANDAL 1/27/2012 5:25AM

    Good luck with those legs! I'm sure the doctors will get it figured out. Thanks for letting us know and keep us posted!!

We are all going to succeed this year.

Loved your signs by the way!

Vandal

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DAMIENNA 1/27/2012 5:14AM

    Good luck to you!

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ARTJAC 1/27/2012 3:07AM

    emoticon

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DEEGIRL50 1/27/2012 12:00AM

    You need good legs to stand on. I hope they have an answer and a treatment plan for you.
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