Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I don't know if you have ever heard this before, but even if you have, it's a good reminder.
Free will is an interesting thing. It gives us all the power....the power to do right and wrong.....good and bad.....healthy or not. And part of that power is the power to choose. And choose we do......
No matter what it is....we have the choice....and you do choose...whether you take responsibility or not. You can say that you were at a buffet and there was nothing to do but eat 5 plates of food....but really...you made the choice. You always have the power.....you control your destiny.
I know I have been making all the wrong choices lately. And I can give you a million of excuses......and I know if you heard them....it would sound like deja vu....come on .....be honest with yourself. But truly, if you are faced with a buffet....it's your choice on how to fill your plate......what to put on it....how much to put on it. Now I haven't been to a buffet lately....so don't go thinking I splurged on something.
My eating hasn't really been out of control lately and I have been cooking more with real foods. However, I am still not being good. I'm still making bad choices....and yes....they were my choices....I had power over them.....I knew they were wrong....yet I went ahead anyway.
I told myself every day this week that I was going to exercise today....and I didn't. I sat on my but most of the day. I did clean toilets and made a beef stew for supper(yesssss....I washed my hands ;-)
Why did I do the wrong thing......why did I make the wrong choice? I can tell you I have been depressed lately and am getting pretty good at feeling sorry for myself. I could tell you all sorts of sad stories and even though you have some too....I'm focused on my own. But honestly....it's just an excuse.....I chose wrong.
I DID! I DID IT! I chose....I was in control....and chose to fail myself. I'm not proud of it and I really want to focus on turning this around. I'm not sure how I'm going to do....but I'll work it out.
I WANT to change.....I WANT to make better choices....no excuses.....just me and my health.....me and my power.......me and my self esteem. I'm in it to win it....no.....I'm in it to have a choice.......I need to keep my power to choose.....and I can only do this if I'm healthy........