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Caregivers

Monday, August 10, 2009

If I could be like the colleges, who give out honorary doctorates, I would give a doctorate right here/right now to every caregiver.

My father in law had a pacemaker/defribulator put in on Friday. My husband and I were supposed to show up on Saturday morning and drive him home. Easy enough, then we had plans to go on a nice hike and then to a movie that evening. How quickly things can change!

We get to the hospital and find out they have been trying to put him in a home but couldn't find one that would take him. Apparently he isn't allowed to move his arm for three days. It was in a sling and because of that he was finding it impossible to maneuver his walker. Going home was going to be nearly impossible. He has a chair that can raise him up and down, but other parts of normal living would be difficult.

He didn't want us to know and didn't call and tell us. My husband was beside himself wondering what to do. I think he would have moved in with him if I hadn't volunteered to take him to our house.

So......good-bye hike. Hello total chaos! It's so funny that we recently became empty nesters and then we have an 85 year old move in with us for a few days. What an adjustment! It's like having a 250 lb. baby. My husband had a hard time dealing with life's "little accidents" to put it kindly. My brand new recliner was christened along with a few other things. My husband was like "How can you be so calm about it? Aren't you mad? What are we going to do?" Well, it's like this. It's just stuff......I can't do anything about it. When he leaves, I will get out the cleaning supplies and life will go back to normal.

In then end, I didn't get my extra workouts in this weekend. But I didn't snack this weekend either. I spent a lot of time with my father in law and I have no doubt, this weekend meant a lot to him. But I do know that there is NO way I could do this on a full time basis.

So kudos to the caregivers out there. I so admire the ones who do it.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYDUCK2 8/10/2009 7:56PM

    And kudos to you for opening your door to him. It is hard but so worth every minute. Our parents raised us...time to step up and give back. :)

My mother in law moved in with us for six months and then into assistant living. She loved it there. She had her own apartment and many people her age to visit with. It is so much better then a nursing home. There is total freedom to come and go as they want. Someone is there to make that phone call if anything happens.

I put plastic sheets on my recliner and then a slipcover . Yes, accidents happen but I love the heart your are showing and sharing with him. I am sure your husband also appreciates what you are doing for his dad even if he is stressed right now and doesn't know how to deal with this. I bet it is hard for him to see his father helpless like this. I know it bothered my husband to see his mother "fail".

Hugs to you and your big heart.

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POSITIVELY_EB 8/10/2009 5:25PM

    I definitely agree! You were wonderful! emoticon

Hugs! Beverly

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P316LEIA 8/10/2009 3:37PM

    Most importantly, you were a caregiver when your father-in-law needed you the most. KUDOS to you and your husband for stepping up to the plate and doing what needed to be done. emoticon

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Funny isn't it?

Friday, August 07, 2009

I have been struggling with my weight for some time. Probably since I had my son in 1989. I was never a skinny minny, but I was an average size. You wonder, how did it go so wrong? Now, all my husband wants is for me to be healthy. So to make a long story shorter.....here I am.

I was reading some blogs this morning and it's gonna sound funny, but I was shocked.

There are a lot of people here just like me! I'm not special in this. I'm not the only one this has happened to. My blood pressure is out of control, I've just been diagnosed with prediabetes, and I have trouble tying my shoes. And I'm reading and what the heck-- there are so many people who are telling my story, with one small difference. They are making progress.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining or being negative. I am going to make progress too. I love how this website works. There are some amazing inspirations on this site. It feels like family.

It's kinda like having freckles or birthmarks or maybe red hair(which I have two of the three!). We all have the family trait. But unlike freckles and birthmarks, we can do something about it.

We can be there for each other, in good times and bad, supporting each other to success. I want it so bad. I want it for you and I want it for me. Have a great weekend and good luck. You can do it.......I can too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSITIVELY_EB 8/8/2009 1:09AM

    Yes, we can!!! And we will!

Hugs! Beverly

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KING*GET*FIT 8/7/2009 9:59PM

    Great blog! You will find success if you just follow the sparkpeople plan. It really work and you are right, the community is a great part of the deal.

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MNNICE 8/7/2009 3:11PM

    It surprised me, too, to find so many people who have/had the same problems as me -- in particular, the night-time binging problem. Somehow, it helps to know that we are not alone and don't have to feel so guilty and ashamed when we don't do so well! It's interesting that when I finally was able to break a 6-year plateau is when I told myself that it was okay that I would probably always be overweight, but at least with good nutrition and exercise, I would at least be healthy! Suddenly I found myself losing another 30 pounds beyond what I ever thought was possible! Yes, we can do it and we are here for one another!

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NONNASH22 8/7/2009 2:58PM

    I loved your blog...we are just like a big family!! And just like family...we are your biggest cheerleaders & love you no matter what!!!

We're rooting for you!

ps. you are making progress...you're changing your entire mind set & that's HUGE!!!

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LUCKYDUCK2 8/7/2009 2:50PM

    You CAN do this! We all can and will reach our goals.

The important thing is to be kind to yourself. Never ever end the day by telling yourself you failed or remind yourself that you did something wrong. first, tell yourself everything you did RIGHT! Pat yourself on the back for it.

Then, look at the areas you want to improve in and come up with a plan of action to fight back . Triggers are strong and our responses to them ingrained into us. Many of us have used food for comfort or rewards. These bad habits take time to address and to change. So, give yourself time to learn. When you mess up....you are not failing . You are learning. Some times the triggers win but over time YOU will be the winner.

Never EVER tell yourself you will start over tomorrow because you messed up today. Instead, start over with the next meal or snack on the SAME day and then come here and share what happened and try again to isolate the feeling or trigger that nailed you and come up with a plan for a different reaction because that trigger WILL happen again and so will the response until you recognize it for what it is.

I LOVE red hair. :) What my muddy brown, blond and grey what the color will I be this month ? LOL

WE ARE going to succeed. emoticon
__________________

LOL I repeated myself from yesterday, didn't I. Sorry but well the biggest lesson I learned here is ...it is not the food that was the problem. It was the reasons for eating it other then hunger.

Have a healthy day and hugs

Comment edited on: 8/7/2009 2:52:44 PM

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Ready....Set...Go

Monday, August 03, 2009

I'm going to take the plunge today and move out of Fast Break. I'm a little nervous because I was comfortable there. I could manage that! I went at my pace and it seemed easy. Of course it was. The hard work hasn't begun. And that's the part that frightens me. I don't want to fail. I am focusing on the positive and not the negative, but that darn little negative gnome (you know, the one who sits on your shoulder and whispers doubts and fears to you) just sneaks in little digs all of the time. I'm trying to pry him off but WOW!, he has used some incredible super glue. Combined with the fact that he has been there for years, it seems like a daunting task. But I understand that excercise knocks him off so I'm through making him comfortable there. I will shake him off for good! Along with these stubborn pounds I can't stand. Here I go.......

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYDUCK2 8/5/2009 12:05AM

    I don't think there is a person on this wonderful site that has not faced the fear of another attempt at losing weight and the possibility of failing. We all have failed attempts in our past. Why? Because we WERE on a DIET and even if we lost the weight...we had not learned how to make those changes needed to keep the weight off. Thus the yo-yo effect.

Here , let the past attempts go. Get rid of the word diet altogether. You are NOT on a diet. You will be learning how to eat for a healthy long life . The tools here will help you succeed by learning to eat proper portion sizes and making healthier choices you can LIVE with.

Attack the triggers that are attacking you. You have just idenitifed a trigger...fear of failing. A strong one we must all face.

Take this one meal, one mini goal and one day at a time. At the end of the day, NEVER tell yourself you failed or did bad. Instead, point out what you did right. Give yourself a mental high five. As you accomplish each mini goal, you will feel stronger and more in control and the fear will start to leave.

If you slip...start over on the SAME day with the next meal or snack. Don't let yourself start over tomorrow. Tomorrow becomes a week, a month and then a year goes by with just starting over. I learned that one the hard way. :(

Old habits go out kicking and screaming so be kind and give yourself time to learn new ones .

You can do this...one day at a time. Hugs

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ORANGESERBERT 8/3/2009 11:33PM

    Yes that gnome can be cumbersome! This losing weight is not easy, but you're absolutely right eating right and exercising will shush that gnome right up.



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This is it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I really want to make this work. How many times have we all said and heard this? What is going to make this time any different? Well, I am certainly sick of myself and how I look. I saw a picture of myself that was two years old yesterday and I looked sooooo good. Which is weird because I remember back then, I felt very overweight and I still had some weight to lose. Funny that I wish I could be that weight right now.

I will be that weight again. I am going to focus on the positive and keep striving to improve myself and my condition. I have been wearing a pedometer and it is amazing how that little thing really keeps you focused on walking an appropriate amount of steps. That was the first positive thing I have done in this process.

The second thing was signing up at sparkpeople. I didn't even know it existed until my doctor told me about it. What a great site. It will be very helpful for me in my journey back to a healthy weight. I am going to do it. Watch me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYDUCK2 7/30/2009 5:28PM

    We will all be here cheering you on!

I saw a photo of me and did NOT know it was me at the time. That was MY wakeup call. Odd how the mind can play games and not let us see the real us...whether heavy or thin. It really all starts between the ears.

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HUSKERGAL27 7/30/2009 3:16PM

    I've said "this is it" more times than I can count. Here I am again. Good luck with your journey!

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KING*GET*FIT 7/30/2009 2:41PM

    I wish more doctors would use it. It makes living a healthy lifestyle so much easier.

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YELLOWDAHLIA 7/30/2009 2:00PM

    Welcome to sparkpeople! It's a great site! Lot's of motivation and inspiration to be had here!
Good luck on your journey, Linda

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