Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Sometimes I wish I had an answer to this question. Some days, I think I know the answer but lately it's a day to day thing.
Life seems to be throwing me a lot of curve balls lately. Work is going well. I have been able to pick up some additional hours and that has helped a ton. I applied for a job at the Rape Crisis Center that is also run through my mental health center. I am officially off of probation so now I can be considered for it. Please, keep your fingers crossed that I get an interview.
My marriage is...well, there. I wouldn't say I'm happily married or even content, it's just there. I have no idea what I want to even do with my marriage. Hubby left for about two months and has been back for a little over a month now. It is really strange and I don't even know if I have the words to explain how I am feeling about the situation. He finally found a job working second shift at a local factory. We are now on opposite schedules and from Tuesday 4 pm , I won't see him until Saturday morning. This might be a good thing. I will be spending a lot of time by myself and this will allow me to get back into my exercise routine.
I ended up putting on a couple of pounds over the winter. I am happy that I can get back to riding my bike now that it is warmer. It is one of the few things that I actually look forward to now. I get to be myself, not worry about anything, listen to my music and forget about what is currently going on in my life. While I was unemployed, I was able to dedicate a ton of time to working out and the weight came off easily. Now that I work, it seems harder to fit it in. I knew my exercise routine in the beginning was unrealistic...there is no way to maintain it. I need to find the amount of time I need to lose about ten pounds and then on into maintenance.
I do have some bright areas in my life. I have been doing a lot of knitting lately. I have been knitting for some of my co-workers. I think everyone needs a little bright spot in their day to day goings on. Trust me, it gets hectic and stressed working at a crisis hotline. I have also been making a lot of cards lately. I can spend tons of time in my craft room. I cleaned it up a couple of days ago and am so pleased with my progress. I also love spending time with my cats. It has been rough since my dog died in January but the cats are helping me get over my grief. The cats are in charge of quality control of my knitting and I can't knit without kitty supervision. One of the cats even brings down yarn for me. He can't seem to understand why I am not so appreciative of it. See what happens when you don't have children? You develop lives for your cats.
My eating has been different lately. I think I wasn't eating enough. I think that some of my weight gain might be due to the fact that I am eating in amounts that I should have been eating in the first place. Sadly, the compliments I was getting from people helped me stay at that barely eating stage. It is really easy to be dragged into compliments and vanity. Beware!
Happiness to me if being able to just be me. I enjoy going on my bike rides and having some "me time". I'm happy when I can be creative with my knitting and my card making. I love being able to knit and donate it to the charity I run. This weekend my charity donated items to the local chapter of the MS Society at one of the walks. It was so nice having people take the items and appreciate all the love that goes in to the items. I love having my cats around me. I'm happy when I can go out and spend time with friends and my Church family. I try to find some little crumb of happiness each day.
Thanks for reading!