KNLILLA   26,596
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KNLILLA's Recent Blog Entries

Hey everyone! :)

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Hello there! :)
To write a reeeally quick recap about what has been going on lately: i stopped trying to lose weight because once again I started working more (not quite as much as 2 years ago but still...), because I now have a pretty big house to keep tidy, because I now have to try to cook, because my boyfriend loves me the way I am...and - most importantly - because I'm lazy.
A few months ago I was active on SP sometimes spending hours on the site but I don't have time for that anymore.
And about the current situation: I'm taking my weight loss into my own hands again! I'm going to an aerobics class (been twice so far, aiming for 4 times a week), I'm not eating junk (not that I ate extremely much before but still smaller things add up), I'm cooking soups and everything that fits into my diet and I'm actually WORKING ON staying motivated. And the best way to do this is this site and some others too. When I get home in the afternoon after 8-9 hrs of work I feel tired and stressed. But I know (because i tried it) that if i read inspirational and motivational things on the internet it helps me get up and go to my aerobics class. It might sound silly but in times when i wouldn't make myself do it reading stories about how others are making it day by day gives me the push i need to go.
So from now on I'll try to blog about my days: what i exercised, what i cooked, how motivated i am, how much weight i've lost, etc.
Take care everyone, KEEP YOURSELF motivated! :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CIVIAV 10/23/2010 9:54AM

    Whatever keeps you working toward your goals. Don't forget SPARK PEOPLE is here though when you need the extra boost and blogging will keep you visiting.

I find it so easy to convince myself I know what's good for me only it doesn't help me reach my goals so that is how I've learned to measure.

Good for you to know what seems to work.
emoticon

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At least I... part II.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

I got some really nice comments to my previous blog, thank you very much for them, it feels really good! :)

As for my past 3 days:
- i didn't have any calorie deficit (i hade smaller or not so small surpluses)
- i overate
BUT
- i started exercising regularly (day 1: 450 kal burned, day 2: 940!!, day 3: 790)
- i drank at least 8 cups of water each day

Today i'm planning to do my regular exercise, drink my regular water but this time i won't overeat, thus i'll finally have a calorie deficit!! :) I've got 4 full days (including today) before we move back home with my sweetie and i'd like to make these 4 days count because if i do i know i will be more motivated to keep going on the first days at home (which otherwise would be challenging because we'll have a lot to do and that's when people tend to completely forget about watching their diet and exercise). So i'll try to get into the habit again now, and that will make it easier to keep going on those first days! :)
Take care everyone!
Lilla

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLAALI 6/12/2010 2:51PM

    Lilla!!! I SUCK!!!! I can't stay motivated UGHHHH!!!!!!! Please come beat me up!

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HAWKEYERANT 6/9/2010 12:36PM

    You can definitely do it! You're rocking it!

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ELMA85 6/9/2010 9:46AM

    Well done! 900+ kcal burned in one day?! You're my new role model! emoticon

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PMAY0313 6/9/2010 8:18AM

    Yeah!
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At least I...

Sunday, June 06, 2010

I haven't been doing anything lately to lose more weight. On the contrary. I ate more and didn't exercise, so i probably gained. I say 'probably' because although i measured my weight (and the scale says i'm up 2 lbs) i can't tell how much i really did or did not gain, because the weight can fluctuate from one day to another. But i don't wanna foul myself, i can see it on my body: i gained.


See, it seemed so great back in february. I knew i was gonna have more than 4 full months when i can do what i want because i won't be working. I planned to lose my extra weight and get as toned as i can. Well, the 4 months are over. I started at 76 kgs, the lowest i went (3 weeks ago) was 71, i'm about 72 now. The difference between the starting weight and the lowest is 5 kgs. That's 11 pounds and that's not much. Some people lose that in a month, i lost it in 4 months, and this is f...... depressing, considering the fact that i wanted to lose 18!!!
I know i'm the only one to blame, i know i could've accomplished it - and sometimes this make me feel even worse. Not that i don't wanna take the responsability...i'm just angry at myself. I know i should love myself (my body too - the way it is) and i know i should be forgiving towards myself...but i'm neither. I hate my body and not even the fact that my sweetie absolutely adores it changes anything. I always felt that it doesn't matter how much he loves it because i have to love it - but i don't.

I see photos of other women. They're beautiful. And i know i was close to that. But i f...ed up. I f...ed up very badly... i know i could look like that...but these 14 kgs (about 30-31 lbs) seem like an obstacle that is too big for me.
I thought about emotional reasons that cause me to not be able to go lower than 71... i don't know what to say...


The thing is that 6 days from today my sweetie and i will move back home. We'll live by ourselves, work from monday to thursday, about 10 hrs each day. i will cook most of the foods for ourselves and we'll sometimes eat at my mom's. We want to put money aside and decided that we won't eat out (we are not the big dining out type of couple) and we won't buy junk either (he's the junk-buyer type).
Back in february i thought losing weight will be sooo easy for me this time because i'll have free time. Well, no matter how much free time i have, i still can't do more than 2 hrs of exercise per day, and being home all the time makes me bored and go check out the fridge a lot...
I'm hoping that when we'll start working i won't eat that much as now...and i'm not only hoping, actually 'hoping' isn't the right word - i'll try. I don't feel so powerful right now so i'm not saying: i'll do it. :) But i'll try.
Also, I'd love to go to the gym. Somehow that has always worked for me. But that will be expensive too and as i said we want to put money aside... But i think i'll go anyway, maybe try to find something good but cheaper. I don't like going alone though and the only person i can go with is my sister but she's very irresponsible in this matter. I could go with my boyfriend but besides the extra cost i'm not even sure he'd like to, he'd prefer some strenght exercises done at home i think, like push ups, crunches, and exercises with hand-weights. I won't be able to do much cardio outside the gym...or better said i don't want to. See, we'll live at a hilly place. Jogging for me is out of question until i don't lose more weight, with ot without hills. Biking - let's just say i absolutely HATE biking on hills and if i hate something i don't do it. The other problem with biking is the absolute lack of biking roads. Also, i'm sick and tired of bad weather. I read people who did marathons in heavy rain, well, i don't care, i'm not one of them. It makes me angry if i have to be outside when it rains (even the wind blowing in my face without any rain makes me angry).
So i've only got the gym left, right? Yeah, i think so. Also, i'd love to do strenght training too, but not the type you do at home, because we don't have equippment besides some weights. I'm used to the equipment in the gym and i remember that it game me pleasure and it was great for my body. Also, i'll more probably skip a workout done at home than one i'd do in a gym...i don't know why, but that's the way i am...
I try to look at these past 4 months and be happy for them. I want to be happy for those 5 kgs, no matter how much more i've planned. I want to be happy for those many many hours of cardio i did, i know they were beneficial for my body (heart, etc) even though i didn't go close to my goal weight. I want to be happy for all those things i've read and studied, both about health, weight loss and other things too, from sparkpeople and from other sources. Well, these are the things i should be happy for but i struggle. The one thing that i'm absolutely happy about is the time, the days (and night) we've spent together with my sweetie. Those were worth it! emoticon
As for the other things, i'm trying to be happy for them.
At least i've lost some weight, right?
At least i've learned to bike properly.
At least i did a lot of cardio.
At least i had free time to calm down after the worst 2 and a half years of my life.
And at least i learned new lessons.


Like this one: before february i thought that these 4 month will bring the BIGGEST change, i will be a totally different person (in and out) after it, things will change radically, it will be miraculous, etc. Well, from now on, I won't look at a period of time or at an opportunity and think that it will bring magical things into my life. From now on i'll look at that period of time and opportunity, make a plan and try to stick to it. This might sound controversial and you might think i'm too negative... but i don't want to have too high expectations towards anything (especially myself), i just want to do my thing. I'm tired of failing. And i'm not talking exclusively about weight loss. I failed before, in other things. I had huuuuge expectations, i though i'll see miracles happen, but they didn't. and the same thing happened with these 4 months too.
I have a friend: i know him for 4 years and he's always made huuuge goals, both about money, family, how he looks, etc. Well, he's been broke ever since, even made others broke as a matter of fact, he looks maybe a little better than 4 years ago, and he's even farther from having a family than before. In the meantime, he still talks enthusiastically about all his goals...but he doesn't do the right things to achieve them.
So - learning from his and my experiences - i decided to NOT give myself a goal date, by which i want to lose the extra weight. I know sparkpeople says it's useful, but i'm not doing it. I'm tired of failing!!! I will do my thing, each day, eat the right stuff, track my food, do cardio and strenght training, track them, drink my water. I will make all these things a habit, and these habits will bring weight loss along. I'm tired of setting a goal date, like 'lose 7 lbs this month' and end up with a 1 pound weight loss. It makes me disappointed, and i don't want that anymore. I've been having weight issues almost all my life, that's 23 years, so i don't really care if it takes even a whole year to lose this weight. Of course i'd love to walk down the street and feel great!!! I've lost this weight before, i looked good before, i know exactly how great it feels. And on top of everything i'm an inpatient type of person who wants everything NOW (not from others, rather from myself...). But it doesn't matter! This time, there's no timeline that makes me disappointed if i don't reach my goal in time. I'll only have a few habits incorporated into my daily life - and i'll slowly lose the weight too.
Please feel free to tell me your opinion!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELMA85 6/8/2010 1:02PM

    I don't have much to say that hasn't been already said (except I would love a 10 dollar (or euro) gym membership, gyms are pretty expensive in Greece too). I agree with the previous comments. I think it's easier to stick to a daily routine with exercising when you have other things on your schedule as well. I don't mean work like 15 hours a day, but with a reasonable workload it may be easier to workout than during a do-nothing period.

Try planning things ahead when it comes to your meals. I did it for almost 3 weeks although I was buzy and it paid off. I had a few days break due to excessive stress but I'm back now. When it comes to exercise, I think you can try exercising with videos for a while, and if you find that you are slacking you can buy a gym membership. I find it less likely to skip a workout I have paid for too so I feel you on being less likely to skip a gym workout, but I think you can workout at home effectively too. Actually I believe that free weights are more effective, at least this has worked for me e.g. I never got the results of squatting with hand weights with leg extensions at the gym. Plus, free weight exercises are usually multi-joint and work many muscle groups at the same time. You just have to learn how to use free weights properly and the truth is it's more difficult than gym equipment.

I love the ending of your blog. I think you are right, we should focus on actions rather than results. emoticon Take care of yourself Lilla! emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/8/2010 1:07:18 PM

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HAWKEYERANT 6/7/2010 9:38AM

    I know how you feel - but believe me, things are going to get better and you will DO BETTER. You are going to lose weight, change your entire lifestyle and you can totally do this. I know you can!

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ALYSSAMICHELLE5 6/6/2010 3:07PM

    I have to agree with Mrs. Carly when she said that when you have busy days, you FIT the exercise into your schedule. I know the busier I am, and the more things I have going on in my life, the better I am at achieving anything that I want to do.

I know exactly how you feel and totally appreciate your realism and honesty. You have to do what is right for you, and if a deadline is not right for you, then it is not right for you. No big deal. You learn and you move on.

I'm so sorry, though, that you are not where you want to be, or did not accomplish what you wanted to accomplish in this past 4 months. But, hopefully, the next 4 months will be much better....doing it one thing at a time, and taking it at your own pace.

Hugs. I'll be cheering for you!

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MMMMMMNN 6/6/2010 3:06PM

  I know how you feel, sometimes I think we all set our goals too high. It's hard to look at the long term when I just want to lose the weight asap! The last paragraph in this blog really inspired me, I'm going to concentrate on having better habits rather than trying to lose weight for a certain goal date. Thanks!

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MRS.CARLY 6/6/2010 1:24PM

    My gym is 10 bucks a month. I am not sure where you live, but there may be gyms in your area that are a little cheaper...10 dollars a month seems like it could easily be saved!

I didn't work for 4 months...I couldn't find a job. I had all of that time to work out and eat healthy but I didn't. I worked out maybe 5 or 6 times in the whole 4 month period. It is easy to let things fall by the wayside. For ME I need to have busy days in order for me to "fit" in my workouts. I do MUCH MUCH MUCH better when I have other things going on, so I understand where you are coming from. We are boredom eaters. I am just thankful that I didn't gain more than 5 lbs in that 4 month timeframe.

Things will be better, your habits will improve, and you will eventually learn to love yourself again. You are just kinda stuck in "limbo" right now...it is coming to an end. I'm sure the next blog I read by you will be about how much you have accomplished!

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Week 15 workout Plan

Monday, May 31, 2010

Total calories burned this week:
Plan / [Actual]: 2630 / [560]

Total minutes exercised this week:
Plan / [Actual]: 5 hrs / [1 hr 45 min]

**********************

Monday
3 SP videos - 30 min (350 kcal) - did only 1 video, 115 kcal burned

Tuesday
3 SP videos - 30 min (350 kcal) - NOT DONE

Wednesday
Biking - 1 hr (410 kcal) - NOT DONE

Thursday
Biking - 1 hr (410 kcal) - NOT DONE

Friday
3 SP videos - 30 min (350 kcal) - NOT DONE

Saturday
Biking - 1 hr (410 kcal) - NOT DONE

Sunday
3 SP videos - 30 min (350 kcal) - did 1 hr 35 min biking, burned 445 kcal

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAWKEYERANT 6/3/2010 11:03AM

    Great plan - you can do it!

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TEENY_BIKINI 6/2/2010 1:44PM

    emoticon

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Things i'm thankful for - May

Monday, May 17, 2010

May 16
"Know that for every day that you have stayed within your calorie limits, you have used a little of your fat stores. "

May 17
I'm thankful for finding this quote: "I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him."
- Eleanor Roosevelt, human rights advocate

May 18
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Getout and get busy."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HAWKEYERANT 5/17/2010 10:27AM

    Great quote. Thank you.

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ELMA85 5/17/2010 9:32AM

    I SO needed to read the Eleanor Roosevelt quote today! Thank you so much! Take care of yourself. emoticon

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LAURIEANNIE1 5/17/2010 9:01AM

    I used to be on a site that we logged into everyday to write things we are thankful for. Reading this reminds me how much I miss it. Thank you.

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LAURIEANNIE1 5/17/2010 9:01AM

    I used to be on a site that we logged into everyday to write things we are thankful for. Reading this reminds me how much I miss it. Thank you.

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