Sunday, February 23, 2014
I just wanted to let everyone know of a really cool thing that I have found a couple of (maybe 2?!) years ago, forgot about it, and now I rediscovered it and am planning on trying it again.
So it's the website GetSomeHeadSpace.com ! It's daily, assisted meditation! Short meditations, I think it's 10 minutes every day. And even after the 10-day trial it's 5 British pounds (8 US Dollars) a month if you sight up for a year.
And I know that there's a lot of free stuff on YouTube, I'm actually not signing up because I'm unemployed and don't want to spend any (and I mean ANY!!!!) extra money on anything (and I mean ANYTHING!!!), I'm only doing the 10 days but I thought I'd share anyway, because anyone can benefit of those 10 days and maybe someone else might end up feeling like it's worth signing up too.
If you don't do anything at least watch the introductory Day 1 pre-video, which is 7 and a half minutes but it's the most useful video on meditation and inner quiet and peace that I've seen in a long time!
Sunday, February 23, 2014
So my boyfriend took time off from his work, three weeks only, and today is the first day he went back. And my question is: is it mean of me to be kind of glad about it? :) I love him, but being at home alone right now feels so good (well, his sister is here, but she's in the other side of the house so practically I'm alone)!
It's not a big deal, we didn't fight or anything, that's not why I'm glad that he's back at work, I just like being alone at home right now!
I think I will grow to not like it that much with time, but right now I'm feeling good about the whole thing of having the house to myself! :)
Friday, February 21, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
Luckily my overall mood has gotten much better over the past 2-3 days, so I could stick to my goals - kind of. I ALWAYS overeat! Just a little bit, I probably still end up with a calorie deficit for the day, but it's still so stupid of me that I can't control myself.
BUT I don't want to beat myself up about it as long as I end up with a deficit. I don't want to pull myself down and be negative. I'm trying to stay positive and so far it's working well.
But speaking of negative, I have problems with my knees and I worry about that a little bit. I remember about 2,5 years ago I went to my doctor (a very skinny 65-year-old woman who cares very much about her looks and wants desperately to stay young and diets all the time - I know that from her daughter, not herself - and probably looks down on me for having weight problems and not being able to lose weight in my twenties) and she said I should lose weight first and then we'll do tests and an X-ray (you should've seen her face when she said "lose weight first")...
Then when I moved here to the UK I went to a doctor again to look at my knee problem, and first they sent me to physiotheraphy (without doing any tests), then the phisyotherapist said that there's nothing that they can do but they sent BACK a letter to my family doctor with the message that i should be sent to rheumatology. I went to my family doctor to see when they can give me an appointment for rheumatology (I thought that finally the right doctor - a rheumatologist - will see me) and my family doctor said the waiting time can be up to 6 MONTHS!!! This was 2 months ago, obviously no one called me back yet, and I'm moving back to Hungary in a little over a month...
The things is my knees only hurt when I force them but when i say "force" I don't mean some horrible gruesome torture and exercises, I only mean things like a FEW squats and lunges during exercise, or longer walks, or generally being on my feet during most of the day instead of sitting.
For example yesterday yesterday I went for a 3-hour walk. Only a tiny bit of downhill and uphill, maybe 10 minutes total, the rest was plain roads. And after that walk one of my knees started hurting!!! Just a walk!!!! I'm 27 years old!!!!
So I decided that once I move back home to Hungary I'll go and pay a private doctor, I don't care how much it costs!!!
Thursday, February 20, 2014
I had a pretty good day today thankfully. I have exchanged pretty long e-mails with a good friend, ALI, we talked about everything from religion to music, and it felt so good to connect with someone and encourage her but also pick myself back up in the process. Anyway, I made a list yesterday of things that I want to do today for myself. Nothing huge, mostly spiritual things.
- if the weather's nice go for a walk (anything from 15 minutes in the park nearby to a longer walk): well I ended up walking for 3 hours! Which is a lot and it definitely made me tired!
- be kind to myself: I was!
- think/read/watch videos about spiritual topics that interest me for at least a little bit, like 15 minutes: i ended up watching a lot of videos that made me feel better about myself, and it was much more than just 15 minutes.
- track food: I did, here on SparkPeople of course!
- do a minimum 15-minute workout: this one I did not do because I figured all that walking will do for today!
- sit quietly (kind of meditate) for 20 minutes: I didn't do this one either and I don't feel like doing it either, maybe tomorrow when I won't drain myself with such a long walk!
- re-read this list every day: I'm doing it right now! :)
I stayed within my calorie range which is good, and according to my tracked route on SparkPeople I burned 700 kcal with that walk so my calorie balance is pretty good for today, and I'm happy about that but I want to remind myself that right now I want to focus on mentally and emotionally getting better and I refuse to obsess about my weight right now! However I want to stay within my calorie range and have a deficit every day, but - as I said - that's not Goal Number One.
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