Tuesday, June 21, 2011
For me, there was no big beginning. I don't remember ONE day when i decided that i need to do something to lose weight. I remember feeling a 'little big' as a child, i remember my mom telling me not to eat this or that, or too much of this or that. I remember feeling less attractive than the other girls in school. I remember looking in the mirror back then, in about 6th-7th grade and feeling that i'm relatively allright, but i wish i had thinner legs, a flat stomach and thinner arms. I constantly wanted to be smaller, thinner. I got bigger and bigger and when i started university i reached the highest until then. Ironically a man had to come to make me lose weight and get thin. I got a new boyfriend, quickly forgot the previous, and lost a lot of weight to make this new guy adore me. It worked. :) He did! :)
A lot of time passed since then. I was 19 years old back then and weighted 130 lbs at the lowest, i'm 24 right now (hate to say it but i'll be 25 in 2,5 months...). I gained back the weight i've lost (which was 18 lbs) and gained an other 28-29 lbs to it. Yupp, that's when i've hit 176 lbs and freaked out about my weight (for the millionth time by the way). Since the maximum i've lost 12 lbs, so i'm at 164 lbs right now, pretty far from my goal.
What im trying to say is that i don't have a new man right now that can make me not-eat-and-work-out-like-crazy to lose weight. I'm with a new man (by new i mean he's not the one i've lost weight for a few years ago), the ONE, i think (he thinks so too lol :) ), and he loves and accepts me. Sometimes i feel that i'd love him to not like me this way because that way i'd be more motivated to lose weight - for him.
But that would be a bad approach. My approch the last time i lost weight was wrong. I shouldn't wanna lose weight for HIM (whoever that him is/was/will be through the years). I should do it for myself. I WANT to do it for myself, because that is the only reason one should do it (except for doing it for your kids and family - but not for a new boyfriend...). It's so funny how i always get to the topic of past/present boyfriends... I started writing this blog about having no big A-HA moment, but rather having years of slowly gaining, then a big loss for a guy, then slow gaining again...and right now i'm on an other weight loss journey.
I wish i had worked harder, i surely would've lost a lot more weigt than 12 lbs (in 6 months btw). But so far i couldn't keep on having high daily calorie deficits for more than about 4-5 days. After a few days i get fed up with it and ovoreat. I could still manage to lose 12 lbs but i'd LOVE to step it up, so that's partially why i decided to write a blog and maybe write more in the next weeks/months, because writing about my struggles and successes and any silly things i think of is like theraphy.
So here's to my theraphy! :)
Saturday, June 18, 2011
New weight: 74.4 (from 75) kgs. :)
Not much but makes me very happy! :)
Monday, May 23, 2011
I went down to 75,0 kgs last week from 75,6 kgs. I only measures higher weights than 75 since then but i'm stepping it up a little so i'm confident that i'll keep on seeing weight loss (and self-esteem gain)! :)
Happy day y'all! :)
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I WILL do this! I WILL keep on losing weight and feel better and better about myself with each pound lost.
From now on i'm rewarding myself for each kilogram lost!!!
Starting with today, because i went from 76,2 to 75,6 kgs, i crossed the 76-mark, so here's my reward: shopping for something nice!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Something happened that is potentially good. But lets start at the beginning. In the past few weeks i have been lacking energy and willpower. Eating was eating (I mean i was eating a lot) and exercising was hard (i mean i didn't exercise). I decided to let go of exercise and focus on the food part (i know exercise is important but it's 80% nutrition and 20% exercise, so i decided that with the little energy that i have, i should pick the more important one sice doing both is verwhelming). But i couldn't stick to my decision to eat the amount of calories i set up (which is 1200 kcal) because i constantly overate.
SO, fast forward to the day before yesterday: we went to a doctor with David. He has a problem with his skin, it's not a big deal but it's on his face and head, it started about 7-8 years ago, plenty of dermatologists have been visited without any of them being able to help. So a few months ago David's mom sees on TV a show about health and illnesses, and a herbalist (i don't know the proper name for this, a doctor who cures naturally, with plants and natural products, with special nutrition and emphacises positive thinking)...so a herbalist describes David's symptoms EXACTLY, and he also tells that this is something that dermatologists diagnose what David was diagnosed with by all the dermatologists he went to, but none could cure it. SO we tracked down this guy, he's 76 years old and lives at 3,5 hrs trainride from here, so we decided to go to him, maybe he can help David. We went and the guy (besides prescribing special herbal things and pills) told David this:
- sugar (no honey, no FRUITS besides apples, no sweets of any kind)
- no meat (besides fish)
- no dairy products
This was really tough for David because he lives for sweets and meat was a fundamental part of his nutrition too. But this probably is the reason why he ended up with this skin problem (and he also has other smaller problems with digestion, etc), so he understands that he has to do this.
And i decided to do it too. I'm not taking the pills and herbal teas and other things of course (because they aren't the best for everybody and they are also freakin' expensive) but i am skipping sweets and meat (i'm not cutting milk and yogurt but i will cut all other dairy products too - luckily David doesn't like milk and yogurt so it won't tempt him when he opens the fridge).
I wouldn't want to have a lot of things in the house that would be tempting for him, i know how hard it is when something you really like is forbidden but it's right in front of you, it will also be easier to cook this way, and this meal plan will be beneficial for me too, i hope that this way it will be easier to stay on track. I also found it hard to say no to sweets and bad stuff that he was constantly eating, so from now on it will be much easier for me too.
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