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KNLILLA's Recent Blog Entries

I'm not a morning person. Or am I?

Friday, March 11, 2011

I decided yesterday that I'm gonna blog each day (at least that's the plan), so here i am, excited actually to write this blog because it's only 8.30 in the morning and 3 great things have already happened.
First of all i gotta start with yesterday: I was tracking some food i ate, i had no plans to check out anyone from the community, i only tracked my food. Then i noticed a cute status message posted by teeny-bikini about Denzel, her...bike! :)) Well anyways, i checked out her sparkpage (i think the last time when i checked it out was when i added her as a friend, which was a long time ago), i read several of her blogs (and by several i mean the first 50 she wrote when she started this journey...) and i was amazed! She's been going through some tough s..t in the past and she didn't even want to talk about, she said onward and upward, no dwelling on the past, no whining just

hard work

and looking in the future

and POSITIVITY.

And it stuck me.

I am doing none of these.

I am not working hard. My excuse is the lamest ever: i'm lazy. Yes, i actually tell this to myself when i should go in the other room to do an aerobics dvd or work out on my mini stepper while watching a serial i downloaded: "i'm lazy right now". When i go down to the kitchen to eat (or i'm on the road all day and i have to grab something) i hush away thoughts like: i should choose the right stuff, not whatever i crave. It wasn't always like this. I've lost weight several times the right way with sparkpeople's help but i always stopped after 5-10-15 lbs.

I'm constantly looking at the past trying to analyze stuff, understand stuff when the truth is i already know what the deal was, thinking of it just lowers my self-esteem and doesn't seem to help.

And finally, i am not positive. I'm extremely negative. I don't even want to talk about this because it's gonna stop!

SO. What i'm trying to say is that teeny-bikini game me a big amount of positivity and motivation. Which led to eating a healthy breakfast, good mood and something i have never done: i woke up earlier this morning to work out. This is a revelation! It's true that i snoozed for 15 minutes, so i had to work out 15 minutes less, but i still did 15 minutes on my mini stepper (planned to do 25 minutes now and 25 after i get home from work, but with snoozing i only did 15 now but will do 35 after i get home, that's a total of 50 minutes). These 50 minutes will equal 500 calories gone, according to my Polar FT4 watch, which i trust!
I always said i'm not a morning person. But being a morning person ROCKS! I'm full of energy right now. I watched 15 minutes of a serial i like so that's good too, i know i already worked out, i'm proud of myself. Oh and after the 15 minutes i stripped out of my clothes, stepped on the scale and guess what? It showed weight loss! I weighed 76.9 kgs on february 15th, climbed up to 77.7 and then, this morning i weighed 76.8 kgs. Yes, i know, it's 0.1 kg (0.22 lbs) but if you compare it with 77.7 it's 0.9 kgs (2 lbs)!
76.8 kgs (169.3 lbs) is my lowest weight since i started on December the 9th with 79.7 kgs (175.7 lbs). That's 6.4 pounds lost which is not as much as it should be considering that i lost it in 3 months but it's something i'm happy for anyway.
I'm glad for this great morning, i'm glad for blogging, i'm glad for teeny-bikini, i'm glad for the positivity i feel!
Everybody, be positive, i start to get what teeny-bikini said: "I have to protect my mental state like my life depends on it - because it does!"
And the other thing she said: "Slower is better!" Because you learn more. Like i did.

Have a beautiful day everyone! Smile at the sun! :)

  


What's working and what isn't?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

It's been almost a year and a half since a very hard period in my life ended - and i'm still not fully recovered. Will i ever be? I'd like to think that i will. I know i will. But it's probably not happening by itself, i gotta work for it. And lately i didn't work for it - on the contrary: i worked against it.

I used to be focused on "how much" and "by when". Now all i care about is to stay on track when it comes to weight loss. Stay on track day after day: consume 1600 kcal, burn 450, thus have a deficit of 640 kcal daily. I just want to be on the road, no matter how far my destination is. Progress, not perfection.

I am now deciding to blog every day. Just to say what's on my mind. To tell how my day was. Not because i want others to see it (they can of course), but because i want to get it out of my sistem. Like a diary.

I'm tired. Not because i don't have enough sleep. It comes from my mind. i'm not always tired, but much more often than a healthy person. I know what things can make me get out of this hole: good relationship with my love, with my father and sister, my mother, my best friends, and staying in touch often with them (except for my love, we live together so that doesn't refer to him). Reading 'soulwarming' books/magazines helps. Staying on track with food and exercise helps a lot. Having fun, doing things i love in my free time. Earning more money wouldn't hurt either. :) But i don't want to start enlisting all the material things (money, a house, a new car, clothes, etc) that would make me happy because deep inside i feel that these aren't the things i need to be wanting in order to be happy. I want real relationships and friendships and family bonds, a healthy body and mind - and that's about all i want now. I can start seeking more wealth once i 'll be spiritually and mentally wealthy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRIGITTE20 3/10/2011 11:22AM

    I found quite a few similarities with you: my end goal is 125 lb and I have 50 lb to loose and like you I've had a rough year in 2010. I also tend to focus more on the process/journey and how I'm feeling inside and improving my personal relationships. Wishing you the best along the way and success in 2011! emoticon

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ANGIEN9 3/10/2011 11:12AM

    I feel the same way about blogging. It is like a diary or journaling. And it is very helpful to me. I really like your blog post. I wish you good luck.
emoticon

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Deficit

Saturday, February 19, 2011

MODEL:

February ,
BMR + Calories Burned = 1890 + =
Calories Consumed =

Calorie Deficit =

**********************

February 19, Saturday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1890 + 615 = 2505 (burned 615 kcal with 1 hour of aerobics at home, tracked with my awesome new Polar watch)
Calories Consumed = 1840

Calorie Deficit = - 655 kcal

I've been away for weeks because I felt that I'm too weak to do this. Well, I'm not! In fact I'm strong, determined and I'm willing to put in long hours for this. I'm willing to cut back on eating, I'm already doing it and I WILL do this!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELLAALI 2/20/2011 8:57PM

    I have been away for months! We did so good the first time. We know we can do it we just need to pull up some of that old inspiration and get to it!

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FIGURE_1 2/20/2011 3:01PM

    Nice! Great idea to keep track of your calorie deficits.

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Week 3 (January 17-23) calorie deficit = - 2740 kcal!!

Monday, January 24, 2011

So I had a great week last week. I ate things you wouldn't usually consider eating while on a diet, but i tracked everything and if i indulged i then compensated with the next meal being very light and low-cal but still nutritious. I discovered tofu (i know you know it too well in the States but here in Romania it's not a traditional thing so it's not sold in each deli just the bigger supermarkets). I eat it with light ham and whole wheat bread and veggies and i la la looove it! Tastes great and soooo low-cal!
I'm starting to see changes in my appetite too! I don't have as many cravings as before and indulging doesn't mean eating two big plates of the 'bad-for-me' food, it means eating maybe a small plate or a few bites. And this is a better piece of news than making a 2740 kcal deficit this week, because these changes in my behaviour will make this diet sustainable for the long months that come.
Week by week I get stronger, wiser and ... lighter. Each new week brings something amazing: a new reason to feel better and better than before! And staying on track isn't actually that hard. Tracking calories isn't that hard either. And going to the gym 5 times a week is especially not hard - once you're used to it! So basically if you take it seriously for the first 4 weeks then things will get MUCH easier, the things you do won't be chores, they'll be habits, ones you're used to doing. This is a great goal for everyone: stick to the plan for 4 weeks! You'll see how continuing after the 4 weeks will come so naturally!

This week I've went to the gym each time I planned, all 5 times: 5 days * 60 minutes * 560 kcal/class = 5 hours exercised and 2800 kcal burned this week. I like that! I'm down 4.6 lbs so far, I'll weigh in tomorrow morning, I'm very excited and curious. :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELISA322 1/24/2011 8:12PM

    I love tofu. I grew up on it but hardly eat it now. I'm glad you like it!

It's amazing how much we can change. I used to not be able to live without ice cream. Now I don't even keep it in the house and hardly miss it. Once in awhile I'll treat myself but that is rare these days.

And I sooo know what you mean about making habits and how much easier working out is now. I used to HATE exercise. There were years where I could count on one hand how many times I worked out. Somehow my attitude changed just a couple of years ago, and now I don't even think about it -- I just DO IT! Another struggle used to be getting up in the mornings to work out, now it's like clock work. Like you said, all it takes is sticking with it for awhile, then it just becomes second nature.

GREAT job on the calorie deficit!! Keep up the good work and good luck on your weigh in tomorrow.



Comment edited on: 1/24/2011 8:14:07 PM

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Week 2 (January 10-16) calorie deficit = -1385 kcal!

Sunday, January 09, 2011

So i had a system so far in which i added up all the calorie deficits and surpluses for a WHOLE MONTH. And i just realised that it's better if i track it in weekly periods (just like my workouts) rather than in monthly periods because...if i mess up a little it pisses me off that one bad day or days messes up the whole month's number. But if i make weekly totals not monthly totals i can start each monday from zero and that works better for me...maybe some of you don't understand but this is how i fuction, feelings of frustration affect the weight loss process a lot and i know this will work better for me. So here it is: week 2 calorie deficit:

MODEL:

January ,
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + =
Calories Consumed =
Cups H2O =
Calorie Deficit =

**********************

January 10, Monday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 560 = 2300
Calories Consumed = 1600
Cups H2O = 3 (very bad...)
Calorie Deficit = -700
I'm glad for this day! I didn't eat completely after the plan but later i tracked everything and I did better actually than with the plan...:)

January 11, Tuesday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 560 = 2300
Calories Consumed = 1610
Cups H2O = 8 (thanks to soup, planned [!!] healthy aloe vera drink and being thirsty on the aerobics class i managed to finally drink 8 cups! Yaaay!!) :)
Calorie Deficit = - 690

January 12 , Wednesday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 0 = 1740
Calories Consumed = 2700
Cups H2O = 2
Calorie Deficit = +960

January 13, Thursday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 1015 = 2755
Calories Consumed = 1800
Cups H2O = 8
Calorie Deficit =-955

I had a rough Wednesday but i made up forthe calorie surplus with two aerobics classes on Thursday so now i'm exactly where i was on tuesday night: -1385 kcal. I'm gonna ROCK the rest of the week though...friday i'll have double aerobics classes, saturday one hour, being low on calories: my goal is to have a total weekly deficit of 3750 kcal even though wednesday and thursday knocked each other out. LET'S DO IT!!!

January 14, Friday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 560 = 2300
Calories Consumed = 2300
Cups H2O = 8
Calorie Deficit = 0

January 15, Saturday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 0 = 1740
Calories Consumed = 1740
Cups H2O = 3
Calorie Deficit = 0

January 16, Sunday
BMR + Calories Burned = 1740 + 0 = 1740
Calories Consumed = 1740
Cups H2O = 3
Calorie Deficit = 0

  


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